Fear and Aggression

by Dane Bagley

Bellerie Lodophin was calmed down and actually in a rather good mood. Alleff, although somewhat subdued, was in rather good spirits and was feeling much better. The electrical safeties had been repaired, the lights were on, and everything was working. The boys were running around and creating all sorts of mischief (sort of their way of expressing how relieved they were that Alleff was okay, and glad to be getting things back to normal, not to mention catching up on all the trouble that they had surprisingly not caused during the stressful afternoon) of which Mrs. Lodophin was nearly oblivious to. So, when Mayor Palador and Mr. Olefften arrived at the door, Bellerie had to think for a moment why they were at her door at all, not to mention transforming her mindset back to the victim and disgruntled citizen, which in this instant was emotionally too draining for her to give a full effort to. But, not being one to give anyone, especially male authority figures, the upper hand, she did half-heartedly address the Mayor in a like state to that which she had approached her earlier visitors that day: “Mayor Palador, I’m surprised you had not been by earlier today.” She of course had been informed that Mayor Palador was unaware of her calamity, by Seryen himself, and that he had left, only an hour or so ago, to inform the Mayor and, although not actually spoken, to retrieve him; but this, though somewhat annoying to Seryen, was of no consequence.

  “Seryen has told me of the traumatic afternoon you and your family have been through,” he said sincerely and with a serious enough tone, though with a cheerful expression in his eyes. Roloff had a way of calming those around him. In this case Mrs. Lodophin was already calmed internally. But he also had a way of reading people through and through; he knew, almost instantly, that he was here on ceremony, and that quickly all of their designs (Both Mrs. Lodophin’s and his and Seryen’s) would be accomplished, and that he would likely get home before the evening was too late. But he also understood that he would have to play the part for a while, which he settled into comfortably. Seryen, on the other hand, was more ill at ease, and Roloff suspected that he had not yet grasped the situation.

  Bellerie typically wore long loose dresses, of which she had a brown and yellow, fairly light-toned, one on this evening. She, having always been obese, carried her weight naturally. She had light brown hair, neither long nor short, that tonight was worn down straight. She had glasses that were rather large, but not so much that they overshadowed her plump rounded face. Her green eyes were somewhat magnified by her hyperopic lenses, giving her glances an added punctuation, yet adding to her largeness in an unattractive way. Ordinarily, she was always pleased to have important visitors in her home, but tonight she felt too relieved to be effectively manipulative, and was eager to get back to her comfortable and relaxed state of mind. Still, they were here, and it wasn’t like she wasn’t going to take advantage of the situation; plus, she liked Roloff’s company well enough.

  “Is Alleff well enough that we may see him?”

  “Alleff? Oh, he, well, he has had a terribly bad day. Um, I think you can see him, that is, I’m sure you will see him. He’s been running around...his brothers have him riled up, and they’ll probably be in and out. But you should have seen him this afternoon, how his face was so white and he was so scared. I was beside myself with fear, and I wanted—well, I’m not sure I want to have the substation on my property. My boys are the most precious things in the world to me, and...” The sound of things falling to the floor was heard with a crash, and almost instantly a boy’s voice was heard crying. Bellerie, subconsciously, rolled her eyes, and was about to go on explaining how precious her boys are to her when Seryen volunteered to see what was happening with the boys; and then got up without waiting for a reply.

  Roloff continued to listen while Bellerie continued on, “This electricity is so powerful, and dangerous for my boys, I am afraid that something awful may happen. Oh, dear, it has been hot today, I’m glad they were able to fix the power so quickly. I don’t know what I would do without it.” Bellerie sat back, more relaxed, not even remotely aware of the mistake she had just made in consistency. Seryen walked back into the room carrying Alleff, who had tears in his eyes, but was no longer crying aloud.

  Roloff arose and walked to Alleff. “Ah, Alleff, how are you, lad? I hear you had a rough day.” Alleff stared at him with a sober expression, as if to say, ‘not someone else to check me out again.’ “Are you still ticklish?” Roloff queried with his eye brows raised, and then lowering his brows smiled warmly. Alleff’s eyes brightened as Roloff spoke, and Roloff reached over and tickled his ribs lightly. Alleff giggled and squirmed a little. Roloff reached over to pick him up, “My boy I am so glad you are well,” he said as he lifted him up from under his armpits and bringing him to his chest gave him a warm embrace.

