Her hair was black, she was skinny, and she had intense gold eyes. Shayler could picture her in a white lab coat, finding the cure to cancer or rescuing abused, orphan puppies and homing them all in a day. Ugh. This was not helping at all. She wanted to reach for the wine, but resisted. It wouldn’t help anything, wouldn’t fix what she’d done.
“Wow, she’s hideous,” Rebecca said.
Shayler snorted. “Nice try.”
“Sorry. She’s cute.”
“I’m sure they’ll find a way back to each other, and they’ll be happy for ever after.”
Ansley raised a brow. “That’s what you want?”
“I want him to be happy.”
“Sounds like love to me,” Rebecca sang.
Shayler hit her with a pillow and crashed on the bed. She didn’t want to see more of his dirt. Talking about him may not have hurt, but seeing pictures of him did. It was like he was so close, but so far away.
She imagined what it would be like if he was there. Her parents would definitely love him, and he’d get along fine with her friends. David would’ve been lying beside her, an arm on her waist, as they all watched a movie. He would’ve been stroking her hand and sneaking kisses that would’ve been obvious to everyone else. And then she’d push him away, and he’d tickle her until she begged for mercy.
The images pierced her heart like hundreds of arrows all released at the same time. Shayler pulled one of Rebecca’s stuffed animals to her stomach, wishing she’d brought her old Barney doll with her. Getting over David wouldn’t be easy, but it was something she’d need to do. She couldn’t keep living like this.
“Let’s watch a movie,” Ansley said.
“What one?” Shayler asked.
Rebecca started the one movie that made everything better and sang along to the opening song. But, this time, Shayler doubted Zac Efron’s ability to fix things. This time, she knew she’d need a lot more than repeated viewings of High School Musical to repair her shattered heart.
Chapter Forty
One week later, Shayler was walking into a scheduled appointment with her advisor. She stepped into Mrs. Brent’s office with confidence, mostly thanks to Rebecca’s pep talk that morning and an extra-large iced latte.
“Ms. Thompson, I’m happy to see you.” Mrs. Brent took a seat in her squeaky desk chair and powered up her computer. “How are you doing?”
“Better, thanks.”
“Okay, so you tell me what career path you’re thinking of, or major, and I’ll print you a schedule of all the classes you need to take.”
“Um, well, I want to major in Criminology.”
“Wow, okay.” Mrs. Brent moved the mouse around, clicking half a dozen times. “You’re good with all the gen eds it seems. So about two years and a bit to catch up on the major itself.”
“That fits into my scholarship?”
“It should.” Mrs. Brent smiled. “What career are you thinking of?”
“I researched it some, but, um, I’m not positive on what specifically I want to do. I know I want to help people, but I haven’t decided yet.”
“That’s fine. As long as you have an idea, you’re in the right lane.”
“Yes.”
“I’ll go ahead and print you out a list that goes along with the major. It’s for all the possible careers and sectors you could go into with your degree.”
“Thank you.”
Mrs. Brent’s mouth stretched into a grin. “You’re very welcome. Now, if you pass Intro to Crim, which I believe you will, you’ll be on your way.”
Shayler froze. “Shit.”
“Sorry?”
Shayler shook her head. “Oh, um, I forgot I have class today.”
She’d spent her Spring Break having fun with her friends and researching careers. Not once had the thought of going to class with David and Professor Hale crossed her mind. One hour and she’d be in front of the both of them. Professor Hale could get crushed under a semi-truck for all she cared, but David? What if seeing him hurt? What if seeing him made it that much harder to get over him?
“I, um, have to get going,” Shayler said once Brent handed her both lists. “Thank you.”
“Good luck!”
Shayler smiled and waved before shoving her way out of the office. Brent had no idea just how much she’d need that luck. She pulled out her phone and dialed Rebecca.
“Hello?”
“Becca, I totally forgot, but I have Intro to Crim today.”
“Okay, and?”
