Three Rivers (A Gateway to Love Novel)

by Barlow, Chloe T.

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The remainder of the week together flew by and it was Saturday night before they knew it. Althea and Griffen had fallen into a nice almost routine. Griffen would come by after he was done with his classes and writing for the day. Then he would help Althea with dinner and practice football with Johnny and whichever of his friends that wanted to play with his cool "Uncle Gwiff" that day.

  Griffen was even coaching Johnny's local youth football team. They would eat together, read to Johnny and tuck him in. Then she and Griffen would make love, talk, laugh, and enjoy each other’s company. Althea was loving this time they had together and doing all she could not to think about how much it highlighted her own loneliness during the last several years.

  Johnny was changing into his pajamas so Griffen took the opportunity to slide his hands around Althea's waist, pulling her in close so her back was flush with his chest. She sighed and curled her head back toward him so he could brush aside her hair and kiss along her neck until she shivered.

  "Mmm," he groaned. "I should back off or I'm going to have a raging hard-on I can't do anything about during dinner."

  She turned and smirked. "Serves you right for getting me all worked up."

  "Don’t I always have that affect on you?" he asked, stroking her neck again and rubbing his thumb across her jawline. As his other hand gripped her hip, his fingers traced figure eights across the fabric of her pencil skirt. He loved her sexy librarian work clothes and she was more than happy to oblige — adding stockings, garters and sexy underwear underneath to drive him extra crazy.

  "Cocky bastard."

  "Only for you," he whispered and turned her face to his to kiss her. Pulling away he looked over her shoulder. "What's for dinner?"

  "Mac and cheese and broccoli for Johnny. Moussaka for us."

  "Mac and cheese huh? Where's the box? I need to know if you're a Kraft or Velveeta woman."

  She scoffed and let her latent southern accent come through. "Damn Yankee. Boxed mac and cheese? Blasphemy! I'll have you know I'm a good North Carolina bred woman. No boxes for our macaroni and cheese. It's in the oven bubblin' with buttah and cheddah right now."

  "Holy shit woman, that accent is sexy. Now I'm definitely going to need a cold shower before dinner." She laughed and slapped his hand as he reached over to finger a bite of the cooling Moussaka.

  "Now, even this Yankee knows that's not southern," Griffen said confidently.

  "No. I went to the farmers market at the courthouse after my hearing yesterday. They had eggplants and local lamb. I couldn't resist. I also got fresh berries for a cobbler. That's bubblin' in there real good, too, sugar," she said with a saucy wink and loved the deep groan that came from his throat in response. She was thrilled she'd treated herself to the stop before going back to work. Normally she would have simply hurried back to the office, rushing past the geriatric tour group taking a historic Segway ride around downtown, rather than relaxing to enjoy a moment at a farmer's market.

  "Good. Afterward I'll make sure you don't resist me," his cheesy line broke through her thoughts.

  She groaned happily, "Nice line stud."

  "I'm so hurt. I honestly don't want you to resist me."

  "Oh, I believe that. Like I ever could," she teased with batting eyelashes.

  "Uncle Gwiff?"

  She jumped a bit. They weren't touching but they were close and she quickly skittered away to check on the oven. Griffen's scowl wasn't lost on her as he said, "Hey big man. What's up?"

  "Yo mommy…"

  "Yo Johnny," Althea answered, averting Griffen's icy gaze on her.

  "Uncle Gwiff wants to teach me and Chwis pway action passing."

  "In your pajamas?"

  "Yep." Johnny grinned at her.

  "Put your sneakers on then."

  "Okay mommy. So, we'll see ya later! Come on Gwiff." He ran outside and Althea looked back at Griffen.

  "Thanks for playing football with him. I would probably break my neck," she said softly, feeling guilty about pushing him away just moments before.

  "I love it," he said with a smile, though she could tell it was forced. "It's fun to get to show off all my mad skeelz," his words were light but his eyes still looked guarded.

