From Our First: A Promise Me Novel

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “No pressure,” I said drily.

  “You’ve been out of the game for the past two months, Brady. I needed to call your brother in as a ringer.”

  “Which one?” Myra asked.

  “Technically, if they’re not married into the group, they have to be in the medical field at least. So, Macon’s the only one we can take.”

  “And it’s okay that Nate and I aren’t married?” Myra asked, her voice very careful.

  It was weird to not stutter over the words, considering we had actually been married. But it didn’t feel like that had been real. It was almost as if it were all a dream, and we were somehow coming out of the fog now.

  We were finding our footing—only we weren’t very good at it.

  “No, you don’t need the ring to be here. Now, let’s go over the plan.”

  I slid next to Myra and tried my best not to reach out and grab her butt since it looked delicious in her black pants.

  “Pay attention,” Myra whispered.

  “It’s really hard.”

  Her gaze went to my crotch, and I snorted.

  “That, too.”

  “Brady, do I need to split you two up?”

  I shook my head. “No, sir. I’ll pay attention.”

  “That’s good. Just remember, I have stories from when you were a rookie. Every single late-night mistake and stupid thing you’ve ever done, I have them all right here.” He tapped his temple. “I can tell Myra everything.”

  “I think you need to tell me everything anyway.” Myra laughed, and everybody joined her.

  “I made a terrible mistake in bringing you here,” I said drily.

  “Oh, no, this is going to be fun.”

  We broke into two by two groups as soon as the game started, and Myra and I crouched down low behind a fallen log. It was eight against eight, and whoever was left standing without paint on them won. It should be simple.

  Except for the fact that I had shitty aim, and Myra was worse.

  “My adrenaline is pumping,” she whispered. “This is scary.”

  “We can quit if you want,” I said quickly.

  She shook her head. “No, I’m having fun, but it’s sort of like when you’re watching a TV show or a movie, and you’re screaming at the girl to look behind her.” She quickly looked over her shoulder, and I held back a laugh, and then did the same.

  “All clear,” I whispered.

  “Good.”

  There was a crunch of leaves, and we ducked down, keeping quiet as two former firefighters walked past, their blue armbands signaling who they were. Myra and I had red bands, which I thought was hilarious considering firefighters should be red. But Ed had chosen the color for the Red Cross. So, in other words, the firemen could suck it.

  Myra set up for the shot as I did, and I whispered under my breath. “Three, two, one.” We both fired, and one of the men dove, both of us missing. Myra got her ball right on the other guy’s chest, though. He cursed, looked towards us, and then threw his head back and laughed.

  “Should have known it was you, Brady.”

  I didn’t say anything, although Myra wanted to. I put my hand over her mouth and whispered in her ear.

  “He’s trying to find out where we are. We need to move.”

  She nodded, and we crawled away, laughing as paintballs soared over our heads.

  We got two more, but then our luck ran out. We needed to cross over another fallen tree, but as we did, someone shouted, and Myra jerked. I heard the sound before it even came at us, and I tackled her to the ground, but it was too late. I cursed under my breath as three paintballs hit me in the side, right where Myra had stood. I rolled, keeping her out of harm’s way. She pushed at me, cursing.

  “Nate, I can handle it.” She looked over her shoulder, shot twice, and the guy cursed.

  “Great aim.”

  “And it seems we have a winner.”

  Ed came out over the ridge, and we all laughed, taking off our gear. Myra stood, looked at her very dirty yet perfectly black outfit, no spots of color, and did a little booty shake.

  “Wow, talk about beginner’s luck.”

  I narrowed my eyes at one of the single men who watched Myra’s ass as she did her little dance, and he held up his hands, shaking his head.

  “Looks like we need to celebrate,” Ed said, and I raised a brow at the other man. “Next time. I do believe you have a date tonight.”

  Myra looked up at me, and I pressed my lips to hers.

  “Congratulations, baby.”

  “I’m going to bruise, and you’re going to have to suck up for the fact that you injured me.”

