The Bonding

by Hansen, Victoria

  “Yes. Davin has committed no crime against me. He saved my life. I have come to no harm at his hand. He is innocent. Let him go.”

  “She's still bewitched,” Kyla interjected, “she doesn't know what she is saying.”

  “I am not bewitched,” Kiri said. “I am furious. It almost seems as though you are punishing Davin for saving me. Would you rather I was dead?”

  Startled at this unexpected turn in the conversation, Kyla fell silent. It was Joran who spoke. “If you are under a magical manipulation, my dear, you might not be aware of it. However, can we explain to you why we feel you are the victim of a crime?”

  “I am not a victim,” Kiri insisted, “but please explain.”

  “You see, you and Davin are bound together in a most unusual way.”

  I would give a great deal for someone to make sense for once. “We bonded as sorcerer and swordmaster. What's unusual about it?”

  “Your bond is not like others,” the ancient man replied, and his voice cracked on every third word. “It is unique. We believe it is triple the strength of a normal one, and it is somehow different in composition as well. We think it is likely it can never be broken.”

  “Good,” Kiri shot back. “I don't want it to be. Listen; there is nothing unusual about our bond. We spoke the words and exchanged the kisses just like everyone else does.”

  “I'm sure, my dear. However, your bond is not like anyone else's. It is also a fact, testified to by both you and Davin, that he once rendered you unconscious and used your magic against your will.”

  This argument again? “I was dying. He did it to save my life. I hold nothing against him.”

  “Really?” Miranda said, “We understood you two recently broke off your relationship. We felt it was likely you discovered that what he had done was a form of assault, and you became angry.”

  I'm angry now. Convicted based on assumptions? How is this country better than my own? “Actually, that is not what happened at all. The reason for me breaking things off with him was…a misunderstanding between us. I intend to rectify it as soon as possible. It has nothing whatsoever to do with either our bond or his use of my magic.”

  “Are you certain of this?” Miranda pressed.

  Kiri realized that she would have to confess some very personal things to this council in order for them to take her seriously. “Lords and ladies,” she said, “please hear me now. You know I have been raped in the past. I know what that violation feels like. What Davin did was to save me from great harm. Had there been time for him to explain to me what he was about to do, I would have given him permission without hesitation. There simply was not enough time. As it was, I nearly died from my injuries. He saved me using the only avenue available to him. Far from being angry, I am grateful for his quick action.” They looked unconvinced. “Forgive me; I see I will have to be blunt. In the cave, after destroying Gorn, Davin and I did not sit idly as his reeking remains smoked. We spent the whole night making love. If I was willing…no, not willing, eager to let him penetrate my body, why would I forbid him to use my magic?”

  “It has been suggested his seduction of you might also have been magically enhanced.” Miranda explained

  Elder or no, Kiri rolled her eyes at Miranda's words. “No, that could not have happened.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because we were inside a crystal cave,” she enunciated slowly. “It would have been impossible for Davin to use his magic against me there. Nor did he seduce me at all. He even offered to stop if I was uncomfortable. I wanted to be with him. I love him.” Kiri broke off as emotion overwhelmed her.

  “Why didn't we think of it?” Dalwyn exclaimed. “Of course he could not have used magic to control her inside a crystal cave.”

  The council nodded in agreement, even Kyla, though she looked rather sour about it. “But what about the bond?” she asked, “He must have done something to cause the strange bond between them.”

  “Perhaps,” Miranda replied thoughtfully. “I think we should ask a few more questions. Won't you sit down, Kiri? Please, we want to understand what has happened.”

  “Kiri,” Joran said, descending from the dais and approaching the bench she had chosen, right up front and to the left of the aisle. The seat felt smooth but cold against her, even through her garments, “tell me more about the bonding you and Davin performed before the fight. Did you begin to experience strangely powerful emotions after it settled into place?”

  “No. All I felt was a connection to Davin. What are you trying to figure out?”

  “Whether he is using that bond to influence your feelings towards him.”

