Forbidden Desires

by Jenna Hartley

  We look at each other, and I wrinkle my nose. “You know, I didn’t really like my own rule anyway, but I thought it would be important for us.”

  Taking one of my hands, he brings it to his mouth for a soft kiss. “No point in denying how much I hated the rule from the second you said it, but I understand why you did it. And that’s exactly the reason why nothing else is going to happen tonight, even though I already know it’s going to be pure torture for me. I’ll probably need a really cold shower in the morning. By myself this time. No more sneaking up on me like you did earlier.”

  Just the thought of our shower session makes my body tingle in places I thought wouldn’t tingle for a while. “I know you liked my little surprise as much as I did.”

  “Are you kidding me? I loved every minute of it.”

  My face grows hot at his words. “I’m glad. I enjoyed it too. A lot.”

  His hands capture my cheeks, and he gives me one of the softest kisses anyone has ever given me. It’s a kiss that leaves me breathless, the emotions behind it nearly overwhelming me again like in the shower.

  Something has changed, every little touch, look, or gesture affecting me in a way that makes me feel safe but also a little anxious. If his wide eyes are anything to go by, he’s just as overwhelmed as I am.

  After another long moment of wordlessly staring at each other, I blow out a puff of air and give him a shaky smile. “Should we take a look at the menu?”

  He gives me a once-over, and I playfully slap his arm. “Will you stop it already?”

  “Sorry. I’ll be good now, I promise.” He gets the menu from his nightstand but gives me a serious look before handing it to me. “Just know that this is important to me, more important than having sex. I want to give us a real chance.”

  His words stun me for a moment before I manage to swallow my feelings that threaten to bubble over. This day has turned me into an emotional mess. Lifting one of my hands, I gently run it over his stubbled cheek. “I feel the same, which is the reason I came up with this silly rule, not that I was able to follow it for long.”

  The smile on his face is slow and sexy, once more not helping the situation one bit.

  “Would you stop looking at me like that already?” I throw my hands in the air and hop off the bed, motioning with my hand for him to give me the menu.

  Carter laughs, but gives in to my request.

  We order what seems like half the menu and enjoy our quiet night in, breaking my rule once more.

  Again, my fault.

  Chapter 28

  Carter

  Saying our first date was a success might be the understatement of the year.

  No, scratch that.

  Understatement of the century.

  We had another fun-filled day before heading back to Malibu. It’s impossible to deny how things have changed in one week. We spend as much time together as work allows, and I’m enjoying this new routine of meeting up at her place after a long day of work, not to mention relaxing together on the weekend.

  That means I spend most of my time at Julia’s place, and she keeps pointing out how much money I’m wasting on my hotel room. Of course, she’s got a point, but I’m planning on rectifying that as soon as I can.

  After all the crap I gave Ollie about doing this exact same thing with Cora and how boring it must be, I finally get it. I can’t imagine there being anything more relaxing than winding down together with a good meal, a great movie, and of course, some mind-blowing sex.

  “Carter. What are you still doing in bed?” Julia walks into the room with a towel wrapped around her body and another one around her hair, her eyes wide when she sees me.

  I don’t say anything back and shrug. My eyes travel up and down her body, taking in the tanned skin and curves. Curves I wouldn’t mind devouring once more, still not satiated after the sex we had when I got back early from work.

  It was weird to go to work this morning after spending all weekend with her. Not in a bad way, just different. But then, I got my first taste of that last week after our Disneyland trip.

  When I’m with her, real life almost disappears, and I wonder if I’ll ever get enough of this woman.

  “Stop ogling and get ready. Neither the sex nor the catnap was planned, and my brother won’t be happy if we’re late for dinner. It’s a miracle he invited us at all, so we probably don’t want to push our luck just yet.” Gazing out the window for a moment, a deep frown etches her forehead before she snorts. “Even though I’m almost certain this is Cora’s doing. Ollie is way too much of a butthead to come around this quickly by himself.”

