As much as she wanted to gush over movies and binge on Easter candy, she needed to have a talk with three other people she’d let down recently. Shayler had managed to avoid her roommates for all of Spring Break and had snuck back in when they’d been out. Now, she had to face them, had to apologize for being a dick who didn’t care and didn’t try.
She shot a group text asking for them to be there in an hour, and prepped the house by shooting an entire can of Febreze above the couch and sticking out a tray of cookies her mom had baked for her. Her roommates rolled in, one by one, each taking a seat as close to the other as they could.
Shayler stood at the front and took a deep breath. “Hey, guys.”
Whitney hid most of her body behind a pillow. Vivian stared at her nails. Gigi was the only one who glared at Shayler, making full eye contact.
Gigi opened her mouth, and Shayler hoped it wasn’t to curse her out. “It smells like a public bathroom in here.”
“I used the Hawaiian Febreze.”
“Bad choice. Always get cinnamon.”
Shayler nodded. “Look, I’m sorry, all right? To all of you. I shouldn’t have yelled when you were concerned. And I shouldn’t have dismissed your feelings for the last three years whenever you didn’t want to go out with me.”
“Hey, we all signed the contract,” Vivian said.
“Yeah, and you did help me get out my moping state whenever you made me go with you,” Whitney agreed.
“Okay, then I’m only sorry for being a bitch last week,” Shayler said.
Gigi cracked a smile. “Eh, it’s whatever. We were all feeling shitty after you got back from your date. We teased you too much. If you like the loser, then of course we support you.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah,” Whitney said. “Love is amazing. I want you to have it.”
“And I want to stop going to the club every single weekend,” Vivian added.
“And I want you to be happy.” Gigi grinned. “Seeing you upset just made us worried because of how happy you’d been. We weren’t sure what went down.”
“We figured it was self-sabotage,” Vivian said.
“It was. I was being dumb, scared.”
“Want my advice?” Gigi asked.
“Sure.”
“Don’t be. Fuck those stupid feelings, and do what you know deep down is right.”
“Thanks, Gigi.”
“Are we done here? I have a project to finish.”
“I’m sorry, you’re doing well in school?” Shayler asked, smirking.
“I’ve got a hot teacher, and I’m trying to impress her.”
“Nice.” Vivian pounded fists with Gigi.
“Wait,” Whitney said. “When did you turn into a lesbian?”
Gigi ran her tongue over her teeth. “I didn’t turn into a lesbian. I’m bi.” Whitney squinted her eyes, and Gigi exhaled roughly. “What?”
“It just makes sense. Jeremy spent a lot of time wondering if you’d be up for a three-way. Not anyone else, just you.”
“No offense, Whit, but neither of you are my type.”
“None taken. He’s not mine anymore, either.”
“Okay, everyone stop,” Vivian said. “We just spent the last five minutes talking about the people we like. When did we turn into Gossip Girl?”
Shayler laughed. “We’ve been in college for three years. Relationships are the only new thing that happens.”
“As someone single and not looking, let’s move on.”
“Single?”
“Sarah’s gone. Don’t wanna hear her name again.”
“Sounds good to me. Ooh, who saw the new Game of Thrones?”
Whitney laughed. “Shay, that show hasn’t been on for a year.”
Shayler groaned. “I know, but I don’t watch it and everyone else does. I want to know what people are talking about!”
Gigi shook her head. “Then stop watching season fifty of Teen Wolf and put on the adult channel.”
“Have you seen Dylan O’Brien? No thanks.”
“Have you seen Emilia Clarke?” Vivian asked.
Shayler shook her head.
“Enough said.”
Chapter Forty-Two
When Shayler showed up to Intro to Crim on Friday, she was prepared. First, she had a thumb-drive with actual files on it that she needed to use. Second, she’d bribed Hale out of the classroom with a twenty dollar Jumbo Java gift card. Third, she was wearing a cardigan and fake glasses.
