Kane

by Douglas, Cheryl

  “That’s because he loves you,” Riley said, stroking my forearm. “He’d do anything for you.” She smiled. “All Steele men are like that, you know. Once they find the one woman they can’t live without, they’ll do anything for her.”

  “Kane will want me to press charges against Brendan,” I said, curling my hand around Riley’s. “I did a little research. I don’t know much about the law, but it looks like he’d face felony charges for aggravated vehicular assault, maybe even attempted murder. He could do five years or more in prison.”

  She shook her head. “I know he meant a lot to you at one time, but don’t ask me to feel sympathy for the man who almost took my sister’s life.”

  I recognized that determined lilt to my big sister’s chin. She’d made up her mind about Brendan, and she thought he deserved to pay for his malice.

  “It doesn’t make any sense. I shouldn’t feel an ounce of compassion for that man after what he did to me. But I loved him for so long, or thought I did. The idea of him going to jail…” I shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe I’m being too soft, but it doesn’t sit well. I feel like he needs professional help, not jail time.”

  “Anyone who would consider taking his own life, along with the life of a woman he claims to love, is clearly disturbed,” Riley said, looking disgusted. “I can’t argue with you there.”

  “But if I tell Kane, he’ll pressure me to go to the police.”

  “Not if you tell Kane,” Riley said, her eyes meeting mine. “When you tell Kane. You can’t claim to love him and keep something like this from him, honey. It’s not right. You know that.”

  “I know, but—”

  “If you have to choose between your future and your past, which may be the choice you’re forced to make, which is it going to be?”

  When she put it like that, it was a no-brainer. “I want a future with Kane.”

  “Then go home and tell him everything. Figure out what to do together.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Kane

  I’d been surprised when I got a text from my father as I was leaving the gym, letting me know he was in town to visit schools with his sons and hoping we could get together for coffee. I hadn’t seen or talked to him since I’d visited him in Vegas, so I wasn’t sure how to respond. I knew my other brothers were willing to meet him halfway, so I figured I should do the same.

  We agreed to meet at a family restaurant not far from my house, so I texted Macy to let her know I’d be home in an hour or so. Knowing someone was waiting on me at home, someone who cared whether I made it home at all, felt so damn good.

  He was sitting alone at a corner booth when I arrived, looking nervous as hell. Good. Let him sweat.

  “Hey,” I said, shrugging out of my jacket when I approached.

  “Kane,” Jack said, standing to look me in the eye. He offered his hand and seemed relieved when I took it. “Thanks for coming. I’m sure you had better things to do.”

  I couldn’t argue with that. “Where are your boys? I thought you were here with them.” I slid into the booth seat across from him. “Looking at schools?” I grabbed one of the laminated menus as a tired-looking waitress in her mid-fifties approached, coffee pot in hand.

  “Care for some?” she asked.

  “Sure, thanks,” I said, turning the non-descript white mug over for her to pour.

  “You ready to order, or you need a few minutes?”

  It was nearing lunchtime, but hearing from or even about Jack had a way of killing my appetite. Still, eating would kill some of the awkward silence, give us something to do other than pretend all was forgiven.

  “I’ll have the ham and cheese omelet with rye toast,” I said before slipping the menu back into the metal holder by the window.

  “Sausage or bacon with that?” she asked, looking bored as she scribbled on her notepad.

  “No, thanks.”

  She offered Jack a slight smile. “How ‘bout you, hon?”

  I looked at Jack to see if he’d react. Not even a flicker of interest. Huh. The old man I remembered would have been all over that.

  “I’ll have the same, thanks,” Jack said, still looking at the menu. “Oh, and maybe a little more coffee, if you don’t mind?”

  “I don’t mind at all,” she said, winking at him as she poured his coffee.

  Jack looked like I imagined I would in thirty years. Since we all looked so much alike, and our mother had been slight and fair, it was obvious Jack’s genes had been the dominant ones. I just hoped the similarities ended with hair color, eye color, and stature.

  “You ever cheat on this wife?” I asked, reaching for my mug as the waitress walked away.

  He’d taken a sip of coffee and had to cover his mouth when he coughed. “Wow, you don’t pull any punches, do you?”

  “Are we here to play games?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “Or are we here to get to know each other better? To be real with each other for a change.”

  “Absolutely,” he said, with a nod. “I want you to feel free to ask me anything. I mean that. I’m an open book.”

  “I already asked you a question,” I reminded him. “You’ve yet to answer it.” I carefully watched him over the rim of my cup. I was trained to sniff out liars, and this man was crazy if he thought he could get one past me.

  “Have I ever cheated on my wife?” He chuckled. “If I had, she’d have kicked my ass out of the house, I can tell you that.”

  “Then you haven’t?” I knew he’d cheated on my mother. Everyone knew. He’d messed around with everyone from the mail carrier to the cleaning lady at our school, yet our mother had somehow managed to walk around with her head held high, claiming she had nothing to be ashamed of.

  “Screwing around on your mom was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever done,” he said, lowering his voice when a family of four sat in the booth next to us. “I won’t make that mistake again.”

