Shade

by Jamie Begley

  “Lily!” Shade yelled, running after her, but she didn’t stop despite Beth’s pleas along with his.

  She ran down the path, her hair flying behind her and her screams filling the air. She almost fell down several times, tripping over her own feet as Shade ran like hell after her, his hand almost managing to catch her hair, but he didn’t want to hurt her by grabbing her that way.

  Ultimately, with a burst of speed, she jumped into her car, slamming and locking it before he could jerk it open. Her heartbroken cries spurred him to try opening the locked door.

  “Lily, open the door. Please, baby, open the door.”

  Beth and Razer pulled him back from the car as she put it in gear, tearing out of the parking lot.

  “Let me fucking go!” Shade jerked himself away from Razer and Beth.

  He bent over, catching his breath. Not because he had winded himself running after Lily, but because of the look on her face when he had stepped into the kitchen.

  “Shade…” Beth laid a hand on his back.

  He straightened, turning around to see the brothers and women lined up on the walkway, watching. “What in the fuck happened? Why was she in the club?” he snarled.

  Cash took a step forward, holding a wiggling Miranda by her arm. “Miranda came looking for Kaley, and when she couldn’t get in the front door, she ran up the path and got in through the back. Lily was trying to stop her by coming after her. Brother, I’m afraid there’s not much she doesn’t know now. Kaley told Miranda about the votes and how the women get them.”

  Shade’s hands clenched, wanting to rip the women apart.

  “Viper,” Shade spoke in a deadly calm voice which belied the hatred he was feeling at the moment.

  “I’ll handle it. Cash, take Miranda and Kaley to my room. I’ll talk to them there in a minute.”

  Cash nodded, lifting a struggling Miranda off her feet while Nickel took Kaley’s arm. When she would have jerked away from the rough-looking biker, he tossed her over his shoulder and carried her inside.

  Beth and Razer moved toward Razer’s bike, but Shade stopped them.

  “You have to go get changed before you go home.”

  Beth looked down at her short skirt and fringed vest before nodding, her face going as white as Lily’s. Then she ran back into the clubhouse.

  “You going to ride your bike without shoes?” Shade asked Razer who was staring at him oddly.

  “You calmed down?”

  Shade nodded grimly. “Lily was going to find out sooner or later, though I never wanted her to find out this way,” he replied grimly. “This shit is going to hit her hard, and she isn’t ready for it. Truthfully, I don’t think she ever would have been, and I probably would have put off telling her until she found out some other way. This way, it’s out of my hands.”

  “Isn’t that convenient for you? Lily, not so much,” Razer snapped.

  “Don’t blame this crap festival on me, but don’t expect me to cry over spilled milk, either. She found out, and now we have to fix it.”

  “That’s not going to be easy,” Razer warned, looking at the empty road Lily had driven away on.

  “No, it isn’t,” Shade agreed. “But it’s the only option I have because I’m not giving her up.”

  Chapter 47

  ”There she is,” Shade told Razer when Lily turned the corner.

  “It took her a long time to walk from class,” Razer remarked.

  Too fucking long, Shade thought.

  Penni had given him Lily’s class schedule. She had graduated in May, but the two women had remained in touch, having become good friends. Shade hadn’t told his half-sister what had happened, because her usual good humor would have disappeared and Shade already had his hands full of upset women without adding more to the mix.

  The women club members were upset that Lily had been hurt. Evie had wanted to call and talk to her, but Shade had told her to wait. If Lily didn’t want to talk to Beth, Evie definitely wasn’t going to be able to reach her. The only women who weren’t troubled were Miranda and Kaley.

  Shade had given Viper the information he needed to keep Miranda’s mouth closed, but Kaley was a vicious bitch who didn’t care about anyone other than herself.

