From Our First: A Promise Me Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “I wasn’t aware we were meeting so early.”

  “You never did apologize for anything, did you?” my mother asked, sighing as she looked down at her watch.

  “There’s no need for me to apologize. But I’m glad we’re all here so we can get through these next steps quickly.”

  “You want to get this over with quickly?” my father asked. “Do you already know what’s about to be said?”

  I shook my head, taking the only empty seat in the room. It was a smaller, ornate chair that was set apart from the others, and I couldn’t help but feel a little disconnected. There was a small sofa in the corner, as well, but no one had taken that.

  I heard quick footsteps behind me, and I looked at the door. My eyes widened as Lacey walked through. Lacey was another of my cousins. She lived in Wyoming with her husband and three children. I liked her, though I didn’t see her often. Her parents, another aunt on my mother’s side, had disowned her long before my parents tried to do the same with me.

  “I was afraid I was going to be late. Traffic on I-25 was worse than usual.”

  She came forward as I stood up, and she kissed my cheek. “I’m so sorry. I know she was always the closest to you. I didn’t hear until…well, it doesn’t matter. I’m sorry.”

  Tears pricked my eyes, and it felt odd to have what I considered almost an ally in this. I had forgotten Lacey, not because she was cruel or not worth remembering. She wasn’t a part of my life. Hadn’t been when we were children either. Her parents had moved out to New York when we were kids, and she had only visited occasionally to see our grandparents. When she got pregnant during college and married the love of her life, they moved out to Wyoming to be with his family. They now owned a ranch, and I knew they were doing relatively well. She lived so close to me, yet I hadn’t seen her in ages.

  I needed to change that.

  “Let’s talk after this,” I whispered, aware that everyone was staring.

  “Yes, I’d like that.” Her eyes filled ever so slightly before she blinked the tears away, a small smile on her face that was real.

  “I see we’re all here,” a man with graying hair at his temples and a firm jaw said as he walked through another door behind the desk area. “Hello, I’m Mr. Ongard,” the man said, holding out his hand to Lacey and me. I shook it, grateful that he seemed to be a no-nonsense type of man, but he had kind eyes. I had learned long ago to read the kindness in someone’s eyes.

  “Now that we’re all settled, let’s begin the proceedings.”

  An intern came in behind the lawyer, holding a stack of papers and a tablet, presumably to take notes.

  “I will read the will as stated, and any questions can be asked after. Please keep your remarks until the end so we can get through this. I know this is a tough time for all of you, and it’s completely understandable if you need me to talk over things and elaborate on the points afterward. But once we get through the main items, we can get through it all. Again, I’m sorry for your loss.”

  “Thank you,” I said, not meaning to say the words aloud. My mother narrowed her eyes at me since no one else had spoken. But Lacey was angled behind me on the couch, and I could feel her presence, a warmth I hadn’t known I needed. I was glad that I hadn’t brought anyone with me, even though Nate’s face filled my mind at the thought because bringing anybody but myself would have been a shield the others would have seen as a weakness. The idea that I had to think those thoughts when it came to my family hurt, but I didn’t dwell on it.

  “Okay. Let’s begin.”

  He began reading the will, going over the initial instructions for the terms of my grandmother’s estate. With each word, it was as if he were pounding nails into the coffin—a word for each hammer strike. I would not break down, even though that’s all I wanted to do.

  “To my daughter, Constance West, I leave my emerald jewelry collection as listed below. May you find warmth in the coolness of the stones.”

  My mother squeezed my father’s hand, and I was glad that she got those pieces. She had always loved them, and though they were beautiful, they weren’t my mother’s stone. The lawyer named another stone collection for each of my grandmother’s daughters before he let out a breath.

  “To my niece, Lacey Brennen-Holden, I leave a small trust with the terms listed for her children and grandchildren, with names to be added according to the policy below. Your children will never have to worry about their futures, as I know you once did. You are a shining star, my Lacey. And I love you.”

  I resisted the urge to turn around as Lacey sobbed, but I would go to her later, and we’d find comfort with one another. We needed to get through this, and I was barely holding on as it was.

  “As for the rest of the estate, holdings, monetary accruals, and properties, I leave them to my granddaughter, Myra West.” There was a shocked gasp to the side of me and a curse, but I ignored it, my pulse racing.

  “As the note reads, ‘I trust my Myra to do what is best, to find those who need hope in the darkness and an extra hand. I trust you with all of my heart, and always have.’”

  He went on to talk about other items and instructions, but I barely listened. Grandma had left nearly everything to me. I couldn’t catch my breath. It didn’t make any sense. She had other grandchildren, and she hadn’t even mentioned the spouses of her children. She had left my mother a small collection of jewelry but nothing else.

  “Now, do you have any questions?” the lawyer asked, and Roland growled.

  “That’s it? When did she change it?”

  I looked over at my cousin, the anger in his face so palpable I almost had to lean back in my chair.

  “Her will has been stated this way for the past six years.”

  “That can’t be right,” my mother said. “She left everything to Myra? Myra left the family.”

  “I didn’t leave. I moved to another state,” I corrected, not knowing why I was even arguing.

