Fallen Princess

by Chantal Fernando

  “You want me to walk away?” I surmise, wincing when I picture myself back behind a desk, doing bookkeeping full-time, being bored out of my mind and wishing for a little adventure. “Maybe I should become a criminal then, that sounds like more fun than working a nine-to-five. Are they letting women in the Wind Dragons yet?”

  They ignore my rant.

  “I don’t think you should walk away at all,” Dad finally speaks, looking at Mom. “What do you think, Faye? I’m thinking they have a plan, and we need to find out what that plan fuckin’ is, because no one, and I mean no one, gets away with trying to use my daughter.”

  “We don’t know that they have a plan,” I reply, puffing out a breath. “We don’t know anything; we’re just making assumptions here.”

  “We can wait and see what happens,” Mom replies, studying me. “We don’t have to make a move until they do, so we know what we’re dealing with.”

  I hate that things have to be like this. “So what if they do have a plan? I just become a spy for the people I originally wanted to work for but are now apparently playing me?”

  I don’t know what to think. My parents aren’t stupid, and this sure as hell isn’t their first rodeo, however, maybe not everyone has an ulterior motive.

  “You should have come to me,” Mom says again. “Now we have this mess to deal with. The worst part is you lying, Clover. We have always trusted your word, and now that trust is broken.”

  I cover my face with my hands. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you that this is what I wanted to do. I’m not cut out for a desk job, Mom. I want to be out in the action, I want to help people, and I want to make a difference. I want to show everyone that women can be strong in the same ways that men are, and in different ways. I don’t know, okay? I knew you weren’t going to like it, but I did it anyway. That’s how badly I wanted it.”

  Dad sits next to me and pulls me against him for a hug. He is my safe place, and I close my eyes and allow his strength to sink into me. “I wouldn’t have loved it, you’re right, but I would have respected what you wanted to do. I wish you’d been honest, Clover. We could have told you from the start that there’s no way they’d not know who you are and planned accordingly. But now we are behind.”

  “I know,” I whisper, regret filling me. “But I can’t change it now, so I just need to deal with it.”

  “Give us a little more credit than that next time,” Mom mutters, winking at me. She sits down on the other side of me and hugs what’s left of me. “We love you, Clover. We’re not here to judge your decisions, just to help guide you. I’m sorry that you felt like you couldn’t come to us with this. There are good cops out there—they aren’t all corrupt—and the world needs more. I know you’d be the best cop this city has ever seen, but when you come from a family like ours, things aren’t as easy as that, and you have to be on your game all the time, watching your back.”

  “I feel so stupid,” I admit, sighing. “I put in all this effort and time. I gave everything, Mom. And now it feels like it was all a waste.”

  “It wasn’t a waste,” Dad disagrees, making a sound of amusement in his throat. “They taught a Black everything a cop is meant to know. If you weren’t a weapon before, Clover, you are now. And they created that.”

  He makes a good point. I was the cream of the crop and had a very bright future ahead of me.

  “Is there anything else you want to tell us?” Dad asks, watching me closely.

  “I think I’ve fallen in love with a cop,” I blurt out, glancing between the two of them.

  Dad scrubs a hand down his face, probably wondering where he went wrong with me, while Mom simply asks, “Which one?”

  “Felix Banks,” I mutter, glancing down at my hands.

  “The one with the blue eyes and dimples?” she asks, nodding in agreement. “He is one good-looking kid. And talented, from what I’ve heard. They’re going to promote him soon.”

  Dad scowls at her, lips tightening to slits. “That’s all you have to say about our daughter dating a fuckin’ cop? That he’s good-fucking-looking? I don’t care if he looks like . . .” He trails off, assumingly thinking of someone good-looking, which makes me laugh, while Mom suggests, “a cleaned-up version of Jason Momoa?”

  “Whoever,” he grumbles, blue eyes flashing. “He’s not good enough for our Clover.”