  All at once, a thought clicked in Kiri's mind. “That's backwards,” she said. “The bond didn't cause our feelings. Our feelings caused us to bond. We were wildly attracted to each other from the beginning, but I was forbidden to have liaisons, and in Eliada's presence I didn't dare act on our connection. It wasn't until the day the creature found us that we decided to bond each other. Remember, we chose each other even though there was a more likely person for each of us. I could have bonded Eliada, and Davin could have bonded poor Jarrell, and we would have both been just as safe as we were together. We chose each other, I think, because we wanted that connection.”

  Miranda inhaled sharply.

  “My lady?” Kiri turned toward the elder.

  “Are you saying, my dear, that you and Davin were already in love when you decided to bond each other?” the elder demanded, and Kiri could tell from her tone and expression that finally something was about to be explained.

  “Yes.”

  The elder sagged against the back of her chair. “That's what happened, then. Sorcerers and swordmasters are not meant to bond when they are in love. It makes too tight a connection.”

  “Like my grandparents?” Kiri guessed, putting more pieces together. “After my grandfather's death, my grandmother only lived long enough to bring my mother into the world. Then she died too.”

  “That's it exactly!” Miranda exclaimed. “You and Davin unwittingly created an unbreakable double bond between you, because you were already in love when the ceremony was performed.”

  “It may not be the ideal way, my lady,” Kiri said, “but under the circumstances, I don't see what we could have done differently. Nor do I regret the decision.”

  “But my lady,” Kyla wheedled, “This bond is more than double strength. How did it become so strong, unless it was deliberately manipulated?”

  “I think it's quite obvious,” Dalwyn replied. “They also broke the second rule of the bond by having sex less than a day after the ceremony. You know bonds such as these involve a period of separation after the ceremony, to prevent just such an event from happening. Davin and Kiri have accidentally formed a triple bond of love, sex, and magic. Unusual though it may seem, this triple bonding was unintentional, the result of decisions made under extreme stress and deadly danger.”

  “But they'll never be able to separate,” Kyla protested. “Attempting to break it would probably kill them both.”

  “I don't want to try to separate.” Kiri said stubbornly, “I love Davin. The idea of being bound to him for life sounds wonderful. Now then, I have told you and demonstrated to you that Davin is innocent of doing any wrong against me. You told me I could have a reward for saving your people from the monsters. What I want is Davin released from prison and all charges against him dropped.”

  “I move to grant the lady Kiri's request.” Dalwyn said.

  “I oppose it.” Kyla said stubbornly, “We have not determined she is free of any magical manipulation, only that she believes she is. I will not vote to release him unless she undergoes a full scan of her body and memories, to be sure there is nothing there that is influencing her.”

  “That does seem prudent,” Joran agreed.

  Miranda nodded.

  Kiri narrowed her eyes. “So, I am to let you scan my most intimate memories in search of what is not there? That sounds like the vi
olation to me. You are all a bunch of voyeurs. But to spare Davin going to prison, I will submit.”

  Kyla stepped forward, but Kiri waved her away. “I will not allow you to do it. I don't trust your impartiality.”

  Kyla scowled. “Dalwyn may not do it either. He likes Davin too much to be trustworthy.”

  “May I request Joran?” Kiri asked, “He is the most neutral one here.”

  “Agreed,” Miranda said. “Lie on the bench, Kiri. We will try to make this as painless as possible.”

  “It will be no such thing,” Kiri said grimly, “you are going to make me relive the worst moments of my life with all of you watching. Please just get it over with.”

  In the end, the scan took several hours. Searching her body for magical manipulation turned out to be a relatively quick process, and of course, none was found. The scan of her memories, however, was an endless and excruciating process. They searched her entire childhood, looked deeply into the events surrounding the rape, her trial and her punishment, peered into the years during which she served as Eliada's slave, and finally arriving at her meeting with Davin. They scrutinized Davin's brief but romantic courtship, the bonding ceremony, the passionate night they spent, the battle, and the two weeks in the hospital, the magic classes, the lie that had separated Kiri from the man she loved. Finally, when they arrived at her visit to Jaya in the hospital, the whole group of them drew back in astonishment at the news of Kiri's pregnancy.