  Things have been going well with us since our first official date—even though I definitely don’t consider that the start of us, it probably began way earlier than I even realize—but this fight with her brother is harder on her than she admits. I’m not happy about it either, but I’m also not concerned about it. But then it’s her brother and not mine.

  Although, I guess that’s not strictly true. I do get it. One of the things their dad impressed upon Ollie was how to care for Julia, how to not only love her but respect her, even though she was younger. And the feeling is mutual.

  Yes, they fought. Still fight. But there’s always been a much deeper devotion between them. And I know that’s what Jules worries about the most. That their fierce connection will be lost. But it won’t be. Ollie won’t allow that to happen, and that’s what I’m trusting in.

  I get out of bed and walk to where she’s rummaging through her dresser. My footsteps are quiet, swallowed up by the plush cream carpet. Her body shivers when I come up behind her. “Stop worrying about it so much. It’s all good. In the end, it doesn’t really matter if Cora’s behind it or not. The most important thing is that he agreed to do it, and we get to spend some time with him. Both of us, together. I’ll be right there beside you the whole time. All right?”

  She straightens and I put my arms around her, kissing her bare shoulder, wanting to reassure her. If I could, I’d take all the problems and worries away from her.

  Right here. Right now. Forever.

  Thankfully, she relaxes and leans her head back on my chest. “I just want things to go back to normal. I hate having two separate camps with you guys. It makes me feel like I’m choosing between the two of you, and I don’t like it. Not one bit.”

  I squeeze her, nuzzling her neck, loving the fact that I know this soothes her. “No one is making you choose between us. It won’t ever come to anything like that, I promise.”

  I hate seeing her like this, especially knowing I’m part of the reason. I’m half of the problem. If it wasn’t for me, she wouldn’t have any issues with her brother. The thought alone makes my stomach churn.

  Julia puts her hands on mine, brushing her thumb over my skin. “Hey. Don’t you start worrying now too.”

  Shaking my head, I let out a breath, making her shiver as it hits her exposed skin. To distract both of us, I lower my head and start trailing soft kisses up and down the curve of her neck. I inhale deeply, loving her fresh scent that reminds me of a tropical beach vacation.

  Maybe we should take one of those once we have some downtime. I don’t think I’ve ever thought of going on a vacation with a woman before, but it feels right. Imagining it makes me . . . happy. Like pretty much everything concerning Julia does.

  Her pulse quickens under my lips, and knowing I’m the one doing this to her is a major ego boost.

  “Carter.” My name falls from her lips in a breathy whisper, making me push even farther into her, sucking on her skin a little harder. “We need to stop.”

  Her words don’t sound convincing, but sadly, my mind chooses to intervene too, forcing the rational part of my brain to take over. With a frustrated groan, I let go of her neck and take a small step back.

  The same frustration and desperation is mirrored in Julia’s eyes when she gazes at me over her shoulder. “Rain check?”

  After a resigned nod, I give her cheek a kiss and squ
eeze her butt, making her squeal. “I’ll be good now, I promise.”

  I hold up my hands and move away so we can both get ready.

  Oliver opens the door and stares at us for a moment before springing into action. “Hey, guys. Come on in.”

  The words come out slightly grumbled, but at least, he traded the frown for a small smile.

  Progress.

  “Hey, Ollie. It’s so good to see you.” Julia goes in for a quick hug that looks a bit unnatural for them, but it’s better than the glare he’s shooting me over her shoulder.

  For now, I’m happy he remains calm at the sight of his sister and me together. “Thanks so much for inviting us.”

  Another grumble from Oliver as we stand in the doorway in awkward silence.

  It’s a little odd being at the house when he kicked me out three weeks ago.

  “Are you guys planning on staying out there all night? Come on in already.” Cora’s voice comes from somewhere inside the house. Judging by the smell permeating the air, my guess is the kitchen.

  Since I was usually the one cooking here, I doubt Oliver has donned an apron for us.