  I wasn’t sure I believed him, but I supposed my opinion was irrelevant. He was someone else’s problem now. “I thought you said you were coming to Florida with the boys. Where are they?”

  “Brody wanted to take them to get fitted for tuxes.”

  “Oh yeah, he said something about wanting them in the wedding party.”

  “You okay with that?”

  “Why wouldn’t I be? They’re family, aren’t they? Besides, it’s Brody’s wedding, his decision.”

  “That’s part of the reason I wanted to meet with you today, actually.”

  The waitress returned with water and promised she’d be back in a few minutes with our orders. She treated Jack to another smile, though he didn’t seem to notice. His attention was fixed on me.

  “This has to do with Brody’s wedding?” I asked when she walked away. When he nodded, I said, “Ah, let me guess. He wants to invite you, and you’re wondering if I’d be okay with that?”

  “Would you?”

  “Like I said, my brother’s wedding, his choice. If he wants you there, who the hell am I to stand in the way?” I wasn’t ready to welcome my father back into the fold, but if I was the lone holdout, I wouldn’t try to prevent the others from including him.

  “Kane, I know you still have your reservations about me, but I’d really like to try to work on our relationship. I’d like to get to know you, for you to get to know me.”

  The waitress returned with our plates, and we ate in silence for a few minutes while he gave me time to consider his request.

  “I’m here, Jack. If I wasn’t willing to leave the door open, I wouldn’t be,” I finally said.

  “I appreciate that.” He pushed food around on the plate with his fork. “I heard you got married?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Congratulations.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Brody said something about a car accident. How’s she doing?”

  “Better.”

  He smirked. “Am I going to get more than one-word answers?”

  I sighed after down
ing a mouthful of eggs. “Look, I don’t know what you want from me. You’re not my father. You’re not my friend. You’re not someone I feel comfortable confiding in.” I knew how harsh that sounded, but this man was a stranger to me, and it took a long time for someone to earn my trust.

  He wiped his mouth with a paper napkin. “Fair enough. You don’t have to answer anything you don’t want to. You can tell me to mind my own damn business anytime you want, but I do want to break down these walls between us. That means asking questions, doesn’t it?”

  “I suppose.” Unable to stomach any more food, I rolled my napkin in a ball and tossed it on my plate. “Fine. My wife is doing much better, thank you. How’s your family?”

  He grinned as though he could tell I was just playing along to placate him. “Couldn’t be better. I saw a picture of Macy at Brody and Riley’s place. She’s beautiful.”

  “Yeah, she is.”

  “You’re in love with her?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Most people start with the easy questions. You know, how’s work? Seen any good movies lately? What sports do you watch? Got a favorite team?”

  He chuckled. “That may be true, but you walked in here looking like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders. I thought just maybe I could try being a real dad and listen to your problems.”

  I had dozens of people I could confide in. I didn’t need him, but I heard myself say, “I’ve never been in this position before, wanting a woman to stay. I’m usually the one who’s subconsciously looking for ways to screw things up before it gets too serious.”

  He laughed. “Now you’re talking my language. No one knows more about screwing things up than I do.” When I didn’t return his smile, he sobered. “I did that with your mom, pushed her away, because in my mind, I wasn’t good enough for her.”

  “You weren’t.” I heard Macy’s voice in my ear reminding me to be nice, so I added, “Not then. I don’t know who you are now, but I guess people can change. Even you.”

  “Thanks, I think.” This time we did share a slight smile before Jack said, “When you’re not sure you deserve love, you push people away so you won’t have to find out for sure.”

  I pushed my plate aside and leaned in, frowning. “What are you talking about? I never questioned whether I deserve to be loved. I may not be the easiest guy in the world to live with, but I treat women with respect.”

  He shook his head. “What I meant was, you had a lousy example growing up, so you weren’t sure you could do the relationship thing. I had a similar conversation with your brother when he was trying to decide what to do about Riley.”

  “You did?” While Brody had been the first to welcome Jack back into his life, he’d also been among the angriest for a long time. I had to assume it was Riley’s influence that softened him.

  “Yeah. He came to Vegas when he and Riley got into it, and he came to see me, of all people.” He grinned when I looked skeptical. “Believe me, no one was more surprised than I was. But the way I see it, Kane, there’s no one better to teach you how not to make all the mistakes you don’t want to make.”

  “I guess I never thought about it like that,” I said, rubbing the scruff on my jaw. “In some twisted way, that makes sense.”

  “Good,” he said, rubbing his hands together. “Now that we’ve established I’m the right one to help you through this problem you’re having with your wife, let’s hear it. What’s the problem?”

  “Slow down,” I said, raising my hand. “I never said I wanted advice from you.”

  “Look at it this way—you can unload on me, hear what I have to say, and tell me to go to hell if you don’t like it. Sound fair?”

  What could it hurt? I had nothing to lose. “Fine.” I raked a hand through my hair and set an elbow on the table as Jack leaned in. “Macy’s built a life she loves in Nashville, doing what she does best—making music. Asking her to move here to be with me is a hell of a lot to ask, don’t you think?”

