Hard To Love You (The Love Series)

by Smith, Megan

  Maybe she’s my out for the night. I can act like I’m picking this girl up and bringing her back to my room; helping her out of whatever situation she’s in and helping myself, too.

  I grab my beer off the bar and turn on the stool to make my way to her. Pat slaps me on the back and says, “There’s my boy.”

  I laugh just to play along. As I walk up to the girl, her friends all walk away in the direction I just came. I take the seat next to her, “Hey,”

  She blushes and I’ve only said two words.

  “Hey,” She manages to say after she’s taken a sip of her drink.

  “You look like you need some help.”

  “Was it that obvious?” she asks. She is tearing a napkin into pieces, trying to keep her eyes off mine.

  “Just a little. I’m Mason by the way, and you are?”

  “Cammie. Nice to meet you, Mason.” She has a southern drawl.

  Now that I take her in I see that she’s wearing a pair of cowboy boots with her white dress. “Let me guess, all your friends are trying to hook up with the guys from the team and you’re just not into it?”

  “Yeah, I was brought in here kicking and screaming.” She replies while nervously laughing.

  “I’m about to start kicking and screaming if I have to stay in here any longer. What do you say we get out of here? Make them think we’re leaving together?” I offer.

  “I think that’s the best pick up line I’ve ever heard.” She laughs.

  She finishes up her drink and we go say goodbye to her friends before we leave. I gain a few hoots and hollers from the boys on my way out. Now maybe this will get them off my back for a little while.

  We step outside and I hail down a taxi. One pulls up to the curb and I open the door for Cammie. After she sits down, she looks up at me, “You can come hang out for a while if you’d like; just to talk.” She fidgets with the end of her dress. “I don’t see my friends coming back tonight.”

  If I wasn’t so hung up on Hailey I would have hopped into that taxi and had my way with her all night, but I just can’t seem to do it. “Nah, I’m gonna head back to the hotel. We’re out of here first thing in the morning. Take care of yourself, Cammie.”

  I reach into my pocket and hand the cabbie a few bills to make sure she gets back safe and sound. “Thanks Mason.”

  I smile, shut the door and pat the roof twice before stepping back. I wait until I can’t see Cammie’s cab anymore and hail my own. I jump in and tell him what hotel I’m staying at. As we’re approaching I realize I have no fucking clue what room Coop and I are in. I send him a quick text before I pay the cabbie and make my way into the hotel. The front desk is closed for the night and I’m close to banging on all the doors at this point, just to find his ass but I don’t want to piss off the coach any more than I already have. I’ve been showing up hung over for practice and training since the split but it’s the only thing I can do to keep myself sane. My phone beeps just as I’m about to sit on the bench near the elevator. I swipe my finger over my phone, unlocking it. It’s Coop telling me he’s in room 517. I hit the up elevator button, step in and head up to the fifth floor.

  I knock once and wait. No answer so I bang again, after a few minutes the door opens and Cooper is standing there wearing only a towel and his hair is wet.

  “Thanks for taking a shower for me.” I laugh as I step around him into the room. He smacks me upside the head.

  “What the fuck was that for?” I grit out.

  “You deserved it.” He replies calmly.

  “Well, if you weren’t up here jerking it to Jaylinn then you wouldn’t have needed to shower.” I quip back. “It was Jaylinn right?” I probe.

  He sighs loudly. I’m bound and determined to break his wall about that girl.

  “Do you remember that spring break that we spent at Hunter’s? The year we waited too long to book flights out?”

  Cooper snaps his head in my direction. “What the hell made you bring that up?”

  I shrug, “I was just trying to remember that girl’s name that I was hanging out with. I met some girl at the bar that reminded me of her.”

  Cooper looks straight ahead at the TV that isn’t turned on. “I was too fucked up to remember anything at that party, dude.”

  Maybe he was telling me the truth. Maybe he really doesn’t remember sleeping with Brittany, or maybe it really wasn’t Brittany at all. I sit on the bed, rest my elbows on my knees and look over at Coop, who is lying up against his headboard. I let the conversation drop for now. “Why the hell did you let me go out tonight?”

  “I didn’t let you do anything. You chose to go with them.”

