Shade

by Jamie Begley

  Shade got up to turn off the grill, making sure it was out before they went inside. Lily had already cleaned the table by the time he turned around, so Shade shut and locked the back door.

  “I cooked; you can do the dishes,” he said, opening the fridge to take out a beer, carrying it past her rigid body to the living room.

  “What do you want to watch? Something scary or something funny?”

  “Funny,” Lily answered as she continued putting up the dishes.

  “Scary it is,” he teased while studying the titles of the movies.

  “Don’t you dare.”

  “Then you better hurry up.”

  She sat down on the opposite side of the couch from him only minutes later.

  He had chosen a romantic comedy to watch with a fairly explicit sex scene. When it came on the screen, Lily jumped up and went into the kitchen, making the excuse that she wanted popcorn.

  When she returned with popcorn and a beer for him, he was shocked. She hadn’t been happy when he had grabbed a beer out of the fridge, but she had voluntarily brought him another one while she drank a soda.

  She had subconsciously recognized that alcohol and pain didn’t have to go together. It was only a tiny baby step for her, but for him, it gave him hope the size of the Grand Canyon.

  “Thanks.” He took the beer and popcorn from her as Lily returned to her seat at the end of the couch.

  She didn’t even stiffen when she heard the can pop that time, even though she couldn’t bring herself to look at him when he lifted the beer to his mouth.

  After the movie was over, Shade turned it and the television off while Lily carried the popcorn and empty cans to the kitchen. Shade was already at the door when she returned.

  “Lock the door behind me.”

  “I will. Thanks for the steaks, Shade.” Lily rose on her toes, brushing his cheek with a soft kiss before stepping back hastily. “Goodnight.”

  “Goodnight, Lily.”

  Shade closed the door behind him, waiting until he heard the lock click into place before he walked away with his fingers reaching up to touch his cheek.

  He had believed he would have to be the one to initiate their first kiss, and his woman had proven him wrong. Hell, things were moving along faster than he had thought possible. By the end of next week, she might even manage to work up the courage to look him in the eyes when they had lunch.

  * * *

  Shade sat on his bike in the parking lot of Rick’s Pub as the lights inside cut off and the workers exited, casting cautious looks in Shade’s direction. Charles came out last, shutting and locking the doors behind him. When he turned to the parking lot and saw Shade, there wasn’t any surprise in his expression; he merely walked toward the biker. Shade had to give the kid credit, too; he didn’t even flinch from Shade’s hard stare.

  “If you came for that dinner, I’m afraid we’re closed.”

  Shade let a wry smile touch his lips. “We both know that’s not why I’m here.”

  Charles looked him over. “If you came here to threaten me to stay away from Lily, I won’t. You’re wasting your time. Even if you beat me up, all I have to do is show Lily, and it would turn her against you. There’s no way you can win, Shade.” The little shit smiled at him.

  Shade smiled back affably before reaching into his pocket to pull some photographs out and hand them to Charles.

  Charles took the photos from him, turning pale, then looked back up at Shade.

  Shade leaned forward, taking the photos back, looking at the woman and child in the picture. “Amazing resemblance, isn’t it? I think we both know what Lily would do if she found out you knocked up one of her friends. Miranda may have passed your kid off to the dumbass she married, but we both know it’s yours. Not only would Lily not have anything to do with you, but it would break up Miranda’s marriage, and the gossip would get back to your daddy. I believe her husband is a deacon in the church.” Shade leaned forward, resting his forearm on his knee, his eyes pinning Charles in place.

  “What do you want?” Charles asked, his jaw tight.

  Shade smiled in satisfaction. “What I want is for you to go back to Lexington. I’ll even give you a couple of weeks home before you have to leave. Just don’t try to see Lily anymore.”

  With Charles’s nod of agreement, Shade straightened, starting his motor.

  “She won’t ever love you. What makes you think you stand a better chance than me?” Charles looked him over as if he was trash.

