Clutch_A Rock Bottom Novel

by Gabriel Love

  My knuckles ache as I grip the edge of the chair. Her eyes meet mine again before darting away. “But… that doesn’t make sense.”

  I hear her mother talking on the other end, but can’t make out the words.

  “I’ve got to go,” she says to her mother, before a beep fills the silence of the room. The quiet is overwhelming. I can hear her take a deep breath. Hear the slight sound of her mouth opening before she speaks in a voice so quiet I almost miss it.

  “Someone…” she hesitates, then clears her throat before trying again. “Someone beat up Carl.” She sits on the edge of the bed, drawing her legs up under her before stretching them out and meeting my gaze. I don’t flinch. I don’t look away.

  But she does. Her lips part and she glances at the floor, then focuses on her hands as she picks at a hangnail. “He’s…” her voice is a whisper and she clears her throat again. “He’s under arrest. But someone roughed him up pretty bad. And his hand…” She trails off, looking up the wall, tears swimming in his eyes. Then her gaze meets me again and those tears roll down her cheeks.

  “Someone cut up his hand.” Her eyes lower to my knuckles, then sweep back up to my face.

  Still, I say nothing.

  She tilts her head at me, her voice a low and dangerously close to tears. “You better tell me what happened.”

  “I had to kick the shit out of someone,” I say calmly. The sound of his teeth snapping rings in my ears. And I feel clarity settling. A flash of the sensation of bones giving tickles my knuckles and I resist the urge to rub them. “He had it coming.”

  She’s trembling. “When?” she asks, but we both know she knows.

  “The day I left to help Dex with something.” There’s no point in lying now. Hell, this might work out after all. She’ll be so pissed and disgusted, she’ll push me out the damn door.

  I see a twitch of anger in her face. “Did Dex know?”

  “No. He knew something, knew your ex was looking for you. That’s it.”

  “He covered for you.” Her voice is a hint of a whisper.

  I nod. “I never left.”

  Her eyes widen and I know the whole thing is blowing up in my face. And I throw gasoline on the fire. Rising up out of my chair, I walk over to her and lean in close, placing a hand on either side of her hips on the bed. She leans back a bit, her narrowed eyes focused on mine.

  “I brought him to your door.”

  I feel her trembling. Feel the anger vibrating off her. And I lean a little closer. “I told him I knew where you were. And I led him to you.”

  She’s shaking her head slowly, like she doesn’t believe me.

  “And after you told him off, I pulled him into another room.” Tears are fast filling her eyes as she studies me intently. I feel her holding her breath, feel her anger and hate. “I hit him. I hit him until I felt bones in his face shatter under my knuckles.”

  I see her jolt. I smell the acrid fear rolling off her as she looks up at me like the monster I am.

  “I hit him until his teeth snapped out of his head. I hit him until I knew he was afraid I’d kill him.”

  She’s shrinking back, wilting like a plant.

  But I’m not done. Leaning in a little closer, I feel the corners of my lips curl into an evil semblance of a grin. “Then I branded him.”

  She’s lighting fast. I feel the pain before I realize she’d slapped me across the face. “How dare you try to intimidate me,” she says. “I’m not afraid of you.”

  But she fucking should be.

  Chapter Twenty Seven

  Caitlin

  After a full night’s sleep, nothing seems as ugly as it had last night in the dark when I’d been trying to fall asleep.

  Things are going my way. I’m in the process of buying my own house. I landed my dream job. I’ve got a guy who’s a little rough around the edges, but nothing I can’t live with. It’s not like I’m without damage of my own. And I can’t help but feel like our issues complement one another.

  Beside me, Axl’s still asleep. I feel his body jolt as he tenses up in whatever dream he’s having. And yesterday’s issues become today’s thoughts. It all makes more sense. Even his need to intimidate me makes sense. What better way to push me away than to try to scare me? Sure, he was wrong to do that, but he’s not perfect. His intentions were good, it was his execution that was poor.

