A Wyoming Christmas to Remember

by Melissa Senate

  “Because of the twins, I mean,” Cole said. “I’m gonna volunteer with kids twice a week when I don’t even take care of my own?” There was a sheen in his eyes, and he turned away.

  Oh, hell. “Hey,” Sawyer said, putting an arm around Cole’s shoulder. “It’s all about building a life that allows for fatherhood. The job at the ranch. Coming here. Working on who you are in positive ways. How you were with Jake, how you got this other kid up and playing? That says a lot about the kind of father you can be, Cole.”

  “You think I could be a decent dad?” He looked away again, biting his lip.

  “Of course I think you could be. You just have to show up. And by that I mean you have to make a commitment in your head, in here,” he said, bumping Cole’s chest, “that your sons come first. Once you do that, everything else falls into place.”

  “Dinnertime yet?” Cole asked again. “I think I’m all talked out.”

  Sawyer smiled. “Actually, yes.”

  “Hey, wait,” Cole said. “I just realized I’ll be going from conversations I don’t want to have here to conversations I don’t want to have at your house.”

  “But the twins are there, right? That’s why you have to deal.”

  Cole bit his lip again. “Still doesn’t feel real. They don’t feel like mine, Sawyer. Is that weird?”

  “I don’t know. They feel like mine. Is that weird?”

  Sawyer froze. They did feel like his. Which was the opposite of what Maddie had been talking about. Shane and Max didn’t feel like nephews. They felt like his children.

  For a moment he couldn’t move, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think.

  “You okay?” Cole asked. “’Cause you don’t look it.”

  Sawyer wasn’t sure what he was.

  * * *

  “And those four red ones with the big silver bows are for you, Max,” Maddie said, pointing at the brightly wrapped gifts under the tree. “And Shane, those four silver ones with the red bows are yours. What could they be? I know—and you’re both going to love everything, but you can’t open them until Christmas. No peeking either.”

  Both babies were staring at the twinkling, beautiful tree from their carriers beside her. She was sitting cross-legged in front of the tree, rearranging the stacks of gifts that had grown today. She might have gone a little overboard in MacLeod’s, where she insisted on paying and finally relented to an employee discount when her mother wouldn’t hear of a MacLeod paying retail. She’d gotten clothing and books and little stuffed animals for the boys, and then she’d done some shopping for her family in the wonderful shops on Main Street, buying her mom a pretty necklace and new fuzzy slippers she’d hinted she wanted, and for her sister a book on baby’s first year and a gift certificate to the Wedlock Creek Day Spa for a massage and mani-pedi. She’d gotten her dad the Irish fisherman sweater he’d been coveting from the L.L.Bean catalog, and she bought a big rawhide chew for Moose. For Cole she’d purchased a rugged watch with a cowboy on a horse on the center dial that she thought he’d like. All that was left on her list was Sawyer, and she was having a hard time coming up with a special gift for him. Luckily she still had a few days till Christmas Eve.

  “Want to hear something crazy, boys?” she asked, turning to the babies. “I don’t actually know if we open our gifts on Christmas Eve or on Christmas morning. No memory of that whatsoever. I’ll have to ask Sawyer what our tradition is.”

  She heard his key in the lock and stood up, a baby carrier in each hand. Sawyer came in with Cole behind him, and unless it was her wishful imagination, both men looked relaxed and happy.

  “Wow, something smells amazing,” Cole said, sniffing the air. “What’s for dinner?”

  Maddie tried to keep the frown off her face. She’d expected Cole to rush over to the twins, marvel at their very being, ask how their day was. But Cole’s first thought had been about how good the house smelled.

  Was she being judgmental? Maybe. She slid a glance over at Sawyer, who was hanging up his and Cole’s jackets. If he’d noticed, too, he didn’t show it.

  This is all new to Cole. Being here with the twins. Time with his brother. She’d been telling Sawyer to ease up; now she’d have to apply that to herself.

  “I had a craving for pasta Bolognese and garlic bread,” she said. She had to admit the house did smell delicious.