“I have to see Hale and David in forty minutes.”
“Oh, uh…” Rebecca cleared her throat. “I think it’ll be okay.”
“What?”
“Huh?”
Shayler narrowed her eyes and walked through the automatic door of the office, near the quad. “What are you hiding?”
“I’m not hiding anything.”
“Rebecca, I’m not an idiot. Tell me.”
“Nothing.”
“Please.”
“Derek told me I shouldn’t, that it’d make you feel worse.”
“What could possibly make me feel worse than I did that night?” Shayler plopped onto a bench and hugged her bag to her stomach. “Tell me.”
“Only because I know you’ll hunt me down later and force me.”
“Damn straight.”
“Are you sitting?”
“Jesus Christ! Yes, I’m sitting.”
“David won’t be in class today.”
Shayler almost dropped the phone. Worse than imagining him there, was knowing he wouldn’t be there. “Why?”
“I mean, he won’t be in class again.”
“Did he quit because of … because of me?”
“No! No. He, uh, apparently went to confront Professor Hale about what happened at the dinner.”
“Excuse me?” Shayler flew to her feet, needing to pace back and forth to work off her nervous energy. “How do you know? What happened? Who told you?”
“Derek ran into David yesterday, after we got back, and he had a cast on his hand, and—”
“He had a cast on his hand? What? Is he okay?”
“Listen for a minute, would you? He’s okay. Derek asked what happened, and I guess David confronted Hale about cornering you in a bathroom, which, again, is not okay and I still think you should report him, and he ended up punching your professor in the face.”
“He did what?” Shayler nibbled on her lower lip, trying to process what Rebecca was telling her. David fighting wasn’t something she could picture, and the thought twisted her stomach and made her question her decision to have an extra-large dose of caffeine for breakfast.
“He’s fine, okay? No one’s pressing charges or anything, but, yeah, he hit your professor, and Hale decided to fire him.”
“Why?”
“Because his assistant punched him in the face.”
“No, why would he try to fight his boss?”
Rebecca laughed. “Don’t be oblivious. He was rightfully pissed, and he loves you.”
“Loved.”
“Loves.”
“I’m done fighting with you about this.”
“Just suck up your pride, and make up with him.”
“Becca, I hurt him.”
“You hurt me, and I forgave you.”
“You and I have never had sex. Different situation.”
“Think about it.”
Shayler wanted to tell Rebecca it was all she thought about. Getting David back, going dancing with him, watching crappy movies with him, curling up on her bed with him, and making love with him. She couldn’t think about anything else. He was always in her brain, interrupting her day-to-day life until she had to physically sit down and daydream about him. Clearly, her attempt to move past it hadn’t been working.
“Gotta go, Becca.”
“Bye, Shayler.”
Shayler stuffed the phone in her bag and covered her face with her arm. If she were Rebecca, she’d form a killer plan to win
David back. If she were Ansley, she’d ignore the issue forever and force herself to move on. Gigi would say something blunt and sexy. Whitney would giggle and beg. Vivian would seduce until he caved in. But she, Shayler Thompson, didn’t have a way to win back a guy. At the most, she knew how to get one in bed. And she didn’t think showing up to his house in a miniskirt and propositioning him would work. It hadn’t even worked the first time.
The notion was a ridiculous one, so she forced it from her mind. There was no winning David back. There was just hoping she’d find someone like him later on. But now she had one more thing to do before she could start looking again.
Shayler stomped toward the Criminology building, glad she’d worn her shiniest boots with the pointiest heels. She’d need them in a little bit. Making sure her shoes echoed down the long, empty hall, Shayler tugged on the Intro to Crim door. Hale sat at David’s desk, his back to her.
He didn’t look up when the door opened, he stayed hunched over, staring at papers. Shayler hoped he was overwhelmed with the grading process, hoped it killed his social life and strangled him with stress. And then she hoped he fell in a pool of acid.