  Shade gave him his moment. Charles knew he had lost all hope of having Lily, and he sure as fuck was taking it better than Shade would have. He gazed back at the man yet felt no pity.

  “The difference between us, Charles, is I would give my right arm for her. You, on the other hand, didn’t take five seconds to put on a fucking condom.” Shade drove off, leaving the speechless man behind.

  Chapter 46

  “Shade.” Kaley was standing on the stairway, staring at him hungrily.

  He paused in his stretching, looking toward the hallway leading to where Lily was getting changed into her workout clothes in the bathroom. “What do you want?”

  “Rider said to tell you someone is here to see you.” She shifted her weight to draw attention to her legs which were exposed by her tiny shorts.

  “Why didn’t he just call?” Shade asked, putting his T-shirt back on.

  “I offered to come get you.” Her eyes were practically licking his tattoos as he covered them up with the shirt.

  He went to the steps which led upstairs and as he climbed up, she didn’t move out of the way. Shade was the master of that game. The bitch wasn’t going to manipulate him into playing a game he had no intention of participating in.

  “Move, Kaley. Now.”

  Her hand reached out to touch his chest but Shade caught it, twisting her wrist until she had to sit down on the steps.

  “Do not touch me without permission. I’ve told you this before,” Shade reminded her. “I don’t want what you’re dying to give me.”

  When she nodded, Shade released her.

  “Come down into this basement again when Lily is here, and I’ll throw your ass out of the club. I don’t care how many fucking votes you have. You got me?”

  “Yes.” Kaley rose to her feet.

  “Good. Now get your ass upstairs,” he ordered, following her up and into the kitchen where she hastily moved away from him into the other room.

  Rider was leaning against the counter, drinking a beer. He tilted the bottle to the kitchen door, and Shade went outside to find Rachel Porter standing hesitantly by the picnic table.

  “Greer’s still in West Virginia, but he didn’t want to keep you waiting, so he asked me to bring your regular Friday order.” She held out a bag, which he took.

  “He stay for a drink with The Blue Horsemen?”

  Rachel smiled. “More like three or four.”

  “You walk through the woods?” Shade asked, seeing leaves and dirt clinging to the bottom of her jeans.

  “Yes. I was checking on my roots, anyway. It’s only a couple of miles.”

  “You need to be careful out in the woods by yourself.”

  “I know them like the back of my hand, and I have protection.” She motioned toward a large dog sitting to the side, patiently waiting for her.

  “I need to get back. Lily’s waiting for me to work out.” Shade turned to go back inside.

  “Shade…”

  Her concerned voice stopped him. He turned back to see her face filled with worry.

  “I told you I would take it slow, Rachel. She’s only here to work out. Be nice if you could work a little faster, though.”

  “It’s not easy trying to work on her without her knowing it. I have to be careful because she knows I can heal with my hands.”

  “If she hasn’t figured it out in the last month, she isn’t going to,” Shade told her.

  “I told you I would do it when you bribed Judge Creech into dropping th
e possession charges against Greer, but it’s hard to do when you won’t tell me what I’m up against.”

  “Imagine your worst nightmare, multiply it by five, and you still won’t be able to understand the Hell she’s been through,” Shade replied grimly.

  “Jesus,” Rachel whispered.

  “He wasn’t there for her then,” he said snidely.

  “Wasn’t he?”

  Shade wasn’t about to get into a religious conversation with her. “Just keep doing what you’re doing. She hasn’t had a panic attack in a month, she’s happier, and I don’t think she’s looking forward to going back to school.”

  Rachel shook her head at him. “She has a long way to go, Shade. As her mind heals, whatever she’s burying in her past will try to come out. The only way she’s ever going to truly heal is if she confronts her past, and Lily doesn’t want to do that. She’s too afraid to.”

  “You heal her mind, and I’ll give her the strength to deal with the rest.”

  She gave him a sad smile. “I know you will, or I wouldn’t have agreed to your terms. If I didn’t believe you were the best thing for Lily, I would have let Greer rot in prison.”

