Courage To Follow (Cowboys of Courage 1)

by Charlene Bright

  He immediately dismissed the idea and felt like an ass for even thinking it. Shakota was not the sort of woman to use men, for any purpose, and Garrett had felt the true passion in her kiss and the way she wrapped her body around him. She didn’t have ulterior motives.

  He grabbed one of the squares of cornbread and bit half of it off, chewing and swallowing to fill the silence as he considered his response. Finally, he told her, “I understand what you mean. I may not have family to hold me here, but I have a connection to the land and the community. Chrissy wasn’t kidding. A whole group of us were headed to Billings after graduation, but almost no one actually left. I keep thinking I want to pick up and go, but something always holds me back.”

  “It’s your spirit,” she told him, her response quick and certain. He frowned at her, not quite sure what she meant, and she explained, “Your spirit knows where it belongs. You can take it around the world, but it will always want to come back to a certain place. You happen to have been born in the place your spirit connects with.”

  That was an interesting idea, and Garrett pondered it for a bit before he said anything else. Lou dropped off the drinks and gave him a look that told him she had something to say, and if he didn’t give her the opportunity in private, she would say it in public. He’d give her a chance later.

  Now, though, he asked, “Does the spirit decide other things, too?” He made sure not to sound facetious.

  She nodded, obviously enthusiastic about the subject. “Your spirit identifies all your passions in life. It tells you what purpose to pursue, what hobbies suit you best, who you should spend your life with, and what fulfills you.”

  Something about her words made Garrett feel a bit off balance, and he couldn’t figure out why. He’d have to mull that over and figure out why it bothered him, but now, he needed to take care of business. “That’s interesting. I want to explore that a little more, but I’m going to excuse myself to the men’s room first.” He slid out of the booth and headed back toward the bathroom, completely unsurprised to find Lou there, waiting for him.

  She put a finger in his chest and said, “I want to know what’s going on right now, Garrett Woodward. What’s the mess I hear about you killing Hoyt for revenge and the badge?”

  Garrett controlled his rage, but he couldn’t keep the muscle in his jaw from twitching. “It’s not true, Lou, and I intend to prove it, even if the authorities are too lazy or spiteful to. Come on, you have to know I wouldn’t do anything like that.”

  “Oh, I’m well aware. What I can’t understand is why you aren’t fighting this tooth and nail.”

  “It wouldn’t do any good, Lou. Leland is determined to lock me up and throw away the key, and there’s nothing but a set of footprints that implicate me to give us a clue where the damn sheriff went.” He pointed back toward the dining area. “I figure, as long as I’m working to solve the problem, they can’t arrest me on circumstantial evidence, so in the meantime, I’m enjoying myself the best way I can.”

  She stepped back and crossed her arms over her ample chest. “I see that. She came out of nowhere. I haven’t seen you with any woman in at least two years, and I’ve never seen this one at all.”

  “That’s because she lives on the reservation, Lou. You know I like spending time down there.” It was true enough to be plausible, and it would skirt around any questions about how acquainted he and Shakota were.

  Lou stared at him for a minute, pursing her lips, and finally said, “Well, I like her. Don’t lose her. And don’t get yourself locked up. Are you sure Hoyt’s still alive?”

  Garrett wasn’t sure of anything except they had to get to Thermopolis tomorrow and start digging around. “I don’t know. I mean, from what I’ve discovered, I believe he’s alive, but I don’t want to speak too soon and get anyone’s hopes up. But no matter what, I’m not guilty, and I’m not going to jail. Now, can I get back to my dinner date? I’d really like to butter her up, since she’s staying with me tonight.”

  Lou flushed and batted her eyelashes. “Go on, honey. And if she turns you down like some insane glutton for punishment, give me a call, all right?” She laughed as she walked off, and Garrett took a moment to recover before heading back to the table.

  He found Shakota having a lighthearted conversation with Chrissy, Lucas’s seat empty. As he slid back into his seat, Shakota told him, “Chrissy was telling me some stories about high school. Apparently, you were the unattainable, mysterious, and brooding hottie.”

  Garrett wasn’t prepared for that discovery, and he turned to Chrissy, who blushed and looked away as she said, “Oh, don’t be so modest, Garrett. You really don’t know that every girl in school had a crush on you at some point, including me?”

  This was embarrassing. “No, actually, I didn’t. I was probably too busy brooding, since my brother had finally decided to leave and I felt abandoned.” He could hear the resentment in his tone, and he shook himself, not wanting to act like an ass with Shakota sitting right there with him. It shouldn’t have still felt raw to think about Alex leaving him, but most of the wounds inflicted by family hadn’t healed.

  “I didn’t mean to upset you,” Chrissy apologized.

  He gave her an amicable smile. “Don’t mind me. I’ve just got a lot on my mind. Where’s Lucas?”

  She waved a hand in the air vaguely, looking despondent. “He got a call and had to run out on the job. I swear, people need to just stop going anywhere unless they have a compass and a sense of direction.” She tossed some cash on the table and stood. “I’m getting out of here. You two enjoy your night, okay?” She bent and kissed Garrett’s cheek, and then she hugged Shakota before heading out the door.

