Case of the Dysfunctional Daredevils

by Jeffrey M. Poole

  I nodded, “That’s right. There was no one else there. No one else but… holy cow. You were there, weren’t you?”

  Jerod bowed once to me and started clapping.

  “Bravo. At least one of you isn’t an idiot.”

  “You’re suggesting you were at the hospital and overheard us talking?” Vance shook his head. “I’m not buying it.”

  “Whether or not you ‘buy’ anything isn’t my concern,” Jerod coldly stated. Gone was the smug visage he had adopted from the moment he revealed himself. Gone were the condescending looks and eye rolls. “You people are all pathetic. I walked right by the four of you. You had asked our friend, the marshal, whether or not he had an angle he was working for the case. Consequently, he didn’t.”

  “Impossible,” Vance breathed. “If what you say is true, then I must be as blind as a bat. I didn’t see anyone else.”

  “Yet, clearly, I was there” Jerod sneered.

  “There’s no way,” Vance whispered.

  “How’d you do it?” I curiously asked. “You must have found a way to move around undetected, only I have no idea what that could be.”

  “Think harder, Bacchus,” Jerod challenged. “You’re the writer, so figure it out.”

  “You know I’m a writer?” I echoed, amazed.

  “Because you told me you were. Good God, man. We were in the Daredevils together. You stood up and announced what you did to the entire group. Is your short-term memory really that bad?”

  “Bite me,” I scowled. “Wait. You say you were at the hospital?”

  Jerod grinned, “Obviously.”

  “If I’m right about this, then you’ve also been to the police station, too,” I guessed.

  Jerod beamed a smile and bowed. “But of course.”

  A notion dawned.

  “Who has the ability to move from place to place, and pretty much become invisible to everyone present?” I asked Vance.

  “Don’t you start, too,” Vance groaned. “No more riddles. If I knew, then I’d… the janitor! You were posing as the damn janitor. You’re the one who emptied the mop bucket in the parking lot the day we were there for C2, weren’t you?”

  “With pride. People say the damnedest things when they think there’s no one listening. You may as well be invisible if you’re pushing a mop bucket. As for you and your investigation, well, after I heard you go over your plan at the police station, I knew what had to be done. On top of that, Marshal Dumbass himself shows up, along with Tweedle-Dee and Tweedle-Dum? You don’t have to be a rocket scientist to figure out what’s going on.”

  “If you knew all these extra cops were going to be here,” I hesitantly began, “and this was nothing but a trap, then why bother showing up? Why not simply disappear, like you’ve done before?”

  Jerod idly scratched his chin. “Well, you guys put so much thought and effort into this endeavor that it would be a shame to let it go to waste. Why mess up all of your hard work?”

  “Arrogant little putz,” I heard Vance growl.

  A thought occurred, and as long as Jerod was being so talkative, perhaps he’d shed some light on the matter.

  “Look, Jerod, would you answer a couple of questions for me?”

  “If I feel like it,” Jerod smirked. His gun was still pointed at Vance, although it wasn’t aimed at his chest anymore.

  “How did you pull off Jitters’ death? I mean, you weren’t even in the same raft. I saw you. You were sitting up front, in the first one. You guys didn’t go over that Class IV.”

  Jerod waved the gun, as if to encourage me to rapidly come to the point.

  “That would mean you’d have to be in the water in order to hold Jitters down, beneath the water,” I continued.

  “Using your boot,” Vance added.

  “I’ll bet you’d like for me to comment on that one,” Jerod teased, glancing over at the detective.

  “What harm could it do to tell us?” I innocently asked. “You’re gonna be jumping off this plane shortly, aren’t you? You’re going to make a successful escape. Surely, there’s no harm in telling.”

  “He’s not responsible,” Vance decided. “He just couldn’t be.”

  “Says who?” Jerod laughed. “I must admit, this is highly entertaining. I’m having the time of my life with you two. Thank you for that.”

  “You think you’ve outsmarted us,” I began, “so…”

  “I have outsmarted you,” Jerod proudly stated. “I’ve outsmarted everyone.”

