Wild Thoughts

by Charity Ferrell

  “Thank you, sunshine,” he whispers into my ear, tightening his hold, like he never wants to let me go.

  Chapter 47

  Knox

  I wake up to an empty bed, and I’d think last night was a dream if the sheets didn’t smell exactly like heaven. She still uses the same body lotion that reminds me of pineapples and lavender.

  I crawl out of bed to head to the bathroom but stop myself and start getting dressed. I know she said Mia would be in freak out mode if she saw me, so I’m hoping she’s already left, because I have to piss like a racehorse.

  I duck down the hallway, thankful it’s clear, and go into the bathroom. I walk down the stairs when I’m finished and find Libby in the kitchen.

  “Morning sunshine,” I greet, moving into the room. She has a pan on the stove and is cracking an egg into it.

  She gives me the world’s most gorgeous smile. “Good morning. How did you sleep?”

  “Perfect, actually. The best sleep I’ve had in weeks, but I was disappointed when I woke up to an empty bed.”

  “All of my classes are at the butt-crack of dawn, so I can’t sleep in anymore, even on the weekends. My body won’t let me. It sucks, but I’m more productive now, so that’s a plus.”

  “It’s the opposite for me. My days are short, my nights long.” I point to the stove. “Do you need any help?”

  “Nope.” She nods towards the stool at the island. “You sit down right there.”

  “You sure?”

  “Positive.”

  I do as I’m told.

  “The tour seems to be doing well,” she goes on. “Thomas said it’s been nominated for numerous awards and you’ve even added more shows.”

  She’s trying to steer away from talking about Nate destroying my house. I appreciate it because I’m not sure if I’m ready for that yet. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that my own family deceived me.

  “Revenue and review wise, it’s great, but it’s been one of the most emotional journeys I’ve ever been on,” I reply.

  She scrunches her face up. “Why do you say that?”

  I lean in, resting my elbows on the counter, and lock eyes with her. “You came into my life because of the tour, yet I lost you for the same reason. I’ve lost respect for the majority of the people in my family. I came home to a destroyed house. I honestly feel like there’s nothing for me to look forward to when it ends.”

  Her eyes dart down to the pan, and she moves back and forth on her feet, looking uncomfortable. “Some of those are an easy fix.”

  “The house, yes. The broken relationships and my guitar, not so much.”

  “We can have the police put out a report to make sure no one tries to sell your guitar online or pawn it. I’ll search for it every day, checking eBay, Craigslist, everywhere I can. We’ll find it.”

  She uses a spatula to swipe up the egg, drops it onto a plate, and then hands it to me.

  “How do I deserve you?” I ask, sighing. “Even if we’re not together, how did I get so lucky to have you in my life?”

  She pauses in the middle of cracking another egg and opens her mouth to respond … and then shuts it. Heat radiates in my chest as I keep my eyes on her face. It’s still there – her love for me, and I want to drag it all out of her so she can see it too.

  “I think we’re lucky to have each other,” she whispers.

  “Well isn’t this a surprise!” I turn around to find Mia strolling our way with a shit-eating grin on her face. An anguished groan comes from Libby. “I see someone snuck in sometime during the night.”

  “It’s a long story that no one wants to talk about right now,” Libby immediately says, giving her friend a serious look. The girl always has my back.

  I look back at Mia. “My cousin trashed my house and pretty much let everyone rob me. So I called Libby, and she offered to let me crash here. That okay with you?”

  “Absolutely,” Mia answers, the grin still on her face. “Stay as long as you’d like. Make yourself at home.”

  I shake my head. “I appreciate it, but I don’t want to be a burden. I’ll book a hotel for a few days until I can find something to rent temporarily. I’m selling that house. I don’t even want to set foot into it again.”

  “You only have a few weeks left on tour, right?” Libby asks.

  I nod. “Which means I need to buckle down and get my shit together.”

  “I can help out, look for places, and email them to you so you can focus on your shows.”

