Worth the Wait

by Chasity Bowlin

  “I could promise you that I would not, but when our shared history has shown the value of my promises to be so minimal, it would hardly matter… You can either have faith in me, Augusta, in us, or you cannot. But the time for half measures is past.”

  There was a challenge in his words. He had lobbed the volley and it was now entirely in her hands to respond. “All or nothing, then?”

  “I’ve never been much for gambling, but in this instance, I’m certainly willing to take the risk… are you?”

  She didn’t know. “To what end, Hugh? What is it that you want from me?”

  He smiled sadly and it simply melted her. “I want what I have always wanted, Augusta. A life with you.”

  “I am not the girl you once knew. You must see that the life I have lived has altered me and you may find that you do not like the woman I have become.” It was a difficult admission to make, to confess that the hardness she had affected for so many years had become a part of her that she could not easily shed.

  “Neither of us are the people we once were. We are both changed by the things we have experienced since then. But what I feel for you has naught to do with the pretty manners you display at a ball or your ability to simper convincingly. The very traits that prompted my love for you are still there, Augusta, shining as brightly as ever. Your honesty, your lack of artifice, the kindness you show to those who are closest to you, your careful, caring nature… Those things are unchanged. As for the other, I would know you—beauty, flaws and all.”

  “How did all this come about? Why did Daisy Atwell go to these extremes to bring us together?” she asked, still not quite certain of whether or not she could allow herself to fall so recklessly again.

  “Daisy was very close to Felicity. They were very dear friends… and I imagine that she is carrying out Felicity’s last wishes. She asked me to find you, you know,” he confessed. “On her death bed, she expressed remorse for what she had done, for being duped by my mother and playing a part in her schemes. I refused. In part because it felt wrong to talk of such a thing at a time like that and in part, I think, because I was terrified to face you, to look into your eyes and see not anger or hatred, but complete indifference.”

  “I am not indifferent. I wanted to be, heaven knows… I attempted to be and I have failed miserably in the execution of it,” she admitted with a self deprecating smile. “I’ve behaved horribly since I arrived. I’ve been rude and ill tempered. Why on earth would you wish to renew an acquaintance with me, much less a romantic entanglement?”

  “Because you make me angry, you make my blood roil and my heart pound. You frustrate me and confound me at every turn. And for the first time in twelve years, I feel alive again.”

  Hugh watched her reaction, the soft parting of her lips and the way her eyes widened in surprise. It was an opportunity he would not waste. Perhaps it was wrong to take advantage of the situation, both of them stranded by the weather, her injured. But another moment like it might not come, and he’d wasted too much time already.

  He moved quickly, sliding one hand into the slipping chignon of her dark hair, he tugged her head down and covered her lips with his own. The sweet taste of her was more intoxicating than any brandy he had ever consumed. She made a soft sound of surprise but did not resist.

  Rising onto his knees, until they were face to face, he deepened the kiss. He needed to show her, needed her to understand not just how much he desired her but also how much he cherished her. If he could only show her the depth of his feelings for her, then she would know once and for all that she could trust him.

  Pulling his lips from hers, he laid a trail of kisses along the tender curve of her jaw, along the column of her throat. Her head fell back and a soft sigh escaped her as she sank against him.

  “I’ve wanted this for so long,” he whispered against her ear.

  “I am out of my depth. I have no idea what I want… I only know that I do not want you to stop touching me,” she confessed breathlessly.

  “Then let us begin by finally getting you out of those wet clothes,” he suggested.

  She blushed, but nodded her assent.

  He rose and moved away from her long enough to light the fire in the hearth. When it was blazing, he turned back to her and noted that she had begun removing her clothes and then stopped. Her pelisse had been draped carefully over the back of a chair, and her spencer had been removed. But from there, she seemed to have lost her nerve.

  “Have you changed your mind then?” he asked, praying that he was wrong. He had remained faithful to Felicity throughout their marriage, though passion had never been a part of their relationship. He’d never desired a woman as he desired Augusta, as he always had.

