Emma Ever After

by Brigid Coady

  ‘Drive. Drive. Drive,’ he said breathlessly, waving with one hand as he tried to buckle his seatbelt with the other. He was also ducking his head to hide his face from anyone who could see.

  ‘Chill, Ed. The windows are tinted,’ Paul said from the front seat, as he quietly put the van in drive and slowly pulled away.

  ‘Just get me out of here as fast as possible. She squeezed my bottom, Emma. How is that in the contract?’ Ed sounded affronted and not a little scared.

  Between Frankie and the bears, which sounded like a group from the Seventies, Emma realised that she was still pushing that large stone up the hill.

  ***

  The hotel bar was residents and their guests only. This meant the band and team could hang out in a dark corner without being bothered. It would’ve been nice to have been out by the pool but the large alcoholic drink in front of Ed meant that was out. It had been purchased through a good bit of finagling by Paul plus a large tip and a promise of an autograph to the bartender. She said she’d keep the drinks coming if Gee threw his autograph in there too.

  Ed sucked down the drink as if it were water after a long time in the desert.

  ‘She was horrible,’ he said once the alcohol had relaxed him enough. ‘She wouldn’t stop grabbing at me. And her hands were so cold. Like dead fish.’

  He took another drink, as if that would wash away the aftereffects of it all.

  ‘Well, you don’t have to see her till Christmas, do you?’ Will said, putting his arm round Ed and hugging him.

  Emma didn’t think it was the time to say there was a likely second date planned for when they were in New York next month. No point in upsetting things if she didn’t need to.

  Gee sat next to her in silence. She didn’t think it was possible for someone to drink a beer contemptuously but he seemed to be managing it well. The only reason he wasn’t saying anything was because everyone was there and much as Gee might like to tell her his thoughts, he usually did it in private.

  Thank goodness, they were leaving at the weekend, she thought. Although she was worried that she was leaving without working out who was behind those damn bears.

  She took a drink of wine and let the conversation go on around her. She watched Will whisper in Ed’s ear to make him laugh, his hand hanging over Ed’s shoulder. The door to the bar opened, letting bright sunshine in. A shaft of it hit Will’s orange hand.

  Why was Will’s hand orange? It wasn’t fake tan. They had all sworn off that ever since a disaster on an awards show when they looked like they’d been dipped in creosote.

  But his hand was definitely orange, a pumpkin kind of orange.

  He couldn’t be… could he? The thought of how Will had given in so easily on Sunday. How they all seemed to be going along at least in theory with their narratives.

  She looked up and saw Will staring at her, was that a smirk on his face?

  He lifted his hand off Ed’s shoulder and using a bar mat started picking at the nails on his hand.

  ‘It’s amazing how hard it is to get pumpkin out from under your nails, don’t you think Emma?’ he said, before putting down the mat and picking up his drink. ‘Cheers,’ he said saluting her before taking a drink.

  Holy… was Will behind the rainbow bears? Was he @bop_bear?

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  She thanked whatever deity allowed her and Gee to be on the same flight back. Even if he was still being grumpy with her.

  Luckily his emergency meeting in Los Angeles had turned out to be short lived and easily fixed. Even though he’d only arrived on the Tuesday, by Saturday afternoon they were at LAX.

  ‘Are you sure you don’t mind leaving now?’ she asked again. She knew he’d wanted to do LA again, but when he’d found out she was leaving on Saturday he’d changed his flight. Especially once he’d realised Lew and Harry had hitched a flight back by private jet.

  ‘It is fine, anyway if I miss Harry and Lewis’ Halloween masquerade they’ll kill me.’ The annual Harville-Deakin Halloween party was a big event, she had been going to it for years. You never knew whether the bloke getting a beer next to you was Austen Wentworth, swoony worthy actor or Harry’s Uber driver. No one turned down an invitation if they got one.

  ‘What are you going as?’ she asked as they dragged their suitcases to check-in.

  ‘It’s going to be a surprise. We’ll see if you can work out which one is me.’ He nudged her shoulder.