  “I get the feeling that happens a lot,” Shakota mused, looking concerned for the other woman.

  “It does. Chrissy’s got it hard. She married a loser who got her to stay here instead of taking her scholarship at the state university, but then he ran off to the city with some other woman. She has two young kids, and Lucas works long hours, sometimes strange hours like this. She actually doesn’t have any other family here but him, either. She doesn’t get out a lot, and half the time, when she gets a babysitter and has a night out with her brother like this, he gets called away.”

  The waiter brought their food, and Garrett didn’t say anything. Shakota was quiet too, though he could tell she had something to say. As soon as the waiter left, she told him, “You know, I know Lucas is not her husband, and apparently her husband was a jerk of the worst kind. But I think that, if he’s going to schedule a night out with his sister, and it’s really that rare, he shouldn’t be on call during those hours.”

  It was a reasonable request. Garrett had heard other women ragging on Lucas for being more concerned with his job than his family. Lucas loved his job, and there was nothing wrong with that. He did as much as he could for his sister. But he could also be a little more considerate of the time he set aside for Chrissy.

  “I agree with you,” he told her simply. They ate in silence for several minutes, and Garrett circled back around to a different subject. “When we get to Thermopolis, what are we going to do?”

  Swallowing and taking a deep breath, she told him, “First, we’re going to look for his car. Somehow, I don’t think he got rid of it. If we can find the car, we can find the man.”

  That made sense. “And if we don’t find the car?”

  She pointed at him with her fork, her eyes narrowed. “Don’t jinx it! If we don’t find the car, I’ll start asking questions just like I did at the gas station today. Someone is bound to have seen him. Thermopolis is a small town, not really any bigger than Courage. Strangers would be noticed.”

  He hoped so. If not, they’d essentially be searching for a needle in a haystack.

  Chapter 13

  Garrett had put clean sheets on the bed and taken the others out to the living room to make up the couch for himself. Shakota took her small bag into the bathroom, locked the door, and changed. Then, sh
e stared at herself in the mirror for a long time. She silently asked herself if it would be a bad idea to just throw caution to the wind, run out into the living room, and strip the man down. She didn’t think it would be wise.

  Why was it that she couldn’t just let this go? She was literally obsessing, and she was a stronger person than that. Putting it behind her and concentrating on the thought that she needed good, solid sleep and peace of mind to get through tomorrow’s search, she steeled herself against her hormonal instincts and told herself she was going to lie down, close her eyes, and go to sleep.

  She opened the bathroom door and listened. She heard nothing in the other room, and as she peeked around the corner, she found the lights already off. She held her breath, trying to catch the slightest noise that signaled movement or even breathing, but it was completely still. What had happened to Garrett?

  She assumed he had already fallen asleep and had such a shallow breathing pattern she couldn’t hear it. That struck her as odd, considering her tracking skills. She could hear someone breathing from two hundred feet away.

  With a sigh, she turned out the light and crawled under the covers, but rather than managing to close her eyes, she found herself staring at the ceiling. She’d told Garrett at dinner about his spirit to try and point out what she thought should be obvious. He’d even asked questions about it and taken in what she’d said. He looked like he was considering the information, but he’d never come back around to it like he’d supposedly intended, and when they’d come back to his place, he’d acted like they were old friends who grew up together.

  She screamed silently, thrashing in the bed. She controlled her life and had always managed to set things in motion the way she wanted them. On the rare occasion things didn’t turn out the way she planned, she was strong enough to shrug it off and tell herself it just wasn’t meant to be. Why couldn’t she handle it now?

  Feeling like a sexually charged and frustrated teenager, Shakota had to fist her hands in the covers to keep from climbing out of the bed and going out to find Garrett. She looked around the dark room, lit only by the thin stream of light coming from the half moon and tainted by clouds and trees, and noticed a set of French doors she hadn’t seen before and got up, wrapping herself in the blanket from the bed.

  Quietly, so as not to disturb Garrett’s sleep, she opened the doors and stepped out onto the deck he had built, staring out at the woods. There was nothing to see, really, except the misty fog that was already gathering along the ground. She leaned against one of the posts, letting nature console her, even though she shouldn’t have needed the comfort. This was where she found her peace when she couldn’t find it within, and that was part of the reason she’d hesitated to leave the reservation.

  There were far too many people who didn’t understand the connection to the land and the solace of the earth she felt, other than her own people. It was also something she knew was different about Garrett. She could sense the energy he took from the land and gave back to it through his work. She shivered, wishing she could share this moment and the silver light shining down on her with him. He would appreciate it as much as she did.

  A wisp of wind blew the edge of the blanket away from her body, the chilled air brushing over her bare feet and calves, and she shuddered slightly at the unexpected touch of cold. She loved nights like this one, especially in serene places like Garrett’s ranch. She could hear the sniffling of cows as they slept, sense the quiet of the pig in the distance, and barely catch the shuffles and swishing of tails in the barn where the horses were.

  But she heard something else, too, and straightened, her spine tingling. She tuned out the noises of the sleeping animals and the rustling of the leaves through the trees, even the slight whistle of the wind, and she focused on the sound that didn’t fit.

