Fallen Princess

by Chantal Fernando

  I start to get dressed. “Can we talk about this tomorrow?”

  He nods.

  I leave, feeling terrible.

  I’ve really fucked things up this time.

  NINE

  “WAIT a second, if I crack open this beer in front of you, are you going to arrest me?” Nate asks, brows rising. “If you do, I feel like my parents wouldn’t like that much, so please let me know,” the little shit says, a six-pack of beers in his hand. Nate is all but sixteen, and Uncle Arrow and Aunt Anna’s kid. He’s a menace wrapped up in good looks and a smart mouth and is basically a younger cousin to me. I heard he’s been getting into trouble in school and been a general pain in the ass, and for some reason when I came by to see Mom after she summoned me, he was in their backyard, sitting at our outdoor patio, about to get drunk.

  “Why are you here?” I ask him, blinking slowly a few times. “Alone. Where are your parents?”

  “They’re all having a group meeting about you going to the dark side,” he lets me know. “And it’s at my house, so they kicked me out and sent me to your parents’ place.”

  I came here ready to face the cavalry, but they’re not even here.

  “Where’s Tory?” I ask, referring to his sister.

  “She’s at one of her friends’ houses.” He shrugs. “So yay or nay for the alcohol?”

  “I’m off duty,” I reply, smirking. I hate that this is even an issue. I’m not going to arrest some kid for sneaking a drink in a private residence.

  He grins and starts to get busy, pulling out the first bottle.

  “Do your parents know you drink?” I ask him, narrowing my eyes. “Are they going to kill me for allowing this?”

  “It’s not funny to make killing jokes about Dad when he actually did time for killing someone,” Nate replies.

  I have no idea how Uncle Arrow doesn’t kill him.

  “Are they really having some meeting about me?” I ask, wishing I could be a fly on the wall right now. Are they going to tell me I have to leave the force?

  “Yeah, you know how they like to plan, divide, and conquer. They’ll pool together all their contacts and talents and come up with some epic plan to make sure nothing happens to you and to destroy whoever this month’s enemy is,” he replies casually, taking his first sip.

  I have to laugh at his explanation, because it’s true. “Man, you know this family well.”

  “I should, they are that far up my ass,” he responds in a dry, sarcastic tone.

  My soft laughter turns to cackling. “Ah, Nate. You’re the reason I don’t plan on having any children.”

  “Happy to play my part,” he says with a salute, brown eyes amused. “Especially since you’ve taken the heat off me. No one cares about my getting suspended from school now because all anyone can talk about is how the princess has fallen to the dark side.”

  You know you grow up with bikers when being a police officer is the “dark side.”

  “Happy to help, Nate,” I reply, pursing my lips. “I had hoped Rhett and Cara finally getting together would still be a hot topic, but nope, you’re right. I’m stealing everyone’s thunder right now.”

  “Yeah, but don’t worry, maybe one of the girls will get knocked up or something,” he says with a grin. “Or I could knock someone up, if that would help.”

  I cringe, shaking my head. “Too far, Nate. You always take it too far. And you better not be having sex, never mind knocking someone up. Don’t ruin your life, kid.”

  He lifts his hands up in surrender. “It was a joke. I always use protection; don’t worry. I’m not stupid. I’m going to lead the MC someday, I don’t need anyone holding me back.”

  I decide not to even comment on that one.

  Fuck it.

  “Give me one of those.”

  He smiles evilly as I prolong my walk of shame.

  “Did you get invited to the ‘bitch about Clover’s decisions’ session?” I ask Rhett when I see him and Cara for dinner later that night. I wanted to eat, have a drink, and gossip, so we all met at my favorite pub. After summoning me, Mom never even showed up at home. That’s not a good sign, because she’s usually a punctual person. Maybe she’s still talking Dad down from disowning me.

  “Yeah I did,” he admits, cringing. “I kind of had to. And it wasn’t a ‘bitch about Clover session,’ it was more of a ‘how are we going to bail her out when shit goes south’ type thing.”

