Down & Dirty_Axel

by Jeanne St. James

  It wasn’t a question, but more of an accusation. He was clearly not happy that Axel knew something he didn’t, especially since it was D’s job as club enforcer to protect everyone in the club, to be in the know. He took his responsibilities seriously. And, worse, Bella and D were close.

  “Not by choice.” Axel took a deep breath. “I was the first on scene that day, remember?”

  D studied him. “You knew then.”

  “Yes.”

  “You told no one.”

  “I did what she asked.”

  D gave him a sharp nod. Was that a nod of respect? Impossible.

  “I’m here. You can go.”

  Axel was not going anywhere. D would have to physically remove him. “Diesel, she needs to snap out of this.”

  “She will,” he answered with confidence.

  Axel tilted his head to stare up at the larger man. “How do you know?”

  “Done it before. Didn’t realize...” He stopped, a muscle in his jaw ticking. “Didn’t know it all.”

  Axel glanced down into Bella’s face. She still stared off at nothing. Her eyes unfocused. He’d hoped that D’s voice would pull her back to the surface. But it didn’t. “She’s not going to be happy I told you.”

  “Didn’t tell me. Guessed.”

  “Right.” Semantics. No matter what, Bella would be pissed about it. If she wanted D to know she would have told him years ago.

  “Get gone now,” D said, but his words lacked any force behind them.

  Axel steeled himself, tightening his arm around Bella’s shoulders. “I’m not leaving.”

  “Not your decision,” D said, planting those meaty hands of his on his hips.

  Axel had no plans on getting up close and personal with one of those fists again any time soon. His face still bore the discoloration from the last time. But, no matter what, he wasn’t leaving.

  “Not going, D. If you feel the need to hit me again, then I’ll take it like a man, but I’m not leaving her.”

  D’s nostrils flared. “In uniform it’ll be ag assault.”

  Axel glanced down his own body. His uniform shirt was unbuttoned from the collar to mid-chest, his undershirt was peeking out, his duty belt was in the corner of the room, and his boots by the bed. He hadn’t bothered to undress Bella, either. He’d only removed her shoes before settling in next to her, just in case he did end up taking her to the hospital to commit her.

  “She on meds?”

  D shook his head. “Right after. Then stopped.”

  “She needs—”

  “Fuck she does,” he barked, cutting Axel off.

  Axel frowned. “How is she going to deal with the baby once it’s born? She and Sophie work together. And this baby isn’t going to be the only one in the future for the club.”

  “She’ll deal.”

  “She’s got PTSD, Diesel.”

  Something flashed behind his eyes, but, again, he hid it quickly. “Yep.”

  Yep? That’s what his answer was? An emotionless “yep?”

  “Got us. All she needs.”

  Axel’s fists clenched. He wanted to argue with D. He was starting to rethink how smart the man was. “This isn’t a ‘it takes a village’ type of situation. It’s serious.”

  “Know it. Now, you goin’?”

  “No.”

  D practically bared his teeth. “Fuckin’ pig.”

  Axel sighed. There was the Diesel he knew and loved. He shook his head. “Never changes, does it?”

  “Nope. Not when you wear a fuckin’ badge. Not when you an’ your brothers are ready an’ willin’ to take us down.”

  “Stay on the right side of the law and there’d be no risk of that.”

  D grunted. “Time for you to get gone, cop. Got it from here.”

  “I don’t think you do,” Axel said low, with warning.

  D’s head jerked back, then he leaned forward enough to make Axel a little worried. Just a little.

  Axel’s heart thumped in his chest. “I’m not going anywhere, so fuck off.”

  D’s eyes widened for a split second but he hid his reaction quickly. “Gun’s in the corner. Wanna get it so this is a fair fight?”

  Was this man serious? Bella was in the middle of a mental breakdown and he wanted to get into it over who was going to take care of her? “Don’t need it because you’re going to get gone and let me handle this.”