  Train felt guilty for introducing Kaley to the club. The man had a soft spot for women and couldn’t stand to see them hurt. More than one of the women members had fallen in love with Train, but none had been successful in capturing his elusive heart. Shade doubted any woman would, but if they wanted his dick, then he was more than willing to oblige.

  Beth stood, waiting for Lily by her dorm door, and Lily paused before continuing down the sidewalk, keeping her eyes averted from Razer and him. Shade knew damn well she had seen them, though.

  While Beth and Lily talked for a brief moment before walking toward a bench under a tree, Shade watched the expressions of the two sisters. Lily’s was hard, while Beth’s was filled with hurt.

  “It’s not going well,” Razer said.

  “No shit.”

  Lily looked like she had lost ten pounds since she had left Treepoint, and the dress she was wearing needed to be cut into pieces and buried so it couldn’t be sewn back together again. Who in the fuck would make a dress in that ugly color?

  After Lily stood up then went inside her dorm, Beth sat there, watching her go inside.

  Razer and Shade walked to the bench when they saw Beth bury her face in her hands.

  “Beth, please don’t cry, kitten.” Razer sat down next to her, pulling her into his arms.

  “I’ve lost her, Razer. I can see it in her eyes. She’s so hurt. It’s like looking into an open wound.”

  “She’ll get over it.”

  “No, Razer, she won’t. She thinks I’ve lied and deceived her, and she’s right. I should have told her at least parts of it; she could have taken that. What she can’t accept is the one person she trusted hiding things from her.”

  “Did she tell you not to talk to her anymore?”

  “No, but she told me to give her clothes away. She’s cutting herself off from me.”

  “Then don’t let her,” Shade said from behind them.

  Beth looked over her shoulder at him. “She knows everything now, Shade. She knows that Razer and you both are original members. How the women get the votes.”

  “She was bound to find out sooner or later. When you, Winter, and Diamond found out, was it any less painful? But each of you got over it and moved on. Lily will, too,” he said firmly.

  Lily was stronger than any of the other women. She had endured Hell, surviving to become one of the sweetest, loving women he had ever known. He had no doubt she could make it through this.

  “No, she won’t, Shade. Lily is different. She’ll believe that you and Razer took advantage of the women.”

  “That won’t last long when she’s around them,” Shade said ironically.

  Beth got to her feet. “You just don’t get it, Shade. She’s cut not only me, but us all from her heart. That’s what Lily does. Lily doesn’t give second chances with her love.”

  “No, Beth, it’s you who doesn’t understand. Lily’s not going to be given the choice.”

  He started his motor, looking up at the dorm room and willing Lily to look out. However, it remained empty, and Shade’s mouth tightened. What he had told Beth was the truth—he wasn’t going to let Lily cut him out of her life without a fight. He had enough patience to outlast anyone or anything.

  The problem was would Lily survive while he bided his time? Her fragility had shocked him. He couldn’t stand back and watch her suffer. If it worsened, he would be forced to step in, and when he did, there wouldn’t be any going back.

  * * *

  “Get in, Lily.” Shade saw her look through the passenger window at him without saying a word, continuing to walk forward.

  “You can either get in, or I’ll put you in.”

  “Go away.”

  Shade opened the door, getting out of the truck and
walking around the front to open the passenger door. “Get in.”

  “If you don’t go away, I’ll scream,” Lily threatened.

  “Try it and see what I do,” he dared her.

  He had ridden back the day before with Razer and Beth just to turn back around with Rider’s truck and check into a hotel nearby. He wasn’t leaving until he knew she would be fine and was eating something, because it looked like she had lost too much weight. He also wanted to make sure she understood everyone’s need to keep her out of the loop.

  Lily gave a long sigh, which had Shade wanting to paddle her ass. He wasn’t Beth; his relationship with The Last Riders was one he had every intention of explaining to her, but he wasn’t going to apologize for his relationships with them.

  Besides, he wasn’t in a relationship with her; he was free and single. However, as soon as he had decided to begin a relationship with her, he hadn’t touched any of the women. His sexual past was his, and she was going to have to accept it, just like he was going to have to accept hers.