All right, so the glasses were totally unnecessary, but super cute. Shayler looked like a sexy librarian. Rebecca’s gray cardigan couldn’t even bring her down. This was her day, and things would go well. She had to tell herself that anyway, or else she’d end up in a puddle of nerves on the floor of the classroom. And that was basically the opposite of seductive.
She sashayed into the class, and dropped her materials onto David’s desk. She was twenty minutes early, which gave her a few minutes to prep before David got there. Sticking her thumb-drive into the projector, she opened the slideshow she’d made.
Shayler settled on top of the desk and put an apple beside her. It was very professor-esque she thought, well, maybe for a porn video. But it worked, and she liked the feeling of sitting up there in charge more than she’d expected. As the minutes ticked by, her stomach worked its way into her throat.
It took way too long for him to get there, and she wondered if he’d even show. Hale had given him his job back, but what if he didn’t care? What if he’d moved on? She swallowed at the exact moment David burst into class.
He stomped his way to the desk, his brow furrowed and the creases in his forehead evident. She’d never seen him look so grumpy before, not that it mattered. He still stole her breath away. It’d been so long since she’d seen him, since she’d seen his stormy gray eyes and slightly curved mouth and lean frame. Her body ached as she refrained from throwing herself into his arms.
His gaze traveled from the floor to her body, and then to her face as he realized that she was there, in his spot. She hoped his stunned expression was a good thing and tapped the desk with a wooden ruler. No matter what, she was going through with her plan.
“If you could take a seat with the rest of the students, please.” She gestured to the empty classroom.
“Shayler, what are you—”
“Excuse me, it’s Professor Thompson to you. Now, sit.” She flicked the ruler to the front row of seats.
David shook his head and took a seat. She thought she saw a slight crinkle in the corner of his eye, but it was gone before she could be sure. Please let this work. She cleared her throat and hoped Brent’s luck hadn’t worn off in the last two days.
“So, today’s lesson is a character study on assholes. How to spot them, and what to do about it. Please prepare your notebooks and follow along.” Shayler started the slideshow with a small, black clicker.
A big picture of a cartoon butt was on the screen with a red X crossed through it. It was the best she’d been able to do in the short amount of time she and Rebecca had made it the night before, and she thought she heard David chuckle. She clicked to the next screen.
“The first one we’ll study is a girl, we’ll name her Shayler, who is an incredible asshole to most of the people in her life.”
An image of Shayler filled the screen, and she clicked the button so that bullet points covered her senior yearbook picture.
“Signs are as follows. One, she doesn’t throw away cartons of milk when she’s done drinking them. She puts them back in the fridge. This is a total jerk move. Second, she hardly shows up to class because she’s hungover. This makes her lazy, and maybe a bit of a lush. Third, she once stole the last tampon out of her best friend’s purse, and I won’t gross you out with details, but it was pretty inconsiderate timing.”
“Is there a point to this, because we have class?” David asked, his hand tapping on the desk.
“Ugh, yes. Can you be patient? You’re making me break out of character.”
“Shayler,” he started.
“Come on, I put this whole thing together for you. Can I have a few minutes?”
He raised a brow.
“All right. I’ll skip to the end.” She flicked past a few of her better pictures and came to the last page. She’d drawn her and David’s names together in a heart.
“The last sign this girl was an asshole, and a sign you should watch out for. She rejected a man who’d been nothing but wonderful to her. He took care of her, made her laugh, and made her really, really happy. Like the happiest she’d ever been. And she ran away like it meant nothing.
“I’d blame it on a quarter-life crisis, but really, she was just scared. And she left everyone she cared about, burned all her bridges, because she decided they didn’t fit into her idea of what her world should be like. Shayler Thompson was an asshole.”
Shayler hopped down from the desk and took off her glasses. She couldn’t finish the presentation in character. Her heart was beating too fast for her to remember her lines, and she was pretty sure her fingers were all tingly because she was about to pass out.