  “I always have a craving for that,” Cole said with a smile. He looked at the twins and gave a quick smile. “And here I thought babies cried all the time.” He seemed fidgety and then sat down on the sofa. “They look so content.”

  Aw, he’s just nervous, she realized. These are his sons, and he doesn’t feel connected to them because they’ve been here. This has to be really hard for him.

  She brought the carriers over to the sofa and put them down, taking out Max. “This little guy was asking when you’d be over. He kept saying, ‘Is it dinnertime yet?’”

  Cole smiled and held out his arms. Maddie carefully transferred him. “When will they actually start talking? Six months?”

  “More like around eighteen months—there’s a big range. According to my mom, I said only five words until my second birthday, then I never shut up.”

  “Was one of those words cake?” Cole asked. “You’re a cake fiend.”

  Cake... Maddie froze as a memory overtook her.

  * * *

  She was in the kitchen, but it was dark, and she’d opened the refrigerator to sneak a piece of the chocolate cake with incredible mocha icing from her birthday celebration earlier in the evening. She heard someone coming down the stairs quietly, as if trying not wake the house—either Sawyer or Cole, since he’d asked to crash for a couple of days.

  Moose was beside her, clearly hoping for a small bit of cake, which he was not going to get, and he hadn’t alerted, so she assumed it was Sawyer, though Cole had paid him a lot of attention earlier, throwing ball after ball in the yard, so Moose likely thought of him as a family member now, despite Cole having not visited in a long time.

  When Cole had heard it was her birthday, he’d run out before dinner and come back with two wrapped gifts in a Wedlock Creek Books shopping bag—a biography of Eleanor Roosevelt and a pretty blank journal with a matching fancy pen. She was so touched, and she’d written in the journal before turning in for the night earlier, about how glad she was that Cole was there and how she hoped this was the start of a new beginning for him and Sawyer.

  She’d been about to open the fridge for her midnight snack of a sliver—okay, fine, a big slice—of cakewhen she heard a clinking sound coming from the living room.

  Curious, she headed into the living room, the moonlight from the filmy living room curtains guiding her way. She was surprised to see Cole fully dressed, duffel over his shoulder. He stopped short of the living room doorway as he saw her standing there and his eyes widened.

  “Sorry to surprise you—I had a cake craving.” She glanced at his bag. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving?”

  “Uh, yeah, I have to. I, uh, start a new job in the morning. I didn’t want to jinx it by talking about it. You know how it is when you start a new job... You want to sleep in your own bed, have your stuff right there.”

  Was he lying? She couldn’t tell. Sometimes she thought she knew Cole, and then sometimes she didn’t.

  “Well, I’m so happy you visited, Cole. It means a lot to Sawyer. Even if it doesn’t show, trust me.”

  He seemed uncomfortable, shifting his feet. “It was good to see you, Maddie. I’m glad you liked your gifts.” He started walking to the door.

  “Let me go wake up Sawyer. He’ll want to say goodbye.”

  “Nah, we have our systems,” he said. “We’re not goodbye types, you know?”

  She smiled and hugged him. “You come back soon. And I want to hear all about the new job. Text me, okay?”

  He gave her a qui
ck smile, then rushed to the door. “Tell Sawyer sorry for me, okay?” She assumed he meant about leaving in the middle of the night without saying anything. Then he was out the door. The beater car roared to life and he peeled away.

  Sawyer had come down immediately at the sound of the muffler. “Where’s Cole going at one fifteen in the morning?”

  “He said he had to leave, something about a new job starting tomorrow and wanting to sleep in his own bed. He said you two weren’t much for goodbyes, and to tell you he was sorry.”

  “Sorry for what?”

  Maddie shrugged. “Leaving when we thought he was going to stay another night?”

  Sawyer’s expression changed then. He went into the kitchen and turned on the light, then pulled off the top of the ceramic cookie jar in the shape of a bear on the counter. There weren’t actually any cookies inside; it was where they kept their house cash.

  She frowned. “Oh, Sawyer, really?” Why did he always think the worst of Cole?