  “Then prove it,” I countered. “You’re clearly responsible for Jitters’ death. How’d you pull it off?”

  “How do you think I pulled it off?” Jerod politely asked.

  “You were on the first raft,” I recalled. “Assuming you got off the raft and watched the proceedings with everyone else, then there’s no way you could have snuck away. Hell, Vance and I were there. So… that means you couldn’t have been the person who held Jitters underwater.”

  Jerod cocked his head and smiled, but refrained from saying anything.

  “You have an accomplice,” Vance groaned. “Son of a bitch. I should have picked up on that.”

  “Yes, you should have,” Jerod gloated.

  “Marshal Binson said there were no known associates,” I reminded Vance. I looked back at Jerod. “Who is it? We know it wasn’t your former roommate. You killed him several months ago.”

  “Then, who could it be?” Jerod innocently asked. “What’s your guess?”

  I looked at Vance, who shrugged. I think my detective friend was too pissed off to play Jerod’s little game. As for me, well, I wanted answers. As long as he was willing to talk, I was willing to play along.

  “Let’s think about this,” I began. “You obviously don’t care about your former friend, so why else would you have come here, to Pomme Valley?”

  “Why, indeed?” Jerod asked, still grinning that irritating smile of his.

  I mentally reviewed the third raft as it dropped over the Class IV rapid when we all went rafting. Of the five Daredevils aboard the raft, four were able to escape, leaving Jitters and… the guide! It had to be the river guide, but why? Why would he be willing to commit murder for the sake of a convicted killer? What hold could Jerod possibly have over him?

  Or… could the link between killer and guide be something more? Like, I don’t know… maybe a familial connection?

  I pulled up what I could remember of the guide’s face and compared it to Jerod’s. Could the two of them be related? I remember thinking one or more of the staff looked familiar.

  Just then, I flashed back to meeting the staff members who were assisting the skydivers for our two groups. I remembered thinking one of them looked familiar. Well, now I know why. I had seen one of the Pacific NW Jumpers before. He had been introduced to us as ‘Robert’, only I knew him as ‘Jason’, the river rat from the third raft! I pictured Jerod, standing next to Jason, and compared the two. Same height, which I originally disregarded. Same hair color. Same nose. That meant…

  “I can see it in your eyes,” Jerod praised. “Good job. You’re clearly the brains of this outfit.”

  “You can see what in his eyes?” Vance curiously asked. My friend turned to me. “What is it? What aren’t you sharing?”

  “I know why Jerod came to PV,” I proudly declared.

  Vance was astonished. “You do? How? Why?”

  I turned to look at Jerod. “Marshal Binson’s information was incomplete. He said there were no known relatives. Well, he’s missing one: your father. We know him as ‘Jason’, the river rat.”

  Vance frowned. “The river guide? He’s Jerod’s father? No, I don’t buy it.”

  I looked at Jerod. “Tell him.”

  Jerod shrugged. “He’s my father.”

  Vance whistled. “I’ll be a monkey’s uncle. I wouldn’t have called that one. So, are you telling me your father is the one who killed Jitters?”

  “When the raft tipped over, yes.”

  “What
kind of a messed-up family did you come from?” I incredulously asked. “Since when would a father willingly kill for his son?”

  “What father wouldn’t want to keep his son out of jail?” Jerod countered.

  I snapped my fingers. “The guy in the camouflage pants! That was your dad, wasn’t it?”

  Jerod blinked at me, with confusion written all over his face.

  “What was that?”

  “Your father,” I continued. When he’s not in disguise, does he usually wear camouflage pants?”

  Jerod shrugged. “At times. Why? How would you know that?”

  “I’ve seen him in PV,” I admitted. “And, I’m pretty sure I saw him when we were all bungee jumping.”

  Jerod hissed with annoyance. “I told him to lay low, and remain concealed. There’s someone else who doesn’t follow directions.”

  Vance groaned. “Directions? Your father is the person who spiked the water today, isn’t he?”

  Jerod nodded, “Yep. It was my idea, though. Dad wanted to know how I was planning on escaping. Told him a little GHB goes a long way.”

  “A little what?” I asked, confused.