  “I am satisfied,” Dalwyn said.

  “As am I,” Joran seconded.

  “Yes.” Miranda agreed, “There is nothing to prosecute here.”

  They all turned to Kyla. “Well, did you not want me to do my job thoroughly? Fine, there's nothing there. Release him.”

  Kiri sagged with relief. The difficult task of convincing the council was completed. But now she would have to face the even more difficult task of apologizing to Davin for her terrible mistake.

  Chapter 12

  Davin had arrived at his apartment thoroughly bewildered. He had been sure he was about to be sentenced to years in prison, when abruptly an anonymous guard told him the charges had been dropped and he was free to go. There had been no further explanation offered, and Davin had felt it was better not to ask. Not that being freed made much of a difference. Life just wasn't the same anymore. He felt old, tired, and just sad. Now, the next morning, he lounged in one of his comfortable armchairs, sipping a cup of coffee and trying not to think. It wasn't working. He hoped to go back to work soon. The distraction would be very welcome.

  Someone knocked at the door. Damn it, I don't want anyone. After Kiri's unexpected disappearance from his life, he had gone to Jaya, who had comforted him as best she could, but she seemed to have the idea that Kiri was beneath contempt, and he was better off without her. She couldn't understand why he continued to have mixed feelings –tenderness blended with his anger and confusion – and why he was not able to let go of his feelings towards the girl who had hurt him so badly. When his own men had come, apologetically, to arrest him, he had put up no resistance, nor had he done much to defend himself at his trial. He had simply told the elders over and over he had never wanted to hurt Kiri, he loved her, and had only used her magic the one time to save her. Other than that, every moment of their relationship had been entirely mutual.

  They had not believed him.

  For a few days he had been angry, but then he began to feel numb, and the numbness had been a blessing. It still was. But now, someone was knocking. Someone wanted to talk to him.

  “Go away,” he said sharply. “I don't want to see anyone.”

  “Davin, please.” A familiar voice sounded through the door. Kiri? Why, by all the gods, is she here?

  Davin rose and threw open the door. “What do you want?”

  “May I come in?” she asked in a tiny, contrite voice he'd never expected to her from her. “There's something important I have to say to you.”

  Davin's molars ground together. Numbness melted to icy rage at the sight of the bitch who had betrayed him. “I'm not in the mood for games, Kiri,” he snarled.

  “No games. I swear.”

  He stepped aside and let her enter the room. “Well? Say what you have to say and get out. I don't want you here.”

  * * *

  Kiri could see in every line of Davin's body how deeply she had hurt him. Her awakening to her magic had permanently enhanced her senses, and she could see his normally teasing brown eyes looked bleak, and the small smile lines around them were gone. His cheeks were unshaven and without his ready grin, the planes of his face looked harsh. Fury radiated from every line of his body. This was going to be terrible, she knew, but when she saw him it broke her own heart. No matter the cost to her pride, she must tell this man she was sorry. She took a deep breath. “I had to come. I owe you a huge apology. I made a terrible mistake.”

  “I should certainly say so, Kiri,” he sneered. “You had me arrested.”

  Oh gods, he does believe that. She hastened to explain. “I didn't, you know. That was done without my knowledge or consent. I went yesterday to the council of elders. I told them you were innocent of harming me and convinced them to drop the charges against you. If I had known what they were doing, I would have stopped them sooner. It was never what I wanted.”

  Davin blinked, confusing momentarily suppressing his anger. “Wait, what? You didn't bring rape charges against me?”

  She stepped forward, crowing into his space and laid a hand on his arm. “There was no rape between us. I know that better than most. You never caused me harm. You have been nothing but good to me. Better than I deserved.” Her eyes lowered from his to the floor.