  Groaning, I fall back on the bed and cover my face with my hands. I don’t know what else I can do to fix this mess with Hailey. “What am I supposed to do about Hailey, Coop? She’s avoiding my calls, texts, emails, Facebook messages, everything. I can’t eat, sleep, or think. Coach is pissed at me. It’s only a matter of time before he kicks me off the team. I don’t want that but I’m so screwed up. I can’t get my head in the game.”“

  He’s quiet. I know what he’s thinking but I don’t want to hear the words.

  “Mase, you may have lost her for good.” He sighs and I hear his covers rustling. “If not, you better worship the ground that girl walks on.”

  “I know, but how can I fix it if she doesn’t talk to me?”

  “You ready to tell me what happened yet?”

  “You ready to tell me what’s going on with you and Jay?”

  Neither of us responds because there isn’t anything to say. I’m not sure I want to tell him what Lily said to me. If she was lying and I’d even entertained the idea that she was telling the truth, then Coop would be seriously pissed off at me and that was something I didn’t need. Apart from Hailey, he’s the one other person I’m really close to.

  I vow to myself that Hunter and MacKenzie’s wedding will be the day I get my girl back and I’m never letting her go again. I’ll tell her everything that happened from the second Lily followed me down the hall to the bathroom. Now I just need to get through this next week’s games and worship the ground she walks on. I sit up, pull my shirt over my head and climb into bed to sleep the rest of this nightmare night away.

  Flowers were still arriving every other day, the Wednesday before Kenzie’s wedding I’d had enough. The delivery guy showed up right at three, just like clockwork. He knocked on the door and I was all set to unleash my wrath on him when I was suddenly hit with an idea. I was a freaking genius. The delivery guy, whose name I still didn’t know, was cute, tall, sporting short blonde hair that he always had styled in a faux hawk, and pretty green eyes. I couldn’t really get a feel for his body since he was always wearing long sleeves and jeans.

  I yank open the door, plaster on my sexy smile and bat my eyelashes a few times and he looks up at me. My smile falters and is replaced with what I can only imagine is a ‘stunned deer in headlights’ look as my eyes continue to run down his body. It’s a pretty warm day and he’s showed up wearing a t-shirt that is snug and showing off his perfectly sculpted body, and a pair of cargo shorts that show off a few tattoos on his calves. Shit! Maybe my plan isn’t such a good idea after all, this guy is out of my league and he’d probably laugh at me when I suggest he be my date for Kenzie’s wedding. When has that ever stopped me though? Be brave, Hailey, you need this.

  He clears his throat, hands me the flowers, which I take. Our fingers touch just slightly and I damn near drop the vase. His reactions are quick and he grabs a hold of it again. When I look up he is smiling.

  What the hell is wrong with me? This guy can’t have this effect on me; my emotions are under lockdown since shit hit the fan with Mason. I have to pull it together. I give him a weak smile and tighten my hold on the vase. When he feels I’ve finally got a grip, he lets go. I walk to the table in the hallway and place them down, along with the others, and go back to sign for the flowers. He hands me the clipboard, I sign and pass it back. In
stead of taking it he grabs my hand and pulls me slightly forward so that I’m closer to him now.

  I flinch. I didn’t mean to but it happens anyway. He’s just standing here, holding my hand longer than necessary before he finally lets go.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  I know I’m turning fifty shades of red because I can feel it. “Thanks.” I manage to say.

  He smiles again, and he even has perfect teeth. How did I not notice him before? Oh that’s right, because I’ve been pining for what’s his name. “No problem.”

  He starts to turn and leave when I say, “So since you know my name I think it’s only fair that I know yours. You’ve been leaving me flowers for how many weeks now?” I joke around with him.

  He chuckles, chills run down my body. “Cole.”

  I run my fingers through my hair, trying to tame the mess I’m sure it looks like. “Leave it, it looks fine.” Cole says.

  I smile and bring my hands down, “I’m sure it doesn’t, but whatever.”

  “So I’m going to take a wild guess here and say that the boyfriend really messed up, huh?”

  I sigh, “Something like that, it doesn’t matter. Actually, I don’t think I ever mattered to him.”

