Courage To Follow (Cowboys of Courage 1)

by Charlene Bright

  “You can talk to me, Garrett. I’m an excellent listener.”

  He shook his head, and a dimple appeared in his cheek with a grin of embarrassment. “And there you have the irony, ladies and gentlemen.” He turned a tortured expression to her. “The person I want to talk about is the only person I can talk to. It doesn’t work that way, Shakota.”

  Disappointed and anticipatory at the same time, Shakota told him, “I can work with you, though. Tell me what I can do to help. I’ll do anything I can to help you.” The longer she looked at this man, and the more time she spent with him, the more she wanted him. And the more sure she was that Garrett Woodward had to be the perfect man for her.

  He just stared at her, his face registering nothing, and she wished she had the gift of sight. If she were psychic, she wouldn’t have to wait agonizingly to know what spun through that gorgeous head of hair. “Anything?” he asked at long last, and it sounded like a challenge. Shakota simply nodded. “Come here,” he said, his tone demanding but also tainted with a plea.

  She crossed the distance between them, her heart pounding and creating a pulsating rhythm between her thighs. She couldn’t help it; being this close to him meant she breathed in his pheromones in a concentrated release, and they did their job on her. With a foot between them, she gazed up at him expectantly.

  He remained silent, and her nerves grew raw. She refused to let herself be vulnerable, though, and she wouldn’t beg. She stood her ground and waited.

  Without a word, Garrett swept her into his arms and planted his lips on hers, all in one fluid motion, and she could taste his desperation. It matched her own, and she leaned into him, melting against that rock-hard chest as she let the blanket slide down. She wanted as little between them as possible as she explored his mouth with avid interest, tasting every last inch of it.

  He pulled her tighter, his hands splayed over her back, and she could feel the heat of his palms and the roughness of his fingertips through the thin satin pajama top she wore. He slid one up to her neck, curling his fingers around it gently and tilting her head. The kiss deepened, and Shakota’s toes curled against the wood beneath her feet. If kissing him in the kitchen had lit a campfire inside her, this was an uncontrolled bonfire that was going to rage through a forest and burn down acres of land.

  This time, when his fingers slid beneath the hem of her top, she didn’t stop him, and the searing heat of his touch made her moan into his mouth. Her reaction intensified his exploration, and he devoured her mouth until she felt he was going to eat her alive. She wouldn’t have minded.

  Shakota also felt the evidence of his arousal pressing against her stomach, and it fueled the fire that consumed her. She shifted slightly in his arms to brush against it, and he groaned into her mouth. But it also backfired: her nipples, hard and taut, rubbed against his chest with the slick material between them, and she shuddered, close to cresting a peak already.

  Garrett’s hand on her back had reached between her shoulders, and now, he slipped it around, down her side and back up her stomach until he cupped one swollen breast. She threw her head back and gasped as he squeezed and stroked her nipple with his thumb. “Oh, God, Garrett, if you don’t plan to finish this, you better stop now!” she cried, panting.

  He rolled the nub between finger and thumb, and she nearly went into convulsions trying not to have her release just yet. He bent over her and nibbled at her jaw, trailed a line down her throat with his tongue, and landed in the hollow of her collarbone, licking and kissing and driving her absolutely wild. Then, he spoke against her skin, sending delicious vibrations through her body, straight to her core. “I fully intend to finish this.”

  She smiled in blessed relief as he stepped back and swept her up with one arm under her knees and the other behind her back. He carried her through the French doors, not even bothering to close them as he stalked toward the bed and sat her on the edge. And why should he? Out this far, and this late at night, only Diablo would be coming and going, and she doubted he’d be stupid enough to interrupt.

  Garrett reached for the hem of her shirt, and she lifted her arms for him to tug it over her head. Her arms still in the air, she reached for his robe and slid it off his shoulders. God, but he was sexy! His broad form showed strength and proved he was a working man, not just some buffed-up beefhead who spent too much time in the gym.