  ‘That sucks, Knightley. What happens if I never find you? I’ll have to speak to other people.’ She complained but she’d work out who he was. He always came as a vampire. It was so unoriginal.

  ‘Good afternoon, can I help you?’ the guy behind the counter asked as they got called forward.

  ‘Hey,’ Gee peered at the man’s name tag. ‘John. That would be great.’ He flashed him the patented smile that had won all those awards.

  John didn’t stand a chance. Gee leaned against the desk and before Emma knew it they both were holding new boarding cards for first class. It was a masterclass in flirting.

  Really, he was a danger to the male and female populations.

  ‘I haven’t seen you flirt that heavily in years,’ she said once they were entrenched in LAX’s first class lounge. ‘I swear you could sell ice to the Eskimos.’

  ‘I don’t flirt,’ Gee said as he sat back. And that was it. He didn’t think he was flirting. In Gee’s world, he was being straight forward. Himself.

  ‘You flirt,’ Emma stated. ‘You just don’t know it.’

  What must it be like to be that secure? To know you didn’t have to plan everything to the nth degree to feel at home in your own life. For things to happen and go with it.

  She must be overtired because she wanted to cry. She wanted him to tell her how to do it, how to feel that safe?

  And he really looked like he could still be a popstar. Something about the liquid way his limbs moved as he lounged in the chair. For a city that was used to stars he could still make people turn their heads.

  If only they knew… She smiled, fighting back the tears. She, at least, knew that he slumped like that even when at home watching TV. He was like a cat.

  And now they were on their way home. She couldn’t wait till it was the two of them again.

  ‘For god’s sake Emma, could you not have kept me off their social media.’ Gee grumbled as he stared at his phone. He’d been saying it for the past few days, ever since the selfie with BOTP had gone viral.

  ‘It is good publicity,’ she said.

  ‘But I don’t need any bloody publicity,’ he replied. ‘Oh, and now someone has a blurry photo of my back from when we went through security. My back has never been so photographed. Why is it always when I’m with you that this happens?’

  He might not need publicity now, but at some point he would. Because there would be someone who would come out of the woodwork, with an offer he couldn’t refuse and persuade him to reform Status Single. That was what happened in this industry. And a selfie like that… it would help.

  But then it wouldn’t be the two of them, would it?

  ‘I can hear your mind whirring from here,’ Gee turned his head to look at her and pointed a finger accusingly. ‘I am not reforming the band.’

  ‘Never say never,’ she said. She knew he wrote songs for other people under an assumed name. She wasn’t stupid, she’d heard him playing the guitar and melodies that had lulled her to sleep were suddenly on the radio. She wasn’t sure why he didn’t tell her, and said he was only an engineer. Because at some point, he’d want to do it for himself again.

  ***

  They collapsed back into the house early the next day. Emma wanted to turn off her phone, there was no way she could deal with whatever nonsense was going on. But it was Sunday again and that meant the her parents needed dealing with. Her conversations with them last week seemed simultaneously like yesterday and months ago. A combination of jet lag and the nonsense at work.

  ‘Johnnie, Lewis and
Harry are coming over.’ Gee said from his sofa, his voice muffled by the cushion he had over his face. ‘Lew said he’ll bring food for, as he put it “the proletariat.” Just because he and Haz were on a private jet…’

  She grunted as she hugged her phone to her chest. Didn’t Gee get that he could have that again? Even without a plan he could be that person again, Gee Knightley™.

  God, she was so tired. She yawned so wide she thought she’d dislocated her jaw. She shivered and pulled the blanket that draped over the back of the sofa over her. She’d deal with her parents in a bit.

  ‘Ems?’ Gee said as if he’d been trying to get her attention for a while.

  She woke up groggy from dreams of Lew and Harry dressed like pumpkins, with Will, Ed, Amit and Sean dressed in rainbow onesies, all of them dancing in circles around her and Gee. It was dizzying and disconcerting.

  ‘Wah?’

  ‘The guys will be here in a moment, I thought you might want a shower.’ Gee had shaved, and except for the dark circles and bloodshot eyes it wasn’t obvious he’d been travelling all night.