“Hello, professor,” she said with a hip cocked.
He glanced up, but not a single hint of regret flashed across his face. Though, there was a faded purple marking beneath his eye. “Thompson.”
“Lovely to see you too.”
He sighed. “What do you need?”
“Seriously? To start with, you can apologize for cornering and threatening me.”
“I didn’t threaten you.”
“Yeah, that’s not how I see it. From what I remember, a rather large and drunk professor locked me in a bathroom with him and accused me of teasing him and trying to make him jealous.”
“An unfortunate misunderstanding,” he replied, his voice gruff like he’d smoked an entire pack of cigarettes that day.
“Maybe to you.”
“Let me repeat myself. What do you need?”
Shayler kicked the side of his desk, knocking books and pencils off. He glared at her, and she was glad to finally have his sole attention. “Hire David again.”
He chuckled dryly. “Hire the assistant who hit me? Why would I agree to that?”
“Because you’re not tenured yet, and a single peep from a student about being potentially assaulted in a bathroom would get you fired faster than you could finish off another whiskey.”
“Your lack of evidence would never hold up your argument.”
“Maybe. But, at that point, we’d already be in front of the deans, and they’d agree to save their asses. Especially since it happened at Clifton’s home.” She held his stare. “There may not be much justice for victims, especially on a college campus, but a professor who forces himself upon a student is a whole different story.”
“I didn’t force myself on you.”
“No. I don’t think you’re that stupid. You know the consequences. But you wanted to. You’ve got anger issues.”
“I’m in therapy,” he mumbled. “Working on it.”
“Hire David, continue your therapy, and I’ll drop it.”
“Or you take it to the board?”
“Yeah, and I won’t be quiet about it either.”
Professor Hale grumbled. “You have a deal.”
“If I hear about any other students, Hale,” she threatened.
“Please. I’m not an idiot.”
“I beg to differ.”
“I’m not the one who got her boyfriend to assault his boss.”
Shayler scoffed. “You think I asked David to do this? I would never, ever jeopardize his career. You brought this on yourself, and you deserve worse.”
“Yeah, yeah. Go take your love bullshit elsewhere.”
“You’re fucked up.”
“Tell that to my ex-wife.”
“Such a sad man.”
He shook his head in lieu of a response, and she paused to watch him. It seemed like he regretted the situation, but she couldn’t tell if it was just because he was close to being caught. She ran a hand through her hair. “One more thing.”
He twisted in his seat to face her. “What now?”
Shayler lifted her knee and drilled her heel into his foot. Hale let out a shriek of pain, and she dug it in further with a smile. He growled, but did nothing as she stepped away. Hoping a toe or two had broken, she strutted out of his class, not planning on returning anytime soon.
Chapter Forty-One
Though her spirits were definitely up, Shayler wasn’t totally all better yet. Visiting Hale had been satisfying as hell, but hearing him talk about David like they were still together had opened another sore on her heart. Because he was still gone, and if he’d been there, she knew his reaction would’ve made the confrontation so much sweeter.
Yes, he’d probably have said something disapproving, but there’d have been a glint in his eyes that would let her know he was proud. And he’d have laughed and drove them to dinner or back to her place. Or his place. Or his car.
She banged her head on Rebecca’s door before letting herself in. She needed friends, and Rebecca and Ansley were the only ones who knew the whole story. And Derek, if she had to guess.
The door closed with a thump, and three startled people jumped in their seats on Rebecca’s couch. Shayler noticed their faces first, and then she saw Rebecca stashing things under her shirt like she was in a casino and a million dollars’ worth of pennies was pouring out of a slot machine. She took a step closer, eyeing Ansley who crossed her legs and leaned back in her seat.
“Uh, hey guys.”
“Sh-Shayler. Hi. How are you? Sunny out today, right? Super-hot. Weathermen said it’s not record-breaking, but I’m pretty hot. Sweaty. You, Ansley? Are you hot?” Rebecca continued shoving packages into her top as Ansley used her leg to clear the stuff off the coffee table.