  D cocked a brow at him. “I am.” Not a question but a challenge. One Axel was ready to meet.

  Axel cocked one back. “Yeah, you are.”

  D’s eyes flicked to Bella then back to him. When he leaned forward more, Axel braced himself for another ass kicking. But the bigger man just reached out and brushed his fingers along Bella’s pale cheek, then he straightened and pinned Axel with his gaze. “Don’t fuck it up.”

  D spun on his heel and strode out of the bedroom.

  Axel finally breathed when he heard the front door close.

  Bella’s eyes popped open, and she stared up at the ceiling in the dark. She’d done it again. Disappeared. Lost herself. Lost time.

  All because of something she should’ve been able to handle, but couldn’t. Because she was weak. Unable to control her emotions, her mind.

  She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment to settle her thoughts.

  She knew she was in her bedroom but she had no idea how she got there.

  Diesel most likely. Throughout the years when she broke down or got lost, he was usually the one to find her and pull her back out from the black abyss. From those dark memories.

  But D would never climb into bed with her. If anything he’d hold her in his lap on the couch or the floor until she “woke up.”

  And whoever was pressed against her in her narrow bed was not nearly as bulky as him, anyway.

  She breathed deeply and caught his scent, listened to his steady breathing, his fingers buried in her hair, one arm over her waist.

  She was fully dressed still, and it seemed so was he.

  Someone had called Axel instead of D.

  Sophie.

  Bella didn’t blame her, the woman still thought that she was seeing Axel. She didn’t realize that they’d decided to let things go finally.

  Sophie wouldn’t have known.

  Her head pounded with a headache and she needed an aspirin or three to reduce the pounding pain at her temples. Her mouth was as dry as cotton and she was way too warm from being held so closely to Axel’s body. She shifted to break his hold.

  “Stay.” His gruff voice asked, “What do you need?”

  You to leave my bed. For you to stop breaking my heart. “I’m fine. You can go now.”

  The silence between them grew by the second.

  Finally, he said softly, “You scared me.”

  Bella squeezed her eyes shut, and she sucked in a shaky breath. “Sorry. It happens sometimes.”

  “What are you doing about it?”

  She didn’t want to discuss it. She didn’t want to reveal her weakness any more than she already had. “I’m fine.”

  “You’re not fine.”

  “Nothing for you to worry about.”

  “Bullshit, Bella.

  She pushed out of his arms and sat up, dropping her legs over the side of the bed and holding her throbbing head in both of her hands.

  “What do you need?” he asked again more firmly, sitting up.

  “I can get it.”

  “Bella,” he said, his voice holding a tinge of frustration and anger.

  She sighed. “Water. Aspirin.”

  She heard him get off the other side of the bed. “I’ll get it. Stay here.”

  He switched on the bedside lamp and the room lit up with a muted glow from the bandana draped over the shade.

  She peered over her shoulder at him. He was in uniform, though it was not neatly pressed like normal. The fabric of his shirt was badly wrinkled, half of the buttons undone, the tails untucked from the waistband. He was bootless and
his duty belt was missing.

  She watched him move stiffly from the room. Her bed was way too small for the two of them. She knew it that first night he stayed over. But there was no reason to upgrade her bed. He had said he was done with her. That he didn’t want to deal with her connections to the club if they were in any way questionable.

  She didn’t blame him. So he shouldn’t be here.

  What the fuck happened?

  He was back in minutes, a bottle of water and generic aspirin in hand. He handed them to her after opening both.

  She took a gulp of the cold water, then downed three pills before placing both bottles on the nightstand.

  He sat down on the bed next to her, close but not touching. “Want to talk about it?”

  “No.”

  He said nothing for a minute.

  “Next time, get Diesel,” she said finally.

  “He was here.”

  She glanced at him in surprise.

  “He threatened to beat my ass if I didn’t leave.”

  “And you stayed?”

  “I wasn’t leaving.”

  “Why, Axel?”