  “You would do that?”

  She smiles. “Of course, it’s the least I can do for you paying my tuition.”

  “My mom has this bomb real estate agent,” Mia says. “I’ll ask her if she has anything on the market you might like. I can also get her to list your house?”

  I nod. “That sounds great.”

  Mia walks over to the fridge and pulls out a bottle of water. “I’m headed to the beach to meet Dixon. He has a tournament today. You guys want to tag along?”

  “Probably not,” Libby answers. “I have a feeling all eyes will be on Knox, and Dixon might not appreciate that.”

  I nod in agreement. “Yeah, I think we’re good. I need to relax for a bit. Tell Dixon we said good luck.”

  “I will,” Mia says and then looks over at me. “Hopefully you’re still here when I get back, if not, fingers crossed I’ll see you again soon.”

  We’re relaxing on the couch post breakfast, and Libby is spread across the length of it, resting her feet on my lap, watching TV.

  I love this – it feels like we’re back on the bus, having our Netflix binges, and being completely comfortable and happy around each other.

  I grabbed my phone and powered it back on about ten minutes ago and am replying to all of the text messages from last night and this morning. I start to feel the frustration rising through me as I slam my fingers on the keyboard and decide to quit so I don’t ruin my time with her.

  I release a heavy sigh, toss my phone on the coffee table, and rub the back of my neck, shaking my head. Libby raises a questioning brow when I look over at her. I can tell now she wasn’t watching TV – she was staring at me.

  “Texts from my mom,” I explain. “She thinks I overreacted with the whole Nate situation.”

  “Are you shitting me?” she shrieks, grimacing.

  “I wish I were, but according to her, family shouldn’t turn their back on family.”

  She straightens up against the pillow behind her. “That seriously pisses me off. If anything, she’s the one turning her back on you for not supporting your decision and letting people take advantage of her son. Did you tell her about the guitar?”

  “Sure did. Her response was that it’s not like I can’t buy another one.”

  “No disrespect, but fuck them.”

  I crack a smile. “You’re incredible, you know that?”

  “I’m incredible because I said fuck your family? I doubt those words have been described as amazing that often.”

  “You’re amazing because you care about me and only me. You don’t give two shits about my money, my fame, or opportunities. Shit, you could’ve quit school and had me take care of you, but you wanted to do it on your own. You want to be independent and that’s incredible. It makes me happy. It lets me know I can trust you.”

  She slips me a shy smile. “I’m glad to make you happy. You can always trust me. Don’t ever forget that.” She grabs her coffee mug, brings it to her lips, and lightly blows on it.

  I shift around, feeling my cock get excited underneath my jeans as I remember how she used to wrap those pouty lips around it. “You keep doing that sunshine, I might have to make you happy and bend you over this couch.”

  Her nose wrinkles in confusion. She’s so damn adorable. “If I keep doing what?”

  “Blowing that coffee cup.”

  She rolls her eyes. “I’m not blowing this coffee cup. I’m blowing into it. What’s up with you and your turn-on to my reactions wit
h food? Moaning when I take a bite of cake. Blowing on my coffee. I told you to see a doctor about it.”

  “Your blowing is what’s turning me on. Stop doing it or do something about it.”

  She ignores my comment, takes a slow sip, and swallows it down. “Will you be honest with me?”

  “Always.”

  “Have you …” She hesitates. “Have you hooked up with anyone since me?”

  “I haven’t even touched anyone since you.” I level my eyes on her. “Have you been with anyone else?”

  Please say no. If the word yes comes out of her lips, it’ll crush me. I know she’s not mine anymore, but I feel like there are parts of her she’s still letting me have. I reach down to wrap my hand around her ankle and start massaging her foot.

  She stays quiet, her curious eyes meeting mine. “If you haven’t been with anyone … and I haven’t been with anyone …” I start to knead my knuckle into her heel. “It sounds like it’s been awhile for the both of us.”