  I put my hand on Julia’s lower back and give her a gentle push so we can finally go inside. She takes the lead, and Ollie walks silently next to me, immediately joining Cora’s side when we get to the kitchen.

  Cora greets us with a big smile. “I hope you’re hungry. I might have gone a little overboard. But what can I say, I love cooking.” She shrugs and chuckles.

  Julia walks over to the sink and washes her hands. “Is there anything we can help you with? Anything else to prep?”

  I follow Julia’s lead and wash my hands too. “It smells great.”

  Cora shakes her head. “Not really. It’s all done, but thank you. We just need to put the food on the table if you want to help with that.”

  I look at all the dishes she points at and laugh. “You weren’t exaggerating, were you? Have you been in the kitchen all day?”

  “Carter’s right. You didn’t have to make all of this for us.” Julia squeezes Cora’s arm and chuckles. “It looks awesome though. I can’t wait to dig in.”

  Cora’s smile could light up the whole room. “I wasn’t sure what everyone felt like, so I made different pizzas, salads, appetizers, and desserts. Ollie helped a lot too though when he got home, so I can’t take all the credit.” She sends him an adoring look that he returns.

  For a moment, I wonder if that’s the same way Julia and I look at each other.

  Oliver bends down to kiss Cora’s cheek. “I just cut a few things here and there, babe. You can hardly give me any credit for that.”

  My gaze flickers to Julia, who’s beaming at the sight of the couple in front of us, without a doubt happy to see them together like this. I’m happy for him too though. They really are a great couple.

  Cora gives Ollie a quick kiss before clapping her hands. “Shall we? Everyone grab something so we can get started.”

  With four people, it doesn’t take us long until we’re seated. Even though the dining table can easily seat six to eight people, the food still barely fits.

  We all dig in, and I can’t stop gazing at Julia. She’s clearly enjoying the food, continuously closing her eyes to savor the flavors.

  I might watch her eat all night if she keeps going like this.

  Grabbing her water, she takes a drink before setting the glass back down. “Cora, this is so good. You’ll have to give me the recipes for everything. I can’t decide what I like best.”

  “I’m so glad you like it. I’d be happy to give you the recipes. Most of it is super easy. I really like to cook, but I’m also super lazy, so I prefer easy dishes that don’t take forever to make.” Cora chuckles and looks at us, waving her hands in our direction. “Enough about me though. Did you guys do anything fun recently?” She looks at Julia and winks.

  We haven’t talked a lot about Cora, so I’m not sure if she knows what we’ve been up to or not.

  Julia gives her a delightful smile in response. “We did actually. Carter took me on a date to Disneyland last weekend and we ended up staying for two days.”

  Oliver’s fork stops midway to his mouth as he gapes at us. It takes him a few moments to regain his composure before he clears his throat. “Wow. That’s . . . great. You stayed there the whole weekend?” His eyes flicker to me before focusing back on his sister.

  Julia, of course, can’t hide her absolute joy and exuberance, gracing us with the same goofy smile she gets every time she thinks about the trip. “Ollie, it was sooooo amazing. We did everything you can possibly imagine, went on a lot of the old rides, and tried the new ones too. Carter didn’t complain once. It was awesome. Perfect really.”

  Thankfully, he gives her a genuine smile in return, allowing them to share a moment. I take this as a good sign, hoping things will get better from here on—at least for the two of them. Ollie’s behavior tonight makes it seem like Julia was right, and it was mainly Cora’s doing that brought us together tonight.

  Ultimately, it doesn’t really matter though as long as it helps smooth things over so everything can change for the better. It also makes me incredibly grateful to Cora for trying to fix our relationships. It doesn’t have to be her problem, but she’s made it hers too. Such a good deed. She’s such a great counterbalance to Ollie’s somewhat inflexible nature. It makes me wonder if Julia and I complement each other similarly.