  I winced. “Sorry. But at least I’m going to have horrible welts from the paintballs.”

  “That is true. It will help me sleep at night.”

  The others laughed, and I pinched her ass. She squealed, and I pulled her away, the others laughing and planning our next outing.

  As we cleaned up, piling everything into my truck, Myra grinned at me. “That was a blast.”

  “Really?” I asked and rubbed my temple.

  “Are you okay?” she said.

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Didn’t hit my head or anything, but I think it was a little too much adrenaline for me. Do you mind driving home?”

  She took the keys from me and kissed me softly.

  “What was that for?” I asked.

  “Because you aren’t a big, tough guy who needs to drive the little lady around. As soon as your head started to hurt, you realized that maybe you might be getting a migraine, so you handed over your keys without a second thought. You asked for help.”

  “I had to learn the hard way that if I don’t, I end up putting people I love in danger.”

  She frowned.

  “I was the big, tough guy to Arden, even though she was having a good health day, and I wasn’t. I ran a stop sign, and I almost killed us both. We were fine. I didn’t even hit a curb or anything, but I threw up all over the interior of my car—and Arden. She’s never let me live it down.”

  Myra winced. “That sounds horrible.”

  “It was. So now I take Ubers everywhere, or I have people drive me if I’m having a bad week driving. I’ve been fine recently, but this might have been a little too much for me.”

  “Oh, Nate. I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be. It was my idea, and I didn’t know if it was going to be bad or not. I never do until I’m there. I don’t take unnecessary risks. And that’s why you’re going to drive us home, so I’m not your unnecessary risk.”

  “Nate, I…” She trailed off, shaking her head.

  I didn’t know what she was going to say, and I was grateful she didn’t finish the sentence.

  Because in my head, it sounded so natural to say that I loved her right then. Because I did.

  I fucking did.

  I had wrapped that feeling around so much hate over the years that I hadn’t let myself feel anything else.

  But I loved her.

  And I had no idea what the fuck to do about it.

  We ended up picking up Thai on our way back to my place, and we retrieved Daisy from Macon’s, as well.

  “I love that Daisy doesn’t have to spend the day at home alone and that she gets to spend time with her cousins.”

  I laughed. “Truth be told, I don’t think the cats are all that happy she’s there, but they’re getting used to her.”

  “True. I guess since we’re eating, she has to go back in the octagon?” Myra asked, setting down the food on the counter as I took Daisy out to the backyard to do her business.

  “Yep. But we’ll get her some food and water, and she’ll be fine. As soon as she gets out of this chewing stage of hers, she can have a little more freedom. But according to Macon, it’s one day at a time.”

  “You’re a good puppy dad,” Myra said as I brought Daisy back in, looking very proud of herself.

  “I’m trying. Macon’s the one with all the rules. I just do my best to follow them.”


  Myra looked down at herself and then grabbed her bag from the counter. “I’m going to shower and change. Do we need to stick the food in the fridge?”

  “As long as you’re not doing your hair or makeup or anything, I can at least set everything out and get it ready.”

  “That sounds like a plan. Because I’m starving.”

  I leaned over and took her lips with mine, groaning. “Me, too.”

  She pulled away, and I was thankful that she looked reluctant as her eyes darkened, and her cheeks reddened. And then she practically ran towards the bathroom.

  We were moving far too fast for whatever this was.

  It didn’t feel real, and I knew she was still grieving. I knew we were figuring out what the hell we were going to do about who we were to each other.

  But I didn’t want to think about any of that just then. All I wanted to do was pretend for a minute.

  And I was grateful that we were making that happen.

  Myra came out wearing her well-worn jeans and a tee, her hair wet and piled on the top of her head.

  “I usually only wear jeans for work. The fact that you are seeing them on me right now should tell you I wanted to be comfy, and these are my oldest pair of pants. Do not tell the rest of the world that I dared to go out in public not looking pristine.”