  My hand freezes, a smile dancing on my lips. “Sounds like a predicament with an easy fix.”

  I lean in closer, but her hand smacking into my chest stops me. “Promise me one thing before we do this.” I raise a brow. “We keep this casual, okay?”

  I nod. “We keep this casual.”

  She moves, straddling my lap before I even finish my sentence, and circles her arms around my shoulders.

  “I’ve missed you,” she whispers. “I’ve missed this.” She leans in and captures my lips with hers.

  “You have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” I say into her mouth before slipping my tongue inside.

  She tastes just as sweet as I remember.

  My hand trails down her sides, settling on the curves of her hips, while she slowly starts to grind against my hard on. I push her dress up, dragging it over her head, and run my hands over the lace of her bra before removing it.

  She sucks in a breath when I unravel her hair from the tie, watching the waves of color cascade across her chest, hitting right above her hard nipples. Her head drops back when I latch my lips around a pink bud and suck hard at the same time I start rubbing her over her panties.

  The room grows hot as she tears my shirt off, throwing it to the ground, and I shiver when she runs her warm palms over my chest.

  “Raise up for me,” I say. She whines in argument when I help her up and guide her towards the end of the couch. “Don’t worry. You won’t be whining long.”

  “Good, now fuck me, Knox Rivers,” she rasps out. “I need you.”

  “Not as much as I need you.”

  I bend her over the arm of the couch, slap her ass, and she steps out of her panties after I drag them down her legs. She shivers, goosebumps traveling up her skin, when I slip my hand between her thighs and spread them apart. She’s drenched for me – dripping down my fingers.

  Her back arches, and she starts to buck against my hand when I slide two fingers in, curling them into her heat, and hitting all of her favorite spots.

  “Have you touched yourself thinking about me since you left?” I ask, my voice rough.

  “Knox,” she moans out.

  I pull my fingers out of her and play with her clit, waiting for an answer. “Answer me or no more.”

  “Yes!” she gasps out. “I have – so many times. It’s always you.”

  “Fuck yeah.” I shove my fingers back in, working her harder until her orgasm shatters through her.

  Her panting and the noise of me unbuckling my pants are the only sounds in the room. My cock springs forth, and I stroke it a few times after pulling down my jeans and boxers. I nudge it between her legs – moving it back and forth along her folds, teasing her until she’s withering underneath me in need.

  “You’re all I think about. I jack off to the memory of you every day,” I say. She gasps when I fill her up “Only you, sunshine.”

  I push my chest into her back, moving my hand around to play with her tits, and pump in and out of her.

  She intoxicates me – the most powerful drug I can take, the strongest drink I can consume.

  There’s nothing casual about this.

  And I’m going to prove that to her.

  “You’re going to stay the weekend, right?” Libby asks when I wrap a towel around her after stepping out of the shower.

  We decided to clean up after our casual sex with some shower sex.

  “Why?” I ask. “Would you like me to?”

  She focuses on getting dressed, not looking over at me. “I mean … I don’t have any plans this weekend, just some homework, so it would be completely fine.”

  I grab her around the waist and pull her into my side. “You missed me, didn’t you?”

  She squirms, trying to fight me off as I tickle her side. “No! Stop!”

  “You did.”

  She pushes away from me, laughing. “Fine, yes, I did miss you.”

  I drop my towel and grab my pants. “Thanks for the invite, sunshine, but I think I’ll be leaving now.”

  Her jaw drops. “What?”

  “Can I borrow the Jeep or do I need to call a car?” She stares at me, unblinking, and stutters her words. I bend down and kiss her forehead. “Of course I’m staying, I’ll stay as long as you let me.”

  Libby slams the fridge shut and leans back against it. “If we go out in public, there’s no doubt we’ll be noticed and they’ll be drilling you on details about your house.”

