Worth the Wait

by Chasity Bowlin

  “I believe that you loved me once. And I think that given time to learn who we are now, we might love one another again… But I have no guarantee of that.”

  His smile was both sad and pitying as he brushed her hair away from her face. “There are never guarantees in love. There is only risk with an outcome of ruin or reward. Risk it, Augusta, I implore you.”

  “Is it so easy for you then? What if I break your heart this time?” she demanded.

  “I think that for the happiness I have known in the past few hours, if I could have that, even for a short time, it would be worth it. You had heartbreak and so much tragedy in your life, Augusta… but for the longest time I had nothing. There were no highs or lows, only this frustrating and mind numbing middle where I simply existed. I think I would rather have my heart broken than to simply let it waste away.”

  “What a romantic you are!”

  “You can call it what you like, but I’m tired of only existing. And if watching Felicity grow weaker every day, wasting away before me, taught me anything, it’s that life should be lived and not simply borne.”

  The statement struck a cord within her that thrummed with truth. She’d been existing, no more than that — forcing herself to espouse false contentment with her lot in life because it was easier to accept the misery that was than to hope for more and be disappointed. It was a sad and lonely excuse for a life, walled off from any chance at true happiness.

  Taking a deep breath, Augusta rose from the bed and left the safety of the blankets behind her. Standing before him, she was completely naked—devoid of clothing, but also her defenses. “Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” she said softly. “I’m tired of being afraid to be happy because it might be taken from me.”

  He closed the distance between them and swept her into his arms. She felt safe and secure for the moment. That was where she would learn to live, she vowed. In each moment, savoring what she had while she had it without fear leading her to make dire predictions of how the future would fail.

  Hugh lifted her into his arms, but not to place her on the bed. Instead, he strode toward the hearth now blazing with a newly fed fire. Placing her on the rug there, he came down beside her.

  The firelight gilded her flesh, painting it in shades of gold like a pagan goddess. She would think him a romantic fool if he were to say such, so he kept his musings to himself and simply savored the vision she presented. Looking at her was a pleasure too long denied him.

  “You’ve no idea how beautiful you are,” he said.

  “I’m not. I’m passably pretty… and that isn’t an attempt at fishing for compliments. That is what was said of me by the hostesses at Almack’s during my Season,” she stated.

  “And what would they know about it? I daresay those women haven’t the faintest inkling what appeals to a man. If they did, they’d have the person who makes that lemonade drawn and quartered,” he retorted.

  She laughed aloud at that, a delightfully carefree giggle that he had not heard in years. There’d been little enough reason for her to laugh, but that would change, he vowed. Every remaining day of his life would be devoted to seeing her smile and hearing her laugh in just that way.

  “When the weather breaks, we’ll head for London,” he said. “I’ll procure a special license and we’ll be wed immediately.”

  “Are you certain that is what you want?” she asked, searching his face. “I couldn’t bear it if you were to regret your choice.”

  “I’ve regrets enough in my life, and they can all be traced back to the moment I let you go… There are no doubts, Augusta.”

  “Then we shell set society ablaze with scandal… again,” she agreed.

  “Perhaps we should do something scandalous now,” he suggested, sliding his hand over her belly and down to the thatch of dark curls nestled between her thighs.

  Her eyes darkened and her voice, when she replied, was breathless, “What did you have in mind, my lord?”

  “Some things defy description in mere words,” he said, sliding his fingers into the wet, welcoming heat of her body. “They can only be truly understood through demonstration.”

  “Then consider me your apt and very eager pupil.”

  Hugh smiled as he kissed her soundly, until they were both breathless and aching. Then he showed her precisely what he’d had in mind.

  Chapter 14

  Morning had broken bright and clear, but there was a heavy blanket of snow outside. It was just enough that Hugh had been willing to risk heading to Wynn House for the sleigh.

  Augusta had just finished dressing in her still damp clothes when she heard a commotion downstairs. Curious and more than a little alarmed, she limped down the stairs to find Daisy Atwell pacing nervously.