  I licked my lips and kissed her as I set the plates in front of her. “You always look fucking gorgeous to me.”

  “Is that a come-on?” she asked.

  “If you have to ask, it wasn’t a very good one. Will you bowl up the soup while I change?”

  “I can do that. I’m starving.”

  “Once again, I’m going to say…me, too.” I kissed her hard and then took the quickest shower of my life, putting on gray sweats and a white T-shirt even as I walked towards where she was. Daisy was asleep on her little bed, and I knew I’d have to take her out again soon. Myra sat on the floor near my coffee table, the food spread out before her, and an egg roll in her mouth.

  “I couldn’t wait,” she said around her food.

  I laughed, took a seat next to her so she was cradled between my legs and stole a bite of her egg roll. “Sounds good to me.”

  “Hey, that was mine!”

  “What are you going to do about it?”

  “Stop trying to sex me up when I’m eating. I’m starving.”

  “Okay, fine.”

  “No, not fine. You show up in your gray sweatpants, and I know you’re not wearing any underwear because I can see your dick line.”

  My cock hardened even more, tenting my sweats. “You got a problem with that?”

  “Start eating.”

  “You know what I want to eat.”

  “Nate.”

  And then I took her mouth, and she dropped the rest of the egg roll. We were on the other side of the table from the couch, so there was enough space, and I moved her to her back, kissing her softly.

  “What are we doing?” She breathed into me.

  “I don’t know,” I said honestly, afraid of what the answer might be.

  “I don’t want to think about it. We’ll do this. No promises. Just you and me. No promises,” she repeated.

  I nodded, grateful. “You’re right. For fun. No promises.” Such a fucking lie. One that would break us both in the end.

  “Okay, then kiss me.”

  And so I did. My hands slid up the back of her soft T-shirt, and I groaned.

  “You’re not wearing a bra.”

  “I couldn’t help it. Everything felt so tight and too sensitive.”

  I crawled down her body and pushed her shirt up over her breasts. They fell heavily, and I lapped at her nipple, sucking one into my mouth and then letting it go with a pop. “Jesus Christ, you’re beautiful.”

  “You always say the sweetest things.”

  “I’m not finished yet.”

  I moved to her other breast, giving it equal attention before pushing them together and licking and sucking, molding them with my hands. She moaned and arched into me, and I trailed my lips down her belly, nipping at her waist.

  “Nate,” she whispered.

  I undid her jeans, and she arched her back and lifted her hips for me so I could pull them down and over her butt. I tugged the panties with them, and then she was mostly naked for me, her T-shirt pressed above her breasts, her pants and panties tangled in a pile next to us.

  “I didn’t get a chance to see you naked before. I’m so damn glad I get to look my fill right now. Although it may take me ages to get there.”

  “Stop looking and do something.”

  “You mean like this?” I asked and lowered my head to kiss her core. She arched against me, and I pressed her hips down, sucking, tasting. I spread her, licking her clit, and then delved deep inside her as she moaned, spreading her thighs even more. I slid one hand up and cupped her breast, playing with her nipple as I kept her open for me, tasting her sweetness and needing more. She moved, and I kept going, pleasuring her with my tongue and my mouth. And when she came, she angled more, pressing into my face, and I took over, sucking and tasting and needing.

  She came down, and I hovered over her, kissing her, knowing that she could taste herself on my lips. The thought made me impossibly harder.

  She tugged on my shirt and used her feet to pull at my sweatpants. I laughed and sat up, pushing off my clothes. My dick sprang free, slapping me on the stomach, and she reached out and pumped me.

  “Wow,” she whispered.

  “Now that is the best compliment I’ve ever heard.”

  With the angles of our bodies, she was able to lean forward and lick the tip of my dick. I cursed, tangling my hand in her hair, the clip that held her hair up falling.

  “You keep doing that, and I’m not going to last long.”

  “I’m fine with that,” she said and swallowed a bit more.

  I shook my head, even as my hips worked, fucking her mouth. But then I pulled away, needing to be inside her.