  “A good-looking guy with a hero complex isn’t good enough for our daughter? I saw him watching her during that raid. I don’t miss a thing.”

  “I can’t believe you’re okay with this, Faye. A fuckin’ cop,” he continues to rant, shaking his head.

  Mom casually shrugs, her auburn hair bouncing. “Considering everything, it’s not really the biggest issue, is it? Felix isn’t the enemy here; it’s whoever allowed Clover into the program knowing who she is. Felix is obviously someone she trusts.” She turns to me. “Right? So what does he think about the whole thing?”

  I clear my throat. “Well, the thing is . . . you see . . .”

  Mom puts her hand up, stopping me. “He doesn’t know? Oh, Clover.”

  “No, he knows, as of yesterday. But it’s a little more complicated than that. We haven’t actually spoken since then, so I don’t know where his loyalties lie, and his dad was a cop, who was killed by . . .” I take a deep breath, pausing before I say the word. “Bikers, and—”

  “What a clusterfuck,” she interrupts, scrubbing her hand down her face. Mom turns to Dad and winces. “Who killed his cop father?”

  “Why are you asking me? I don’t even know who this man is,” Dad grumbles, pulling out his phone and pretending to play on it.

  “I don’t know any more information about it,” I tell them, wrapping my arms around myself. “I didn’t want to ask, because I wasn’t sure if I really wanted to know. I mean I know the Wind Dragons don’t go around killing people, but I’ve heard some stories from your days, Dad, and well . . . I mean with what happened with Uncle Irish . . .”

  “Leave it with me,” Mom assures me, cupping the side of my face. “Let me worry about it. You need to go and speak with Felix though, I mean if you really want to pursue something with him. And I want to officially meet him.”

  “I didn’t know if he would ever be welcome among us,” I say sheepishly.

  “With me there? Nothing will happen. The men wouldn’t think to do otherwise.” Mom smirks, turning to Dad and narrowing her eyes. “Just because they’re bikers doesn’t mean they have to be rude. Felix hasn’t done anything wrong, and until he does, don’t worry about the men. I’ll handle them too. You just worry about yourself, and this world of lies you’ve created. I have to say, Clo, if a man had lied to me like that, I don’t know if I’d want to trust him again.”

  She’s right.

  If the roles were reversed I don’t know if I’d give him a second chance either.

  All I want is for him to hear me out and give me a second chance to prove to him that I am someone he can trust.

  I’m loyal.

  And I’m perfect for him.

  I just need him to see that.

  “We made Officer Black your partner for a reason, Felix. We trust you and know what a great officer you are, just like your father. He was an amazing cop, and he died a hero. I have many fond memories with him, and of you too. I remember you all would come over for barbecues and your mom would make her amazing macaroni and cheese.”

  “She does make a good mac and cheese,” Felix says with a laugh.

  “We kept in contact with you through the years, and you have proven that you’re someone we can trust and rely on. We aren’t so sure we feel the same way about Officer Black, and we’d like you to keep a close eye on her,” I hear him say.

  Gritting my teeth, I step away from the office and head to my locker. I don’t hear what Felix says in return, but whether he speaks to me about what Officer Jones is saying to him is going to be a tell. If he tells me, his loyalty lies with me, and if not? I guess it lies with the force. Which, when y
ou think about it, is understandable. This is his career on the line too, and I’m making it all about me. Still, there is something between us. If I walk away from the force, does that mean I’ll have to walk away from Felix too? Is it an all-or-nothing thing? The thought makes me sad, but after overhearing those words it’s clear that my parents are right. The police know who I am and don’t trust me, yet they clearly need me for something. They’re using me as a tool, without caring what it does to me.

  And somehow I’m the bad guy in this situation.

