Kane

by Douglas, Cheryl

  Surprisingly, she blinked back tears. “I’ve been thinking about the things you said in the hospital, honey. When your youngest child is facing death, it’s an awakening. You realize you may not have time to do all the things you’ve been putting off.”

  “Like?”

  “Taking an art class.” A smile lit up her face. “I signed up for one. I’ll be going twice a week, every Thursday night and Saturday morning.”

  “That’s wonderful! I’m so proud of you!” I knew change didn’t come easily for someone like my mother, who enjoyed her life in the comfort zone.

  “Thanks, I can hardly wait. In fact, I just came from the art supply store. Your dad is even clearing out the spare bedroom for me to use as a studio.”

  “Dad supports this idea?”

  “Sweetie, I know you think your dad is rigid, but all he wants is for all of us to be happy.”

  I knew my dad wasn’t a bad guy. He was just misguided at times. “I know. Uh, speaking of the overprotective men in my life, Jamie called last night.”

  “Oh good,” my mother said, clasping her hands. “When is your brother flying in?”

  “I asked him to give me a few more weeks. I assured him I was fine, but I’d like to be a little stronger when I see him. I don’t want him to worry about me.” I gestured to my weak body.

  “I guess I can understand that.”

  I peered into her cup. “Would you like another cup of tea or something to eat, maybe?”

  “No, thanks, I just had lunch a little while ago. In fact, I have to get back to the office soon.”

  “Okay, well, don’t let me keep you.” I winced when I realized how rude that sounded. “Sorry, I didn’t mean—”

  “It’s okay,” she said with an indulgent smile. “But…”

  I wasn’t used to my mother holding back. Usually if something was on her mind, she just went for it. “What? Just say it, Mom.”

  “Well, I know how important your music is to you, but circling back to what we were talking about before… a life-threatening accident must have a way of putting things in perspective, doesn’t it?”

  “Of course.”

  “I guess I was just wondering whether you feel any differently now—you know, about your career—than you did before.”

  I traced my finger around the irregular circles in the burled walnut table as I considered my answer. I didn’t want to give her false hope, especially since I had no way of knowing where Kane and I would end up.

  “I’m not going to lie—an experience like that definitely changes you.” I was thinking more about the things I’d learned about the man I’d thought I could trust than about the accident itself. “For a long time, music was my life. Of course I love my family and friends, but making it in the music business was my reason for getting out of bed. I thought it was my purpose.”

  “Do you still think it is?” she asked gently.

  “God gave me a gift, Mom.” I knew I was speaking her language now. “He wouldn’t want me to squander it.”

  “Of course not,” she said, shaking her head emphatically. “But there are many ways to share that gift, you know. Why, you could join the church choir or—”

  “Mom,” I said, silencing her with a raised hand. “I know many options are open to me. I’ve been exploring them.”

  “You have?” She sounded shocked and relieved. “Does that mean you’re not going back to Nashville?”

  “I haven’t decided anything yet,” I said, hoping it was still possible to rein her in. “I need more time. We need more time, Kane and I, to figure out whether we have a future together. Obviously if we decide we do, that will impact my decision.”

  “He’s crazy about you,” she said, curling her hand around mine. “Anyone can see that.”

  “I appreciate your concern and your input. You can rest assured I’m well aware of the fact I have options, and while I’ve been sitting around the house with nothing else to do, I’ve been researching them.”

  “Just don’t lose sight of the most important thing you have to do during your recovery,” my mother warned.

  “I know my physical healing has to be my top priority.”

  “Yes, of course. But when will you get another chance like this with a man like Kane?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Most people date for months, maybe even years, before they have as much time together as you’ve had with Kane since the accident. Use that time. Get to know each other, really know each other. By the time you’re ready to leave, maybe you’ll decide you don’t want to. Hmmm? Just think about that.”