  “I need a condom,” I whispered, my voice coming out in a heated rush.

  “We both already proved that we were clean. And I’m on birth control. We don’t need to go backwards.”

  My breath came out in a shudder, and I positioned myself at her entrance, keeping my gaze on hers.

  “Jesus fucking Christ, I’m not going to last long,” I breathed.

  “Then get inside me.”

  And so I did, slowly teasing her entrance, then entering her a fraction of an inch at a time. She moaned, wrapping her legs around my waist and pulling me even deeper. When I was halfway there, I slammed home, forcing a groan out of both of us. There was no more need for words as we moved as one. When I rolled to my back, she knelt above me, rocking on my cock as she slid her hands over her breasts, pulling the rest of her shirt off and then riding me with abandon.

  I leaned up, sucking one breast into my mouth, fucking her as she did the same to me. When she came, her mouth parted, and her eyes going impossibly dark, she squeezed me, forcing an orgasm out of me.

  I gripped her hips, knowing I would likely leave bruises, but I squeezed and stayed inside her regardless, my dick twitching as I came, both of us shaking, our bodies sweat-slick.

  We looked at each other, our food having gone cold, neither of us speaking.

  I knew that was a fucking problem. Because we were pretending like the past hadn’t happened, and yet it was something we were steeped in. It was why we were here in the first place.

  This would probably blow up in our faces to the point where we would likely end up even more hurt than we already were.

  But right then, with her around me, I didn’t care.

  I knew this was a mistake; every single time we touched and kissed and did something beyond talking and voicing our true feelings was.

  But I didn’t care.

  Sadly, I knew it would be our downfall in the end.

  Chapter 15

  Myra

  * * *

  “I swear
parking gets more ridiculous every year.” Nate pulled in behind Cross’s SUV.

  I looked over my shoulder at Dakota, who rolled her eyes, and Macon rubbed his hand over his mouth. Joshua sat between them, the boy bouncing in his seat.

  “I see the smirking. You may not be saying anything out loud, but I know you’re judging me,” Nate said as he turned off the car when he parked.

  We all scrambled out of the vehicle, and I shook my head at him as we closed the doors.

  “You sound a little more like a curmudgeonly old man than usual,” I laughed. He stalked over to me, twisted my hair in his hands ever so slightly, and kissed me hard on the mouth. The others made oohing and aahing sounds, and I pushed at him.

  “Nathan.”

  “What? You called me curmudgeonly and old. I wanted to prove I’m not.”

  “What does curmudgeonly mean?” Joshua asked as he tugged on my hand.

  I smiled. “It just means he’s growly.”

  “Oh, then Dad gets curmudgeonly all the time,” Joshua said, and my heart did that little extra twisting thing as I looked up at Macon and Dakota. Macon leaned down and kissed the top of Dakota’s head, looking as proud as a peacock. Joshua was starting to call Macon “Dad” and did it as if he had been saying the phrase his entire life.

  I was going to start crying any minute at the sweetness of it.

  All of my friends had found their families, and I had, as well—only not in the same way.

  I knew they were looking at Nathan and me as if we were ready for the next step, but I wasn’t quite there yet. And I didn’t think Nate was either. We were still trying to find our footing in the boggy ground that was our second time around when we hadn’t even been aware that the first time had ended the way it had.

  “Okay, are we all ready to go?” Hazel said, Cross, Paris, and Prior behind her.

  “I think we are.” I looked at the others, who nodded.

  We were here for Music in the Foothills, a fun concert that raised money for local charities. It was an entertaining time for families—and great music in general. I had come the past two years, but this was my first time with a whole crew like this. It felt like I was part of a family, something bigger than myself. And I liked it. I had never done anything like this with my parents. This was far too informal with the food trucks and carts everywhere. People were camped out on blankets or in lawn chairs they had brought. It was usually very peaceful and a lot of fun. Kids ran around and played, and everybody had a good time.