  “What do you mean ‘goes south’? Now that they know, what could happen?” I ask him, pursing my lips.

  “Maybe because there’s no way in hell the cops don’t know who you are? That was the main topic of discussion. They do fucking background checks, Clo. This whole time I thought you’d given some fake name with some expensive-ass fake ID and backstory. You are one of the smartest people I know, but that was fucking stupid.”

  This is the second person to mention this to me, and internally I’m starting to panic a bit. I really did not think this through.

  “If they’d had a problem with me, they wouldn’t have accepted me,” I suggest, scowling and trying to save face. “Maybe I flew under the radar. Or maybe they just checked Mom’s history and it shows she’s a lawyer and works for the FBI too.”

  “With biker ties. That doesn’t go unnoticed. With your mom they allow it because she’s Aunt Faye. She’s one of a kind. You’re a Black. Blacks don’t fly under the radar.”

  Shit.

  I share a glance with Cara. “Why didn’t I think of this?”

  “I don’t know,” she replies, cringing. “I think we were both too busy planning how to get away with it instead of questioning it.”

  She’s right, we were.

  “I had no idea you were walking around here repping your real name. Clover isn’t a common name. Your beauty isn’t common either. You can’t pretend to be some normal girl. You aren’t normal. You’re Clover Black, and you’re a Wind Dragon, through and through. That blood of yours is as pure as it gets, and as much as I hate to admit it, I don’t think the police are that stupid to just let you slide through without knowing exactly who you are.”

  My eyes close as my mind races. I’ve been living in some dreamland apparently, my head in the clouds, because everything he’s saying makes perfect sense. Why didn’t I use a fake name? I could have. But then I would have had to have told Mom, who’s the one to go to for fake paperwork.

  Fuck.

  Not that it matters now, because she knows everything anyway. I should have known better than to think I could ever one-up Faye Black.

  “This makes no sense, they should have just rejected my application then,” I say, looking right at him. “What am I supposed to do now, with all of this? I’m finally getting to the place I’ve always wanted to be, and I love what I do.”

  “I don’t know, but it fuckin’ worries me. What if the cops are trying to set you up or something? We’ll all have to flee the damn country,” Rhett grumbles, shaking his head.

  “How would they set me up?” I ask him, looking to Cara. “What do you think?”

  “Who knows what they could be planning,” she replies, a worried look in her eyes. “The truth is you are an asset to the force, and maybe when they see that . . . I don’t know. Maybe they want your insider information? Or someone who thinks like a biker?”

  “All I know is that they’re playing with fire,” Rhett adds, scowling and shaking his head. “You have a whole MC at your back, just waiting to jump in and protect you. Unless they want enemies for life, they’d better tread carefully.”

  “You’re being dramatic. I’m not going to prison,” I state, eyes narrowing. “I still have too much I want to do with my life. I haven’t appeared in a Drake video yet; I haven’t won a women’s boxing competition. I haven’t adopted and saved a few pit bulls from the pound. And I’ve had sex only once. I’d like to do it again at some point.”

  And with Felix.

  Cara’s eyes widen to the size of saucers, as she slaps the tab
le. “I knew it! Finally! How was it? What’s been happening with Felix?”

  Rhett just rolls his eyes.

  “It was amazing, and I told him the truth about everything yesterday, but I haven’t heard from him since. I guess it’s kind of a lot to take in.” I cringe, wrapping my arms around myself.

  “Did you ever think that instead of waiting for him to contact you first, you should reach out?” Cara asks, studying me. “You’re the one who fucked up, so you’re the one who has to do the hard work to mend things; that’s how it works, Clo.”

  “Now you’re a professional on relationships?” I ask her, frowning, even though she does make sense. Dammit, I hate it when I’m in the wrong. “Fine. I’ll send him a message asking if we can talk. I miss the times when you were as useless as me.”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll only bring you up with me,” she says, grinning.

  I type out a message and hit SEND.

  “There,” I say out loud, watching the screen. Little dots appear, letting me know that he’s typing, but then nothing ever comes through.

  Did he just type something and delete it?

