Pulled

by A. F. Crowell

  “All right, let’s get this show on the road,” I said wanting to stop labor from progressing. “Thank you Dr. Rogers.”

  “My pleasure Leila. The nurse will be in shortly to start the medicine and give you the IM injection. I will also write an order for Ambien, since that is safe for you to take, just in case you have trouble sleeping and Stadol, the drug of choice for labor pain, in case it gets too bad.” She patted my leg. “Try to get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  Brody stopped her before she could leave the room. “It won’t be a problem for me to stay here tonight, right?”

  I started to protest, but Dr. Rogers answered too quickly. “Not a problem, you’re more than welcome to stay Dad. The recliner pulls out to a small, yet uncomfortable bed.” She chuckled. “Have a good night.”

  “Brody, you don’t need to stay. I’ll be fine. Nothing is going to happen tonight.” He wheeled the stool over to me and sat down.

  “Lei, I’m not leaving you here alone. I’ll just sleep on the recliner. It’ll be fine.” He took my hand in his. “I know I’m not the guy you want here, but—” I cocked my head and start to speak. “I know what you’re gonna say. And you’re right. I totally screwed this up from the moment you gave me this precious gift. I will never, ever, be able to tell you how much I regret what I did and what I put you through.” He looked down at my hand in his.

  “I’m incredibly grateful you’ve given me a second chance to be a father to this little girl.” He gently slid his hand across my abdomen. “And for what it’s worth, I’m genuinely sorry Jaxon isn’t here for you. I hate to see you hurting. I hate more that I hurt you the way I did. I hope that I’ll continue to have the chance to prove to you that you can trust me.” He reached up with his thumb and swiped the tears from under my eyes.

  “I do appreciate everything you’re trying to do Brody. The little things that are really thoughtful show me that you care and it tells me you’re trying.” I blew a deep breath out. “And please don’t take this the wrong way. As much as I love the attentive and thoughtful gestures, I need you to understand that doesn’t mean we are going to get back together. And I’m so not saying that to hurt you. I swear. I just want us to be on the same page.” Tears streamed down my face. It really hurt to say those things to him, especially since I had once thought I was completely and totally head over feet in love with this man.

  “Please don’t cry, Lei. I understand that’s what you want. I promise not to push anything, other than being a supportive father.” He smiled softly and nodded slightly. “Same page.”

  “Ahhhhhh.” I leaned my head back and focused on a spot on the ceiling. I squinted my eyes as I winced in pain and concentrated on my breathing. Slow, deep inhale in through the nose. Slowly blow out through my mouth.

  He grabbed my hand. “Squeeze my hand if you need to.”

  “I’m fine,” I managed to get out.

  “Babe, you’re in labor. You don’t have to pretend to be tough for me. I imagine it’s painful.” He stood and lightly ran his hands up and down my upper arm. “You don’t have to be strong all of the time. Let me take care of you, for a little while.” He gave my hand a slight squeeze and continued to rub my arm.

  “Whew, it’s easing off now.”

  “Did you take Lamaze classes?” He sat back down, but didn’t release my hand.

  “No. Jax and I were supposed to start them next week.” I looked down, slipped my hand away and turned to my side.

  “Well, if he doesn’t join you, I’d like the opportunity to go with you.” I looked up at him. “You know, so I could at least be of some help during delivery. Or maybe just find out how to survive without pissing you off or losing my balls.”

  I laughed. I forgot how Brody could make me laugh.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  ~Leila~

  A little while later the nurse came in and gave me the IM injection and started the magnesium sulfate treatment. She prepared us for the side effects. I prayed it wouldn’t be a problem.

  Apparently, I wasn’t loud enough or God wasn’t listening when I was talking, because I continued to have decent contractions every twenty-five minutes and to top it off I was puking my guts up.

  As soon as I came down from a contraction, Brody had the wet washcloth and a trash can ready. It had been an hour since I started getting sick and he hung in like a champ. He didn’t once hesitate to pull my hair back, get me a drink, wipe vomit off my face or just rub my back and tell me it would be okay.

  Barb strolled into the room about ten seconds into the current contraction. “Holy shit Lei. They got worse?” She looked to Brody, since I was somewhat engaged at the moment.