  Jack seemed to consider that. “All of her family’s here, right?”

  “Except her brother. Why?”

  “She grew up here?”

  “Yeah.”

  “How does she get along with her folks?”

  “Okay, I guess.” I was surprised Jack was trying so hard to figure out what made Macy tick. I’d expected some flippant response about keeping her happy in the sack if I wanted her to stick around.

  “So it’s not like you’re asking her to move to some strange place where she doesn’t know anyone. This is her home. This is where her family and friends are.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “Just hear me out,” Jack said, inclining his head. “If you’d told me you were asking her to pick up and follow you halfway around the country, I might question whether you’re being selfish, but that’s not the case. If she chooses to stay in Tampa, she knows what she’d be signing on for.”

  “I guess, but this was never supposed to be a real marriage.” I figured I might as well go all in and tell him the whole truth. “It’s a long story. Suffice it to say, I married her to get her ex off her back. It was supposed to be a temporary thing, but things got complicated when we…” I shook my head when it was obvious Jack was trying to hide his amusement. “Yeah, when we slept together.”

  The waitress returned to clear our plates and ask if she could tempt us with dessert, but we both agreed to a coffee refill instead. I hadn’t expected to want to linger over coffee, but I was surprised to realize I was in no hurry to leave.

  “Sex does have a way of complicating things, doesn’t it?” he asked, adding more sugar to his cup.

  “The thing is, right before her accident, I told her we should cut our losses and move on before one or both of us got hurt.”

  “Why’d you do a dumb thing like that?”

  “Brody.”

  Jack nodded. “Your brother didn’t like the idea of you hooking up with his future sister-in-law? I guess I can understand that. If things went south, it would make holiday dinners pretty awkward.”

  I wondered if we would ever share holiday dinners with Jack and his new family. A few months ago, the idea would have sounded abhorrent to me. Now, not so much. “Yeah, so out of respect for him and Riley, I told Macy we needed to accept that our lives didn’t mesh. I thought I was doing Macy a favor too, giving her a way out.”

  “But you didn’t feel good about it?”

  “When I found out about the accident, I felt like someone had hit me with a sledgehammer. I’ve been in a lot of bad situations. My life’s been on the line more times than I can count, but I’ve never been more scared than I was when I heard about what happened to Macy.” God, where was this shit coming from? Why was I spilling my guts to him? “I just wanted her to be okay. I wanted to take care of her, to protect her, and I’ve never felt like that about a woman before.” I looked him in the eye. “Well, besides Mom. But there was nothing I could do to protect her from you… or the cancer.”

  Jack was a silent for a moment, obviously taking in everything I’d said. “Life is short, shorter for some than others. That isn’t always fair, especially when we feel God took the good ones too soon. But it’s not up to us to decide, is it?”

  “I guess not.”

  “What we do get to decide is what to do with the time we have. What do you want to do with the time you have?”

  I took a deep breath, shocked he was asking me such a deep question in a bustling diner in the middle of a workday, surrounded by people more concerned about getting back to their jobs before their bosses lowered the boom.

  “I want to keep doing what I do—protecting people. It makes me feel good, like my life counts for something. I guess I just want the world to be a little better because of me.” I’d never said that to anyone, not my blood brothers or my brothers in uniform. Of course, I didn’t have to tell the guys on the job. I knew most of them felt the same way I did.

  “That’s admirable,” he said, a smile curving his lips slig
htly. “I’m damn proud of you, not that I have the right to be.”

  He was right, he had no right, but it still felt good to hear him say he was proud of me.

  “But beyond the job, what do you want?”

  I curled one hand into the other, resting them in front of my mouth as I considered his question. “My needs are pretty simple: decent place to lay my head at night, wheels, some coin in the bank…” This was the hardest admission of all because it was the one thing I wasn’t sure I’d ever have. “And a family of my own. Wife. Kids.”

  “You’ve got the wife. You said you love her. The way I see it, you just have to figure out whether she loves you enough to stick around.”

  “We’ve never even talked about kids. What if she doesn’t want that? You know, because of her music?”

  “Would you still want her if she didn’t?”

  I watched my nephews grow up. I loved spending time with them, but a part of me always wished they were my own. “I love her. I don’t know if I could stop now, even if I find out she doesn’t want the same things I do.”

  “Seems to me you’ve got to find out, Kane. Don’t waste any more time talking to me. Go home and talk to your wife.”

  ***

  “Hey,” I said, frowning when I walked through the door to find Macy curled up on the couch under a blanket. “You okay? You’re not feeling sick, are you?”

  She smiled, tucking the blanket under her chin. “No. I’m just tired. Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night.”

  “Because of me?” I crossed the room and sat on the table in front of her, linking my hands between my knees. “I’m sorry for laying all that on you while you’re still recovering. I just thought you should know how I felt.”

  “I’m glad you told me.”

  “You are?” My heart was hammering as I prepared for her to let me down gently.

  “Yeah, I am.” She reached for my hand. “Years ago, I fell in love with a fantasy.” She smiled. “You were so damn sexy.”

  I rolled my eyes, considering how I must have looked to the girl she’d been.