Blackbird Fly

by Willow Rose

  A blackbird flew in and sat on the windowsill. E.T. wrinkled her nose, then shooed it away, a shiver running down her spine.

  "I hate birds," she mumbled as she watched it fly away. "I hate those little bastards with their flapping wings and staring eyes."

  Chapter 9

  Fort Lauderdale, November 2004

  At the age of two years. Anna hardly flickered anymore. It was only rarely in her sleep that Julia saw her do it, and since she had now gotten so used to it, it didn't worry her much anymore.

  "She’ll grow out of it, one day, completely," Andrew had said, and he seemed to be right.

  Igoshi came to visit at least once a month, and she and Anna seemed to grow very fond of each other, connecting in a way Julia never could with her girl. It didn't make her jealous or anything; no, on the contrary, she was happy for Anna that she got to know her roots and still have a connection with the rez. She hoped that Igoshi would still be here when Anna was older, so she could teach her about their culture and ways.

  Andrew, on the other hand, did all he could to cut himself free from the ties of the reservation and his Indian culture. He kept his hair short, wore a tie to work, hung out with the professors at the university and discussed politics, and especially this year’s election.

  Julia didn't care much about politics or Bush versus Kerry, not just because they had never cared much about it when growing up on the reservation. They had their own elections, their own leaders, tribal courts, and law. No, it was more because of what it spurred in the men debating it, and especially how it affected Andrew. Nothing could get him more agitated and it had Julia worried. She didn't understand his need to be so involved or to pretend to be someone he wasn't.

  So, when he had his professor-friends over this first Tuesday in November for an election night dinner, Julia spent most of the evening in the kitchen, hiding from them and their vivid discussions about foreign policy and what was most important. Anna was sitting in the high chair in the kitchen, eating potatoes cut into small pieces, singing something Julia hadn't heard before.

  "That's pretty," Julia said and cut up some more potato for her, then placed the pieces on the girl's plate. "I don't think I know that song."

  "Beat-les!" Anna exclaimed, throwing out both of her small arms in excitement.

  Julia chuckled. "It's The Beatles?"

  "Yes, Beat-les," Anna repeated, grabbed another piece of potato, and stuffed it into her mouth. Julia had tried to teach her to use her spoon, but Anna refused every time. Tonight, she didn't want to try and force her again. There were enough angry voices in the house as it was. Besides, it was Andrew who was so keen on teaching Anna to use silverware when eating instead of her fingers. Julia didn't think there was any rush. She would learn eventually. She was, after all, still only two.

  "How do you know about The Beatles?" Julia said laughing lightly, sounding a lot like a proud mother. She was, of course. The neighbor's kid who was the same age hadn't said a word yet and her daughter talked about The Beatles—and apparently sang their songs. "I have never played you anything by them?"

  "Con-cer," Anna said, speaking with potato in her mouth.

  Julia wrinkled her forehead. "Concert? They did a concert? On TV? Did you see them on TV?"

  Anna shook her head with a deep sigh like her mother needed to catch up a little faster. Julia chuckled again. Anna was very impatient at times, which she guessed was normal for a kid her age.

  "Then where did you see their concert, Anna, and hear that song?"

  Anna looked at her mother, then smiled. "Nanna take me to con-cer."

  "You want Nanna to take you to a concert with The Beatles? That might be a little hard." Julia laughed.

  Andrew came out in the kitchen looking for something. When he saw Anna, he went to her and kissed her forehead. "Anna is singing The Beatles now," Julia said proudly.

  "Well, what do you know?" Andrew said. He looked at Julia. "Do we have more wine?"

  Julia sighed. "More wine? Don't you think you and your friends have had enough? Are they staying all night?"

  "This is election night, Jules, it's important." Andrew went to the cabinet and pulled out another bottle, then opened it.

  "She sang a song I have never heard before and said it was by The Beatles. Have you played her Beatles songs?"

  He shrugged. "She could have heard it on the radio, maybe in the car."