  “How’s the house-hunting going?” Cora’s eyes are fixed on me.

  I choke on the drink I just took and feel everyone’s gaze on me. Way to go, Carter. It’s just a simple question. “I’ll catch up this week with everything. The hotel is obviously only temporary.”

  Cora shoots Oliver a look when I mention the hotel, but he avoids her gaze and stays silent.

  We polish off an impressive amount of food, while Cora carries most of the conversation for the night, even though I admit that Ollie’s tried. When they refuse any help from us to clean up, Julia and I get ready to leave.

  The goodbye seems a little less awkward than the welcome, and Oliver even gives me a small smile and a nod. That’s more than I’ve gotten from him since I dropped the bomb about his sister and me, so I take it.

  He really does like to hold his grudges.

  But I’m sure things will be back to normal soon.

  Chapter 29

  Julia

  “How do you feel about tonight? Do you think it went well?” My words hit the darkness of my bedroom, knowing Carter isn’t asleep yet. He’s behind me, his arm tightly wrapped around my middle.

  He exhales, his breath tickling my skin. “I think so.”

  Neither one of us approached the topic as we drove back to my apartment, following our night routine before slipping into my queen-sized bed—which won’t be big enough for the two of us forever.

  Even though we’re alone in the room—in the whole apartment—we both whisper. I wonder if it has something to do with the late time of the day, the blackness surrounding us except for the nightlight shining through the door from the hallway. I was so used to having an en-suite bathroom that I ran into something more than once when I had to use the bathroom in the middle of the night. So, nightlight in the hallway it is.

  Carter moves his hand away from my stomach but keeps it loosely on my waist. “You don’t think it went well?”

  I turn around to face him, focusing on whatever I can make out in the darkness. Then, I think about his question and sigh. “I’ve been thinking about it ever since we left Ollie’s house, but I’m still not sure. I don’t think it went terribly, but I had hoped it would be better than it was. Maybe it’s just me, and I’m a little off today.”

  Carter brushes his hand across my cheek, his voice calm. “Give it some time. I’m sure it’ll be like old times before you know it. He’s seen us together now and didn’t lose it, so I think that means we’re over the worst. And I’ll take that for now. It’s definitely a good first step.”

 
; “You’re right. It really did go well when you look at it that way. I guess it was stupid of me to expect things to just go back to normal.”

  His hand stills. “Hey, there’s nothing wrong or stupid about that at all. You just want your relationship with your brother to be okay again, as anyone would. I want it too, but I’ve also butted heads with him more often than you have, so I’m used to him needing a while to cool off. Forcing it never really works.”

  I lean into his hand, loving how the warmth of his skin seeps into my own.

  Just then, his phone lights up on his nightstand, and Carter sits up to look at it, a small smile pulling at his lips at whatever he’s reading. He types something before groaning. “Dang battery. I better get the charger. Do you need anything from the kitchen?”

  “Some water would be nice, thank you.” The words come out a bit rough, and Carter nods.

  “Of course. Be right back.”

  Usually, I watch his retreating back, but this gnawing feeling has me glancing at his phone on the bed instead. The way he smiled at whatever he was reading . . . it was that same shy smile he so seldom shows. And usually he leaves his phone in the kitchen at night, but tonight he wanted to keep it on him. Different what-if scenarios shoot through my head, one more unwelcome than the next, each making me feel sick to my stomach.

  Goodness, I’m not even sure where these thoughts are coming from right now. This whole evening has thrown me off.

  Just then, the screen lights up again, the words clear for me to see on the lock screen. Can’t wait to show you what I got. See you in the morning.

  The screen is dark again by the time Carter comes back and hands me a glass.

  “You okay?” The concern in his voice is unmistakable, but suddenly, my brain’s a total mess, going so fast I can barely make out a thought.

  The words of the message blink like a neon sign in my mind, weaseling their way into my head. Into my heart. Even though I know this is irrational, I’m unable to keep the seed of doubt from planting.