  ***

  She staggered downstairs an hour later to the sound of laughter and the smell of chicken.

  ‘Ems, baby.’ She was enveloped in a hug by first one person and then two. Lewis was only a little taller than her, he pressed his slightly bristly cheek to hers and covering them both with his gangly limbs was Harry.

  It was almost as good as getting a hug from Gee. Like they were extended family.

  ‘Why didn’t you come and visit us in LA,’ Harry said as he pressed a kiss into the top of her head.

  ‘Because she was too busy babysitting a pack of feral dogs disguised as a boyband and when she wasn’t doing that she was making my life a misery.’ Gee called over from where he was lounging on the battered sofa, his feet up and a bottle of beer in his hand.

  Emma kept her arms wrapped around the two men but flipped the bird at Gee without letting go.

  She untangled herself eventually and sat next to Gee, cuddling close to him and leaning on the arm that was resting over the top of the sofa. She was tired, she could allow herself to relax with him this once.

  ‘I thought Johnnie was coming,’ she said on a yawn.

  When she was like this it felt like the outside world was far away. No wayward popstars using soft toys to make her job harder.

  ‘He said he’ll be here in ten.’ She could feel the words vibrate through Gee where their bodies touched. She could feel her eyes begin to close again.

  ‘Hey, Woodhouse… if you go to sleep again, you won’t sleep tonight.’ He whispered in her ear.

  Damn him for being sensible. Just once she wanted to not be the grown up. And speaking of grown ups, she still hadn’t phoned her parents.

  There was the scrape of a key in the lock as the front door opened and then the scratch and scritch of little nails on the wooden floors before a small pink body came barrelling down the stairs.

  ‘Hey!’ Johnnie’s voice echoed down as he followed the pinkness that was now trying to hump Harry’s leg.

  What the hell?

  ‘Johnnie mate,’ Lew said. ‘What the hell is Georgie wearing?’

  She was glad someone asked. Georgie’s huffing puffing squished pug face and his legs were the only recognisable things about him. He was wrapped in a pink velour onesie with little ears and a horn on his forehead.

  ‘He’s practising for Halloween,’ Johnnie said as he came into the kitchen. ‘He’s a Unipug.’

  ‘He’s an embarrassment is what he is,’ Gee said from behind her.

  Georgie threw himself towards Gee, his backside wriggling.

  ‘Shut your mouth, George Knightley,’ Johnnie said without any kind of heat. ‘Is that any way to talk about your godchild.’

  ‘You are not bringing Georgie to the party, no matter how cute he looks,’ Lew said pointing a large knife at Johnnie, from where he was chopping vegetables.

  ‘But Uncle Lew, I’m really cute,’ Johnnie said in a baby voice.

  ‘Nope. Not happening. He’ll get me sued for any number of sexual harassment claims due to excessive humping.’

  ‘He’s just being friendly,’ Johnnie said.

  ‘My sheepskin coat wants to bring a paternity case against him,’ Harry said from where he was helping to chop vegetables.

  ‘I think you’re being mighty unfair,’ Johnnie grumbled.

  ‘Anyway what are you coming as for the party?’ Emma asked. Maybe Gee would forget that he said it was a surprise.

  ‘You know it is a secret until people get there, young lady.’ It was now her turn to be lectured by Lew and his knife. ‘How can I magic up mischief and mayhem if people know who’s who.’ He cackled.

  ‘Yeah, Lew is giving you a run for your money in the matchmaking stakes.’ Harry said.

  ‘At least, his have a chance of being real,’ Gee said.

  She elbowed him in the chest.

  This, she thought. This was what family was about. She watched as Lew pottered around their kitchen pulling together a Sunday roast, Harry hovering behind him looking at ways he could help and Johnnie sprawled in an armchair to one side chatting happily with Gee as a manic pugicorn raced round the room until he lay panting trying to sit on Lew’s feet and begging for food.

  She thought about the man she had listed on her Google docs. How did she know that he would fit in here like this? He would be the one she was cuddled up with, did that mean she and Gee would have to get two sofas down here as well? But she wouldn’t be living here, would she? She’d be a visitor. Someone else would be on the sofa, part of this tightknit unit.