  He had never anticipated being in a relationship, although if he had given it any thought at all, the woman would have enjoyed the same sexual freedom he did. He had never once entertained the thought that the woman would, at the mere thought of having sex with him, go into a full-fledged panic attack. He had never assumed he would fall in love, but she had driven those misconceptions out of his mind.

  Now it was his turn to change her mind about the type of man she wanted.

  She finally climbed into the truck, and then Shade slammed the door closed before going around the front and getting back inside. When he put the truck in gear, driving out of the parking lot, Lily sat staring out the window, refusing to talk as he drove through the small town.

  It wasn’t long before he pulled into a restaurant with a drive-thru, ordering food. He didn’t ask what she wanted since she would have refused. Besides, he knew the foods she liked and didn’t, because the lunches they had shared had shown him.

  Shade took the bag of food, driving back onto the road without a word passing between them. As the aromas filled the truck cab, Shade noticed Lily turn a sickly shade of green, clutching her stomach. Hastily, he rolled down his window.

  “Don’t you dare throw up. Rider will be pissed enough when he sees his truck is gone.”

  Thankfully, after a few seconds of the fresh air, she regained a little color to her cheeks.

  He pulled into the parking lot of the local hotel, stopping in front of the room he had rented. Picking up the bag, he walked to the room and unlocked the door before placing the bag inside then going back to the truck for Lily. If she fought him, he didn’t want the food dumped in the parking lot.

  He opened the door on her side to see her staring back at him with a stubborn expression, which was okay with him. It was better than the lifeless one he had seen her walking around campus with over the past couple of days.

  “Get out.”

  “Quit ordering me around. I’m not going in there.”

  He wasn’t going to argue with her. Lifting her into his arms, Shade then slammed the door closed with his shoulder before carrying her struggling form into the room.

  The room was small but it held two beds, a small table, and a dresser with a television. He sat her down on one of the chairs by the small, round table in the room. When she would have jumped to her feet, he leaned down, placing a hand on each side of the chair she was sitting in, effectively blocking her in.

  “Lily, I am a man with infinite patience, but you are trying me. I advise you to keep your ass on that chair. Do you understand me?” He would not allow her to keep neglecting her health. She was self-destructing, and he wasn’t going to tolerate it.

  Shade straightened, going to the other chair and sitting down. Then he opened the bag, pulling out a small cup of soup as well as several packs of crackers and setting them in front of her with a plastic spoon.

  “Eat.”

  “Will you please quit ordering me around?” Lily asked again, her voice as cold as ice.

  “I’ll think about it.” Shade’s lips twitched in amusement at her frosty gaze.

  As Lily took the lid off the soup and started turning green again, Shade remembered when he had been on an assignment and went without food. Afterward, his stomach had wanted to reject what it needed most.

  “Eat a cracker first.”

  Lily’s trembling fingers tore open a pack of the crackers, removing one. She nibbled on it slowly then ate another.

  Shade ate the large burger and fries he had bought for himself, watching her as she struggled to eat her soup and crackers. Gradually, her appetite returned, and she began to eat more.

  Shade finished eating then set a chocolate shake in front of her. It would give her some much needed calories. During their lunches over the summer, he had asked for whoever made their lunch to make her a milkshake a couple of times a week because he enjoyed watching her enthusiasm when she received the delicious treat.

  She started to cry as she drank it. “I hate you.”

  “I know.” Shade removed his sunglasses, letting her see his remorse. She wasn’t ready to hear the words yet, but he wanted her to see that he hadn’t wanted to hurt her.

  She quit eating, sitting there with tears coursing down her cheeks, turning her face away from him.

  Shade stood, picking her up and carrying her to the bed where he laid her down. “Sleep, Lily. You’ll feel better when you wake up. You’re exhausted.”