  Julia nodded. "Still pretty impressive that she can remember it, don't you think?"

  Andrew chuckled. "I know you want your little princess to be oh-so-special, but I think it's pretty normal Jules; now, if you'll excuse me, people are waiting."

  "Who's winning?” Julia asked. Not that she cared much, but was trying to show interest in what occupied her husband and maybe get him to talk to her for a little longer.

  It was Anna who answered. "John Ker-ry!"

  They both looked at their daughter and then laughed. Andrew kissed her again. "No, Anna, I really don't think so. Bush will win tonight, again."

  Andrew grabbed the door handle, still laughing. "John Kerry, tsk."

  Chapter 10

  Fort Lauderdale, July 2006

  They were woken up by her screams. Julia gasped and looked at Andrew. "Anna," he said and jumped out of bed. He ran to her room.

  Anna wasn't in her bed. She was sitting in the corner of the room, squatting, arms covering her head, screaming.

  "Anna," Andrew said and turned on the lights in the room. "Anna, what's going on?"

  She didn't stop screaming. The screams were deep and intense. It made Andrew feel uneasy.

  "She's still sleeping," Julia said, coming up behind him.

  Andrew walked to his four-year-old and kneeled next to her. "Anna, sweetie. You're dreaming. Wake up."

  "No, no, no," she screamed. "Please, it hurts, PLEASE!"

  "Wake her up, Andrew," Julia said anxiously. "She's in pain."

  "Easy now, it's just a nightmare," Andrew said. He grabbed her wrists. "Anna, sweetie, you have to wake up."

  "She's shaking, Andrew. Look at her. Wake her up."

  Andrew looked up at his wife. “What do you think I’m doing here? I’m trying the best I can."

  "No. No. NO!" Anna screamed and squirmed.

  "ANNA!" Andrew yelled.

  Anna opened her eyes with a gasp. "Dad?"

  Andrew sighed. "Anna, sweetie. You had a bad dream. It's over now."

  Anna was crying and threw herself into her father's arms. Andrew held her tight. He could feel her heart beating fast underneath her princess PJs.

  "Are you all right, Anna?" Julia asked.

  "She's fine," Andrew said, annoyed with his wife's constant worrying. “It was nothing but a nightmare. I used to have them all the time when I was a kid."

  Julia nodded with an exhale.

  "I want Nanna," Anna said.

  Andrew let go of her. "What do you mean? Nanna is all the way at the rez, you know that."

  "I want my Nanna, I want my Nanna, I want my Nanna," Anna cried.

  "Well, you can't have her. It's in the middle of the night," Andrew said angrily.

  That pushed Anna into a regular fit. She threw herself on the floor, banging her clenched fists onto the floor, screaming and calling for her Nanna to come.

  "What the heck is this?" Andrew said, looking accusatorily at his wife.

  Julia shrugged. "I…I don't know. Should I call her and ask?"

  Andrew rubbed his head, and then looked at his daughter. He really didn't believe in giving in to his daughter like this, but he also had an important lecture tomorrow, plus that faculty meeting, and he really needed his sleep.

  "All right," he said. "I'll call her. But only this one time. Don't let it become a habit, you hear?"

  Andrew grabbed his cell and found the number. Igoshi picked up immediately. "Andrew?"

  "We need you; well, Anna needs you. She's calling for you and won't calm down. Could you please help us? Please?"

  Chapter 11


  Fort Lauderdale, July 2006

  Igoshi arrived less than twenty minutes later. Anna was still screaming upstairs, Julia holding her in her arms, trying to comfort her when Igoshi entered.

  Julia let out a sigh of relief and her eyes thanked the old woman as she came closer. "Thank you for coming. I’m sorry to wake you up like this…"

  But Igoshi wasn't listening; she reached out her hands and touched Anna. Anna stopped screaming and looked up.

  "Nanna!"

  Anna threw herself into her grandmother's arms. Julia felt a pinch in her heart. It was wonderful that the girl stopped crying, but she couldn't help feeling a little rejected. How come her grandmother could do what her mother couldn't?