“Go wait in my room,” the blonde said.
“No way. What the hell is going on?”
“Hail Mary!” Derek cried, diving onto the pile Ansley had made on the floor.
Shayler raised a brow. “How were you ever a player?”
He glanced up at her. “I’m charming.”
She pulled a small baggie toward her with her foot. Balloons. She craned her neck to see over Derek’s sprawled out body. Confetti. Streamers. Signs. “Are you throwing another party without me? I didn’t do that bad of a job. I wasn’t even late.”
“Uh… Uh…” Rebecca kicked her boyfriend. “Say something. You know I’m not good at lying.”
“Well now I can’t because you just said it’s a lie.” He rolled onto his back. “This is nothing.”
Ansley scoffed. “Ignore the buffoons. We’re throwing you a birthday party.”
“Ansley!” Rebecca cried. “Why would you tell her?”
“Because I’m embarrassed for you two right now, and Shayler isn’t stupid.”
“You’re throwing me a party?”
“Yes,” Rebecca admitted. “But it was supposed to be a surprise.”
“Oh my God.” Shayler bent down and yanked something from under Derek’s butt. “Are these masks? I’ve always wanted a masquerade party!”
“David chose it, but we perfected it,” Derek said, raising his eyebrows and starting to move his arms like he was making a snow angel.
“David?” Shayler glanced at Rebecca. “You were planning a party with David?”
“Well, remember when I said Derek ran into David? I may have omitted some things.”
“You were getting this back.” Shayler looked at the piles, trying not to cry again. The tears were beginning to get old, and she couldn’t keep wasting her good mascara if she was just going to cry it off later.
“Sorry,” Ansley muttered.
“I-it’s okay. I’m okay.”
“Is she going to…” Derek pointed at Shayler. “I’m gonna go.” He stood, tapped Shayler on the shoulder, and retreated to Rebecca’s room.
“Hey, Shay,
what’s wrong?” Rebecca wrapped her in a hug, and Ansley joined.
“It’s all right, Shayler.”
“I miss him,” she said, sniffling as though the small, pig-like snorts could stop the waterworks.
“I know.”
“I’ve been thinking about it, and I … I … I love him.”
That was all it took for Shayler to explode with more tears, snot, and dripping makeup. So much for moving on. Her heart ached, her head pounded, and she always felt so empty. Alone. Even with Rebecca and Ansley holding her, she was still so fucking lonely.
“So tell him.”
“I can’t just tell him,” Shayler said, breaking away from the hug. “Are you for real? I broke his heart, stomped on it, and he tried knocking out his boss for me. This is more complicated than showing up to his house with flowers and an apology.”
“You can try chocolates.”
“He doesn’t really eat a lot of sweets.”
“A bouquet of burritos?” Ansley offered.
Shayler giggled. “Better.”
“When I wanted to tell Derek, you said I needed some big reveal. So what dramatic thing are you thinking of?”
“I can’t—”
“Come on, Shayler. You love being dramatic. This is your chance to go all out.”
Shayler tapped a finger to her chin. It would have to be huge, and it would have to be surprising. “If I do, it needs to be big.”
“Sleepover while we brainstorm?” Rebecca asked.
Shayler looked around her. Derek’s stuff wasn’t totally taking over, but in the air was a musk that hadn’t been there before. Too much of a manly reminder for right now. Not that his spicy cologne would ever come close to David’s natural scent.
“It’s okay. I have to see some people anyway.”
She pulled Rebecca in and kissed her cheek and then did the same for a blushing Ansley. These girls were her sisters, and she didn’t care if it embarrassed them. Love was such a relaxing experience, like she’d had seventy pounds removed and could finally jump and run and laugh again. No wonder people spent their whole lives searching for it.
“Text us.”
Shayler smiled. “I will.”
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