  Lily closed her eyes, curling into a small ball with her hand under her cheek, and Shade sat down on the bed next to hers as she gave a shuddering breath. When her body went limp and her breathing slowed, he stood up and took the blanket off his bed to cover her.

  He leaned forward, brushing his lips across her cheek before lying down next to her, easing her back against his chest with his arm across her waist.

  “Sleep, baby. I’m here. I’ll always be here.”

  * * *

  She slept the rest of the day and into the night. Shade was sitting in the chair at the table when she woke, sitting up in bed.

  “What time is it?”

  “Ten o’clock. You’ve slept six hours.”

  “Oh.” Lily brushed her hands through her hair.

  “There are clothes for you in the bag. Go take a shower.” He had purchased the items he had thought she would need before he had picked her up.

  She picked up the bag he had placed on the bottom of her bed and then went into the bathroom without a word.

  As she showered, he made sandwiches then ate his while she took her time in the bathroom. He had gone to the grocery store after he had rented the hotel room to purchase food he could make himself without having to cook, and the mini-fridge was stocked with enough food for several days. He had no intention of leaving Lily alone in the emotional state she was in.

  Shade opened his mouth to demand for her to eat, but she forestalled him, holding up her hand. “I’ll eat.”

  Pacified, he lay down on one of the beds and watched television, feeling her eyes on him while she ate.

  When she was finished, she threw away the trash and the empty milk carton. “Will you take me back to my dorm now?”

  “Later. Come here.”

  Getting up, she went to the phone on the bedside table instead of listening to him. However, before she could place a call, Shade jerked the phone from her hand then tugged her down onto the bed. Lily froze as he lifted and adjusted her until she was lying on the bed with her head on the pillow.

  “I’ll take you back in the morning in time for your eight o’clock class.”

  “I want to go now,” Lily said between clenched teeth.

  “Too bad.” Shade lay down on the bed next to her, adjusting the pillow until he could see the television.

  “You’re unbelievable. You think you can do anything you want,” she said resentfully.

  When Shade ignored her, turning the volume up, Lily crossed her arms over her ches
t. He felt the silent waves of her hurt hitting him as she lay there stiffly, making sure she didn’t touch him. Eventually, though, she was drawn into the old black-and-white movie and ended up falling back asleep before it was over.

  Shade rolled her closer to him, pulling up the blanket to cover the both of them before turning off the television. He left the bedside light on, not wanting her to wake up in the dark. She had been through enough traumas lately without having to wake to old nightmares.

  In the morning, he rose early to shower and dress. Then, going to the bed, he stood staring down at the woman who had captured his soul with her violet eyes.

  “Move it if you don’t want to miss your class.”

  Lily got up from the bed, following him outside, and neither of them said anything as they drove.

  Shade went through a drive-thru, getting her breakfast and handing it to her before continuing back to her campus. She was finished eating by the time he pulled up outside her dorm.

  Opening the door, she slid out of the truck, slamming the door behind her without saying a word to him. Shade watched her until she stepped inside her dorm, and then he drove away despite not wanting to leave her. He wanted to stay and walk her to class.

  He snorted at himself. He had never walked a girl to class when he was in high school or college, arrogantly believing it was lame. It was funny how the inconsequential moments of his youth had come back to bite him in the ass.

  * * *

  When Shade showed up the rest of the week, taking her to his hotel room every evening, Lily quit trying to argue with him and didn’t speak a word to him once. He learned he couldn’t wait in the truck for her; instead, he stood under a tree which had a view of both the front and back doors of her dorm.

  Security approached him the second day, which he thought was bullshit. They should have noticed a hell of a lot sooner. He handed a card to the nervous guard and told him to leave him alone, and the security guard moved away, placing a call to someone Shade was sure was his supervisor. Five minutes later, the security guard was in his car and driving away. One advantage of doing certain jobs for the government was they made sure to keep him happy.