  He shakes his head, “He must be an idiot.”

  “You have no idea.” I mutter.

  “What was that?” He asks, anxiously bouncing back and forth on his feet. How could a guy that looks the way he does be so nervous?

  I step out the door and take a seat on the porch swing. “Nothing, he screwed up. His loss really, not mine.” I lie. I miss Mason something fierce. Not that I’ll be admitting that to anyone anytime soon.

  “Well I gotta get going; I have a few more deliveries to make.” Cole starts to walk away again and this time I let him.

  I pull my phone out of my back pocket and scroll through Facebook when I realize Cole has come back, “I know this is probably weird ‘cause it feels weird telling you, but I’m in a band and we are playing at a local bar tonight, you should stop by.”

  I think for a minute. Could I really do this? Could I actually have something to do that didn’t involve a Cahill? Well I guess now is a good time to see what he’s like before I actually ask him to the wedding. I just hope he doesn’t mind being asked last minute. “Sure, why not.”

  He smiles. That smile is gonna be the death of me. “I can pick you up at eight?”

  I twist Mason’s promise ring on my finger for a second. Reality hits me that I am actually about to go on a date with someone that doesn’t have hussies falling over him. At least I hope he doesn’t. He said he was in a band though. Sighing internally, I am about to turn him down when he interrupts my battle.

  “You can drive if you want; if you give me your number I’ll text you the address.”

  I consider that for a minute.

  “Or you can take a walk on the wild side.” He says to me and then winks.

  Screw it! Let’s do this.

  “Pick me up at eight, Flower boy.”

  He winks again and leaves. I tap my screen and go back to scrolling through Facebook, only to stop on Mason’s fan page when I see a picture of him with his arms draped over two girls and walking into some kind of club, at least that’s what I can make out in the picture. My heart sinks and tears pool in my eyes. That seals the deal. I no longer feel bad about going out with Cole tonight. If that’s how you want to play it Mase, I’m game.

  Later that night, while I am getting ready, Kenzie sends me a picture of Ryder in his little swimming trunks that I bought for him, with his matching sandals and sunglasses. That little guy is going to be a heartbreaker when he gets older. I miss him and I really need to go over there and spend some time with him soon. Without knowing Mason’s schedule I’m afraid of running into him so I’ve been staying away.

  I toss my phone on my bed and go back to getting ready. I’ll get my Ryder fix this weekend at the wedding. I told Kenz and Hunter that Ryder had a date and to not fix him up with anyone. They both looked at me like I was crazy but I’m not. I am going to have Ryder for a few days while they’re off on their honeymoon and then when I go back to work on Tuesday I’ll drop him off with MacKenzie’s mom.

  The doorbell sounds and I take a deep breath before I grab my purse and go downstairs for my first date, post Mason. Here’s hoping that tonight is a success and I’ll have someone with me at the wedding that can run interference with Mason.

  Cole’s eyes widen when I open the door, and I’m not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing. I wasn’t exactly sure what to wear so I went with my black skinny jeans, sheer silver tank with lace and sequins and my silver peep toe heels. I added my black diamond earrings that Mason bought me for Christmas and my black and silver bangles. I’ve thrown my hair up into a messy bun and pulled some wispy curls out to frame my face.

  Cole rakes his eyes from head to toe and then ever so slowly back up to my lips. He takes a step forward; he can’t be trying to kiss me already! We haven’t even been on the date yet. What if we have horrible chemistry? As he takes another step closer I suck in a breath and ready myself to call off this whole thing. He looks first at me and then at my lips and smirks while taking the final step forward until we are almost touching.

  Then, ever so slowly, he shifts slightly to the right and places a kiss on my cheek. Hmm … I’ve never had that done before. Granted, Mason has kissed me on the cheek, forehead, pretty much everywhere, but I’ve never had this happen. I’m a little stunned.

  “You look beautiful.” Cole whispers before taking a step back.

  I let out the breath that I am holding, begging my heart rate to turn back to normal before Cole hears it. Just a kiss on the cheek and I’m panting like a little girl who just got her first kiss.

