Fear and Aggression
Page 10
“Aren’t you the lucky one? Captain comes by first thing in the morning to let you know you’re in his crew. And wow, is he cute! All I get is some papers in the slot saying be here at such-and-such time,” exclaimed Mary, Tammy’s roommate.
“I saw him in the corridor yesterday, and it looked like he was checking me out,” Tammy returned.
“This is getting good; do you think our young Captain pulled some strings to get you on his crew?”
“I hope not, look where we’re going. It’s uncharted and unanalyzed. We’re basically heading out into the middle of nowhere. What are the chances that we’ll run into some little green men out there?”
“Who cares about little green men when you’re out there with a man like that?”
“He is cute, isn’t he? I guess that’s the consolation for being sent on an analyzing mission instead of an exploring mission. I just feel that my extraordinary talents are being wasted,” Tammy quipped and both women started giggling.
“It’s so weird, we get all of this elaborate training, get all of this expensive equipment, and go on an amazing adventure to the far reaches of the universe; they spend all of this money, and for all we know it may all just be rocks, and burning gas except on little ol’ planet earth," Mary said, feeling enlightened and philosophical. “And where are you, Ms. Rogers? Here we are on stardust 20, but your eyes are even farther away.”
Tammy’s beautiful sapphire eyes were focused a million miles away, outside the window. She stayed there, silent and wondering for a moment; then the gleam came back into her eyes and a smile transformed her countenance. She looked over at Mary, and then back away with the dreamy look again. “I really want there to be something out there. And I want to find it. I’ve always had this—I don’t know—dream, or hope, that I would be the first to discover something. You know, me in the lab, and here’s something new—completely new. And no one in the world knows it at all, but me. And for those few seconds, or minutes, or hours, I have it alone. To know something that no one else knows. Can’t you imagine that feeling, that realization? Some life form, with characteristics, different, and unimagined; and me there—unraveling the mysteries of existence.” She turned to Mary with a big smile, looking directly in her eyes, and then widening her own as if to say, “Cool, huh!”
“Wow, Tammy, that does sound cool. I’ve never thought of that before. I’d probably just scream, and then spill the beans to the first person I see,” Mary said, looking up at the ceiling, and then with a laugh, “I can see it now. You discover the secret of alien life, and then you go up to that cute Captain of yours, and say, ‘I know something you don’t know, na na na na na na,’ and you've got him wrapped around your finger.” They both started laughing boisterously; both of them lying on their backs on their beds, they stared out their window with wonderment and some nervous anticipation about their upcoming adventures. Tammy, feeling disappointed and excited all at once, allowed her emotions to multitask for a while. Mary was feeling excited for her friend, and jealous. But that combination of feelings was not so incompatible, nor singular. They both lay there in silence, in their own little worlds, but in some sense bonding. It could be a long time before either of them would be able to bond with another member of the same sex, in this same way.
Chapter 10