  “I doubt that.”

  “Don’t,” Rachel replied firmly. Walking back to her dog, she reached down and petted its head. “She’s not the only one who has to confront something inside of themselves,” she said before leaving.

  A chill ran down Shade’s spine as he watched her go.

  He went back inside, tossing the bag of reefer to Rider. The party was in full swing. Bliss was bent over the back of the couch as Cash fucked her from behind while Rider watched. Shade didn’t have time to stay and watch, nor could he. It had been four months since he had fucked a woman; as a result, he couldn’t watch them then workout with Lily without making his hard-on noticeable.

  He was an expert at controlling his body, but it was getting beyond his capabilities to keep from showing his desire for her, especially since she persisted in treating him like a fucking friend. He could see the attraction for him in her eyes, but her mind refused to acknowledge what her body was telling her.

  He went back downstairs, firmly closing the door to keep the loud noises of Bliss’s climax from filtering down. He was glad he had put the music on when he had begun stretching out when he saw Lily on the mat, warming up.

  “Sorry, there was something I needed to take care of.”

  “No problem,” Lily said, bouncing up and down on the balls of her feet. “What are we going to work on today? Do you want me to try to knee you again?” Her eager face was lit up with excitement.

  “You seem anxious to take my dick out of commission,” Shade said wryly. He wanted to get off, and she wanted to pound his dick into the matt.

  As Lily laughed, her eyes twinkling, he smiled back. It was worth the pain his dick was giving him to see her so happy. Well, almost, Shade admitted truthfully to himself.

  He had painstakingly been painting a picture with Lily building her trust in him, and he wasn’t going to stop until he had a masterpiece.

  “We’re going to work on something different today,” he said, moving her closer to the wall at the end of the mat. “I want you to try to get out of a specific type of hold. For instance, if you’re getting into your car and someone comes up behind you.”

  Lily nodded, her eyes watching him curiously.

  “You ready?” he asked.

  “Yes.”

  “Turn around.”

  Lily did as told and Shade moved closer to her, pressing his body against her back. Lily’s hand automatically went to the wall to keep herself from being pressed against it, leaving her helpless. He felt the second she began to panic, but forced himself to wait for her next instinctive move.

  One of her arms left the wall, going back to try to push him away, but his hand caught her wrist, bringing it backward to her lower back. Her other hand automatically went back but it was also captured, leaving her defenseless and pressed flat against the wall.

  With his lower body flush against her butt, her breathing escalated and she went limp. Shade stepped back, and Lily began to slide down the wall without his weight holding her in place.

  Shade had hoped she would have been able to tolerate the hold for a few seconds longer. Any time he took a step forward with her, he took two steps backward. He had to find a way to make her take more steps forward, or she would stay in the same place forever.

  Once Shade took her arm, leading her to the corner and leaving her there to stand alone, she stood, gasping for breath, her hands going to her head and clutching her hair.

  “Hands to your side. Stand up straight. Lily, by now you should know how I want you to stand.”

  She corrected her posture, her shoulders straightening as her hands obediently went to her side. Her submissive nature clung to his dominant voice for direction.

  He took a drink from his bottled water before he went to the weights and began working out while ignoring her, giving her the time and space to analyze her feelings. He watched as her expressive face showed her resentment at being thrown into turmoil.

  “Lose the attitude, Lily, or my hand is going to be on that bouncy butt.” Shade was sitting on the weight bench with the weight paused in an upward position as he took in her look of shocked horror. “I didn’t say I would beat you, Lily. But I will smack that ass if you don’t behave.” His blue eyes stared into her violet ones.

  Lily gasped, turning her head toward the wall and breaking eye contact with him.

  “Eyes forward,” Shade said, continuing his arm curls.

  Lily’s eyes returned to him.

  “I shouldn’t have reached back,” she said after a few moments.

  “No,” Shade answered. It hadn’t taken her long to figure out her mistake, and she had recovered much faster than he had anticipated.