  “He started typing, then nothing,” I tell them.

  Cara winces. “Well, at least you made the first move.”

  “He’s ignoring me.”

  “Maybe he’s busy and will reply later,” she offers.

  “It takes two seconds to type out a message,” I disagree.

  “Maybe he’s thinking about what to say.”

  “You two are like an old married couple,” Rhett muses, looking between the two of us.

  “And you two are like a recently married couple.” I smirk, looking around for a waitress who will likely bring me alcohol. “Imagine if I show up for work tomorrow hungover? That would be the lowest of lows.”

  “Maybe they’ll fire you. It would actually solve all the problems you have right now,” Rhett suggests, looking like he’s really considering making this the new plan.

  “It won’t solve the Felix problem.”

  “Get rid of him. I’ll set you up with someone much better suited to you.” Rhett rubs his hands together with a half-evil, half-mischievous look on his face.

  I roll my eyes. Rhett has no idea, and I know he means well, but he can be such a Neanderthal at times.

  “You don’t care about who is suited to me, you just want me with a biker. I’ve been around bikers my whole life. I want something different. Opposites attract for me. I don’t want to be with the male version of myself, we’d kill each other.”

  “I think we should trust she knows who is right for her,” Cara inserts, disagreeing with her man. “I like the sound of this guy, and I haven’t even met him. They just need to sort this shit out. It’s not an easy thing that’s happened between them; no one likes being lied to. It’s the trust factor. If you don’t have trust, then there’s going to be huge problems. At the same time, if he can’t see who Clover really is under all that shit she puts out, he’s also an idiot. Because there’s only one you, Clo, and we know how amazing you are.”

  “I feel like you’re biased, but thank you anyway,” I say, smiling. “I love you guys, you know that, right? You had my back, even though I was being shady, and yeah, just thank you, both.”

  “What are friends for, right?”

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to hook you up with Luke? He’s been commenting on how hot you are,” Rhett inserts, a hopeful expression on his face.

  “Luke can be plan B,” Cara suggests, flashing me a wide-eyed look that clearly says Luke is no catch. “Plan A is patching things with Felix.”

  “Are you sure that’s what you want to do?” Rhett asks, tone turning angry as he looks at something straight ahead. “Because isn’t that the bastard right over there?”

  My head snaps in the direction he’s looking, and he’s right.

  Felix is here, having dinner.

  With a woman. She’s petite, blond, and dressed in all white, giving her an ethereal vibe. I glance down at my black dress and leather knee-high boots. She’s the complete opposite of me.

  I wish I could say that in this moment I can keep my calm and act like a mature adult, but I can’t.

  I see red.

  I stand up, only to have Cara grab my hand and pull me back down. “Making a scene isn’t going to win him over. We don’t even know who this chick is, so you don’t need to go all Xena: Warrior Princess on him. Oh boy. He’s so fuckin’ hot,” she says, eyes going wide as she covers her cheeks with her hands and I realize that this is the first time she is seeing him and that Rhett got to meet him before she did. “I can see why he has you going crazy.”

  “If he’s seriously on a date right now, I don’t want his stupid ass anyway,” I grit out, teeth clenched. I’m more upset than I’d care to admit, the thought of him maybe being done with me is too much to bear.

  “Don’t jump to conclusions—”

  I’m beyond the point where I’m going to listen to any rational comments. I need to find out what he’s doing here and who he’s with. I slide out of the booth and walk over to his table. Half of me wants to leave it alone, to act like I didn’t see him and to not make a scene. To hold my head up high and pretend that I don’t care, that it’s not affecting me. But you know what? If he actually is on a date right now, then we’re done, so I might as well go out with a bang.

  He sees me before I make it over to his table, his blue eyes bulging and his jaw dropping open.

  “Clover, what are you doing here?” he asks me as I get closer. He doesn’t sound angry or worried, more confused.

  “This is my local hangout when I’m home,” I point out.

  He knows this, because I told him all about how my friends and I always come here, and if he plays dumb I’m going to call his ass out on it. I’ve been coming to Riley’s ever since it opened up, using my fake ID when necessary.