  She let her fingertips run down the lines and ridges of his torso, admiring every inch of his body, and when she reached the waist of his pants, she thrust her hand in and pulled his pants down.

  Even the most intimate part of him was well formed, and she squeezed her legs against the throbbing pulse as she imagined what he would feel like inside her. He pushed her hand aside and knelt in front of her, palming the back of her head and pulling her into a passionate kiss that promised an incredible experience ahead.

  As he kissed her, he got to his feet and used his other hand to leverage her further onto the bed with smooth, graceful motions that spoke to how controlled he was in everything he did. That was fine, but Shakota had every intention of digging up the fun, spontaneous man she’d met once or twice. She didn’t want serious and controlled tonight; she wanted everything Garrett had to offer.

  She drew her nails up his back tenderly, raising bumps on his skin, and he shivered in pleasure, lowering himself above her, hot and enticing, and she moaned, and pulled him in closer. He felt so amazing, and she couldn’t get enough.

  But he wouldn’t let her draw him in yet, and he shifted to the side enough to reach down and remove her pajama bottoms. He gazed at her with hungry eyes, letting them roam her from head to toe. Shakota wasn’t embarrassed. She was proud of her body and worked to maintain it. And the way he looked at her made her feel like she was being worshiped.

  He spent several long minutes running fingers, palms, lips and tongue over her entire body, from head to toes and back again. By the time he came back to her lips, she was writhing and gasping, no longer able to control her body or its releases.

  At long last, he made love to her. It was a sweet torture to her body, and as she watched Garrett’s face, she could see his pleasure growing, taking both of them over the edge, leaving her in sweet and utter bliss.

  She never wanted to move from this spot. But to her dismay, Garrett moved, rolling to the side of her, and she sighed. Of course, his face nuzzling into her hair and one arm thrown over her stomach went a long way in satisfying her, and she closed her heavy eyelids.

  Chapter 14

  The sight of Shakota so relaxed with the hint of a smile on her lips and her body glistening with sweat struck Garrett square in the chest, and he decided it was second only to the sight of her writhing and crying out in the throes of passion. She was the most beautiful creature he’d ever laid eyes on, and she was eager and exciting in bed.

  He searched his mind for something he didn’t like about her, and while he didn’t know every last detail of her personality or her life, he came up with nothing. He could have balked at her whole explanation of the spirit knowing its mate, knowing the reason she brought it up was to get him thinking about what was happening between them. The problem was, she believed it wholeheartedly, and now, Garrett thought he might believe it, too.

  He’d never reacted to anyone the way he did to her. He couldn’t be angry with her, no matter what. Even a slight irritation faded in an instant, and at this moment, with that serene look on her face, all he wanted to do was kiss her, run his fingers through her hair, and cover her up so she could sleep soundly.

  “Are you asleep?” he whispered, barely any sound coming out of his mouth.

  “No, I’m not, are you?” she returned in a similar whisper.

  Garrett didn’t know why he was relieved, but he pushed up on his elbow and leaned over her, planting a chaste but lasting kiss on her lips. “Unless I’ve just been having an erotic dream, then no, I’m not asleep.” She chuckled, and her breasts bounced. Garrett had to swallow against the desire that rose
in his throat. He wanted to talk, but he didn’t have a clue what to say.

  “I guess you changed your mind,” she rasped in a sultry voice. If she sounded like this after sex, he wanted to keep her in afterglow all the time.

  He couldn’t resist reaching out and tracing the line between her breasts down to her navel with his fingertips. “No, I didn’t change my mind. I wanted this all along. I just decided to go with my gut.”

  She opened her eyes and turned her head to look at him, and he swam in those expressive eyes. “And your gut told you to do this?”