  “Oh, dear! Oh, dear heavens! Look at you,” she cried. “We’ll have to sneak you in through the kitchens or everyone will see. A blind man could tell what you’ve been about, you wicked, wicked girl!”

  “Mrs. Atwell, isn’t this precisely what you and Rachel had in mind when she tricked me into coming here and the two of you together tricked Hugh into following?”

  “Hugh? No, no, no… Lord Elwynn. By all means, let’s maintain some semblance of formality, my girl, whether it is false or not,” Daisy admonished. “Now, come along and get into the sleigh so I can take you back to Seffington Park before disaster strikes and your utter ruin is discovered.”

  “I’m a woman of thirty, a confirmed spinster, and I’ve already been embroiled in more scandal than I care to admit,” Augusta said grimly. “Surely, this cannot be so very bad?”

  “You have no idea, Miss Penworth, just how bad it can be!”

  “Lord Elwynn has gone to fetch his sleigh. He will be concerned to return and find me gone,” Augusta protested.

  “We’ll leave him a note. Not to worry,” Daisy said, crossing to a small table and removing some paper from the drawer along with a bottle of ink and a quill. “I’ll just explain that I came to fetch you to avoid any undue discussion about your moral character… or lack thereof. If anyone asks we’ll say that you went for a morning sleigh ride with me to see the countryside and took a tumble as you stepped out. No one need know what sort of tumble!”

  Augusta blushed furiously at the woman’s double entendre. It had been her machinations that had thrown them together to begin with and now Augusta was terribly confused. Both Daisy Atwell and Rachel had worked tirelessly to see them stranded together and when their plan worked, suddenly they were reversing course and extolling the virtues of abstinence.

  Collecting her pelisse, Augusta draped it over her shoulders and followed Daisy out to the waiting sleigh. Once inside, tucked beneath several warm blankets, they began the journey back to Seffington Park. Augusta started to speak, but Daisy shushed her and pointed toward the driver with a warning glance.

  She leaned over and whispered to Augusta, “Never trust your servants with things you don’t want known, my dear. Gossip is currency below stairs!”

  They were wise words from a surprising source.

  “I’m so sorry we couldn’t come for you last night! How terrified you must have been spending the night all alone in that cottage after you twisted your ankle… So very brave, my dear,” Daisy said, her voice carrying to be heard over the horses’ hooves.

  Augusta didn’t respond. She didn’t wish to lie but since Mrs. Atwell was in attempting to salvage what was left of her already tattered reputation, it seemed counterproductive to gainsay her. Remaining quiet, the rest of the short drive was made in silence.

  “Take us to the kitchen doors,” Daisy directed. “We’ll need to get a poultice for Miss Penworth’s ankle before she attempts those stairs!”

  Augusta again said nothing, but her eyebrows arced upward in surprise. Daisy Atwell was a consummate liar. The woman could have easily worked as an operative for the Crown given her quick thinking and obvious ease with untruths.

  When they arrived, the coachman helped them down and they headed inside.
Augusta leaned more heavily on Daisy than was necessary, but when she’d attempted to walk upright, the woman had elbowed her in the ribs. Once in the kitchen, Daisy began issuing orders.

  “We need a poultice and fresh bandages for Miss Penworth’s ankle, please. Have Alice go to her room and fetch her a morning dress to get changed out of these wet things before she catches her death… poor dear, trapped by this awful storm with her injured ankle! I do hope you don’t take a chill from this. I think once we’ve got you changed, you should go right up to bed and stay there all day… Warm under the blankets with a fire blazing in the hearth. We can bring your breakfast on a tray!”

  Suspicion was an ugly thing but Augusta had little reason to doubt that Daisy Atwell was up to something. Once her ankle had been wrapped and a foul smelling poultice applied to it, they began making their way up the servants’ stairs. Alone in that dim environ, Augusta felt no qualms about confronting her hostess.

  “You have suddenly developed doubts or misgivings about your much less than subtle efforts to throw me in Lord Elwynn’s path. I want to know why,” she said crisply.