  Althea kissed his cheek and whispered, "All right all star. But I do appreciate it, I mean, the football, playing catch, teaching him how to fish this morning. Sometimes I wonder if Johnny is missing out being raised by a gaggle of women, so I really am grateful."

  "I'm happy to do it."

  She looked out the window and saw Johnny out back getting ready to knock over Chris and added, "Um, coach, I thought they weren’t really supposed to tackle each other? Why don't you get out there before he knocks out his best friend. I'll finish dinner."

  He pulled her tightly to him so she was pressed against him and said, "Sounds good, but since we’re alone again..." He leaned forward and kissed her neck slowly when his phone buzzed. Althea turned to see him look at the screen and his face closed off suddenly, becoming fraught with tension.

  "Griffen, what is it?"

  "It's, uh, nothing, just something about my book." He turned to her, "I need to take this, then I'll be right out to help Johnny, okay?" he said on a swallow.

  Althea watched as he walked away, suddenly feeling a sense of anxiety she couldn't place. This was just one of many times a call or a text to Griffen had interrupted them. Each time it would change his mood and he would either leave to deal with it or be closed off for the next several minutes. It was a constant reminder that she knew so little about this man.

  Is he hiding something? Is that a girlfriend or something? No, Aubrey would have read about something like that — his whole life is on the internet. You're just paranoid after Jack's secrets. She knew he was definitely a playboy when he wasn't with her, but she felt confident he was honest when he said he wasn't attached to anyone. The calls were upsetting to him, but she didn't know why.

  Althea tried to shake her unease, but to no avail.

  All the more reason not to fall too deeply into this. Stick with the plan, she reminded herself.

  "Trey, what's up? What have you found?" he whispered as he walked out of earshot of Althea.

  "I unlocked a file of some handwritten notes that were saved about a week before Jack died."

  "What? Like they were scanned? Why not just keep the hard copies?"

  "Hard copies are dangerous, just more to be found or lost. Jack clearly wanted everything together."

  "What do they say?"

  "They're of more military contracts with those same kind of notations indicating that there were specific ones the Chinese wanted. But on these there's also amounts of money written down in Chinese Yuan, with different amounts for specs, versus full coding and robotics plans. Check your email and see if you can tell me if you recognize the handwriting."

  "Sure, give me a minute. I'll check it out and call you back."

  He hung up and quietly walked through the house. When he arrived to the study, he yanked open some drawers and looked in the closet. Finally, he landed on a shoebox of cards Jack had sent Althea. His heart twisted at the words of love and devotion. On a swallow he opened Trey's email on his phone, quickly looking at the downloaded attachment when his heart sank. The handwriting was clearly Jack's.

  He replaced the card and closed the closet door, his heart rate racing into his throat.

  "Griffen?"

  He jumped, turning to see Althea.

  "What are you doing in here? Are you done with your call?"

  "I was just looking for a pen. I need to write down a note from my publisher." The lie burned his tongue.

  "Okay, well, help yourself. Johnny's getting anxious, though."

  "You got it," he answered on a swallow as he tried to avoid her suspicious gaze.

  They were cleaning up the dishes after putting Johnny to bed and Althea couldn't resist asking, "Griffen, did your cal
l before dinner go okay? It seems like you've gotten a lot of calls that made you upset. Is there something wrong with your publisher?"

  "It's nothing you need to worry about."

  "Griffen, are you hiding something from me? You know how much I hate secrets."

  "Of course not. I told you. It's just annoying book stuff. The early stages can be intense." Despite his reassuring words, his muscles stiffened against her. This deflection was all too familiar to her and Althea felt overwhelming anxiety begin to course throughout her body.

  She'd allowed herself to be so comfortable and at ease when she was with Griffen after barely a week together, but she needed to remind herself every day that this was temporary and that's the way she wanted it. The whole point was to enjoy herself while keeping her heart distant. Fixating on his every move wasn't going to accomplish that.