  Igoshi wiped Anna's tears away. "Now, tell me what happened?"

  "Nanna, it was aw-ful. Oh, it was scary, so s-ca-ry."

  They turned their backs on Julia and went to sit on the bed. They spoke in low voices, almost whispering to one another, and Julia soon felt left out. She walked outside to give them privacy. Andrew came to her and she hid in his arms. "Why doesn't she want to talk to me?" she said.

  Andrew sighed. Through the crack in the door, they could see Anna and her grandmother sitting on the bed, engaged in a very deep talk. Julia felt such deep jealousy, but also deep worry.

  "What are they talking about?" she asked and looked up at Andrew.

  He shook his head. "I don't know. But I don't like it. They're getting too close. It's not good for Anna."

  "What do you mean?"

  "She's filling her with all these stories. All the nonsense. This is the third time this week that Anna has had a nightmare. It's scaring her. All the superstition. Look at them. She’s just filling her head with more nonsense, isn't she?"

  Julia looked at the two of them. She had never had talks this long with Anna about anything. Why wouldn't she tell her mother what her dream was about? Why only her Nanna?

  "I guess they have a special bond," she said. "I mean, it's better to have someone who can comfort her than no one, right? She is, after all, her grandmother."

  Andrew shook his head. "She wouldn't be having those nightmares in the first place if it wasn't for my mother. I’m sick of this."

  "So, what are you saying?" Julia asked.

  "I think we need to stop them from seeing each other. At least for a little while, till the nightmares stop."

  "What if they don't stop?"

  "Then we take her to a doctor, maybe a therapist or something. Take all those scary stories out of her."

  Julia cleared her throat. She had grown up listening to the stories from her own grandmother. Stories were such an important part of who they were, how they knew about their history, but what if Andrew was right? Many of the stories could be very scary, she remembered. Maybe Anna was simply just too sensitive?

  "Okay," she said and nodded. "We'll stop seeing her for a while."

  They watched in silence as Anna was calmed down by her grandmother and put back to bed. Igoshi song a song for her and soon Anna was sleeping heavily again. Igoshi got up and walked out to them, smiling.

  "She'll be fine. But we need to talk." She closed the door behind her. "There is evil…evil…trying to…"

  “Stop it," Andrew said. “Stop it right there."

  Igoshi looked up at him, her eyes wide.

  "I’m sorry, Momma, but we can't have you filling her head with all this stuff anymore. It's what's causing her nightmares. You did it to me when I was a child as well, and it scared me. There’s no need to…"

  “But Anna needs it; she needs to hear…"

  "No, she doesn't, Momma. She doesn’t need to hear all that nonsense. She's four years old. She needs to be playing outside with her friends; she needs to be sleeping at night and not waking up shaking in terror. I'm sorry, but we can't have you seeing her anymore. At least not for a little while. We appreciate you coming all the way down here to help us and everything, but we’ll take it from here."

  "Andrew," his mother said, but she knew it wasn't going to help. She knew her son and his determination.

  "Please, just go," he said.

  "As you wish," she said with a deep sigh.

  Julia stayed upstairs as Andrew escorted his mother out of the house, then walked into her daughter's room, put a blanket over her little body, and watched her sleep for a few seconds. Anna was smiling now and that made Julia smile too. At least until she saw the bruises on the girl's arm.

  Chapter 12

  The Green Swamps, July 2006

  Gubba was sick of waiting. Hiding and waiting. For what?

  He spent all day inside that old cabin in the swamps with nothing but the animal sounds coming from the swamps as company. It was so boring, so incredibly boring. Nothing happened until late in the afternoon when E.T. came to him, driving in her truck, usually loaded with food and supplies.

  "The sheriff is still looking for you; you can never show your face in town again," she said as she sat down, serving him a roast she had prepared at home. "No one suspects I was there; apparently, no one saw me, but you they still fear. They even now think you were also behind the fires. You're wanted all over. Four years hasn't changed that."