  Daisy stopped on the stair above her, turned and with her hand to her throat uttered a cry of dismay. “Oh, no! Heavens no! That isn’t it at all… I’ve never in my life been more convinced that two people belong together. Rachel felt the same as did poor Felicity. She was wracked with guilt over what had been done to you, but we had been misled, Miss Penworth.”

  “She had been misled, you mean?” Augusta asked, noting the slip of the tongue.

  Mrs. Atwell gasped and covered her mouth with her fingers as if she’d uttered something awful. Collecting herself, she managed, “Nothing, my dear. I meant nothing by it. And again, I believe wholeheartedly that you and Lord Elwynn simply belong together.”

  “But?”

  “But his mother arrived unexpectedly yesterday. I would never have invited Mrs. Brandon if I had known that she would be so opposed to the match and that she would immediately send word to Lady Elwynn,” Daisy confessed.

  Augusta felt weak kneed and sick. Dizziness swept through her and she had to place her palm against the wall to steady herself as the implications of what Mrs. Atwell had just shared with her fully sank in. Far more than Hugh’s withdrawal of his offer, more than the broken heart she had suffered at the painful reality of his marriage to another woman, it was Lady Elwynn and her machinations that were at the root of all the pain she had suffered and the horrible humiliations that had followed.

  “I cannot remain in this house with her,” Augusta stated firmly. “I will return to the cottage and wait until she is gone.”

  “No, please!” Daisy urged. “Once Hugh arrives he will take care of everything. I assure you. He will set her on her way and no more will be spoken of it. I only hoped to get you into the house undetected to avoid any ugly scenes with her… I promise that is all. I have no shame whatsoever in our association or in bringing you here into my home. My shame is that I did not defend you years ago when Lady Elwynn made it her mission in life to see your name bandied about by every gossip in society.”

  “Why would you have defended me? You did not even know me. You do not know me now.” There was something so curious about Mrs. Atwell’s investment in the future of herself and Lord Elwynn that belied her position as simply an observer or an idle matchmaker.

  “The night of the Fairmont Ball,” Mrs. Atwell began, and then paused to take a deep, fortifying breath. It was one of the few times the woman had actually appeared to be at a loss for words. “That night, I was the one who penned the note. I had overheard your conversation with—no. If I’m going to confess, I must confess all. I had been set to spy on you and Lord Elwynn by Lady Elwynn and Mrs. Redmond, Felicity’s mother. Felicity and I had been told that you were an opportunist and had been told this by those we trusted. Never in our wildest imaginings did we think that they would have lied simply to serve their own ends. We were very young and incredibly naive.”

  “What did you do? The why of it is no longer important,” Augusta said, worn out by the excuses and the lies of everyone around her.

  “I overheard your conversation with Hugh about scandalous behavior… And I wrote a note referencing that conversation to lure him to the drawing room for a tryst that he would believe was with you only to have Felicity awaiting him. When she realized the depth of his feelings for you, she urged him to make his escape… but it was too late. Mrs. Redmond, Lady Elwynn, Lady Fairmont and I were there to spring the trap… I helped them and I have been consumed by the guilt for years!”

  Augusta was taken aback. It was simply too much to take in all at once. Silently, she stood there and waited for anger to consume her, to overtake her as it had so frequently in the past. But looking into Daisy Atwell’s face, now the very picture of contrition, it was impossible to call upon it.

  Daisy continued, “I know that you will never forgive me, Miss Penworth. In truth you have no reason to do so, but please trust that in this instance my heart is very much in the right place and I am attempting, as best as I possibly can, to make amends for all that I have done. I only beg of you, please do not allow your very justified hatred of me to reflect poorly on Rachel. She is innocent of all of this, save for helping Felicity and I to hatch our scheme to right the wrongs we had committed.”

  “I could not hate you, Mrs. Atwell. You have been all that is kind to me since I arrived and I understand what it is to be misled, to have the truth concealed from you or bent to the purposes of those we love and trust. I trusted my grandfather, after all, and he made a terrible muddle of everything. But if there is one true villain of the piece, that title must fall solidly on the shoulders of Lady Elwynn. So, please, worry no more that I might be harboring a grudge against you because I do not.”