“David, you loved me. And I ran and acted like that offended me, but it didn’t. I was scared because I love you, too. I’m not someone who falls in love, but I did. You took my whole world, all of my ideals, and turned them upside down. So I panicked. I didn’t know who I was anymore. I’d always been the party girl or easy or all of these labels I was fine with being. And I was worried that if I became your girlfriend, I wouldn’t be those things anymore, I wouldn’t be me anymore.
“But I’m not worried about that now, if it matters. When I was with you, you made everything so much better until I was bored doing things without you. I mean, I hated admitting that to myself, but I was always thinking about you. Am always thinking about you. You’re it for me, David, and I’d give it all up for you. You’re more important than any party or concert or bar. I love you, and I’m sorry I was so awful to you. I know this apology sucks, and I got some pointers from Derek, but I wanted to do something big…” She covered her face. “Nothing seems right. Whatever I say … it’s not enough. It’s never going to be enough.”
He stood up, and she was terrified he was going to walk away forever. It didn’t matter that she deserved it. She wished with all of her heart that he’d stay. He hadn’t spoken, and she had no idea how he felt. So she shut her eyes and clenched her fists, hoping it’d be enough to stop her from breaking down. Something fluttered on her cheek, and she opened her eyes.
David was there. In front of her. And she could see him, all of him. He was so close. Shayler whimpered. If he left now, it’d be too much. She’d never live again, not really, anyway. Her life would be like one of those dull black and white movies, unfulfilling and boring and empty. Okay, so a movie wasn’t empty, but she couldn’t think with him right there.
“Shayler, you’ve always been enough for me.” He bent down, his lips ghosting across hers. “And I will always love you. No matter what.”
One last tear fell down her cheek, and her heart filled up again. Actually, there was so much pressure in her chest, that she was worried she’d need a medic on hand. But it didn’t matter. She clutched the collar of his insufferably nerdy polo shirt and pulled his mouth to hers, moaning as his tongue collided with hers. He tasted the same, felt the same. Like nothing had changed. She melted into him.
He broke away first, and panic swept over her as she wondered if it was a goodbye kiss. What if he’d just realized she wasn’t enough? David rested his forehead on hers, as he’d done so many times before, and nuzzled her nose. Shayler let out a sniffle-y laugh and kissed him again. And again. And again, until he’d wrapped her in his arms and held her steady against his chest.
“Um, by the way, where’s the class?” he asked when she took a breath.
She giggled. “Oh, I paid Hale to get lost for the day and made him issue a Class Canceled email.”
“Good thing because there was a test today.”
“Guess I’ll have to find someone to help me study, then.”
His laughter vibrated through her body. “I know someone who’d be up for it.”
“Kyle’s not good at Criminology.”
“Damn. I forgot.” He pressed kisses all over her forehead. “While I’m thinking of it, I didn’t have this job a week ago.”
“I heard. You got into a fight with your boss?” She checked his hand. “No cast now, though.”
“It wasn’t that bad. It was just compression tape.”
“Why did you do that?” she asked. “It was dumb.”
“I love you, Shayler. I’m not going to let some sick idiot manipulate you and think he can get away with it.”
The bundle of butterflies in her stomach started to make her ache in more ways than one. “Thank you, but I can take care of myself.”
“Apparently, since Hale’s been limping around since the day he told me I got my job back.”
“Weird coincidence.”
“Yeah.” He eyed her. “Weird.”
Looking at him was too much in that moment. How had she gone so long without him? “I missed you so much,” she whispered.
“I missed you, too.”
“I’m so sorry, David.”
“It’s okay. Everything’s okay.”
She brushed her lips against his and hung on tighter. “It is now.”
Epilogue
Ansley was really starting to get sick of clubs. And boys. She glared at the men beside her, baring her teeth until they scampered away. The only reason she was at Club Social was for Shayler’s birthday, and the only reason she hadn’t left yet was because it was the first time she’d seen Shayler drunk in a whole month.
