Down & Dirty_Axel

by Jeanne St. James

  “No. None. I sent out a press release today and it should be on the news tonight. Now people will be keeping an eye out.”

  “Too late, though.”

  “I also mentioned that we’re asking the public to step up and donate.”

  “I hope it works.”

  “Most people get upset when something like this affects children. We may get more donations now than ever. Everyone at the station has pledged to donate at least five more toys each.”

  “Time’s running out, Axel.”

  “It’ll be fine. We can do this.”

  “Still want those bastards caught.”

  “You know they’re wily fuckers. Never staying in one place too long. Which reminds me, I do need to stop in and talk to Ace.”

  “About what?”

  “He might have close connections with the area pawn shops. They may be more willing to give him a heads up if the stolen goods show up in their shops than they would be talking to the PD. We did put a notice out to all pawn shops in Pennsylvania and the surrounding states.”

  Ace. It was a good idea to stop in and talk to him. She may have to do that before Axel. She needed to check the boxes she’d set up there, anyhow. She’d left the toys in all the club’s donation boxes at the DAMC businesses since they were safer there for now.

  “What should we do about storing any of the toys we collect from here on out?”

  “We’ve got an empty office at the station we’re going to use. If you want—”

  “No. I’ll find a safe spot.” Like D’s warehouse. But she wasn’t going to tell Axel that because then he’d realize she told Diesel about the Warriors’ thieving asses. “How am I supposed to keep this from the guys?”

  “Eventually you’re not going to be able to. I’m just asking for you to keep it between us for now, so we at the PD can do our jobs and not worry about a bunch of vigilantes interfering.”

  “Vigilantes,” she snorted.

  Axel cocked an eyebrow her way. “How much do you know about Diesel’s so-called Shadows.”

  “Not much.”

  “When I questioned you in the hospital the day D got shot, you looked like you knew more than you wanted to say.”

  She avoided his eyes. “Right. Club business and all that.”

  Axel sighed and sat up, dislodging her again.

  She rolled onto her side and propped her head up on her hand. “What?”

  He stared at her until a tingle skittered down her spine. It was not the pleasurable type of tingle. Disappointment crossed his face. “You’re right. This isn’t going to work, Bella. If you’re going to hide shit from me, lie to me when it comes to the club and everyone involved, it’s not going to work. There can’t be any secrets between us.”

  Her heart thudded in her chest. “You know the women aren’t involved in club business.”

  His blue eyes narrowed on her. “Bullshit. You know more than you let on.”

  “That’s why I said you needed to find someone who would mesh with your lifestyle and career, Axel. There’s no fucking way I’m telling a cop—even if it’s you—anything about the club that they don’t want you to know.”

  “Bella...”

  “No, it’s unfair that you would ever even ask me that. I have my loyalties.”

  He threw up his hands. “And there we go. You’re loyal to the club but would lie to me. That’s just great.”

  She sat up, dragging the sheet more securely around her. “You’re assuming I lie to you or will in the future. I don’t know dick about D’s getting shot.”

  “Nothing about Squirrel and Black Jack’s disappearance?”

  She hesitated, then studied a loose thread in the sheet. “Whatever happened, they had it coming to them.”

  “Fuck, Bella. That’s the shit I can’t get involved in. You shouldn’t get involved in. That could make you an accessory after the fact. Oh fuck, it better be after the fact and not before. Fuck, Bella.” He buried his head into his hands.

  “Axel,” she murmured, touching his arm.

  He dropped his hands and studied her for a moment. “No, this is not good. You need to promise me... You need to tell me when illegal shit happens, and you need to keep your hands clean. I can’t be a part of that, Bella. I can’t lose my career. It’s against everything I stand for. Do you understand that?”

  She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Her mind spun. “I can’t do that. I’m not going to turn in anyone from the club. Ever. Especially Diesel and Hawk. My brother. Zak. Whoever. It’s never going to happen.”

  Axel closed his eyes and groaned. “Then we’re done here.” His deep voice sounded tight.