  Daisy reached for her, pulling her into a fierce hug that, given the difference in their perches on the stairs resulted in Augusta’s face being pressed firmly into the other woman’s ample bosom. “What a dear, kind and forgiving soul you are, Miss Penworth!” she exclaimed. “I cannot say how relieved I am to know that I have your forgiveness! Let us get you to your room… We have told Lady Elwynn that you are ill so she should not seek you out! Once Lord Elwynn is here, he will deal with her and the whole matter will be done with!”

  It had been Augusta’s experience that things rarely went so smoothly as that, but she would not be the one to rob Mrs. Atwell of hope. “Then lead on, Mrs. Atwell. I will gladly hide in my

  Chapter 15

  Hugh was driving the sleigh faster than safety would allow. But after arriving at the cottage to find it empty, he’d been in a panic. The discovery of Mrs. Atwell’s remarkably terse note informing him that she’d taken Augusta back to Seffington Park and that his mother was now in attendance had set his blood running cold. He could only imagine how horribly wrong things might go with the two of them under the same roof.

  Augusta was entitled to her anger and her grudge against his mother. While she understood his mother was a vicious person with no qualms of indulging in true malice, he doubted that Augusta could truly appreciate the depths to which she would willingly sink in order to get her way.

  As he turned up the drive to Seffington Park, the horses slipped a bit but managed to regain their footing. Slowing them considerably, he had to account for the fact that his death due to his own recklessness would offer Augusta little in the way of protection from Lady Elwynn.

  After what seemed like an interminable amount of time, imagining all the vile things his mother would say to her should they meet, he finally reached the front entrance. Jumping down, he tossed the reins to a waiting servant and rushed inside. The sound of voices coming from above stairs told him he was already too late.

  They’d no more than exited the servants’ stairs than disaster met them head on. Mrs. Bradford and Lady Elwynn were waiting for them outside Augusta’s chamber door. Rachel was there, along with Alice, attempting to hold them at bay.

  “What is the
meaning of this?” Lady Elwynn demanded. “I was told the chit was on her deathbed and yet she looks quite well enough to me.”

  “They are liars, the lot of them,” Mrs. Bradford added unnecessarily.

  “I believe that has been long since established,” Augusta answered her with an imperiously arched eyebrow. “I’ve no intention of speaking to either one of you, so you can sit in the corridor until you rot.”

  Lady Elwynn stepped forward, blocking Augusta’s path as she made for the door to her room. “I will not be dismissed by some opportunistic little trollop with a background in trade who hasn’t a tuppence to her name! You forget yourself!”

  “On the contrary, Lady Elwynn. I have finally remembered myself,” Augusta stated firmly. “I am the daughter of a gentleman and I was raised to behave thusly. It is you, with your lies and schemes, your vindictiveness and your vicious attempts to control your son to suit your own greed that reeks of a background in trade. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I would like to retire to my room. I’ve no wish to stand in the corridor screeching like a fishwife!”

  As Augusta moved past her, the older woman grasped her arm and held her fast. “You will not walk away from me until I have finished with you! I halted your attempts to sink your claws into my son once before and I will do so again… Do not think for one moment that I will allow you to step foot into the hallowed halls of Wynn House and disgrace it with your presence!”

  “It is you, mother, who will not step foot into Wynn House again.”

  Augusta felt a relief unlike anything she’d ever experienced at the sound of his voice. There was little doubt that he’d heard the entire exchange. No doubt, everyone in the house had.

  “I forbid it, Fitzhugh! I will not see this adventuress take up residence in my home!”

  Hugh closed the distance between them and when he reached out, he forcefully removed his mother’s hand from Augusta’s arm. “You tried that once before and it had little effect on me. That is why you resorted to lies, schemes, blackmail and vicious gossip to get your way. I’ll not make that mistake again. I will be married to Augusta… by special license and as soon as possible. Scandal, and you, be damned.”