  “Because... I couldn’t.”

  “You should have. You should’ve left and let D handle it.”

  “I don’t think he realizes the magnitude—”

  “And you do?” she cut him off. “He does. He knows.”

  “He didn’t know everything.”

  Her stomach churned. “And now he does? You told him?” she asked, her heart in her throat.

  “He figured it out.”

  “He couldn’t have,” she whispered, her mind spinning.

  “He’s not stupid. He put two and two together.”

  It was bad enough that Axel knew, but now Diesel...

  Axel continued, “You should’ve told him a long time ago.”

  “Not your business.”

  He stared at the floor and nodded. “You’re right.”

  Bella didn’t expect that answer from him and she was surprised at the ache it caused in her chest. She expected more of a fight from him. “You should go.”

  His chest rose and fell as he inhaled deeply, then he pushed to his feet and avoided her gaze as he moved around to the other side of the bed. “I have to go back to the station, anyway. I’ve had the cruiser all night.”

  Bella listened as he yanked his boots on, laced them up, then grabbed his duty belt and patrol jacket. She didn’t watch him this time as he headed out of her bedroom door and down the hallway.

  She closed her eyes as the front door clicked softly.

  Axel was gone.

  Chapter Eleven

  “You shouldn’t have left,” Bella told Diesel’s broad back as he helped carry a box of toys into the warehouse. She might as well be talking to a brick wall.

  At least she got a grunt as an answer.

  “You should’ve made him leave, D.” She rushed past him to open the back door for him. “Are you listening to me?”

  “Tryin’ not to,” he barked and pushed past her and down the hallway. “But hard to ignore you when you’re screechin’.”

  “I’m not screeching.”

  “Sounds like it.”

  “Whatever.” She followed quickly on his heels as his long strides ate up the floor space. The corridor spilled into a big wide-open area that held a few vehicles, some equipment, and a whole bunch of padlocked containers.

  She wasn’t even going to bother to ask what was in them. She would be wasting her breath.

  He made a sharp right turn to a storage room they were using to house the donated toys until they could get them to Toys for Tots.

  She rushed past him again to grab the door. At least being in D’s warehouse, she knew the donations were safe. There was no way the Warriors would break into this location to steal any more. Especially with D’s crew coming in and out at all hours of the day and night.

  And if the Warriors had any brain cells, they’d want to stay off his crew’s radar. Especially since they had a hard-on for the Warriors ever since Kiki and Jazz were kidnapped.

  She followed him into the room and as soon as he put the large box down, she began to sort the toys.

  “Gonna be in my office. Find me. Gotta talk.”

  She straightened to ask why, but when she turned, he was gone. With a sigh, she went back to pulling each toy out of the box and organizing them by sex and age.

  The community had really pulled through, especially when both the DAMC and the PD put the word out about the theft.

  “Gotta find those fuckers before the PD does.”

  A deep voice behind her, one she didn’t recognize, startled her. She straightened and turned toward the door. A tall man, maybe six-foot-three, leaned against the doorjamb. He had super short dark hair, military-type cut like Slade and Axel, had piercing grey eyes and the man would have been extremely good-looking if he didn’t have a scar that ran diagonally across his face. With his arms crossed over his chest, it emphasized how big and built he was. He didn’t look like a man to mess with.

  He had to be Mercy. Though she never met him, she’d heard about him from Jewel, who was now helping D run the security business. She also recognized him from the scar.

  Bella nodded. “Hope so.”

  “Gonna teach those fuckers a lesson they won’t forget.”

  Bella had to admit a chill ran up her spine when he talked. He was scary as shit and she wouldn’t want to be on his bad side.

  Mercy pushed away from the door and took two steps into the room. Bella’s pulse began to pound in her neck. Looking at him was like looking at someone with no soul.

  Empty. Cold. Merciless.

  “Heard you were stabbed,” he said softly, his eyes running down her body. “The fucker dead?”