  The sun is spilling over his cheekbones, lighting him up and casting shadows. I can’t help but run a fingertip along his powerful cheekbone.

  “You were trying to keep me safe,” I whisper, brushing his hair back. It’s getting a little shaggy. I don’t think he’s had it cut in the last couple weeks we’ve been together. His whole world has seemed to revolve around me.

  He’d been trying to keep me safe. And he’d set things up so that I’d have to face Carl, seemingly alone. But he’d been there the whole time. Keeping me safe. Making sure Carl didn’t pull anything. While still giving me the boost I needed. While letting me believe I’d done it on my own. He was there reminding me not to let the demons win.

  He opens his eyes, his pupils quickly shrinking to the side of pinpricks. I notice his thick eyelashes. The freckles in his eyes. His handsome brow line and the way his jaw flexes as he grits his teeth and swallows hard.

  “I forgive you,” I whisper, feeling my lips trying to curve into a smile. The words feel so good I have to say them again. “I forgive you.”

  His pupils spasm and he brings my hand to his lips. “You shouldn’t.” he says after pressing my hand to his mouth.

  Maybe he’s right.

  “I do.” And it feels good. We can argue his methods later. I can tell him never to use violence in my name again later. Right now, I want to tell him all the things I should have told him already.

  “Stay with me,” I whisper instead.

  “Okay,” he growls.

  And my heart begins to gallop in my chest. This has to be a joke. It can’t seriously have been that easy after all, can it?

  His eyes meet mine and he speaks again. “When we were looking at the house, I could see you chasing kids around that island.”

  I inhale in shock as heat floods every inch of my being at the thought.

  The corners of his mouth pull back into a dangerous grin. “I could see you making pancakes and sitting at the table doing homework and shitty macaroni crafts with them.”

  “Um, macaroni crafts are amazing, you dick,” I say and his eyes come back to me like he’s snapping out of some vision of the future.

  “I could see our teenaged daughter sneaking out with her brother watching over her.” That little grin is back.

  I feel like I’ve been hit by a train. Stunned, I stare at him.

  “It’s going to happen,” he says, his eyes narrowing a little as his intensity increases, “kids sneak out.”

  But that’s not the part that’s got me twisted up inside. “Our teenaged daughter?” I ask, unable to even breathe. My lungs are screaming and I have to force myself to inhale.

  His eyes tick back and forth between mine. “Our teenaged daughter and her older brother,” he confirms and I feel like my heart is trying to beat out of my chest. Not only was he imagining our children, kids we’d have together, he also was listening. He heard me when I mentioned I wanted a daughter second so she would have an older brother to keep her safe. Not only did he hear it, he committed it to memory and made it his plan.

  “You remembered,” I whisper, touched.

  But he’s not done. “A garden in our backyard. A fourth bedroom for your parents to stay in when they visit,” he says, “A dog.”

  I giggle and press a finger to his lips. “I’m a cat person.”

  I lean in and rub the tip of my nose against his. And I revel in the joy filling every cell of my being. He’s going to stay.

  His fingers slide through my hair and I shiver as he pulls my head toward him. Our eyes lock as his lips touch mine.

  “You’re mine,” he growls, then s
ighs like some great relief is sweeping through him. “I tried to fight it. Tried to tell myself you weren’t mine.”

  “I was yours the second I stepped foot in your shop,” I whisper against his lips.

  He growls his agreement and kisses me again.

  Epilogue

  Caitlin

  I peek out the window as my huge, scary ex biker husband digs in the dirt with our two year old son. Behind them, the black lab is flinging dirt up ten feet in the air behind him as he helps his humans. Or so he thinks.

  “Yep! Perfect,” Axl says as he and our son plant the seeds that’ll sprout soon enough. The first year we had our garden, we found out that little Dexter - named after his uncle Dex - loved the mashed carrots best. We’d grown them, pulled them up, washed them and just steamed and mashed them. It was a huge success. This year, we’re going to try to get him hooked on sweet potatoes, cauliflower, and fresh tomatoes.