  Maybe the line between good and bad is thinner than everyone thinks, because everyone seems to be gray, instead of black or white. All the bikers I know have been nothing but good to me, and that’s my world. I don’t know how the cops justify treating me differently when I haven’t done anything wrong to any of them. I’ve never done anything illegal or committed any crimes other than using a fake ID. I’ve never been in prison. I’ve never hurt anyone. All I did was be born with the last name Black, and I’m deemed already guilty and untrustworthy. I send Mom a quick message telling her what I overheard to keep her in the loop, then get ready for my shift. I need to get my head in the game and act like everything is fine. I’m still here, doing this job, and I need to do it well.

  I need to prove them all wrong.

  The fucked-up thing is that at this stage, I shouldn’t have to.

  Things were annoyingly normal during my first shift with Felix since he’s learned the truth. We were polite and cordial to each other, but it was awkward. After our shift ended, we changed out of our uniforms and headed for a drive.

  “I’m happy you’re my partner,” I say, glancing over at him. “But are you still . . . I mean, do you still want me? Or has that changed?”

  He reaches over and touches my thigh. “Fuck’s sake, Clo, you know how I feel about you. I’m falling in—I care about you, all right? And I’m not happy you lied to me, but that doesn’t change my feelings. I guess I just needed a little time to process everything, and yeah, wonder if I can handle everything that you come with.”

  Was he about to say that he’s falling in love with me?

  Why didn’t he say it?

  I guess with our current situation, I’d be unsure about it too. Still, I can’t help the emotion that fills me at his almost declaration.

  This is huge.

  Felix Banks is falling in love with me. As me, Clover Black, biker princess slash outcast, the same Clover who dresses a little goth at times, is as stubborn as they come, and has a mouth that would test anyone’s temper.

  Even after knowing where I come from, he’s still here with me.

  “That’s fair,” I say with hesitance, since I have no idea what he’s going to say next.

  “I’m not going to give up on you so easily, Clover. There’s something about you, I told you that. You have this zest for life that is just addicting, you don’t give a shit what people—other than your family—think, and you can kick a guy’s butt twice your size. Let me tell you right now, there is only one Clover Black, and I’m not letting her get away.”

  My eyes start to get a little watery. Someone must be cooking with onions, or something must have gotten into my eye, maybe a dust particle? I don’t know.

  “That speech was meant to make you happy,” Felix announces, parking the car and leaning toward me. “Come here.”

  He gives me a quick kiss. “We need to work on our communication skills, but that doesn’t mean I don’t want you, all right? It will never mean that I don’t want you.”

  “I feel the same way, Felix,” I say, grabbing his face with my hands and leaning in for a deeper, longer, hungrier kiss.

  “You better,” he whispers against my lips. “Fuck, you drive me crazy, Clo. You have no idea. Actually, it’s a good thing you have no idea, because otherwise you could use it against me.”

  I smile and move back.

  “You know we have to keep this a secret for now, right? We’re partners, and I outrank you,” he adds.

  “I know,” I admit, thinking of how we need to change how we interact with each other in public.

  “I’ve known of partners dating, but it creates tension. But with you being a rookie and me possibly up for promotion, there’s an extra layer of pressure. Nobody can know right now,” he says, not looking happy about the fact.

  The conversation I overheard with Officer Jones eats at me, but if I want to be with Felix and trust him, I need to let him tell me in his own time.

  “Maybe there’s some kind of loophole?” I suggest, sounding hopeful even to my own ears.

  “I don’t think so. It’s unprofessional.”

  He glances down at his crotch. “This is also unprofessional.”

  I look at his bulge, stretching against his pants, my eyes widening.

  “Well, that is distracting. How fast can we make it to your place?” I ask, licking my lips.

  “Let’s find out,” he replies.

  ELEVEN

  “SO everything is still normal at work?” Mom asks me when I get to her house for dinner. She invited Cara and Rhett to join us, just like the old days. It was so worth the drive.

  “Yeah,” I say, cutting my steak and smothering the piece in mashed potatoes. “Nothing unusual. I’ve just been patrolling, and there has been nothing MC-related that has come up.”