  “You used liquid ecstasy on them?” Vance demanded. “Just how the hell did you get your hands on that?”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know,” Jerod sneered.

  I held my hands in a time-out gesture. “Just what is ‘GHB’? Is it as bad as it sounds?”

  “GHB is short for gamma-hydroxybutyric acid,” Vance reported, as if he was reciting the explanation from a medical encyclopedia. “It’s illegal as hell.”

  “So, sue me,” Jerod chuckled. He pointedly looked at the sleeping people still snoring in their seats. “It worked, didn’t it? Dad did a great job.”

  “What did your father have against Jitters?” I asked, confused. “What sob story could you have possibly cooked up that would have convinced him to do your bidding?”

  “Jitters was Jim’s girlfriend,” Jerod coldly replied. “She had spent time at our apartment, with me and Jim. She was starting to see through my disguise.”

  Vance’s mouth dropped open. “Jitters was Jim’s girlfriend. I never caught that.”

  “Jim?” I repeated, confused.

  “The roommate,” Vance explained. “James. Hades? Any of this ring a bell?”

  I nodded, “That James. Okay. What about C2? What’d he do to you? Did he find out who you really are?”

  Jerod gave a noncommittal shrug. “I don’t really have anything against C2.”

  “Then, why’d you do it?” Vance asked.

  Jerod suddenly grinned. “Honestly? I didn’t mean to. It was dark. I grabbed the wrong harness.”

  “Whose did you want?” Vance asked.

  Jerod shrugged, “Either of you two would’ve made me happy.”

  As I eyed Vance, to see what his reaction to that would be, Jerod reached into his jacket pocket and pulled something out. I heard the tell-tale crinkle of a plastic wrapper and realized he must have pulled out some type of snack. Once Jerod turned back around, and I saw what was in his hand, I shook my head.

  “What?” Jerod demanded.

  “Nothing,” I decided. “Have you always liked Zingers?”

  Jerod looked down at the snack cake with the thick frosting on top and shrugged.

  “Call it a weakness. I’ve always had a thing for these.”

  “You like the sugar rush,” Vance guessed.

  Jerod shrugged again, but then frowned when he saw me look conspiratorially at Vance.

  “What?” he demanded. The gun swung around until it was pointed at us. Well, me, in particular.

  “Nothing,” I said. “Seeing you with that Zinger has answered a few questions for me.”

  “Like?” Jerod challenged.

  “Your fascination with convenience stores for one,” Vance answered.

  “What about them?” Jerod curiously asked.

  “You break out of prison, but then promptly hold up a convenience store?” I asked, as I recalled the information Ash had given us when we had first met. “You were going after those sugar bombs, weren’t you?”

  Jerod grinned, and took a healthy bite of his snack cake. Stuffing the last bit of icing and cake into his mouth, he immediately reached for the second of three cakes in the package.

  “The grocery store,” I reminded Vance. “What do you want to bet he was trying to draw our attention to the store?”

  Vance looked over at me. “Huh?”

  “Whenever we were out driving around? And we got a reaction whenever we passed the grocery store? They were trying to alert us to these damn mini cakes.”

  Vance nodded. “I can buy that. Do you think that goes for the gas station, too?”

  At this point, we were completely ignoring the convicted mass murderer – holding the gun – and, instead, having a quick, cheerful comparison of notes, like we would if we were talking about our favorite football teams. Understandably, this did not go over well with the aforementioned mass murderer. Jerod strode purposely up to me and thrust the gun in my face.

  “Do I look like someone who should be crossed??”

  “Oh. Sorry ‘bout that. Look, I’m just saying that we were aware of your visits to the grocery store and the gas station. Now we know it’s because of those things. Seriously, man, are you sure you want to keep eating those? They are, what, a thousand calories a piece?”

  Having finished the second cake in the package, Jerod moved to the third. He slowly crumpled the wrapper up and then tucked it inside Ash’s jumpsuit.

  “Why do I get the feeling we aren’t gonna like what happens when he finishes that last cake?” Vance quietly asked.

  Jerod grunted once, and held the gun up, like he was making a toast.