  She wondered if D told him. Though she couldn’t imagine why. If Jewel was running her mouth... “Yeah.”

  He gave her a sharp nod, then tilted his head as he stared at her. “Good. Thought I may have to put him on my to-do list.”

  That was probably a list you never wanted your name to be on. “Nope. He was taken out in prison.”

  “Where at?”

  “SCI Greene.”

  His eyes crinkled so slightly at the corners Bella almost missed it. “No.” He lifted his chin up and down her body. “Where at?”

  “Is this a ‘if you show me yours, I’ll show you mine’ thing?”

  Finally, one corner of his mouth curved up. The side that was marred slightly from his scar. “Wouldn’t say no if you’re agreeable.”

  He might be a scary fucker, but his rough voice sent a shiver through her. If the man turned on the charm, he might be irresistible. Even with that scar and those intense eyes.

  But he didn’t and he wasn’t, so she shook her head. “No thanks.”

  “You’re a survivor.” He tapped his temple with his finger. “Like that.”

  “Not looking for a date,” she said, hoping he’d get the picture.

  “Don’t date,” he answered, clearly not offended at her disinterest.

  Of course he probably didn’t date. He didn’t seem the type to want any attachments. Until Jewel, Diesel was like that for the longest time. Fucking women in the bathroom at church. He didn’t even want them up in his room so they wouldn’t get any ideas.

  Mercy probably did something similar, just pulled his pants down far enough to get his dick out, get it wet and tuck it back in once he was done draining his nuts. No commitments. No noose around his neck. No ball and chain around his ankle.

  She nodded. “Good. Then no further discussion’s needed.”

  He smirked. “You’re D’s family, so if you ever need anything...”

  He let the rest of that fade off. Bella had no idea if he meant sexually or protection wise. Either way, she hoped she never needed his services.

  “Done here? I can take you to D’s office.”

  She glanced down at the remaining toys. She had more to sort, but she could finish that th
e next time she did a drop-off. “Sure.”

  She followed him out of the room and closed the door behind her. As they traveled down the narrow corridor she realized just how big Mercy was. He might be an inch shorter, a few pounds lighter, and not as broad as D, but the man was still someone to take seriously.

  He halted abruptly and leaned into an open doorway. “Boss.”

  Bella heard D’s familiar grunt. Mercy stepped back and lifted a hand, indicating she should go in.

  As she stepped into Diesel’s office, Mercy closed the door behind her at D’s chin lift.

  Why did she feel like a student going to the principal’s office?

  She looked at her cousin sitting behind his desk and snorted. “Hard to picture you in an office.”

  Even so, his desk was a mess. D had never been a neat person. She remembered how he used to keep his room at church; like a complete pigsty before moving in with Jewel. And now his ol’ lady was always bitching about how he just threw his clothes and shit everywhere around her apartment, including the floor.

  “Try to get Jewelee to do all this shit now,” he grumbled.

  “How’s she doing with it?”

  He grunted.

  “Keeping you organized?”

  D grunted again and leaned back in his office chair.

  “You said we have to talk,” she started. “What about? If it’s about the toys—”

  “That pig.”

  Her stomach dropped. “I already said you should’ve made him leave.”

  “Reason I didn’t.”

  Bella waited.

  And waited.

  She lifted her hands impatiently. “Want to explain?”

  “The man loves you.”

  Bella reached out to grab the arm of the chair that sat in front of his desk. She plopped her ass in it before her knees gave out.

  First of all, she couldn’t believe D called Axel “the man” and not “the pig” or “cop.” Second, it floored her that D would even care how Axel felt about her.

  “I know,” she whispered.

  “Wanted to pound the fuck outta ‘im when I saw ‘im in your bed again. Fucker wouldn’t leave your side, though. Woulda let me do it just to stay with you.”

  “I know what it looked like, D, but he doesn’t want to be with me.”

  D’s brows rose sharply. “Why?”