  It’s almost like I’ve gotten away with being who I am and a cop, like I have my cake and can eat it too. Maybe everyone else is being a little paranoid about the whole thing. Or maybe they are just biding their time. Either way, I’m going to do this job the best way I know how.

  I don’t tell them how much I’m loving the job, because I don’t want to hear about how they know it’s all going to come crumbling down very soon. I don’t want to think about that. I especially don’t want to hear a chorus of “I told you so.”

  “And what about this Felix guy? You get rid of him yet?” Dad asks, blue eyes narrowing on me with a hopeful glint in them. “You know I had to stop Arrow from tracking him down and kicking his ass, right?”

  “You don’t need Arrow,” Rhett says, smirking. “Say the word, and I’m on it.”

  “You had to stop Arrow, or yourself?” Mom asks him, scowling. “Don’t pin that one on Arrow, Dex.” She turns to me. “I found your father speaking to Arrow and Tracker, asking them for advice on whether he should break Felix’s arm or his leg.” She then turns to Rhett, and adds, “And don’t you start either. You’d never do something that would hurt Clover in the end.”

  My mouth opens. “Dad! Are you kidding me right now?”

  My dad is out of control.

  I know that Mom is the one thing holding him back. Without her, Felix would probably be dead, or worse, right now.

  “He doesn’t fit in with us, Clo. He will never be accepted here. And he’s going to try to take you away from us, I just know it, and I’ll kill the bastard if he even tries,” he states, then softens his tone. “I’m sure one day you’d forgive me for it. Rhett mentioned that Luke is dying to take you out, why don’t you accept? You might realize that it’s much easier to be with someone like the men you’re used to.”

  I purse my lips, anger filling me. I cannot believe that I’ve entered the eighteenth century. What is this, an arranged marriage? I cannot believe my father thinks he has a say over who I date.

  “Felix has done nothing wrong, Dad! At least give him a chance before you plan to take off any of his limbs. I wear the same uniform as he does, and I’m sitting right here, so what’s the difference between me and him? You can’t tell me who to like. He means something to me.”

  Mom shoots daggers at Dad. “She’s a grown woman, Dex, stop acting overprotective. Clover is old enough to make her own decisions.”

  He gestures to me. “No, she’s not. This is what we get when she makes her own decisions. A cop, dating a cop. Nope. From now on, I’m making all the calls in this family. Even Asher wants to come home now because of everything going on here. And if he does
, this Felix kid really is dead.”

  “As if you’ve never made any mistakes, Dad,” I fire back. “This is why I don’t tell you anything, because you act like this. Can you blame me? Let me make my own mistakes, and stop being so condescending. I know I’ve messed up with the force, okay? You don’t need to rub it in. But, Dad, Felix is not a mistake. He’s the best thing that’s come out of this.”

  The truth is, if they were going to hurt Felix, they would have done it by now. Mom won’t let any of the men go near him, and I’m thankful.

  “Maybe you should invite him over for dinner,” Mom adds, shrugging when we all give her an Are you insane? look. “What? If you’re serious about him, he should probably know what he’s getting into. Let’s test him. If he can’t handle it, then he’s not the one.”

  “This isn’t a game, Mom. This is my damn heart on the line here. I’ve fallen in love with this guy. I don’t want to test him; it’s a little late for that.”

  “Do you want everyone to accept him or not? You can’t keep him hidden forever, Clover. If you love him like you claim to, and if he’s going to be with you, he has to accept who you are, and that means accepting your family, scary men and all.”

  “It’s not him who isn’t doing the accepting.” I scowl, looking toward my dad. “Just give him a chance, that’s all I want. And I don’t think it’s too much to ask. He’s a good man, Dad. Thank you for not hurting him, but I’m going to need a little bit more from you.”

  “I’ve never seen Clover like a guy this much,” Cara adds, always having my back, even if she hasn’t met the guy herself yet. “And I stalked his social media. Easy on the eyes is putting it mildly.”