  Davin stepped away, jerking his arm out from under her fingers. “Then what happened? Everyone thought you learned in your class that by using your magic without your consent, I assaulted you.”

  “No, no, no!” Kiri insisted, her voice rising. Then she took a deep breath. “How can you people get such simple things so twisted up? I trusted you. If you could have convinced me in the moment that I truly had enough magic to make a difference, I would have given you permission to use it. It was no violation whatsoever!” Again she touched him, resting her hand on his shoulder.

  Davin shook her off and turned away. “Well then what the hell happened? Why did you leave the hospital and go to your own apartment? And why wouldn't you see me? I heard you crying. You never cry. Why wouldn't you let me in?” Grief bled into the question, and Kiri's heart clenched.

  “That's why I'm here. I have to explain. I made a terrible mistake,” she pleaded, her voice wavering and cracking. A tear escaped and she brushed it away.

  At last Davin consented to glance over his shoulder at her. “Go on.”

  This is it. Spit it out. “When you didn't come for me after class, I walked back to the hospital by myself. A woman approached me and told me she was your wife.”

  Davin turned and stared, stunned. “Kiri, I've never been married.”

  She sniffled, her head bowed in shame. “I know that now. I should have trusted you. I'm sorry.”

  “What did this woman look like?” Suspicion threaded into his every word. She dared look at him, and the angry cast to his features nearly broke her nerve.

  Forcing herself to speak, she enunciated carefully, “Kind of like me, but older, with short hair and no scars.”

  A look of rage the likes of which Kiri had never imagined washed over Davin's face. His jaw clenched, a muscle in it ticked. “That bitch,” he gritted out. “I'll kill her.” Another long moment passed while Davin appeared to wrestle with his temper. “Why the hell did you believe a total stranger?” he demanded, stepping forward and grasping her upper arms in a bruising grip.

  His question struck her in the heart. He's right. This failure is unforgiveable. Yet Kiri tried to explain. “I couldn't imagine what reason she would have to lie. And, it's still hard for me to believe someone as amazing as you could really…care for a worn out old wreck o
f a woman like me.”

  His arms jerked, shaking her. “You couldn't have asked me? No, forget that.” He dropped her. “Could you have asked Jaya? Lady Miranda? Dalwyn? Hell, someone you met on the street? I'm well known. Everyone knows I'm not married.” He gestured in disbelief, arms forward, palms up.

  “I was stupid. I admit it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.” She took a deep breath. She did not want to say this next part, but it was necessary. Kiri raised her eyes to his. Tears shimmered in the emerald depths. “I know you may never be able to forgive me. I did you a terrible wrong, and no apology can make it right. I betrayed your trust. But I had to come to you, to tell you that you didn't do anything wrong. The fault was mine entirely. You are a good man, and a worthy one. I couldn't let you think you had wronged me in some way. You never did. I swear it.” One tear, and then another began flowing down the scars on Kiri's cheeks.

  Davin didn't respond in any way. His expression never changed. Grief tore at Kiri. What an idiot I am, to have had the love of such a perfect man, and thrown it away because of a lie, a lie I never even tried to confirm. She deserved every moment of suffering. For a brief, wild instant, she considered telling Davin she was pregnant. If anything would make him soften towards her, it would be that. But she decided against it. It was a kind of manipulation to use a baby to try to convince him to forgive her. He would have to want her for herself or nothing else would matter.

  “Davin,” she said, her voice soft and trembling, “My love…I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but is there any way we can…be together again? I love you. I… I'll do anything you want, any penance. I'll be your slave. Only, say it's not over between us. Please Davin.” She hated the wheedling tone in her voice, but she couldn't stop.

  “I have no use for a woman, slave or otherwise, who would listen to lies without even asking me if they're true. Clearly, you have no trust in me, Kiri. And I can't trust you anymore either. You've said your piece. Now get out.” He stalked to the door and wrenched it open, indicating the hallway with a gesture of his head.