  I knew my mother had ulterior motives for playing matchmaker—mainly keeping me nearby where she could keep tabs on me—but I had no intention of squandering my time with Kane. If there was any chance our relationship could go the distance, I was open to the possibility.

  “Kane’s a great guy,” I said, trying to remain impassive. “We get along well. We’re friends, above all.”

  I didn’t know if she would interpret that to mean we hadn’t been intimate since the accident, but if she did, she’d be right. I knew Kane was just being cautious, since sex was off the table until the doctor gave us the all-clear, but I couldn’t deny I was disappointed he hadn’t tried anything.

  “That’s a good place to start.” Our eyes met, and she smiled. “But of course you want more than that. Every woman wants to know the man she’s in love with can’t keep his hands off her, right?”

  “Mom!” I rolled my eyes when I felt myself blush. Only my mother could still make me blush like I was a fifteen-year-old. “I am not having this discussion with you!”

  She raised her hand, waving her index finger back and forth. “Ah, but you didn’t deny you were in love with him. Very telling, indeed.”

  I hadn’t denied it because I knew she’d see right through me, and that would lead to more questions I couldn’t answer. “I’m sure we’ll figure things out without your meddl—uh, help.” I rolled my tongue in my cheek when she frowned. “All clear?”

  “Fine,” she said with a heavy sigh. “But I still think you should up your game.”

  “Up my game?” I laughed. Who was this woman, and what had she done with my uptight, God-fearing mother? “What does that even mean?”

  “Well…” She gestured to my casual attire: gray yoga pants, a white hoodie, and fuzzy socks. My hair was in a ponytail, and I hadn’t bothered with makeup since I still couldn’t leave the house without assistance. “Honey, no offense, but I think you could put a little more effort into snagging the man, don’t you?”

  “Snagging him?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “You make it sound like he’s an animal caught in a trap. I’m not trying to snag anyone. I’m trying to get to know the man I’ve had a crush on most of my li—” I slapped my hand over my mouth when my mother’s jaw dropped. Damn. I hadn’t intended to let her in on that little secret.

  “You’ve had a thing for Kane? Since when?”

  Since the cat was already out of the bag, I shrugged. “Since I was seventeen. And before you ask, it’s not like I was fantasizing about him while I was with Brendan. I didn’t even see him much before a few months ago.”

  “Does Kane know this?” she asked, leaning forward and resting her chin in her upturned palm.

  I couldn’t remember ever engaging in girl talk with my mother. I had to admit, it was kind of nice. “Yeah, he knows.”

  “And? What did he say?”

  “What’s he gonna say?” I said, shoving my hands into the pockets of my hoodie. “He was flattered, I guess.”

  She bit her lip, her eyes dancing with excitement. “Oh my, this changes everything, doesn’t it?”

  “No. Why?”

  “But of course it does. Kane is more than just a fling to you, honey. He’s your destiny. The relationship with Brendan was a detour on your way back to Kane. Can’t you see that?”

  I peered into her half-empty cup of tea. “Did Kane slip something in that? ‘
Cause you’re not making a lick of sense.”

  “Of course I am.” She clasped her hands under her chin. “You know God has a plan for us all, Macy. His plan was for you to venture out on your own so you could realize this is where you belong, with your family and the man you’ve always loved. Oh, it’s really quite romantic.”

  “Did you not hear me?” I asked, staring at her in disbelief. “I said I was seventeen when I had a crush on Kane. I didn’t know what love was then.”

  “No, but you do now. Can you honestly say that what you felt for Brendan compares to what you feel for Kane?”

  “Mom, that’s not fair.” Especially now, when I couldn’t think about Brendan without breaking out in a cold sweat. “Two different men. Two very different relationships.”

  “Of course they are,” she said, pursing her lips. “You were just shacking up with Brendan. Which your father and I never approved of.”

  “Yes, you made that clear.” Painfully clear. Every chance they got.

  “But you’re married to Kane. You made a commitment before God. You know that means something to us, and it should mean something to you and Kane too.”