  “Then what are we going to do? Starve to death?” I question. “I’m going to die over here. We can order in or have George bring us something.” We’ve been hanging out all day, and my stomach is grumbling as it starts to get dark outside. Libby had been planning on going grocery shopping today, so we’re running low on food. Good thing California has delivery places out the ass. “We can do the whole snowed in kind of thing without the actual snow?”

  She chuckles. “Sounds good to me.”

  “Just don’t get sick of me and throw my ass out in the fake cold.”

  “We were together every day for almost three months. I don’t think I could ever get tired of you.”

  “I like hearing you say that. I thought you’d given up on me.”

  Her eyes soften. “I didn’t give up on you.”

  “Sure seemed like it. I mean, you said you couldn’t do a relationship with me anymore. If that’s not giving up, I don’t know what is.”

  I’m giving this conversation a one-eighty – taking it from a small “what’s for dinner,” talk to a “what’s going on in our relationship,” one.

  Her shoulders slouch. “You have to see where I’m coming from. I saw the things my father did on tour. I saw the women who threw themselves at him. Shit, I even saw it when I was on tour with you. I’ll spend all of my time worrying about you caving into their advances. I can’t stress about that and try to get my degree.”

  I raise my voice, shoving my finger into my chest. “I’m not your father. I’m not Adam. I’m me, and you know me. I’m not that man. You saw me on tour. I can do commitment. How long were we together before we had sex? Was I fucking other women while I waited? No. I can go a few weeks without sex. It might be unfortunate, but it’s not the end of the world. Have you heard of masturbation?” I stop and chuckle. “Of course you have. You have your fair amount of vibrators.”

  “So hysterical.” She rolls her eyes and pushes off the fridge. “I understand where you’re coming from. Feed me and we can talk about this more, but you know I’m cranky on an empty stomach.”

  “Is there hope?” I have to ask or it’ll kill me.

  “There’s most definitely hope.”

  I stay the entire weekend with Libby. George did a grocery store run, so we cooked dinner together, found a new Netflix show to binge watch, and made love every night and morning.

  I don’t want to leave when it’s time to go.

  I want to stay in this imaginary world where we’re both normal people living a normal life.

  I grab her
hands in mine. “Tell me this goodbye is going to be better than the last one. Promise me I’ll see you again.”

  She tightens her hands in mine. “I promise.”

  Chapter 48

  Libby

  “Do you want to hear a super awesome story?” Mia asks, strolling into my room and flopping down on my bed.

  “Nope,” I answer.

  Whatever it is, I doubt it’s going to be super awesome and more along the lines of some lecture about Knox. George picked him up early this morning to catch their jet. Knox said he’d text me when he landed, but I haven’t heard from him yet. The flight is somewhere along fourteen hours, so I’m not too worried.

  Him staying this weekend pulled at my emotion strings, showing me how much I truly missed and care about him.

  “So I walk out of my bedroom the other morning, and this gorgeous man is sitting in the kitchen. Who is this good-looking man you ask?” Mia goes on in excitement.

  “Nope, sure didn’t,” I grumble.

  “It’s Knox Rivers, and he stayed with my roomie the entire weekend.”

  I’ve been dreading having this conversation with her. She’s dialed down on the whole, “you made a mistake breaking up with Knox,” speech, but now I’m sure it’s going to be a daily thing again.

  “He needed somewhere to stay. I wanted to help a friend out.”

  She snorts. “You are so generous. You weren’t only helping him with a place to stay either. You were also fucking him as a friendly gesture too?”

  “Exactly.” I start to focus on my notes. Well, I act like I’m focusing on my notes.

  “One minute you want him to stay away from you, the next you want him inside of you. Make up your mind before he starts making out with someone else.”

  I shrug and keep my eyes down. “If he does, he does. I can’t stop that.”

  I look up when she pushes my shoulder. “Uh, yeah you can, dumbass. You can date him.”

  “I have to get to class.” I get up, grab my laptop to slide it into its case and then into my book bag, and throw it over my shoulder. “Like always, it was a pleasure chatting with you about Knox.”