  “What did you do to get into her good graces?” Roland asked.

  The lawyer cleared his throat. “We don’t need to be shouting, ladies and gentlemen. We can talk these things over calmly and logically.”

  “There’s no need,” my mother spat, standing up on her high heels. My father and Roland followed. “Our lawyers will be contacting you soon to contest this. This is ridiculous. I am her daughter. Not Myra.”

  “I have the will right here, and it’s legally binding. You’re welcome to contest it, of course, but your mother was of sound mind when she wrote this and had it finalized.”

  “What kind of charlatan are you for letting her do this? Myra can’t handle that kind of inheritance.”

  “I’m sitting right here. Grandma Sharon is gone. Why can’t we simply focus on what we lost? We can work out everything else later.” I needed to breathe.

  Someone put their hand on my shoulder, and I looked up at Lacey, who gave me a squeeze. I let out a breath. I had to remember that I wasn’t alone here. Even if I didn’t know Lacey all that well, I trusted her much more than I trusted the others.

  “You’ll be hearing from my lawyer,” my mother repeated before she stormed out, my father and Roland on her tail.

  The anger seeped off them, and I stood on shaky legs, looking at the intern and the lawyer, trying to formulate words. “Thank you. I need time to contemplate what just happened.”

  “Of course. We have your contact information. We’ll talk soon. There’s a lot of paperwork to go over.”

  I swallowed hard. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do now,” I said.

  “Why don’t we get you home?” Lacey whispered. “I need to get home to my babies and the ranch, but I’m only a quick drive away if you need me. The lawyer will figure out everything else. I’m sure I’ll have a lot of questions, too.”

  I looked at my cousin and swallowed hard. “Thank you. I just… I don’t know what to say.”

  She reached out and wiped the tears from my face. “We lost Grandma Sharon. I don�
�t think there’s anything we should be saying or doing right now.”

  As the lawyer and intern quietly left us alone, I held onto my cousin, one I didn’t know very well and hadn’t spoken to in years, and I wept.

  By the time we left the office, I was emotionally drained and physically exhausted. I would have countless things to sign and go over before I was even close to finished with all of this.

  I had estates to deal with, money I hadn’t ever dreamed of having, and countless other small things to work through. I knew right away that I wasn’t going to keep every dollar my grandmother left me. I figured that was probably why she had given it to me in the first place. I’d find a way to make things work, even though I knew my family and my parents and cousins would never forgive me for being named as Grandma’s heir.

  I drove without thinking. When I found myself in front of Nate’s house, I let out a small sigh. I couldn’t even avoid him when I wanted to. Instead, my subconscious had led me here, and now I would have to see him. I got out of the car as he stood on the porch, Daisy on a leash, currently chewing it as she tugged at him.

  “We just finished with a walk, and she had her water, but now she wants to chew. Do you want to come in?” He studied my face, and I swallowed hard before making my way to him. He hugged me tightly, Daisy sliding between us, trying to cuddle and get more love.

  “Today sucked,” I whispered.

  “I’m glad you came.”

  “I don’t know why I’m here.”

  “We’ll figure that out. I’m glad you’re here.”

  He brought me inside, cuddling we close. We got Daisy situated, and she passed out on her little bed in her octagon as soon as she finished drinking water. Nate brought me a glass of ginger ale.

  I took a sip and coughed. “Is there whiskey in this?”

  “Of course.”

  I snorted. “I didn’t realize I needed a drink.”

  “You looked like you did. I can get you a regular ginger ale if you want, but I figured you might need the courage.”

  “It’s what I needed.” I took another gulp and set the glass down, picking up the water he had also handed me.

  “Thank you,” I whispered.

  “The girls said you had the reading of the will today. I’m not going to ask if you’re okay because, clearly, you’re not. But do you want to talk about it?”

  I nodded and told him exactly what had happened in the office. His eyes got marginally wider with each addition I made to the story.

  “Holy shit,” he whispered.

  “Yeah. I wasn’t expecting that. I don’t know if I’ll ever be in the right frame of mind to deal with everything that Grandma Sharon left me.”

  “That’s a lot of responsibility. But, Myra? You’re amazing. You can handle this. And you’re not alone. We’ve got your back. The Brady brothers and the pact sisters. Always.”

  I wiped tears from my face, annoyed that I was crying again.

  “One day, I will see you and not cry. I’m not a crier. I promise.”

  “A lot came at you recently.” He paused. “Speaking of. You really think your parents are going to contest the will?”

  I nodded quickly. “I think they’re going to do everything in their power to get to what my grandmother had. They didn’t even let me come to the funeral. I definitely don’t think they expected to hear what the lawyer had to say today.”

  “I don’t know why not,” Nate said, and I frowned. “Your grandmother used a lawyer from her old town, and everything’s set up where you live now. They came out here, knowing that something was going to be weird. They had to expect something like this.”

  I shook my head. “I didn’t.”

  “Because you’re in shock over multiple things. They’ve had time to let it stew. They had to know some things wouldn’t go exactly in their favor.”