  Axl watches our son shake the empty seed packet upside down and gives him a look of surprise and a smile. “It’s empty!” Dexter squeals, kicking his chubby little legs in the dirt.

  “Hey,” Dex says, scaring the cat as he walks up behind me. The cat hisses at him before racing off and he hisses right back at her. “Fucking cats,” he says, dropping a kiss on my cheek. “I’m not sorry. Cats are the devil.”

  Shaking my head with a rueful grin, I tell him, “The guys are out back,”

  He hesitates. “How are you feeling?” he asks, placing a box on the counter.

  “Like a whale,” I joke, placing a hand on my huge belly.

  He doesn’t say anything but arches an eyebrow at me and I point to the door. “Out,” I say as threateningly as I can. He’s gone in a second and I stare after him, shaking my head. He’s a good guy.

  I see the guys hug and Dex picks up Dexter and throws him over his head. And I smile. My life is freaking perfect. Everything fell into place exactly how I wanted it to. No, it’s all better than I ever hoped.

  My job is incredible. I help women in every step of the process I went through. I help them get out. I prove they’ve got a support system when they need it most. I was lucky, I got out. Others were not so lucky. And I fight like hell for the ones I meet.

  And I’m living proof that things can get better. That life doesn’t end with leaving the abuser. Heck, the day they leave is the day life really begins. It’s an uphill battle, but it’s worth every second.

  I glance out the window and see Axl looking at me while his brother plays with Dexter. He’s worked hard these last few years, opening up another bike shop but making it so he could mostly work from home. But He’s not working right now. Right now he’s on leave with me. Because I’m due to pop any day now. And he swore he’d be there every second.

  Pressing my hand flat to the window, I see him lift his like he’s reaching out to touch me and a smile crosses my face. I’d swear I’m more in love with him than I was in the beginning. Heck, I think I love him and my life more every day that passes.

  Dex runs the other bike and the guys swap parts, trade labor and otherwise bullshit often. They’ve grown dang near inseparable.

  Both love my parents. And my parents love them. Mom calls to tell me when Dex is in town and I always make sure to have a stock of oatmeal cookies for him when he visits – Grandma’s recipe.

  I feel little Helen – after Axl and Dex’s mother – kick and put a hand over the spot while Axl turns to chase Dexter around the yard. Then he’s it and both grown men run from him, but not so fast the toddler can’t catch them. There’s a huge grin on Dexter’s face and I can hear his giggle all the way in here while the dog bounces around them like a big happy idiot.

  Axl isn’t his dad. He’s a better man. One who tries not to miss a minute. He works short days, works at home most days, and lets little Dexter help him. Almost every day I come home, I find both my favorite guys are oil smudged, exhausted and happy.

  I walk over and open the sliding glass door. Little Dexter runs up and throws his arms around my knees while both guys halt like they’re guilty.

  “There’s beer in the fridge and cookies hidden somewhere in the house,” I tell Dex and see his gaze shift to the house. “I’d give them to you, but you know what you did.” That look after I said I feel like a whale. Jerk.

  Axl is studying me while the dog sits next to him and looks up at me. “Up!” Dexter says, but Axl scoops him up before I can forget I’m not supposed to life him right now.

  “Ready for dinner?” I ask and Axl leans in to kiss me.

  “Are you on the menu?” he growls and goose bumps break out over my skin as a shiver runs down my spine.

  “I will be tonight,” I promise. His gaze warns me he’s holding me to it as we head inside to sit down to dinner. I take his hand, reveling in him. He still puts all of my goals, all of my needs, and all of my wants before his own. I’m not sure how I got so lucky.

  But I do know one thing: I was right.

  People can change. We’re living proof.

  Dear reader, if you loved this book (or even if you didn’t!) please consider leaving a review. It helps other people make an informed decision about reading this book. Thank you!

  Other titles by Gabriel:

  ESCAPE

  Broken-hearted Ray Morgan feels like things can’t get worse. Her ex-girlfriend and her ex-boyfriend are in love and she’s taking it hard.