  I shook my head. “Weren’t you the one who called the lawyer to discuss an annulment while I was in the hospital? Now all of a sudden my marriage is sacred?”

  “Actually, your father was the one who called the lawyer, but only because we didn’t understand the depth of your feelings for Kane. Now that we do… well, this changes everything.”

  As far as I was concerned, nothing had changed. I still didn’t know where I stood with my husband, and the days were ticking away. Pretty soon I’d no longer have a legitimate reason for staying with him, and we’d have to address the real issue—whether we loved each other enough to try to make it work.

  “You two should go out to dinner tonight.” Helping me to my feet, she said, “Come on, I’ll help you get ready. It’ll be fun.”

  “Mom, I can barely walk on my own. How the hell am I supposed to go to a restaurant?”

  “Did the doctor say you couldn’t go out?” she said, slipping her arm around my waist as she guided me to the bedroom I’d been using. It was on the main floor so I wouldn’t have to worry about stairs.

  “Well no, but…”

  “Wouldn’t you like to get out of the house?”

  “Sure, but—”

  “I know the perfect spot. You just sit there.” She pointed at a bench at the end of my bed. “I’ll find something for you to wear.” Poking her head into the small walk-in closet, she muttered, “Oh dear, slim pickings.”

  “I guess when Riley flew to Nashville to pack my things, she didn’t think I’d be needing any little black dresses.”

  “No worries, the restaurant is pretty casual. It’s small, very quaint. Friends of ours from church own and manage it.”

  Great. If we were lucky, we’d get a sermon with the appetizer. “I think I should ask Kane if he even wants to go out before we make reservations. He may not feel up to it.”

  “Aren’t you going stir-crazy in this house?” she asked, returning with an outfit I was surprised she’d managed to put together: black leggings, ballerina flats—since there was no way I could wear heels yet—and a flowy black sleeveless tunic. “This should work, right?”

  “Yeah.” I couldn’t deny it would be nice to get out of the house, but doing my own hair and makeup would be a challenge. “But I don’t think I can manage getting ready on my own.”

  “I said I’d help,” she said, setting her fist on her hip. “Don’t you trust me?”

  No. “But didn’t you say you had to get back to the clinic?”

  “They can make do without me for another hour.” She eyed my ponytail. “I take it you’ve already showered, but your hair is all kinky thanks to that god-awful elastic.”

  “Mom!” I said, resting my hand against my chest. “Using the Lord’s name in vain? I’m shocked!”

  “Don’t be a smart aleck,” she said, trying to keep a straight face. “Do you have a flat iron? That would probably help.”

  I eyed her naturally wavy hair. “How do you even know about a flat iron?”

  “I’ve seen stylists at my salon using them. Now do you have one or not?”

  “Yeah, I have one. But if you don’t know how to use it, it might not be such a good idea.” I could almost smell burning hair as I imagined my well-meaning mother setting me on fire.

  “Don’t be such as worrywart. You can teach me.”

  Great. Just what I’d always wanted—to be a crazy lady’s guinea pig.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Kane

  I was shocked when I came home to find Macy looking ready to go out. She was wearing full makeup, and her hair was straight and shiny, falling over her shoulders. “Uh, you look great, but you didn’t do this all by yourself, did you?”

  “No, my mother helped,” she said, wincing. “Not something I want to repeat, but I guess it was worth a little pain and suffering.”

  “Are you and Riley going out for dinner?”

  “You and I are, if you’re interested. My mother made the reservations, so apparently all we have to do is show up.” She glanced at the time on the TV box. “In about an hour. Doable?”

  “Sorry I was gone for so long,” I said. “I stopped by the station to check in with the guys after I hit the gym.”

  “Do you miss it?” she asked, looking guilty. “You went from being on call twenty-four, seven to being my nursemaid.”