  Her heart skipped a beat then began to thump furiously. “Done?” She threw off the sheet and climbed out of his bed, searching for her clothes. She snagged her panties and yanked them on. “I never wanted this to start. You pushed it. You didn’t listen, Axel. You!” She put on her bra and slipped her shirt over her head, pulling her long hair out of the neckline.

  She glared at him. He sat in bed, staring at her, his face pale but unreadable.

  “I always knew this would be temporary. I knew it would never work.” She grabbed her jeans, hopping up and down as she tugged them on. “You can’t make me choose, Axel. I won’t do it. So, if you can’t accept me for who I am, which is DAMC, then fuck you.”

  “Bella...”

  “No. I’ve always been DAMC and always will be.”

  “Even after Rebel—”

  All the breath left her lungs and she jerked up a hand. “Don’t even go there. Don’t you dare use him against me. Don’t you use my mistakes against me.”

  She yanked on her socks and boots, zipping them up. As she straightened, she tossed her head.

  Pulling the covers aside, he moved to get out of bed, but she screamed, “Don’t you dare get out of that bed until I’m gone.” If he came over to her, if he touched her in any way, she was going to break. And she needed to stay strong. At least until she was out of his apartment. She planted her hands on her hips. “Why did you do this to me, Ax? Why?”

  “I didn’t do anything to you,” he said softly, his eyes searching her face.

  She swallowed and tried to keep her expression as neutral as possible. She couldn’t show him how hurt she was. “Yes, you did. You convinced me to let you in and I mistakenly did. Another bad decision.” She bounced her fist on her forehead, then let a “Fuck!” burst out of her.

  “Don’t compare me to him.” His words were harsh and low as he got out of bed.

  She lifted a hand to stop him from approaching. “Don’t come near me. Not now, not ever again. Stay the fuck away from me.” With that, she turned on her heel and left his bedroom, jerking the door closed.

  She grabbed her leather jacket on the way out then slammed his front door behind her so hard the wall rattled.

  She stomped down to her car just like he stomped on her heart.

  It wasn’t until she was in her car and halfway home that she allowed the first tear to fall.

  Chapter Ten

  “How’s the Toys for Tots collection going?” Sophie asked, pulling money from the register to make a deposit.

  Bella peered over her shoulder as Sophie counted the cash. “Damn. Tis the season! I’m glad we hired those two baker helpers. Without them we wouldn’t be able to keep up.”

  “I know. It’s nice to be operating in the black. If it wasn’t for you buying in and becoming my partner, I’m not sure if the shop would’ve survived this year.”

  “Bullshit, we make awesome cakes and cupcakes. Word of mouth is our best advertising.”

  “And our cheapest. So... Toys for Tots?” Sophie asked again.

  “Fine. I’m going to make a round tomorrow afternoon and will take the stuff out to D’s warehouse. Thankfully, it seems as though everyone in Shadow Valley stepped up.”

  Sophie tucked the wad of cash into a blue bank bag and zipped it shut. “How’s the PD doing with theirs?”


  Bella ignored her question. She hadn’t told Sophie what happened between her and Axel over a week ago. She hadn’t told anyone. It was still too raw, and she wasn’t done kicking herself for letting the man get to her. “Good thing the Knights stash wasn’t stolen.”

  “Maybe next year it’s best not to have one location for storing them all,” Sophie suggested.

  “Agreed.”

  “Have you convinced Axel to come to the party?”

  Bella moved down the counter to avoid Sophie’s prying eyes. “No, we haven’t discussed it yet.”

  “Better soon.”

  “Yeah,” she murmured.

  “I still can’t believe Zak agreed to it. That’s good though. I’m glad. It gives me some hope.”

  Bella didn’t want to dash Sophie’s hope. They’d find out soon enough when he didn’t show up at the party, which was only a week and a half away.

  “Oh!” Sophie yelled out, grabbing her stomach.

  Bella felt the blood rush from her face and her stomach turn. “What? Are you okay?”

  “Oh my God!”