  She shivered.

  ‘Cold?’ Gee asked and took his arm off the back of the sofa and wrapped it round her.

  She only wanted to cry because she was tired. That was it. She never did well on so little sleep.

  ‘I need to phone Mum and Dad,’ she said. She needed to inject real life into this fantasy world they were wrapping around her. This might be what family should feel like but this wasn’t her family.

  Gee’s arm tightened quickly.

  ‘Are you sure you’re up to it? Why don’t you wait until tomorrow?’

  She would love to but there was a reason she stuck to routine, if she let it slip there was a chance that any manner of other things that could fall out of orbit. And she couldn’t let that happen.

  ‘Might as well get it over with,’ she said, pulling herself out of his hug and traipsing upstairs away from the temptation of letting everything go and seeing where it ended up.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Emma pulled the red cloak further round her and adjusted the face mask so it didn’t drag her wig off.

  She was so tired, quick trips to LA screwed with her sleep patterns. The last thing she needed after two stressful days at work was to be dressed up and going to a party.

  It wasn’t her fault that the bears had happened. Why Si and McKee thought she had any way to stop it she didn’t know… and not one person had said well done for actually getting Ed to the pumpkin patch.

  If one person came dressed as a pumpkin or a bear tonight she wouldn’t be responsible for her actions.

  She gave her name and showed her ID at the door. Security was always tight for the Harville-Deakin Halloween shindig, but it seemed even tighter this year. Lew and Harry wouldn’t say whether it was because Austen and Annie were turning up. They hadn’t even given in when Emma, Gee and Johnnie had threatened to allow Georgie to have free reign with their new sofa.

  She started up the stairs, catching herself as her foot got tangled in her cape. She hated Halloween.

  ‘Oh, Little Red Riding Hood, loving the costume, Emma.’ Lewis came up to her and kissed her on both cheeks as she reached the top of the stairs.

  How had he known it was her? She looked down at her costume. What gave it away?

  ‘What the hell, Lewis. How did you work it out? I have on a wig and a bloody mask?’ How? She looked down at herself
. What gave it away? She had worked hard at it. Made sure the costume was delivered to work so Gee wouldn’t get a look at it.

  If he was going to be mysterious then so would she.

  ‘I’m not giving away my secrets,’ Lew winked at her, then grabbed her hand and led her further into the party.

  It was packed. Or maybe that was the impression because a few people were dressed in full on furry suits. She passed someone who was dressed as a cow, and she had to move quickly to one side so she wasn’t hit by errant udders. The orange hued lighting gave the feeling that they were in the middle of a giant pumpkin. It made her feel a bit nauseous. Lewis stopped a roving waiter, his tray full of different coloured creations, and snagged a glass of some sort of orange cocktail.

  ‘Pumpkin Potion?’ he offered it to her.

  ‘No, thanks,’ she said, shuddering. There was no way she was touching anything pumpkin. She wasn’t going to be able to go into Starbucks until they changed to red cups and started serving eggnog lattes. And she hated eggnog lattes.

  He nodded seriously and grabbed the green concoction in the glass next to it. It had a kiwi slice and a gummy worm hanging from the side of the glass.

  ‘Sugar snake?’ He offered it to her. ‘Be careful it has a bit of spice to it.’

  She took it and sipped, before coughing violently. He wasn’t kidding.

  ‘Told you,’ he laughed. ‘Now come with me, I think what we really need is to find you a big bad wolf to go with your costume.’

  ‘No. Honestly, Lewis. You know I’m not interested in meeting anyone.’ She tried to dig her heels in but he was surprisingly strong and stubborn. He refused to let go of her arm and dragged her further into the party. Why was he doing this? He knew she had a plan and it didn’t include meeting some random man at a masquerade. Lew had always been fascinated by ‘The Grand Plan’ as he liked to call it, they even had a standing monthly meeting, where the two of them went to the pub and he made her give him a status update. He was always threatening to set an agenda and take minutes.