  “I’m right where I want to be.” My eyes locked on hers, and I hoped she could tell I was sincere, not trying to placate her. “As for dinner, I’d love to. I had a shower after my workout, so I’ll just need a few minutes to get changed.”

  “Take your time. The restaurant’s not far from here.”

  As I ran up the stairs to the master bedroom, my cell phone rang. Gabe. “Hey, man, what’s up?” I balanced the phone between my shoulder and ear as I sifted through the shirts hanging in my walk-in closet.

  “I was going to ask you the same thing. Haven’t heard much from you lately. How’s your wife doing?”

  I heard the smirk in his voice. Ballbreaker. Two could play that game. “She’s doing better, but I thought your neighbor would have filled you in.” If he was going to give me grief over Macy, I’d have to return the favor.

  “What makes you think Kendra talks to me about her patients?” he asked, sounding tense. “Or anything else for that matter?”

  Knowing I had a few minutes to spare, I sat on the bench at the foot of my bed and stared straight at the last family photo we’d taken before my mom died. “Look, I know Kendra’s your buddy’s ex, but—”

  “They’re not divorced yet.”

  “But it’s only a matter of time before they make it official, right?”

  “Not if he has his way.”

  “He’s hoping to put his family back together even after he cheated on his wife?” I couldn’t believe a woman like Kendra, with so much to offer, would give a man a chance to make that mistake twice.

  “People make mistakes, Kane.”

  “So you’re in favor of this?” That didn’t make any sense to me. I’d seen Kendra and Gabe interact when I’d been at his house. Even if my brother was in denial, their chemistry was obvious. “Why?”

  “I’m trying to stay out of it. It’s none of my business.”

  “So you don’t want a shot with Kendra?”

  He swore softly, as though he was holding the phone away from his ear. “I’m her husband’s boss. How the hell would it look if I started dating Kendra?”

  “So what, you’re not entitled to a life just because your job—”

  “There are plenty of single women. I don’t need to hook up with a married one.”

  Normally I’d agree, but Kendra wasn’t the kind of woman who came around every day. I suspected my brother would live to regret it if he turned his back on her. Still, none of my brothers had ever been big on talking about their
feelings, even though our mother had raised us to believe there was no shame in expressing love openly and honestly. “Just keep an open mind, kid. You never know what might happen.”

  “Is that what you’re doing with Macy, keeping an open mind?”

  “I guess you could say that.”

  “So what are her plans? When she’s fully recovered, is she heading back to Nashville or staying with you?”

  “I don’t know yet.” I glanced at the open bedroom door, but there was no way she could hear me from downstairs. “We’re going out for dinner tonight. Maybe I’ll get some of my questions answered.”

  “So she’s well enough to get out of the house?” It sounded as though air seeped through his teeth. “I guess that means she’s recovering faster than predicted, huh? Sounds like the clock’s ticking for you.”

  My gut clenched as I acknowledged the truth in that statement. As scary as it was, I had to step up and tell Macy the truth—I was in love with her. If she still chose to leave, it would be an even bigger hit, but at least I wouldn’t beat myself up for holding back when I should have gone all in. “If that’s your not-so-subtle way of telling me I’d better man up, I know that. I intend to. Tonight.”

  “What does that mean exactly?” he asked hesitantly. “You’ve been pretty tight-lipped about where you see this going. You said you married her to help her out of a jam. Now what? It’s evolved into more?”

  “I think it always was more and I just told myself I was doing her a favor. Truth be told, I think she was doing me a favor.” Staring at my mother’s smiling face, the truth hit me. Life was too damn short to live alone.

  “How do you mean?”

  “I think I didn’t want to be alone anymore. When Macy was here a few months ago, taking a break from her boyfriend, having her here felt… damn good.”

  “Did anything happen between you two then?”

  “No, of course not. She had a boyfriend. But when she left, I missed her like crazy. I wanted her back. I wanted what we had back, what we were building.”

  “But you said you guys were just friends. That wasn’t true?”