  Bella rushed up to Sophie. “What? What’s wrong?”

  Sophie was leaning back into the counter, the fingers of both her hands stretched along her lower belly. Suddenly Sophie’s hand snaked out and grabbed her wrist, pressing Bella’s hand flat to her belly before Bella could stop her.

  “Feel that?”

  No, she couldn’t. She couldn’t feel the baby. She desperately wanted to feel the baby, know she was okay. But she couldn’t feel anything.

  Bella’s heart thumped heavily in her chest. And then she felt it. Movement of the life within Sophie’s womb. She tried to pry her hand away gently, but Sophie wouldn’t let go.

  Sophie’s lips were moving quickly, her eyes wide and holding excitement. She was saying something, but Bella had no idea what. As if in a trance, she stared at her hand trapped on Sophie’s baby bump. But she was no longer in her own body, it was like she floated above it, looking down at the two of them.

  Then the baby moved again under her palm and she squeezed her eyes shut, her head spinning.

  She couldn’t see anything either. Everything was black. Everything throbbed. Her face, her arms, her legs, her belly.

  Then her stomach churned and a sharp pain shot through her. Not the dull ache, not the sting. No, this was intense like someone was trying to rip out her guts. Someone was trying to steal the life that was inside her.

  The one she had fought so hard to protect, but failed.

  She failed.

  She failed.

  But so did he. He wanted to kill her. But from what she could tell she was still alive, still breathing, still bleeding. Her baby, too.

  The baby just had to stay inside her belly where it was safe. It was the only way to keep her safe.

  She couldn’t let him win.

  Because if she died... If her baby didn’t survive...

  He won.

  The darkness crept in and surrounded her as she fell to her knees at Sophie’s feet.

  A scream cut through her brain like a hatchet.

  Was it her? It had to be. She was bleeding, and the pain was unbearable. She couldn’t move, her back was shoved into the corner of the cabinets, her hands shaking as she held onto her own belly. The movement beneath her fingers wasn’t joyous. No, it was frightening. She glanced up, her mouth agape as she stared up at Rebel.

  His face was a mask of rage, his eyes hard, his hands covered in blood as he held the long, thin kitchen knife. He was screaming something at her.

  Streaks of blood crisscrossed his leather cut and down his jeans. Was that his? Or hers? She looked down at herself, her white top now blood red as the soaked fabric clung to the small rise of her belly.

  “Why?” she tried to ask him. But he didn’t respond. Maybe he didn’t hear her.

  Why? Why would he do this? Only a monster would try to kill his wife and child. She did nothing wrong. She didn’t deserve this. This had to be a bad dream. A nightmare.

  She just needed to wake herself up.

  Because no one in their right mind would do something so horrific. Not to their own family.

  She screamed and then clenched her teeth hard when the cramps twisted her insides.

  No... No. No!

  Wincing in pain, she slowly peeled the bottom of her blood soaked top up and saw three of the deep stab wounds along her abdomen. The ones he placed with a purpose once she was knocked to the floor. She closed her eyes and tried to take a breath, her mind racing. She needed to get help. Someone needed to save her baby.

  But she couldn’t move. Her muscles wouldn’t cooperate; she was losing her strength by the second. Opening her eyes, she saw he was gone. She was finally alone.

  But she was unable to help herself. She couldn’t scream for help, either. She couldn’t suck in enough of a breath to do so. The dizziness began to set in, spots crossing her vision, her body trembled, the sting of the wounds unbearable. The cramping in her gut telling.

  Her eyelids felt as heavy as concrete blocks, but she forced them to remain open as she tried to look around, but her head refused to turn, her body refused to cooperate. Then she spotted it. Her cell phone in the puddle of blood she sat in. With a great effort, she forced her hand to drop and for what seemed like hours, she crept her fingers closer until the tips brushed the blood slickened phone. With one finger she tried to drag it closer. With excruciating slowness, she got it close enough to hit the power button on the side and tap 911 on the screen. She watched the call connect as it laid on the floor beside her.