  I take another step back from him in an attempt to get my bearings about me. Cole looks hot, like really hot. He has on a black t-shirt, with a band that I don’t recognize, that fits like the shirt he was wearing earlier, tight in all the right places, paired with a pair of dark jeans and Nikes. He has a fitted black hat, flipped backwards instead of sporting his mohawk. How is it that he doesn’t have a girlfriend? Before I even realized it I am asking him out loud.

  He laughs and shakes his head, “They’re too much trouble.”

  I wasn’t expecting that answer.

  “Seriously?”

  Red flag!

  I step out of the house, then turn to shut and lock the door. Cole answers, “Seriously. I don’t have time and I don’t want some girl just hanging around waiting for me. I’m not sure where the band is going right now and it wouldn’t be fair to her. I’ve had my fair share of girls and I’ve seen what that situation can do to someone. I don’t want that for anyone else. But, when I do find a girl I really like, I’ll stay with her. I won’t go off looking for my bed mate like some of the other guys in the band.”

  I study him for a moment. Who is this guy? Cole is perfect, almost too perfect.

  He must be a damn mind reader. “Don’t do that. I’m not perfect by any means. I’ve lost my best friend and I’ll never do that to myself again.”

  I raise my eyebrows in surprise, “Are you a mind reader or something? I think I should know ahead of time if you are. It’s only fair.”

  He throws his head back and laughs, the emotions of that pending conversation successfully diverted. I’m not ready to air my dirty laundry just yet.

  His phone starts ringing and he quickly digs it out of his pocket and answers, “Yo,”

  He motions his head towards the car and I follow. I am a little taken back when I see his black Dodge Charger sitting in my driveway. I don’t know what I was expecting him to drive, but it wasn’t this.

  He smiles when he opens the door for me, “I’ll be there in ten minutes, relax. And tell the guys to act right; I’m bringing someone with me.”

  He sighs loudly as he shuts the door and officially closes me out of the conversation as he walks around and climbs in his side. �
��Sorry about that. The guys are a bunch of assholes sometimes. I’ll apologize in advance for them.”

  “It’s no problem; I’ve got experience dealing with assholes. If you’ve met Mason, you’d know exactly what I was talking about.” I ramble on.

  “Mason?” Cole questions.

  Damn, I hadn’t meant to bring him up. “Yeah, Mason is the ex.”

  He cringes, “You don’t happen to mean Mason Cahill do you?”

  I nod and Cole curses under his breath. I rest my head against the headrest and close my eyes before I speak, “It’s ok if you don’t want me to go with you. I’d understand.”

  “No. No, that’s not it at all.” I open my eyes and look over at Cole as he starts backing out of my driveway. “No offense or anything but from what I’ve heard around town, it didn’t sound like he had a girlfriend.”

  My stomach clenches. No, of course it wouldn’t, because Mason is a flirt and totally full of himself.

  Cole curses again, “Look, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. You seem like a great girl and I’m not really sure what the hell you’re doing with a guy like that but I’m sure there is a reason.”

  Yeah, he’s the love of my life and the one who crushed my heart.

  “Let’s not talk about our pasts, ok? It’s a bit touchy and I don’t want to think about that tonight. I just want to go out and have a great time.”

  Cole smiles and says, “Deal.”

  “Deal.”

  He grabs my hand and we make our way to the bar. In this moment I am content with him holding my hand and not talking about our pasts. I haven’t been content in a while and I am determined to stay that way; at least for tonight. I need to find the Hailey that I used to be before someone crushed her. Someone named Mason Cahill. Yep, I’m so not thinking about him tonight.

  Thankfully things work out and we have home games this week. This is good for Cooper and I, we won’t have any problems attending Hunter and MacKenzie’s wedding. It’s Wednesday night and we’ve just wrapped up another winning game, I want to go to a bar and get drunk; I need the numbness that it provides. Being home is driving me crazy because I can’t go to Hailey’s house and bury myself in her like I want to. I’ve driven past her house a few times and every time her car is there. I try to pump MacKenzie for information on her but she tells me to fuck off. I’m not surprised, they’re like sisters; but still I’m her blood, she could at least give me something. I even tried Hunter but he told me he’s not getting in the middle.