  Footsteps.

  On alert, she closed her eyes to determine what direction they came from and where they were going. It was part of her training, and as long as she could focus on just the one unfamiliar noise while tuning out everything she recognized, she could find the source and stop the intruder before anything bad happened.

  They sounded to her right, south, and they were close, coming toward her. The sound was soft, and she cocked her head to the side, frowning. The soft padding of bare feet contrasted with the idea of an intruder, so she spun toward the sound, her eyes wide as she stared at Garrett. He stopped mid-stride, frozen in place as she gazed at him, and the cold air became a blessing as her blood absolutely boiled.

  He wore a pair of loose pajama pants and a robe that hung open, showing the expanse of his chest, and she was glad she was holding the blanket wrapped around her. It meant her hands were busy and wouldn’t just reach out to caress him without her permission. There was a thin trail of hair that started just above his navel and traveled down below the waist of his pants, which were slung low on his hips. She didn’t bother to hide the way her eyes brushed over his skin where her hands could not.

  “Are you having trouble sleeping?” he asked, his voice gruff but quiet, and she knew instantly it was out of respect for the reverent night. “Can I get you something to help? Something to drink or maybe another blanket?”

  She just shook her head. “No, being out here settles me.” She paused. “I thought you were sound asleep.”

  He snorted. “No, I was just lying there, thinking. Trust me--if I’m asleep, you’ll know it. My family always told me I snore so loud I shake the house like a freight train rolling across the patio.”

  That was interesting. So, that utter silence had been him lying awake...holding his breath? She didn’t know what to make of that. “What were you thinking about? Trying to make that murder charge stick by killing the sheriff for the hassle when you finally find him?” she quipped, but she seriously wondered what his thoughts were.

  He smiled, but there was no humor in it. “No, that would have been a very pleasant dream, though, especially since I could probably get out of it with a plea of temporary insanity.” The expression faded, and his eyes sharpened, sparkling like stars and carrying some hidden knowledge Shakota was dying for him to share. “I was thinking about you.”

  She sucked in a breath and held it. That’s what she wanted to hear, and yet, she wasn’t sure it was a good thing. “Really?” she asked, her voice tense.

  He nodded and leaned against the post about six feet from her. “I don’t know what you’ve done to me, Shakota, but I can’t get you out of my head. And I keep thinking about the whole spirit thing you talked about. I wanted to ask you more, but when I came back, you were talking to Chrissy, and I didn’t have the heart to take away from what she needed.”

  That made Shakota feel much better, and she had hope again. Swallowing past the sudden anxiety in her throat, she asked, “What did you want to talk about?”

  He reached up and scratched the back of his head, looking very boyish in that moment. Shakota was reminded of adolescence, when awkward teenage boys tried to tell shy and insecure girls they liked them. “You said the spirit knows its place in everything in the world and guides you, even recognizes who you’re supposed to be with. How does that work?”

  She smiled. “Our people’s beliefs aren’t that different from most, actually. However, instead of believing the eternal soul goes to heaven or hell, our spirits are guided through another learning experience until they have reached full knowledge and growth on this plane of life.”

  “It sounds very...Buddhist,” he commented.

  “Yes, but our ways are much older than that. Each spirit keeps track of the previous lives, even though we don’t remember much, if anything. And when the spirit returns, it finds its way based on previous experience. When it comes to relationships, spirits seek out the ones they previously bonded with, in both friendship and love. It’s like the soulmate that so many other religions incorporating reincarnation refer to. Therefore, your spirit will recognize the spirit with which it bonded in previous lives.” She hoped that was a clear en
ough explanation, considering it was wrapped up better than Cliff’s Notes. After all, these teachings were learned over the course of years by the youths of the Crow Nation, and she’d summed it up in less than five minutes total.

  He didn’t look particularly confused but possibly a little troubled. “Not to be morbid or play devil’s advocate or anything, but what happens if the person you’re supposed to be with dies before you find them?”

  The thought was hard for her to bear; it was rare, but it happened. “Usually, if one half of the connection is severed like that, the other half is soon after so they can try again in another life. Sometimes, though, a person simply goes through life alone.”

  Garrett blanched at that and asked, “How do you know if you’ve found the person you’re connected to? I mean, is there some sort of sign?”

  Since she’d never experienced it herself, she couldn’t really answer that question accurately. Having a hunch or gut feeling didn’t make something true, and if she was wrong, she certainly didn’t want to sway Garrett in the wrong direction. “If I’d been through it and could tell you about it, I wouldn’t be here right now, as you so shrewdly figured out when I arrived this morning. No married woman would be sent on this sort of journey alone.”

  He turned away, staring into the woods like he caught the gaze of a deer and looked into its soul. When he spoke again, it was so soft she had to strain to hear him and wondered if she was supposed to at all. “I always thought I’d be able to talk to my parents about something like this. It’s a damn shame. I know the two of them belonged together. They had it easy with each other.”

  Shakota’s heart broke for him. She wasn’t sure exactly what he wanted to talk to them about at this moment, but she couldn’t imagine not being able to talk to her mother. It was hard enough not having a father, and she could still feel his presence watching over her. Garrett had no one.