  After a drunken date gone wrong, she confides in a stranger she wants out. And he offers her a way out; on his boat. Sailing the world.

  She’d be crazy to sail off with this stranger.

  So why does she agree?

  Tate has never met a woman who got drunk, spilled all her ugliest secrets on him and then passed out instead of sleeping with him. But he’s drawn to her in a strange way. It’s refreshing to know the worst about someone; people always try to get on his best side.

  But she seems to have no idea who he is.

  And that’s just fine with him.

  (Scroll down to read Chapter one of ESCAPE!)

  ***

  A Twisted Step

  Luna’s got it rough.

  Her dad’s a bit of a jerk.

  Her step mom isn’t too nice either.

  Her step brother pretends she doesn’t exist.

  And Luna’s had enough.

  So when her step brother spots her in a restaurant and stares at her like he’s undressing her with his eyes before storming out, she snaps. She chases him to his truck. Gets in. Refuses to get out when he tells her to go.

  She’s not leaving without an apology.

  But he’s not apologizing; he’s driving. To his house. In the middle of nowhere.

  When she demands he take her home, he reminds her she got in his truck. And he’s not making that long trip again tonight.

  Thing is, she’s tired of feeling invisible to this man who clearly feels as drawn to her as she is to him. And she’s done letting him treat her like she doesn’t exist.

  ***

  A New Step

  I made my New Year’s resolution early because this year sucked.

  Start over. Check.

  Meet a great guy. Check.

  Be ready to kiss when the ball drops. Check.

  Everything’s going according to plan. Until Jaxon.

  Jaxon stopped my New Year’s kiss.

  Punched out my guy.

  Knew me.

  Last year sucked, but this year’s about to show me what pain really is.

  ***

  ESCAPE

  Chapter One

  Ray

  The door slams in my face. I want to pound my fists on it. Want to shout and swear and beg the man on the other side of it. I want to tell him that I loved his daughter more than anything. I want to tell him that Duncan was the only man I ever really loved. That these two people are the only ones who ever meant something to me in this miserable world.

  Life is so unfair.

  Even as my heart fractures along a fault, I
lift my chin into battle position. Turning around, I head toward my car as a guy walks past on the sidewalk.

  He arches a thick, dark eyebrow. “Rough day?” he asks in a velvet growl that makes my stomach twist.

  I want to hit him. Right in his handsome face. This random stranger is mocking me. What a jerk.

  “Yep,” I say with venom, “My ex-girlfriend’s dad hates me.” Usually that’s all it takes to devolve guys into slobbering idiots dreaming about threesomes. In my experience, anyway.

  I expect him to be shocked. To blink and maybe take a step back, both physically or mentally. At the very least, I expect him to struggle to find his next words that aren’t something lewd and disgusting.

  But he doesn’t miss a beat. “Sounds like a story you could tell over coffee,” he says with a winning grin.

  It’s my turn to be stunned, but only for half a second. “Smooth,” I say, turning toward my car in what I hope is an obvious dismissal of this insistent stranger.

  Like we’re old friends, he falls into step beside me. His quiet presence engulfs me, like he’s big enough to fill the whole outdoors and lends to his pushy feel. My aching heart pounds in my chest, reminding me of all the sorrow I’ve been through these last few weeks.

  I don’t need to have my heart broken again. I should be swearing off all relationships right now and protecting myself from this kind of agony. Especially from big, attractive, quiet guys that seem to have a strange effect on my heartbeat.

  At my car door, I turn to him. “Look,” I say and his hazel eyes lock on my face like I’m the only person in the whole world. My breath catches at the intensity in his expression. That’s the look of a starving man eyeing his next meal. My heart stumbles in my chest and I struggle to find my fire.

  “I just found out the girl I used to love and the guy I still love are together.” The words are like claws plunging deeper in my chest until it’s hard to breathe. My voice grates around the sudden painful lump in my throat. “I’ve had a rough day and I’m not up for a date. Thanks anyway.”