  “Yeah, started about—”

  “Ooooh. This one’s actually pretty painful.” I tried to breathe through it, but damn if that shit didn’t hurt.

  “Grab my hand babe.” He reached for my hand and rubbed my back. “Try to breathe.”

  “I am breathing,” I bit back.

  Barb jumped in. “No, you’re holding your breath.” I glared at her. “Don’t look at me like that, girlfriend.”

  I continued to labor on my side and focused on a spot on the handrail. As it eased off I started to feel nauseous again. Without having to say a word or even move, Brody was in front of me with the pink basin, helping me sit up. I started dry heaving again as Brody rubbed the heel of his palm up and down my spine.

  After it passed, Brody told Barb what had been happening.

  “Did they give you Zofran?” she asked, standing at the foot of the bed.

  “No,” I grumbled as the wave of nausea passed.

  “I’m going to get Zofran.” She marched out of the room.

  I looked to Brody with pleading eyes. He knew what I was thinking, yet again. “Nope, I’m not stopping her. She’s right, you need something to help ease the dry heaves.”

  “I’ll be—” I was cut off by another violent retch. “Ugh. This fuckin’ sucks.”

  “I’m sorry babe, I wish I could do something to make it stop.”

  “It’s okay. I appreciate you just bein’ here.” Even though Jax isn’t and that’s who I really want right now.

  Barb strolled in with my nurse, Lucinda, five minutes later. “I come bearing gifts,” Barb squealed.

  “Okay. Maybe I’ll be able to get some sleep if I can’t feel the contractions.” I was hopeful but realistic. If the medicine didn’t work then I could be in for a long night.

  “Okay,” Lucinda said after she’d gone through the information drill, “I’m gonna push Zofran first, then I will flush and then push the Stadol.” She swabbed the port on the IV line with an alcohol pad, then administered the medicines. “You know the Stadol will make you drowsy and you’ll need help to get to the bathroom.” She looked at Barb and Brody. “Don’t let her go in alone.”

  They both nodded in agreement.

  Two minutes after Lucinda left, I said, “Whoa,” then leaned back in the bed and giggled. “This shit’s heavy duty.”

  “Oh, this is gonna be fun.” Barb smiled deviously and looked over the bed to Brody. “Haven’t seen her on narcotics yet, have ya?”

  “Uh, no…Why?” he questioned.

  “She’s a fuckin’ hoot on drugs. Her brain to mouth filter is totally nonexistent. It’s g-r-e-a-t,” she whisper-yelled.

  “Yo beotch, you talkin’ ’bout me?” I pointed at Barb, my words slurring.

  “Sure am. Just tellin’ Brody how funny you are when you get drugs.” She laughed. “Wanna watch TV?”

  “Nope.” I popped my “p.” “Did ya hear from my asshat of a fiancé yet?”

  “Nah, not yet, but I’m sure he’ll call soon.”

  “I’ve left him four messages, Barb. I think when he said he was”—I threw my hands up and pulled out the air quotes—“out he actually meant he was out and not comin’ back.”

  “I think you need to just wait for him to call you. Don’t jump to any conclusions,” she warned.

&
nbsp; “Um, I’m gonna run out for just a little. I need to make some phone calls.” Brody scrolled through his phone. “I just want to make sure Sara clears my schedule and knows what’s going on.”

  “Fine,” I muttered. As soon as I thought he was out of the room, I looked at Barb. “Great, now I’ve run him off too. Ugh, what is wrong with me Barb?”

  She pushed me over on the bed and crawled in next to me. “There is—”

  Brody barged back in the room. “First of all, you didn’t run me off. I thought you’d like to talk to Barb alone. Secondly, there is absolutely nothing wrong with you.” His eyes were dark as he strode right up to me. “You’re not getting this…I’m not leaving you. Made that mistake once. Not doing it again, regardless of what you may think. Now, I have to call Sara. I’ll be back in ten minutes. Do you want anything from the cafeteria?”

  “Uh, no?” It came out sounding more like a question than an answer. His little rant caught me completely off guard.

  “Okay, I’ll see you soon then.”