  He peered in and pulled out two twenties and a ten-dollar bill. “How nice of him to leave us fifty bucks. Should I be impressed he didn’t steal it all? There was over five hundred dollars in this, Maddie.”

  Her shoulders slumped, and she shook her head, tears coming to her eyes. “Sawyer, when I was in here before—I came down craving more birthday cake—I heard someone come downstairs and then a clinking sound in the living room. Then I went in and Cole looked startled and uncomfortable. Did he take something else?”

  “Dammit.” Sawyer stalked into the living room and turned on the lights, looking around.

  “Oh no,” she said, her gaze on the beautiful handmade wooden box with her name carved into it that her father had made for her several birthdays ago. “I keep my grandmother’s bracelet in there.” The beautiful diamond tennis bracelet her nana had given her in hospice, two days before she passed. Tears stung Maddie’s eyes, and she knew it was gone before Sawyer even rushed over to open the box.

  “Just some silver earrings in here,” he said, shaking his head. The look on Sawyer’s face was one she rarely saw. Red-hot anger.

  Tears fell down her cheeks and she made her way over to the sofa and cried. Sawyer sat beside her, taking her in his arms. Things had been so tense between her and her husband the past few months, and letting herself be held by him felt so good.

  “He’s not welcome here anymore, Maddie,” Sawyer said. “No matter what. Final straw.”

  She nodded against his chest, crying, holding on to him.

  * * *

  “Maddie?” Sawyer said. “You look like you’re a million miles away.”

  She started, realizing she’d been so lost in the memory that she’d disappeared for a while. She was standing in the same living room—just several months later. With Sawyer, staring at her with concern.

  And Cole, whom she could never quite read.

  “Sorry,” she said. “Just thinking about something.” She picked up Shane from his carrier and stroked his soft little cheek.

  As she looked over at Cole, a cold snap ran up her spine. She went from trusting him to not trusting him, just like that. She thought Sawyer had been too hard on Cole? She’d been too hard on Sawyer.

  Suddenly she understood why one of Sawyer’s favorite phrases was It’s complicated. It sure was.

  “Cole impressed the hell out of me at the community center,” Sawyer said. “Heck, I mean,” he added with a smile as he took Shane from Maddie and gave him a kiss on his downy head. Let it go. If Sawyer is able to, just let it go. Hadn’t she been the one to say it’s about now and the future?

  Now and the future. She wondered just what was going to happen in the coming days. Or weeks. Or even months. Would Cole take back his sons?

  And would Maddie say yes to her husband’s offer of ten children because of the bargain he’d made when he’d been sitting by her hospital bedside, scared to death he’d lose her?

  What she would give for a crystal ball for Christmas. One that actually worked.

  Ugh, maybe scratch that, she thought. If she’d learned one thing from having lost her memory, it was that it was sometimes a good thing not to know too much. A blessing in disguise.

  And anyway, things between the Wolfe brothers seemed to change on a dime. Right now, they were in a good place. Did she really want to know if that was about to change?

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Whoa,” Cole said, standing suddenly and scrunching up his face. “I think someone just went to the bathroom.” He held his arms out as far as they would reach. “Maddie, can you take him?”

  “Actually,” she said with a smile, “why don’t you change his diaper? No time like now to learn how.”

  “Uh, no, thanks,” Cole said, giving his head a little shake to move his mop of wavy brown hair from his eyes. He gave Maddie an imploring look. Please take him—now.

  What? Did he just say no thanks about changing his son’s diaper?

  “Cole, it’s one of the basics of parenthood,” Maddie pointed out. “Changing diapers.”

  “I just haven’t done it before. And to be honest, I don’t want to.” He grinned. “I mean, who would?”

  Sawyer raised an eyebrow. “Cole, no one wants to change a dirty diaper. But you just do it. Like Maddie said, it’s parenthood 101.”

  “Jeez, okay, fine,” Cole said. “Kind of embarrassing to do it in front of people, though. Am I right?”

  Sawyer gave a little roll of his eyes as he handed Shane to Maddie. “Let’s go in the bathroom. There’s a changing station. I’ll show you the ropes.”