  Lily took a step forward.

  “Are you ready to go back to the mat?”

  “Yes,” Lily said determinedly.

  “Turn around.”

  She met his gaze briefly then followed his directions. That time, when Shade grabbed her, pushing her against the wall, she braced herself with her arms.

  “What do I do next?” Lily’s voice trembled when he pressed his body against hers.

  He talked to her firmly, giving her directions in a voice she could hold on to instead of the threatening darkness. She did exactly as he told her and while her movements were too timid, her initial terror had eased.

  Shade released her. “Enough?”

  “Yes.” Lily turned around to face him then slid along the wall away from him.

  “We’ll work on that until you get it right. You need to learn how to defend yourself when someone comes up behind you. Men who attack women are confident that you’ll panic, that you’ll be too startled to be able to defend yourself.”

  “I’ll work on it until I get it right.”

  “I know you will. You’re learning fast. I’m proud of you,” Shade complimented.

  “Thank you, Sir.” Lily reached out and hugged him. “I really appreciate all your help.”

  Shade had to use all his willpower not to drag her back when she pulled away.

  “I’ll get changed.” She walked away with a spring in her step.

  Shade nearly ran his hand over her ass as she passed him.

  He was waiting for her next to the basement door which led outside when he got a text from Viper saying the Ohio brothers were asking about him. He sent a text back that Lily was about to leave, and then he would be up. When she came back within minutes, her eyes traveled up the steps to the closed door.

  “It sounds like a football game is going on up there,” she remarked.

  “Several of the brothers from Ohio are down for the weekend,” Shade answered, holding the door open for her, anxious for her to be gone. It was only a matter of time before some of the brothers came downstairs.

  “Oh.”

  Shade was walking her out the door whe
n his cell phone rang.

  “Is she gone yet? The brothers are getting anxious, and the women want to play with the stripper pole,” Viper’s voice came over the line.

  “Give me five. I need a shower and to get changed.”

  “You go ahead,” Lily told him.

  “You sure?”

  “My car is just around the corner,” Lily said dolefully.

  “All right. I’ll see you later,” Shade replied, going back inside.

  “Bye.”

  He closed the door behind him when he saw her turn the corner which led to the parking lot. Then he went into his shower as he heard footsteps running down the steps from the kitchen. Viper must have given the all-clear for the members to come downstairs.

  Shade stepped under the shower just long enough to rinse the sweat off, barely drying off before tugging on clean clothes. He opened his bedroom door, going down the hall.

  Evie and Rider came out wet from the room with the hot tub. Evie wasn’t wearing a top, and her shorts had been left unbuttoned while Rider was wearing jeans.

  “We were going to have some beer while we were in the hot tub, but someone must have taken the last one from the mini-fridge and didn’t restock.”

  “I could send some down for you,” Shade offered as he continued upstairs, following behind Evie and Rider.

  “Don’t bother. I forgot condoms, too, so I need to run upstairs to my room for more,” Rider said.

  “You shouldn’t have used them all on Bliss,” Shade joked.

  “I have more.” Rider tried to pinch Evie’s ass as she went up the stairs first.

  Evie opened the door to the kitchen and Shade saw her hesitate, but he merely thought the door was blocked with all the members and the brothers from Ohio. When Rider stopped, however, Shade knew something was wrong. Rider moved, and then Shade took the final step, entering the kitchen and coming face to face with something he had tried to keep from happening.

  Lily was standing in the kitchen, her face a pale, tortured mask. His own face froze at her expression. He didn’t have to be told what she had seen. The members’ faces showed that Lily had seen it all. Her whimpers alone were ripping his heart to sheds.

  Beth was in the doorway which led to the clubroom. She took a step forward at the same time he did, but Lily backed away from them. They both tried to speak at the same time, yet her whimpers of pain rose in volume, preventing her from hearing their words. Lily then ran from the kitchen and out the backdoor.