  Barb elbowed me. “Fuck girl. I love Jaxon and all, but that was seriously hot.”

  “Dear God, help me. What in the Sam Hill is going on with the men in my life?” I groaned loudly. “First, Brody bails when I find out I’m going to have a baby. And now Jaxon is bailing as I’m having the baby. FML.”

  “Simmer down. You don’t know what’s goin’ on with Jax.”

  “Fuck.” I huffed. “I gotta pee.” I felt like I drank a fifth of Captain Morgan. “Come on bitch, help me get my fat ass outta this bed.”

  Barb laughed. “Well, since you asked so nicely…come on lil’ momma.” She pulled my arm over her shoulder. “Go slow, that Stadol will kick ya ass like Bruce Lee.”

  Sure as shit, it did too. As I stood up the room began to sway back and forth like I was waltzing. “Damn, I feel like that time we went to the Bahamas and drank Mai Tais poolside for like six straight hours.”

  “Oh, I remember that. Good day.” She giggled.

  Barb slid the IV pole into the bathroom after she disconnected the monitor wires for the EFM. Once I was on my feet and got my bearings I was fine. Okay, maybe fine was too strong a word. I was safe to walk alone. Barb leaned against the door while I used the toilet. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t been in the bathroom with me while I peed a hundred and twenty times before. Plus she was a nurse; nothing fazed her anymore.

  She helped me back to bed and we flipped through the channels. It was a little after 8:00 p.m. and I was surprised she didn’t get kicked out since visiting hours were almost over.

  “Whatcha wanna watch? NCIS is on.” We both loved that show.

  “Yeah, that’s fine. Can’t promise I’m gonna make it very long. That medicine put me on my ass.” I said with a giggle.

  “Cool.” She found the channel, then set the remote on the side of the bed. “Uh, Lei, where the hell did all these pillows come from?”

  “Huh? Oh. Brody called Jane and she brought them down. He remembered how much I loved them and he said he wanted me to be comfortable.” I shrugged.

  “Gotcha.” Her phone started buzzing and she pulled it up to her ear. “Hello? Oh hey Drew.” My heart dropped; I love my brother, but that wasn’t the name I wanted to hear. “Nah, she’s gonna have to stay tonight at least. I’d let her talk but she just got pain meds and is starting to nod off. I’ll call you back a little later and fill ya in…I will…’Kay, g’night.

  “Drew said to tell you to take it easy and sleep when you can. He’s gonna come over in the morning and he said he loves ya,” she said, relaying his message.

  I yawned and stretched. “Hey Barb”—my voice warbled—“can you look and see how long it’s been since my last contraction? I feel like I should’ve had one by now.” I looked over to the EFM.

  “It looks like the medicine is working. It’s been thirty-five minutes since the last one, which means you may have one soon.”

  “Oh, thank God.” My shoulders sagged in relief. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that.”

  Barb’s phone chirped. “That’s Cole.” She read the message, then looked up and I could tell I wasn’t going to like what I heard. “He talked to Jaxon and told him what was going on. Jax asked if Brody was here and Cole told him he was. Jax got pissed and started drinkin’ the second he got to the club. Cole doesn’t think Jax is gonna come up here.” Her hazel eyes settled on mine. “Oh Lei, honey, I’m so sorry.”

  I tried so hard not to cry. I bit my cheek until the metallic taste filled my mouth. It didn’t help. The tears rolled down my face. I didn’t make any noise, wipe my face or acknowledge the tears dripping from my nose and chin. Thank God for Stadol. It helped numb the emotional pain Jax just dealt by his intentional absence.

  As if the universe wasn’t cruel enough, in walked Brody. He looked gorgeous in his black Armani custom tailored suit, with the jacket slung over his shoulder. His second day stubble added to his sexy face, as if the devastatingly blue eyes weren’t enough. He ambled in while messing with his phone. He was fully in the room when he finally looked up.

  “Hey, I just sp—” His eyes trained on my tear-soaked face. “What happened?”

  I knew he was there and I heard him ask the question but I just stared at the end of the bed. Tears continued to spill and roll down my face onto my gown.