  Bellerie smiled and stood up. “It takes more than a little shock to knock out a Lodophin boy. They’re tough as can be,” she called out as more crashing sounds could be heard from the down the hall. “And about as wild as electricity itself,” she commented and the group shared a hardy laugh. “I suppose it will be best to keep the substation here. They couldn’t have repaired it so quickly, if it happens again, without it being here. Besides, my boys are even more likely to wind up in trouble if it’s where I can’t keep my eye on them.”

  “I’m pleased to see that all is well here. I’m glad to see that you are back to your mischief,” Roloff said, turning to Alleff with a smile that was returned by the boy. “We were very concerned to learn of all this. Aspiria will be coming by tomorrow to see how you are doing.”

  “Oh, it will be good to see her. Well, Mayor, it is getting late and I must get Alleff to bed,” she said, not hiding her desire to get rid of her guests so that she could relax.

  “Get some good rest, Alleff. You as well, Bellerie,” Roloff spoke with a cheery smile as he made his exit.

  “Goodnight, ma’am, Alleff,” Seryen said with a serious expression.

  The two late travelers walked silently down the road until they were well out of earshot. Seryen was obviously pleased that everything had gone so well. In fact, it was just what he had hoped for. But for some reason he had a sick feeling in his gut that was gnawing at him. His first thought was that it was because this visit was unnecessary, and he had ruined the Palador family’s special evening. Things could have waited until morning, or he could have gone himself this evening and patched things over. But as he tried to justify himself to this line of reasoning, his gut feeling would not subside. That was the problem; if he had gone on his own this evening, he could not have patched things up. Was he jealous because Mayor Palador was so good and effective? No, he genuinely admired Roloff’s powers and the esteem with which he was affectionately showered. It was his own inadequacy that was weighing him down. He may have done all the right things, and been in all the right places, yet he did not have the power of persuasion, nor the ability to penetrate and affect people emotionally. Mrs. Lodophin had nothing against Seryen, as far as he could tell. She seemed to genuinely appreciate his service rendered to her this evening, and in times past; yet, she had shown, without any intention at all, how meaningless Seryen’s hours were to her, and how meaningful Roloff’s moments had been. Seryen felt no anger, for no one had offended him, yet he felt bitterly disappointed with himself, who he was, and where he was going. Perhaps a part of his pain was the further realization that Roloff was returning to his son to share what was left of a special day, and he was returning to a home barren of children.

  “Well, I suppose we won’t have to worry about the electrical supply for now.”

  “Yes, it does appear to be solved. I’m truly sorry that I had to drag you out this evening.”

  “Don’t be. It was a necessary step.” It stung Seryen to hear him say that, but he was only too aware of that statements truth at that moment.

  “So what made her change so rapidly?”

  “She’d already changed her mind when we’d gotten there. But if I hadn't gone there this
evening, she may have just as easily changed her mind back.”

  Yes, that was true. But there was more to it than that. Roloff was being humble. It was not simply his position that made the visit effective. It was his own inward power as well that made her soften so quickly and completely. Now that Seryen understood his own internal distress, he felt a bit relieved, though not completely. They had reached the point in their journey where Roloff was to return home one direction, and Seryen the other. “Mayor, thank you once again.”

  “Thank you, Seryen. Goodnight.”

  The night had grown dark, and a little cooler, though not uncomfortably so. But the moonlight was bright, and the path clear as Roloff made his way home. He had spent the day walking, and was perhaps a touch fatigued, but was not aware of it at the moment. He was at peace with himself, and enjoying these few moments of solitude. Though this excursion had taken away from his valuable family time, it had not taken more than an hour. Aspiria and Caryell had undoubtedly spent some nice time together. He felt grateful to his wife and son for their understanding and patience as he performed his civic duties. In the distance he could begin to see the shadowy outline of the exterior of his home; the front windows ablaze from the light within. Subconsciously he quickened his pace towards home.

  Chapter 12