  “No. It isn’t that at all… It’s more… a matter of not knowing how to proceed. I’m at a distinct disadvantage in light of what I will confess is total ignorance.”

  Relieved, he moved toward her, closing the distance between them. “Then let me assist you.”

  Carefully, each movement measured and slow, he unlaced her gown and let it fall to the floor. Her petticoat was next. All were serviceable garments in sturdy fabric and devoid of any but the barest ornamentation when she should have been wearing fine silk and lace. That would be rectified, he thought. Soon, she would live the life that she had been intended for and not that which had been forced upon her by the devious intervention of others.

  When she was clad only in her shift and stays, he met her shuttered gaze and made an offer he prayed she’d refuse. “If you’re having doubts, now is the time to tell me, Augusta. This need go no further.”

  She looked up the, meeting his gaze directly. “I have many doubts, but if I stop now, I’ll only be plagued by different doubts tomorrow. I’m damned if I do and damned if I do not… but this way I’ll finally know what it is to be yours.”

  He pulled her close, pressed her against him and pressed a tender kiss to her forehead. “You have always been mine… and I have always been yours, whether we could act upon or not.”

  Augusta felt the weight of him against her, the heat of him pressed against her. It was comforting and maddening all at once. It eased one ache only to create another. She longed for things she could not name.

  When he kissed her again, it was still tender, but so very different. There was a weight to it, a sense of expectation because they both knew that kiss was only a beginning and that there was much more to follow. His hands dropped to her waist, splaying over the curve of her hips, his fingers digging gently into her flesh in a proprietary manner. He was claiming her and she was eager to let him.

  The laces of her stays were freed without her even realizing he’d done so. The garment parted and then he slipped it easily from her shoulders. Standing before him in only her shift, she wondered that she did not feel embarrassed or shy. Certainly those emotions were present to some degree, but they were buried under excitement and curiosity. Desire, she admitted to herself. She had never desired any other man. Her heart had never raced, her stomach never fluttered, nor her skin tingled at the presence of anyone save for Hugh.

  Everywhere he touched her, everywhere he pressed his lips to her skin, she burned. Her heart thundered in her chest and blood rushed in her veins at a dizzying pace. She wasn’t quite sure how it even happened, that he’d maneuvered her closer to the bed, pressed her back until they were both lying there, only the thinnest layers of cloth between them.

  She gasped at the brush of his fingers along the underside of her breast. It gave way to a whimper when he closed his hand fully over that tender flesh. Every touch seemed to bring her back to life. It was as if she’d grown numb to everything and finally sensation was returning to her. But nothing could have prepared her for the overwhelming feeling of his mouth as he closed it gently over the peak of her breast. Heat rushed through her, pooling low in her belly until she had to clench her thighs together. As his tongue moved over that sensitive bud, her hands coiled in his hair, holding him to her, willing
him not to stop. Their kiss had been only a prelude to the magic wrought by his lips.

  His hands roamed over her flesh, soothing by one turn and enflaming by another. Augusta was overwhelmed by the influx of sensation. She simply couldn’t comprehend it all. Her mind was awhirl and all she could do was let those sensations sweep her away.

  “I’ve wanted you for so long… We’ve lost so much time,” he whispered.

  “Then let’s not lose anymore,” she urged.

  It was all the encouragement he required. He gathered her shift in his hands, tugging it upward and then slipping it from her entirely. Bared to him completely, there was no shyness or reticence. As his gaze roamed over her, she gloried in his obvious admiration, in the desire she saw so clearly in his gaze.

  As she felt the sensation of one his hands sliding along her inner thigh, she tensed for a moment. But it was what she wanted. He was what she wanted. She forced herself to relax, to let him guide her.