  “Great,” Cole said so unenthusiastically that Maddie laughed.

  Not that it was funny—at all. Cole would have to grow up. Then again, maybe they were just watching that in action. That was what family was. Taking the lumps with the great times. “Right, little guy?” she asked Max, nuzzling his cheek.

  Five minutes later, Sawyer and Cole emerged from the bathroom, a triumphant look on Cole’s face, Shane in his arms.

  “That wasn’t so bad,” Cole said. “I mean, it was gross, but I got through it.”

  Maddie smiled. Just wait till someone projectile vomits on you, she thought. That had happened to her at MacLeod’s one day—and when it wasn’t your baby hurling all over you, it wasn’t quite the same. It was much, much worse.

  Wait a minute! She realized she’d just remembered that about MacLeod’s. Not that she wanted to remember it. But it was another memory, a little one connected to something that had just happened as if she’d just plucked it right out of her head the way anyone accessed their thoughts. A jumble of memories followed, and she wasn’t sure if it was the same time frame or not. She shook her head to clear it. Her memory was definitely on its way back.

  “Should we feed them before we eat dinner?” Cole asked. “I like doing that. It’s kind of fun.”

  Maddie smiled. “Actually, they ate right before you came. I tried to wait, but, oh boy, was Shane screeching his cute little head off to let me know they were starving.”

  “Oh, you know what?” Cole said, looking at his watch. “MacLeod’s closes in fifteen minutes, right? I called this morning to order something for them, and your mom told me it would be ready tonight by closing. I got something personalized. I’d like to go pick it up and bring them back wearing what I got them. Your mom can help me change them into it.”

  Maddie caught Sawyer’s hesitation, but then he said, “I’ll have to install their car seats in your car. And don’t speed.”

  “Bruh, I’m driving four blocks, and I’ll park right out front.”

  Maddie glanced out the window. No snow today, so the roads were clear. How much trouble could he get into four blocks there, four blocks back? Wait—don’t answer that, she told herself. “It was sweet of you to order them something. I can’t wait to see what it is.”

  “Com
e on,” Sawyer said. “I’ll show you how to properly install the seats.”

  Maddie didn’t love the idea of Cole driving them anywhere, even four blocks, but they needed to let him spend some time with the babies on his own. “I’ll put them in their winter suits while you do that. You can lay Shane down in the bassinet till you’re ready for the twins.”

  As the brothers walked into the foyer and put on their jackets, Cole said, “Maddie, I’m not ruining your spaghetti Bolognese, am I? I should be back in twenty minutes, tops.”

  “No problem,” she said. It needs a good twenty minutes more. “And I wasn’t going to put in the garlic bread for fifteen minutes anyway.”

  She took their fleece buntings from the closet and got the boys into them as Sawyer headed out with Cole. Then Maddie watched from the window as they installed the rear-facing car seats. She couldn’t hear Sawyer giving Cole a lecture about the seats, but she was sure he was. They came back in, each taking a baby, and went back out. Maddie followed them and stayed on the porch, feeling a bit like her heart was about to be driven away. Sawyer joined her on the porch and put his arm around her.

  “See you in twenty,” Cole said as he opened the driver’s door. “Get your phones ready to take pics.”

  “Oh, wait, take their bag,” Sawyer said. “Just in case. The bag always goes where they go. Just has some diapers, bottles, formula—basics if you’re stuck in traffic, that kind of thing.” Sawyer collected the stroller bag and handed it to Cole.

  “Traffic on Main Street?” Cole said on a laugh, putting the bag in the front seat. “That’s my bro, always prepared,” he added to Maddie with a roll of his eyes.

  That’s a good thing, Cole.

  They watched the noisy black car drive very slowly up to Main Street.

  Sawyer smiled. “I could actually ticket him for going that slow.”

  “Makes me feel better to see him inching down the street.” She turned to Sawyer and squeezed his hand, then went inside, Sawyer following. “By the way, I remembered the theft. When Cole mentioned the word cake before, the entire incident unlocked in my head. Happy birthday, me.”