  “It’s mine too,” the woman he’s with says, smiling at me. Apparently she doesn’t understand the trouble she’s in right now. “I came here last time I was here and loved it, so I asked Felix to come back with me.”

  I narrow my eyes on her. “Yes, it’s a great place. I’m Clover.”

  “Bella,” she says back with a smile.

  The name sounds familiar.

  I turn to Felix and wait for him to give me some sort of explanation.

  “Oh,” Felix mutters, as if just realizing he has a fucking explanation to give me. “Clover, this is my cousin Bella. Remember I told you she was coming to visit for a week?”

  “Oh,” I whisper, feeling a little sheepish but relieved that the woman is his family. I do remember him telling me something along those lines. I was supposed to go with him and meet her.

  “You think I’d go on a date with someone else right now?” he asks, hurt and disbelief flashing in his eyes. I can’t even answer him, because he’s right. I handled him and this situation all wrong.

  “Do you want to sit down and join us?” Bella asks, obviously feeling a little uncomfortable and trying to ease the situation.

  “Oh, no, but thank you. I hope you enjoy your time here, Bella,” I say to her with an apologetic smile. I turn to Felix and add, “Maybe we could have a chat soon?”

  He nods.

  I say good-bye to them both, then return to my table.

  “What happened?” Rhett asks as I sit down, now much calmer. “I thought there was going to be a little more action than that.”

  “It’s his cousin,” I tell them, cringing.

  When did I become this person?

  “Good thing you didn’t punch first, then ask questions later,” Cara mutters, sinking lower in her seat. “I told you not to jump to conclusions.”

  “I didn’t; she’s alive, isn’t she?” Internally, I know that I need to figure out a way to make it up to Felix. It’s no wonder I’ve never been in a relationship before.

  Rhett chuckles at that, shaking his head. “How I’ve missed you, Clover. I haven’t had drama li
ke this in years.”

  “Happy to be of service,” I grumble, then order another round of drinks.

  When Mom calls me though, telling me to get my ass back home, fun and games are over. When she uses that tone, there’s only one thing I can do.

  I go home.

  I feel Felix’s gaze on me as I leave, but I don’t look back.

  One problem at a time.

  TEN

  MY parents are sitting at the dining table when I walk inside, and if I thought facing Mom was bad, it has nothing on looking at my dad.

  “I can explain,” I say, sitting down opposite them and taking a deep breath. “Actually I can’t, there’s no excuse. I’ve been a total idiot, and I’ve been selfish and followed my dreams instead of thinking how it would impact my family. I’m sorry, Mom, and I’m sorry, Dad.”

  “What you should have done was be honest,” Mom states, pursing her lips. “I have no idea why you lied and tried to hide this, Clover. Why didn’t you feel you could come to me?”

  “I just felt like no one would understand,” I try to explain. “And everyone would try to talk me out of it. I did this for me, Mom, not for anyone else. I just felt like I would make a really great cop and I was right. It didn’t have anything to do with anyone else. I realize how selfish that sounds when I say it out loud, but I never wanted to hurt anyone.” I duck my head. “Especially you, Dad. I never wanted to disappoint you or upset you. And now I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

  Would I leave the force for them?

  Yes.

  Would I want to?

  No.

  “I can understand why you didn’t want Dad to know, but not me,” Mom carries on, shrugging at Dad when he scowls at her. “You know I have your back in all things, Clover. I’m sure Rhett has told you what we spoke about today at the Wind Dragons meeting. They do extensive background searches on all potential police officers, and if they let you in, it wasn’t by accident. They know who you are, and they obviously want you for a reason. I don’t know what it is yet, but you can’t trust them.”

  The reality of the situation I’ve put myself in hits me full force. I behaved like a stubborn child wanting her independence and managed to make a huge fuck up on the way. Maybe it’s because I know I have so many people at my back that I don’t think about consequences when I want something. I know that that’s not a good quality or one that I’m proud of. It’s self-centered, and that’s not something I want to be anymore. Confident is one thing, egotistical is another.