  “Cole just texted me, Jax knows she’s here but he’s not coming,” Barb explained as she climbed down from her cozy little spot next to me.

  “What. The. Fuck?”

  Barb’s eyes cut to me, then back to him. “Jax asked if you were here and Cole confirmed you were, so Jax isn’t coming. Said you were here so she didn’t need him.”

  Brody looked at me as he walked away from Barb and resumed his spot on the stool at the head of the bed. “Babe, look at me.” I just blinked at my feet. “Leila, look at me. Tell me right now and I will go. I promise. If you want him here, then I will leave. I love you enough to give you whatever it is you want right now. Even if that’s him.”

  That got my attention. I looked into his baby blue eyes and knew he meant every word. He would get up and walk out, against every desire he had, to give me what I wanted. He would put my needs and wants above his own.

  “Babe, I’m gonna go. Barb, can you please stay here with her tonight?” He looked from me to her standing across the bed from him.

  “Yeah,” she agreed quietly and nodded.

  As he stood to leave I reached out and grabbed his hand. “Don’t leave,” I murmured, “please.”

  “Leila, I’m the reason you’re miserable right now.” He sat back down and held my hand.

  “Well, yeah, you’re the one who got me pregnant.” I shrugged.

  “I’m being serious Lei. If I wasn’t here, then he’d be here.” He pulled his hand out mine and paced the room.

  “If you’re gonna play the ‘what if’ game, maybe you should start with if you wouldn’t have run out on me.” All of a sudden, I felt awake and clear. Brody stopped dead in his tracks. “Shit. Brody, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

  He dropped to the recliner and held his head in his hands.

  “You are here now, that’s what matters. You said you’d be here and you are. Which is more than I can say for Jaxon.” I dropped my head back to the pillow and closed my eyes. Clarity gone. My head was spinning and I felt awful for shit-shooting Brody after he’d been a trooper all day.

  “Please stay. With me. With us.” His eyes found mine as he lifted his head. “We need you he…he…here.” My whispered words turned into a loud groan as I was overtaken by a contraction. I gripped the handrail and took slow, deep breaths.

  Brody was on his feet and holding my hand. “You’re doing good babe, just keep breathing.”

  “You’re almost to the peak Lei…just a few more seconds and it will start coming down,” Barb said rubbing my arm.

  “I’m okay,” I gritted out through clenched teeth as I squeezed my eyes shut. “’S not that…bad.”
And I wasn’t lying, the pain wasn’t as bad as before. The Stadol definitely helped.

  “Comin’ down.” Barb gave my forearm a reassuring squeeze. “Hmm, that’s good. That one didn’t last as long.”

  “That’s good news babe, the medicine is working.” Brody’s whole body seemed to settle as he let a deep exhale go. “You should try to take a little nap,” he suggested as he stood and picked up his phone.

  “You’re not gonna leave, right?” I asked.

  “I just need to make a quick call and I will be right back. Promise,” he assured me as he advanced toward the door.

  Barb picked up her phone and purse. “Listen, I’m gonna go, but if you need anything, you call me. I want you to try to get some sleep. Let go of the stress for a little and let the medicine do its job. Right now, it’s about her, not him.”

  “All right,” I replied.

  “Love ya bitch.”

  “Back atcha hooker,” I called back.

  I grabbed the remote and turned on the end of NCIS as I tried to fall asleep. I started to wonder if Brody was going to come back. God knows if I was him, I would’ve run for the hills. I was such a bitch earlier. Here he was trying to be sweet and thoughtful, bringing me pillows and soft Egyptian cotton towels, and I threw in his face, yet again, that he walked out on me. Well, he did.

  I turned out all of the lights and looked over to the recliner. Sitting on the cushion was one of the fluffy pillows and a few blankets for Brody. That was my last thought before I fell asleep.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  ~Leila~

  Three more contractions woke me up between 11:00 p.m. and 5:00 a.m. They were getting further and further apart, just as the medicine intended. After the 5:00 a.m. contraction, I got up and used the bathroom. I was careful to turn the light on after I closed the door, as not to wake Brody. He was up with me for every contraction, except for the most recent. I knew he had to be exhausted.