  When he touched her intimately, it was a shock but that soon gave way only to pleasure. His fingers moved over her with exquisite precision that her breath caught, held. Her head fell back, her eyes closed and a soft moan escaped her as her body tensed, everything in her drawing taut. Her release came quickly, her breath escaping on a shattered cry as the waves of pleasure coursed through her. It was beyond anything she had anticipated.

  He moved atop her, parting her thighs with his knees. She could feel the hardness of him pressing against her and she welcomed it eagerly, to be one with him.

  The pain was minimal and had been expected but it faded quickly, leaving only the alien sensation of fullness. She moved, adjusting to the sensation.

  “Stay still, Augusta, I beg you,” he said between clenched teeth.

  “Did I do something wrong?”

  “I’m doing all that I can to maintain control, Augusta. I want to make this perfect for you,” he admitted.

  She cupped his face with her hands. “It is, Hugh, it is. I didn’t know I could feel this way.”

  Hugh grit his teeth, struggling to rein in his raging desire. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself in her, to ease the ache of wanting her for so very long. Moving slowly, pressing deeper, he felt her tense. But the sound she made assured him it was only pleasure she felt in that moment.

  He set a rhythm for them, slow, deep strokes that had her straining against him, her hips rising to meet each thrust. By sheer will he managed to stave off his own release until he knew that she was hovering on the brink. Her thighs trembled against his hips, her belly quivered. With her eyes closed and her head thrown back, she tumbled over that precipice and he followed. He was lost then and with one final thrust let his release take him.

  In the aftermath, they lay there together, limbs entwined, silent but for the sound of their ragged breathing. It was the most perfect moment of his life and he would not spoil it by uttering words that would never adequately convey what he felt. Instead, he kissed her—her lips, her cheek, her forehead. And when her lips curved upward in the sweetest smile he’d ever beheld, he kissed her again simply because he could.

  Their idyllic tryst, alone, stranded by foul weather and in a setting too romantic to be anything other than strategy, would not last forever. But he meant to enjoy every moment of it while he could.

  Chapter 13

  No more guests had been expected, especially given the nasty turn of the weather and the fact that traveling in it was to risk life and limb. Yet the commotion in the foyer of a new arrival was such that no one at Seffington Park could be unaware of it. Following scurrying servants and the Misses Tate who finally seemed to notice someone other than one another, Rachel wondered at what could be happening. As she descended the stairs a feeling of dread settled in her stomach.

  “Oh, of course you are welcome, my lady! Naturally, we sent your invitation but it… must have been mislaid by the post. Those drivers are a menace! Coaches tearing up and down the road at all hours of the day and night! Is it any wonder that they are so unreliable? When do they rest? I cannot imagine a more ineffective way of managing one’s employees than to work them to a state of exhaustion that does not allow them to properly attend their duties.”

  Listening to Daisy’s longwinded excuse and wild tangent, it was clear that the woman, whomever her ladyship might be, had not been invited at all. As she reached the bottom of the stairs, Rachel only just managed not to gasp. The sheer number of bags that had been carted into the foyer was obscene. She’d never seen a person travel with so many.

  “Have your footmen come and carry my bags up. I assume you have a suitable chamber for me and that I will not be relegated to the servant’s hall?” the woman asked imperiously.

  She was probably in her sixties, but well dressed and incredibly well preserved. No one would ever have described her as beautiful though. There was a hardness about the woman that would have prevented her from being called anything other than passably handsome.

  “We would never place you in such humble quarters, Lady Elwynn,” Daisy said, throwing a pointed look in Rachel’s direction.

  Rachel’s feeling of dread, already significant, swamped her in that moment. Lord Elwynn’s mother had arrived.

  “As to your invitation being mislaid, Mrs. Atwell,” the woman said stiffly, “You needn’t try to pretty it up for me. Mrs. Brandon wrote to inform me of the schemes being hatched here at Seffington Park. I have put myself at great risk and faced terrible ordeals on this difficult journey to save my son! I’ve come to put a stop to this nonsense once and for all. I’ll not have that shocking little adventuress sink her greedy claws into my son a second time. Where is he?”