  “We need to keep him talking,” I softly murmured. And, seeing how Jerod didn’t appear to like knowing we knew about his habits, inspiration struck. “How long were you at that campsite?”

  Jerod paused, with the Zinger only halfway to his mouth.

  “What?”

  “How long were you at that campsite by the river?” I repeated.

  “Wh-what campsite?” Jerod stammered.

  Vance and I shared another conspiratorial look. “You know exactly which one I mean. It had the small, built-in barbecue, with the two picnic tables nearby?”

  “You’re bluffing. Grasping at straws, are you?”

  I looked over at Vance. “What was it, maybe half a mile from that Class IV drop?”

  “Upriver,” Vance confirmed.

  “I was there two days ago,” Jerod quietly confirmed.

  “Researching the river, no doubt,” Vance deduced.

  “How did you find it?” Jerod asked.

  I shrugged, “Does it matter?”

  Just like that, I was staring at the business end of Jerod’s gun. Again. “How did you find it, writer? I told no one about it.”

  Just like that, I became worried that, should I tell Jerod about Sherlock and Watson, that he might seek retaliation against them for being able to figure out what he’s been up to. So, I wasn’t about to tell him a damn thing. Vance, noting the look of resolve which had appeared on my face, nodded his agreement. The gun suddenly swung over to Vance.

  “One of you, and I don’t care who, is going to tell me how you knew about that campsite.”

  To this day, I still have no idea what came over me there, in the plane. The only thing I remember, at the time, was thinking there was no way Jerod was going to let Vance and I leave, with our lives. Why, then, should I tell him a damn thing? The answer was simple: I won’t.

  “No, I don’t think so.”

  “I’m the one holding the gun here,” Jerod reminded me, as he waggled the gun directly in my face. “You’ll do as I say or...”

  “Or what?” I wanted to know, as a I threw as much of a sneer in my voice as I could. “You’ll kill me? Logic suggests you’re already planning on doing that. Anyone can see it.”

  “Well, if you w
ant to live, then you’d better do as your told,” Jerod sputtered, growing angry.

  “Nope.”

  “Nope?” Jerod incredulously repeated. He looked at Vance, as though he couldn’t believe someone had the gall to refuse him.

  My friend shrugged and ended up nodding. “I’m with him. I don’t feel like cooperating, either. If you’re going to shoot us, then just do it and get it over with.”

  Jerod seethed with frustration, and for one horrifying moment, I actually thought he might take Vance up on that very notion. Then, an evil smile appeared on his face, and I knew he had, somehow, found another ace up his sleeve. From the way he was leering at the sleeping passengers, I knew it wasn’t gonna be good.

  “Don’t even think it,” I warned him. “There are over two dozen people on this plane.”

  Jerod fell silent.

  “You’ve won, buddy,” Vance added. “You outsmarted everyone. You’ve got the gun, you’ve got a parachute, and you have the advantage. Just jump and go, all right?”

  “Oh, I will. But, here’s the thing. You two will be joining me.”

  Vance and I both shook our heads no.

  “Methinks not, amigo,” I contradicted.

  “You’re not going to jump?” Jerod asked, then frowned. “After all we’ve been through, you don’t want to make that final jump?”

  “Absolutely not,” I said.

  “I’ll pass,” Vance said, at the same time.

  “I think you will,” Jerod argued.

  “I think you’re wrong,” Vance argued. “Why the hell would either of us jump now?”

  “Oh, you’re clearly not intimidated by the notion of death, so this will be a piece of cake. Besides, you two are inexperienced. This will be fun as hell to watch.”

  “You can get your kicks elsewhere,” I staunchly declared.

  My heart sank as Jerod’s gun, which had been pointed at Vance, suddenly swung around and stopped. At the cockpit.

  “You will jump, or I’ll shoot the pilot.”

  “You can’t do that!” Vance cried. “Think of the people here. They’d all die!”

  “Then prepare yourself, Clouseau,” Jerod snapped. He pulled back his left sleeve to study his watch. “I’d hurry if I were you. You have less than two minutes until we’re jumping.”

  “Jumping out of this plane was never part of the plan,” I argued.