  There was no denying how happy he'd made her but her instincts told her to keep everything in perspective, especially when so much of his life was closed off from her. For all she knew, he had multiple no-strings-attached arrangements waiting for him back in New York. She bit her lip in a surprisingly melancholy reflection at the thought.

  Griffen put down his drying towel and wrapped his arms around her waist.

  "Forget about my book. It's a long weekend. What should we do? Want to take Johnny to Sandcastle Water Park or something outside the city — a hayride, maybe? Or we could just relax."

  Althea tried to get back to enjoying the moment. "Hmm, good ideas, but Carol hosts a Labor Day picnic on the Sunday before every year. It's pretty epic, you should come and bring your mom."

  "Will you be there, gorgeous?"

  "Of course."

  "Then I will definitely go," he said with a kiss on her nose. "When should I pick you up?"

  "Um, maybe you should come with your mom. Wouldn't that make her more comfortable?"

  He gritted his teeth and let go of her waist. "Don't you mean make you more comfortable?"

  "Griffen, please. You know I can't show up to Carol's party with you."

  "No, you're right. This is the deal I agreed to." But his jaw twitched as he looked away.

  She leaned over and kissed his neck. "That's right. You're leaving in a week, let's not spoil our fun, okay? Why don't we go to bed? That's the part of the deal we both like," she said with a smile and reached down to stroke him through his jeans.

  "I know what you're doing, gorgeous," he warned, but smiled and kissed her deeply. "Lucky for you it's working."

  They'd made love again and the moonlight was shining beautifully against Althea's skin until Griffen couldn't resist kissing every spot the moon had caressed before him.

  "Mmm, that's nice. This week's been so much fun. You're making me wonder why I didn't do this sooner."

  He nibbled a shoulder. "You were waiting for me, right? Come on, stroke my ego."

  "Your ego is perfectly fine and I've stroked you quite a bit tonight as I recall."

  "Indeed." He suckled a breast and looked up at her. "Althea?"

  "Mmm hmm," she said sleepily.

  "I've been wondering, why has it been so hard for you to move on?" He lay on his side and pulled her to him. Playing with her hair as she clearly thought of the words she wanted to use.

  "I loved Jack very much and when he died I found out right away that I was pregnant and I was so young and scared. I think that delayed any meaningful grief."

  "But what about later?" he asked. "Are you afraid of losing someone else?"

  "Of course I fear loving and losing again. All widows feel that. I also feel so guilty about how he died, like I should have prevented it."

  "How? It was a car accident you weren't even in the car."

  "Yes, but you know how controlled Jack was, how steady he always was." She hesitated. "For a couple weeks before the crash he was incredibly agitated, acting distant, not like himself. I asked him what was going on, what was wrong, but he said he had it under control, that he had wrapped up the issue. He died that night."

  "That can't be your fault Althea."

  "Of course it was. I let him keep putting me off and just accepted his excuses. Maybe I was happier taking no for an answer. It was easier that way. I was so young, too focused on myself and my career that I let myself believe it when he said he was okay."

  Griffen swallowed. He needed her to keep talking. He did care about helping her break free of these feelings but he also needed information. His entire investigation was pointing to Jack's guilt and it was time he asked her the tough questions.

  "Was it something at work? What was he working on? Anything intense?"

  "His robotics work you mean?"

  "Yeah."

  "Well, he was staying at his office really late. I thought it may be what he was working on, but he was doing pretty light stuff. I mean it was challenging, but it was technology for making 3D maps more accurate. It wasn't exactly high pressure."

  "I thought CMU robotics got a big defense contract around that time?" The military contracts with CMU on Jack's hard drive were some serious shit — way more sensitive than 3D maps.

  "Oh no, he and David weren't working on that. He was David's research assistant and pretty much worked on whatever was on his plate."

  "David didn't get military assignments?"

  "No. David's really talented, but he and Jack weren't on those. Jack probably could've moved on to more high profile stuff but he felt he owed David. He'd done so much for him after Jack's dad died."