“Happy birthday,” she said, hitting her cup with the redhead’s.
Shayler grinned and twirled in her bright pink dress. She was definitely the only redhead who could make that color combo work. “Thanks, Ans.”
Ansley watched as Shayler giggled and thanked the rest of her fifty friends for coming before clinging to David and sloppily making out with him. Damn. If she’d thought Rebecca and Derek were bad, David and Shayler had nothing on them. They were like aliens, perpetually attached to each other’s faces before they ran off to probably be attached in an entirely different way.
She sighed and leaned against the metal bar that separated the rest of the club from the party. The idea of a masquerade had intrigued her, but in reality, it was just a bunch of twenty-year-olds with plastic on their faces, pretending like it was a good enough reason to contract herpes from the nearest contender.
Ansley took a sip from the plastic pink cup Rebecca had bought, wishing the alcoholic punch would turn into something a little less mind-bending. She had more roommate interviews lined up tomorrow and desperately needed to be on her feet for them. The last month and a half of Rebecca and Derek’s escapades ran through her mind, and she bit down. If she had to suffer through another night of Rebecca’s girly moans or Derek’s dog-like grunts, she’d cut off his penis and string it next to her calendar like a decoration.
“Having fun, Ans?” Rebecca asked, her face flushed after what looked like three sips of Shayler’s signature drink.
“Not as much as you, huh?”
“Sorry.” Rebecca giggled and pushed her bangs away from her face. “It’s lots of alcohol.”
“Lots.” Ansley nodded, tipping her cup back. Might as well join the masses if things were going to get weird. There was no point in being sober in the middle of a crowded club with people screaming along to whatever Nikki Minaj song was playing. She spun around to get a refill when she ran head first into Shayler.
“Ansley!” Shayler tugged Ansley to her chest, though Ansley had to fold in half to do so. “I love you.”
“Yes, yes. Thank you.”
Shayler had been a big fan of the word since Spring Break, and Ansley was growing tired of hearing it. It wasn’t exactly a phrase she was used to hearing from anyone other than her b
rothers. It wasn’t like her parents had ever bothered saying it to her before they jetted off to whatever exotic location they were abandoning her for, and it sounded strange coming from someone who was simply a friend.
And it was even stranger coming from a friend who’d had such issues saying it before. Thankfully, Shayler wasn’t rejecting commitment anymore. Ansley had heard her and David exchanging the three words enough to know that much.
“You need to loosen up,” Shayler said, pushing her mask up like a headband.
“I’m loose enough.” Someone has to be able to call an Uber for four dozen people tonight.
“Not just tonight.” Shayler lowered her voice. “Usually. You need to loosen up in real life.”
“You’re not making sense.”
Shayler huffed and put a hand on her waist. “I don’t know who hurt you, but move past it. Okay? Be happy. I’m happy.” Shayler stroked Ansley’s hair.
Ansley removed Shayler from her straightened hair, and stepped back. “Okay, Shay.” There was no use pointing out she couldn’t just be happy, nor was there any use going into Ben Deccan and her last year of high school. She inhaled. She’d get over it. Exhale. Everything was normal now. It was in the past.
“Don’t mind her,” David said, swinging an arm around his girlfriend’s waist.
Ansley smiled and shook her head. “It’s all right.”
“How’re you?”
“I’m … good. You having fun?”
David surveyed the club. “It’s not my type of place, but, yeah, I’m having fun.”
“Same,” she said, raising her glass and taking another sip.
“Ansley, you’re so beautiful,” Shayler cooed. “I love you. You know that, right? Did I tell you that?”
“Guess her break hasn’t made her hold her liquor any better.” David glanced down at his girlfriend with what seemed like adoration, and Ansley wondered if anyone had ever looked at her like that.
“You know, there’s probably like five minutes before she starts puking.”
David’s eyes widened. “Seriously?”
“Yeah. When she gets to the anger or love stage, it’s coming soon.”
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