  “I don’t know if I quite believe that. But, either way, I think I’m officially disowned.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I sighed and took another sip of my whiskey and ginger ale. “I don’t think I can truly be sorry. I lost my family a long time ago. They kept pushing me out with each passing year. The way they looked at me today? I can’t ever go back. Even though I don’t know what of the past I would want to go back to.”

  “I understand. Well, I don’t understand, because even though my parents don’t live here, any time one of us ends up in the hospital for longer than a single treatment, they’re right here.”

  “I hate that you guys keep ending up there.”

  He shook his head. “If our family could stop being shot at or stabbed, that would be great.”

  I winced. “Yes. I’m tired of visiting the hospital.”

  “I’m sorry you had to deal with everything you have. But you’re through that step. And you’re not alone.”

  “Do you want to go on a date with me?” I asked, surprising myself.

  His eyes widened. “Are you asking because you’re going through a lot and you’re mourning right now? Because I don’t want to take advantage of you.”

  I pressed my lips together before I let out a breath. “I have no idea what I’m doing, Nate. I feel like everything is slipping through my fingers like sand. But I’m tired of being afraid of what could happen and of what we lost. I can’t forget the way you are, and how you’re making me feel right now. Honestly, I’m just tired—of pushing, of fighting. We said we were going to start over. But I don’t think I can ever be only friends with you, Nathan. And I think that was always the problem.”

  He stared at me for long enough that I squirmed, afraid I had said something stupid. That I’d pushed too hard or read the situation completely wrong.

  He set down his glass, pulled mine from my hands, and tugged me to my feet.

  “We were never going to be only friends, Myra. And that was the problem.”

  And then his lips were on mine, and I could forget—just for a moment. We might be using each other, but I didn’t think it mattered.

  Because I could get lost in him and the person he had been, as well as the man he was now.

  And in his arms, I knew I wasn’t alone.

  If only for the moment.

  Chapter 14

  Nate

  * * *

  “When I accidentally asked you out on this date, I wasn’t quite expecting this.”

  I snorted as I looked down at Myra, shaking my head. “Did you just say ‘accidentally?’”

  She shrugged, looking quite sexy in her little black getup as she pulled her hair back, tying it at the base of her skull.

  “I didn’t go to your house thinking that I was going to ask you out. It wasn’t even on my mind. Even on the periphery. I simply blurted it out, and it felt right.” She looked at me then, and I wanted to reach out and grab her, kiss her and tell her that everything was going to be okay—even if I wasn’t quite sure I believed it.

  “I’m delighted that you did, even though I have no idea if I would have asked you out. Mostly because we are excellent about never talking about the past.”

  I leaned down and pressed my lips firmly to hers before leaning back and handing over her paintball gun.

  “Okay, we’ve done this once before, though it’s been a few years. Do you need to relearn the basics?”

  She shook her head and looked down at the weapon. “No, I remember. I’m not very good at it, but we’ll have fun.”

  “Let’s go over it again, just in case, as well as secure the rest of your protective gear. We’ll be on the same team as a couple of people from my old job. And we’re going up against the firefighters.”

  Her eyes widened. “Really? But aren’t they, like, muscular and athletic?”

  I snorted and let out a shocked gasp, taking a staggering step back. “Are you saying that I am not athletic or built?”

  Her gaze raked me, and my dick hardened. “You do have your attributes.”

  “You keep talking about my attributes, and we won’t be spending mu
ch time on the field.”

  “Okay, you two, that’s enough of that,” Ed said as he came over. Ed had been my boss back when I was an EMT. He had retired early thanks to a back injury, an injury from the same accident I had been in, though he had lasted a couple of additional years behind the wheel. Eventually, he had given up, though, and now he spent his time at an at-risk youth center, working his ass off. That was how I’d heard about this place. He brought his kids here every once in a while, and the field was consistently maintained and supervised. I felt safe bringing Myra here, even though it never occurred to me that she would be the only girl here today.

  “We’re going over the rules and our game plan, and then we’re going to beat those firefighter bastards.”

  “Am I the only civilian here?” Myra asked, glancing around, looking very cute in her helmet and getup.

  Ed shook his head. “We’re all civilians here, ma’am.”

  She raised a single brow. “Let’s not call me ma’am.”

  Ed snorted and gave me a look.

  “Just do what the lady says.”

  Ed grinned, making him look years younger. “I like you looking all whipped with that fishhook in your mouth.”

  “You’re mixing metaphors,” Myra said, her voice cool, but I heard the laughter in her tone. And from the way the light in Ed’s eyes danced, so did he.

  “All of us are retired—if a bit early given our different ailments or wanting a career change. You’re the only lady here, though. Not by choice,” Ed added.

  “So, you’re not saying that a little lady should be scared of you?” she asked, and I sat back and let Ed deal with it. I kind of liked her all feisty and sounding like the old Myra instead of the one always yelling at me. It was nice for a change.

  “We usually have a less dude-heavy crowd, but two of our usuals are pregnant, and therefore, can’t be on the field. The other two are out of town. So…sorry, you’re stuck with a bunch of testosterone.”

  Myra winked at me. “I think I can handle it.”

  “I sure hope so because we are on a winning streak when it comes to these guys. You can’t be the reason we lose.”