  "So if it wasn't what he was working on, what was it?"

  She started to cry softly and he pulled her in close to his chest, stroking her hair. "I don't know. I chose not to push, thinking everything would pass. It just got worse."

  "How so?"

  "The night he died, the police said he was driving home late at night. He lost control and drove over the edge into the Allegheny River," she whispered.

  "How could he drive into the river?"

  "We lived right along the Allegheny River in this condo overlooking the bank. You could take a service road shortcut. It was late and the weather was awful. Someone saw the car lose control on the ice and drive into the river and called the police."

  "Do you know who made the call?"

  "No. It was anonymous. The police said it was from a pay phone nearby. That was back when pay phones still existed. They said it was common — people are partying by the river and want to help but don't want to get involved with the cops. The conditions were really bad that night, but more importantly..." She breathed in deeply. "The toxicology report found there was Vicodin in his system. A lot of it. I never knew him ever to mess with that stuff."

  "That wasn't in the reports I read," Griffen grunted as his arms tightened around her. Drugs will also make you desperate enough to do just about anything, even steal. He breathed through his guilt and suspicions, bringing his heart rate down.

  "No, it wasn't. Carol had a friend on the force. He helped to keep it quiet. I didn't find out until later, from Carol. He died and I didn't prevent it. It was my selfishness that killed him."

  He moved her face to his and kissed her. "Stop that, now. It wasn't your fault."

  "But I was his wife, his best friend. I was supposed to be his rock, was supposed to support him. That's what Carol thinks, too."

  "What?"

  "She blamed me for not recognizing he was on drugs or stopping it. She was right."

  "No, she wasn't. It wasn't your fault!" Griffen swallowed hard and took her hand and made a gentle circle with his thumb in her palm. Griffen hated to push her, but he needed to know more. "Were you guys having any money problems?"

  "Um, well, we had been. My scholarship got cut with budget shortfalls and I was having trouble getting a good loan in time — especially with our maxed out credit cards. But Jack said he had it under control. And he did. A week before he died he told me he got a big bonus, so it wasn't money he was worried about."

>   "Do you know how he got the money?"

  "Griffen, this is getting a little personal. Why do you need to know that?"

  "Uh, sorry, I just want to understand what you were going through." He tried to dial down the inquisition before she got too suspicious.

  "Oh, well, okay. Point was he was dealing with something. I wish he would have trusted me with it. He was so protective of me, always making sure I ate, put on sunscreen, had a safe car, didn't drive fast. He was terrified of worrying me and I was so honest with him, but he wasn't honest with me when it counted the most."

  "Are you angry at him?"

  Althea blanched, "I can't be angry with him, he's gone."

  "Just because he's gone, doesn't mean you can't resent that he wasn't open with you." Griffen swallowed, recognizing how much he was keeping from her himself.

  "I guess. I just can't let myself go there. I feel like being angry or disappointed with him would hurt what we had."

  "So you just blame yourself? That doesn't seem fair. Don't you think you should let those feelings go? You know the guilt, the regret."

  "Without the guilt and loss, I don't know what I have left."

  Griffen's heart seized in his chest and he held her so tightly he worried he may crack one of her ribs.

  He breathed slowly until he calmed down a bit and was able to loosen his hold. Deciding it was best to change the subject, he ordered, "You know, the best thing we can do for Jack is to be happy, to remember when he was happy. Only fun memories. Shake on it."

  Althea playfully shook his hand and his heart squeezed at the sight of her brave smile.

  "Deal," she giggled out.

  "You go first. Good Jack memory. Now."

  She laughed, "Uh, okay. Jack was obsessed with lemon juice. Not fresh squeezed or anything, but the big bottles of reconstituted grossness, like you get at Costco."

  "Ugh, yes! He would mix it with Captain Morgan. He acted like it was some kind of great cocktail. Tasted worse coming back up. Trust me."