  When she heard, “Nine-one-one. What’s your emergency?” she again tried to scream for help, but the word just gurgled from her throat.

  Someone help me. Someone help my baby. Someone...

  “Hello? ... Do you need assistance? ... Hello?”

  As if from a deep well she heard, “We have your location and police are on the way.”

  No. She didn’t need police. She needed an ambulance. Why didn’t they know that? Why couldn’t she tell them?

  The cops could do nothing. They couldn’t help her, help her unborn child.

  Please. Please. Please. Hurry up. I’m dying. We’re dying.

  Then she heard nothing. Only darkness and an eerie quiet remained.

  Axel held Bella’s limp body against his as they laid on her narrow bed. He debated whether to take her to the hospital or just wait out whatever was happening. Which he had no fucking clue what that was. Fear clawed at his gut to see her in this semi-comatose state.

  Her eyes were open, but she stared blankly. She couldn’t focus on him or anything around her. And he didn’t think she could feel his presence, either. Even so, he kept talking to her because he hoped that would bring her back from wherever she had disappeared to.

  When Sophie had called him in a panic, he’d driven code three, lights and siren, directly to the bakery. He found Bella curled up on the floor, unresponsive but breathing, and her pulse attempting to beat out of her neck.

  Sophie was freaking out, holding onto her stomach, but he didn’t have time to worry about her. He just made sure she had called Z to come home to the bakery to be with her.

  Then he’d scooped Bella up, placed her gently into the back of his cruiser, took her home and placed her into bed. At first, he had covered her completely with her bedding since she was shivering uncontrollably. But soon she had become flush and overheated so he pulled them all back off.

  A feeling of helplessness washed over him.

  He was worried that her mind had broken, that she had completely snapped.

  All of it was due to feeling his niece or nephew moving in Sophie’s belly. Something so simple sparked a reaction like he’d never seen before and never wanted to see again.

  Sophie had been scared to death of Bella’s reaction. Not that he blamed her. He was, too.

  He held her tightly against him and stroked her hair, whispering her name, pressing kisses to her temple an
d her forehead. “Bella. Please. Don’t make me take you to the hospital. Please.”

  If he did, she would be committed and could be held involuntarily for up to five days. He couldn’t do that to her. Not if he didn’t have to.

  “You need to break free of this.” He brushed a knuckle across her pale cheek. “You need to talk to me.”

  He braced when he heard her front door open and a rush of heavy boots down the short hallway. Then he was there, filling up the doorway with a look Axel had never seen on the man’s face before.

  Although the man could normally hide any emotions, Diesel couldn’t hide his worry when his eyes raked over Bella’s listless body. “What the fuck happened?”

  “Sophie made her touch her stomach.”

  His brows shot up his forehead and D took a step into the room. “So?”

  “She felt the baby move.”

  Diesel’s gaze slid from Axel to Bella and then back again. “So?”

  “It made her... snap.”

  “Fuckin’ cop, get to the point. Why would that make her snap?”

  Fuck. “She never told you.”

  Diesel took another step closer, looking like he wanted to tear Axel’s windpipe from his throat. “Told me what?”

  Axel shut his eyes and shook his head. He shouldn’t tell him. It wasn’t his place to tell D her secret.

  Suddenly, the massive man was next to the bed, towering over him and Bella. “Tell me what?” When Axel didn’t answer, D’s nostrils flared, and his eyes got hard. “Don’t make me pound it the fuck out of you.”

  “What she lost,” he answered simply.

  D’s dark eyes pinned him to the bed for a moment before moving to Bella. Even in her state, her arms embraced her lower stomach. His eyes landed there and he said nothing.

  Axel knew D wasn’t stupid. He might appear to be a dumb biker, simply grunting and fighting his way through life, but he wasn’t. He was smart... He ran a business with a crew of former special ops who were as equally cunning. And Axel knew the second that Diesel put two and two together.

  His face got dark, his brows went low, his mouth got tight. “Rebel,” he grunted. He lifted his gaze back to Axel. “She told you.”