  "I'm sick of hiding," he said and threw his plastic fork down on the paper plate.

  "Hey, you're the one who wanted the revenge. I only helped you fulfill your plans. Now eat some more."

  "I'm not hungry. I just…feel so…unfulfilled. I mean, it was what I wanted, yes, but then again, it wasn't the right thing. I mean, it wasn't…it wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't who I wanted."

  E.T. nodded while chewing. "I know why. Because it wasn't where you wanted it to happen."

  "Exactly. It was there, it was the preschool, but it wasn't really right, 'cause it was here, not there, I don't know…"

  "Oh, but I do." She leaned forward and pointed her fork at him. "You want to go back, don't you? You want to go back there, where the people who really hurt you are. Am I right?"

  "Yes. You're absolutely right. What's the use of punishing people who don't even know why? I mean, the darn Bushlake Massacre didn't even happen here. My mother isn't here, neither are the townsfolk; even though some of them are here, they weren't the ones who hurt me…" Gubba stopped while thinking it sounded crazier than a person from Whispering Pines talking. "You know what I mean, don't you?"

  "Sure do. And I think I know how to help you."

  Gubba lit up. "You do? You can help me get back?"

  She shook her head. "Probably not, but there is another way, another way you can get back. Sort of."

  Gubba rose in agitation. He was sick of being confused, of E.T. always speaking in riddles.

  "How? Tell me?"

  "Easy there, tiger. Sit back down."

  Gubba did as she told him to, his heart racing in his chest. Why hadn't she told him this before?

  "I think you're unable to travel back because of how hurt you were there. You're weak. Your body might still be alive in that world, but you can't open your eyes and see. You need a new set of eyes," she said.

  Gubba wrinkled his nose. "A new set of eyes? I don't understand. What do you mean?"

  "You need to find someone who travels like you and use their eyes to look into the place you left."

  Gubba stared at the old woman, wondering if she was just a nutcase. It sure sounded like it to him, but what if she wasn't? What if she knew what she was talking about?

  "Now, I don’t travel anymore, but you, Gubba, you're young. You can do it. And I can help you."

  Chapter 13

  North Florida, somewhere outside Jacksonville, November 2007

  "Mommy, don't go."

  The words were still lingering in the back of Julia's head. Anna had begged her mother to stay home from this trip. It was the first time she would be gone from her daughter for an entire five days and had to leave her with the nanny. But it was also a chance for her and Andrew to finally have some time together, alone, so when Andrew had said he had
a conference to go to in Georgia and that they could go together, she jumped at it. At first, she felt a little uneasy thinking about being away from Anna, but that was only natural, she figured. It wasn't until they were about to leave that Anna started to cry and begged her to stay.

  It broke Julia's heart, but she had left anyway. It was the right thing to do. Besides, the nanny, Elizabeth, who had been babysitting Anna on Saturday nights when Julia and Andrew went out every now and then, was super nice. She was this retired lady who liked to make a little extra money by babysitting or cleaning for people. She had been with them for two years now and there had been no problems.

  Not until Anna suddenly had to be alone with her for five days. Of course, it was a big deal for a five-year-old. Crying before they left was only natural. Still, it had taken Julia by surprise just how upset Anna had been. She had never seen her cling to her mother like that before. Not so desperately.

  "We're going to be home before you know it. You're going to have so much fun with Elizabeth; you're not going to even notice we're not here," she had explained.

  Now, while they were driving back, leaving Georgia behind and entering Florida again, she couldn't stop thinking about Anna and those crying eyes when she had left. Julia had called home every night to say goodnight, but Anna had seemed fine. She and Elizabeth had enjoyed themselves, Elizabeth had said, so even though Anna kept asking when they would come home, she was probably fine.

  Still, Julia couldn't escape this horrible feeling she had inside and as they drove into the night, getting closer to home; her pulse was getting faster and her stomach turning into a knot.