  “He went for a ride in the direction of Wynn House,” Rachel said, stepping forward. “I’m sure when the weather turned he took refuge there. No doubt he will send word as soon as it is safe to do so.”

  Lady Elwynn narrowed her eyes and her mouth turned down in a sour expression. “Who are you to speak so impertinently to me?”

  Daisy tittered nervously. “Oh dear, Lady Elwynn, please allow me to introduce my cousin, Mrs. Rachel Wilmont.”

  “Forgive me, Lady Elwynn. I did not think it impertinent when the information I possessed was in direct answer to your question,” Rachel replied in an easy tone, despite her shaking hands.

  Lady Elwynn’s expression grew thoughtful. “And where is Mr. Wilmont?”

  “I am a widow, Lady Elwynn,” Rachel lied smoothly.

  “Are you any relation to the Wilmonts of Derbyshire?”

  She was not related to them, not by blood at any rate. “No, ma’am, I am not.”

  “Hmmmph. Then find me Miss Penworth. I will have it out with her once and for all.”

  “Miss Penworth is ill. A fever. Quite contagious,” Rachel lied.

  “And in this house?” Lady Elwynn asked, obviously gleeful at the notion.

  “It is not a serious illness in one so young and healthy as Miss Penworth, but if one is aged or in ill health, it could be very worrisome indeed,” Daisy said, taking the lie that Rachel had spun and running with it full tilt. “Several of the maids had it and have recovered, but some of the women from the village have passed from it sadly. A lung ailment. Quite terrible.”

  Lady Elwynn eyed them both suspiciously. “I will let these blatant fabrications stand because I am wet and tired. Have one of these sickly servants of yours show me to a room, Mrs. Atwell, and I will see both my son and that trollop in the morning or there will be a reckoning!”

  Daisy waved one of the footmen over and gave him instructions on where to put Lady Elwynn. When she’d left and another bevy of servants had come to cart all of her bags up the stairs, Rachel dared to ask the question, “What on earth do we do now?”

  “Drink,” Daisy replied with feeling. “Drink and perhaps hide.”

  It was full dark when Augusta awoke. The only light in the room was the dim glow of a dying fire. Alone in the bed, she sat up only to see Hugh standing by the window.

&nb
sp; “The ice and rain have turned to snow,” he said. “If we get enough of it, I can ride to Wynn House after daybreak and get the sleigh for our return to Seffington Park.”

  “Must we go back? Can we not stay here and pretend that things like social status, meddling friends and our rocky past simply do not exist?” she asked, a wistful smile curving her lips. Following their initial battle and all that had come afterward, they’d settled into an easy peace with one another. She was loathe to see it spoiled by others.

  “I’m afraid we must. But we need not stay long… We will be married as soon as it can be arranged,” he said. “If you do not wish to reside at Wynn House, we can go anywhere you like. London, Bath, I have an estate in the North that you might prefer.”

  Augusta blinked in shock. “Hugh, we cannot marry! It would ruin you!”

  “I don’t give a damn,” he said easily. “I married a woman I did not love. I wasted twelve years of my life in a limbo of never living. And I cared for Felicity, I did… but we were never truly happy. She died never knowing what it was to be truly loved. I’m not going to live that way anymore, Augusta, I won’t do it. If my family wishes to break with me over it, that is their choice. If friends wish to turn from me then they were not my friends to start.”

  “It cannot be that simple,” she insisted. The weight of all that he’d said was pressing on her. More than that, the spark of hope that had flared to life in her when she’d first set eyes on him on the road, was now a raging fire inside her. She wanted to quash it, to rein it in before she allowed herself to envision happy endings that could not be. “Can it?”

  “It can be. It will be if you only allow it.”

  “I can’t think of it now… My mind is still whirling and it’s difficult for me to accept.”

  He frowned as he moved back to the bed, settling beside her there. “Do you believe that I love you?”