  It was the explanation he understood, but there was more to it than that. He felt strange trying to put it into words, especially since it was a brand new idea to him. He also worried she would think he was making it up as a way to charm her, considering she’d presented the thought. “Maybe it wasn’t my gut.” He took a deep breath. “Shakota, I’m a loner. That’s partly by circumstance and partly by choice. Either way, I’m not exactly prepared to get close to people so fast.”

  The way she stared at him made him feel exposed and vulnerable, two things he hated, and it didn’t help that he was still naked as a jaybird. He tried telling himself she wasn’t dressed, either, but it didn’t make him any more at ease. “Something about you felt different the minute you walked into my house, and I couldn’t place it. I thought maybe I’d seen you on the reservation before, but then I told myself I would have remembered someone like you. It just didn’t add up. Then you started talking about the spirit, and I knew you were right about this being where I belong. I’ve tried to leave more than once, but I never could, and you made it clear that it’s my spirit locking me down.”

  She smiled. “I’m glad I could help you with that. A lot of people don’t understand why they’re drawn to certain places, people, or things. You know, we learn to understand how the spirit works over months and years. You must be very open minded and intelligent to understand from my simplification of the matter.”

  He shrugged. “I guess I’ve spent enough time around Solid Fist to make sense of most of your people’s beliefs with just a little guidance.” He shifted and sat up, looking down at her. “When you told me that kindred spirits recognize each other, something happened to me. It was like a severed connection in my brain was soldered back together, and I managed to comprehend the meaning behind that strange feeling that came over me when I met you, and then again every time I looked at you.”

  Shakota’s smile faded, and Garrett wondered whether he wasn’t making sense or she just didn’t like where he was headed with this. Had he completely misunderstood what she’d been telling him? He steeled himself against the possibility of embarrassment and disappointment; he needed to say this out loud, or he would never forgive himself.

  “You’re more than just a pretty face, Shakota. You’re a beautiful woman, inside and out, and maybe I don’t know everything about you. In fact, I probably only know five percent of what there is to know. But I feel like we’ve known each other forever. I’m not an awkward guy, but I’m not usually so quick to feel comfortable with someone. And when I said I don’t have time for dating and relationships, I wasn’t making excuses. I don’t. But I feel this desperate need to make time for you.”

  He rubbed his face, not happy with how this was coming out. For lack of a better explanation, he finally just blurted out, “Maybe I’m way off base, but if the spirit really does tell you who to be with, I think mine wants to be with yours.” He laughed out loud at the sound of it, wondering if he’d entirely lost his mind. “It doesn’t even make sense. I haven’t known you twenty-four hours, and I’m under the gun to protect my name and my livelihood. Maybe it’s just stress, and I’m grabbing at straws.”

  He felt her hand on his arm, and strange bands of warmth radiated from her fingertips through his body and straight to his stomach. “I know the concept is hard to grasp, and you’ve done well with it, Garrett. But you have to realize that it doesn’t matter if you’ve known your spirit mate for five minutes or fifty years. It feels the same.”

  He turned to look at her in surprise. “Do you think this is real?” He was so tense, too many things changing all at once, and he felt like he had no one to talk to about it. He had considered stopping on the reservation to talk to Solid Fist on the way to Thermopolis, just to get his thoughts, but the confirmation or dismissal of his theory both scared him a little.

  She sat up, and for once, Garrett didn’t let his eyes fall below her face. Her eyes were intense, but her expression was soft. “I can’t be certain because I haven’t felt it before, but I have the same idea you do.” He didn’t feel particularly relieved, but he wasn’t as tense as he had been, and when she cupped his cheek in her palm and leaned in for a soft, sensual kiss that left her taste lingering on his lips long after she pulled back, Garrett thought his heart might explode. He’d been subjected to such a strong wave of emotion only twice before in his life—once when he’d lost his parents and again when his brother had left him.

  “How do we find out?” he asked, desperate for some sort of sign or plan that would clear up this cloud of sentimentality and confusion.

  Shakota didn’t look particularly insightful, but she told him, “I think we just continue to follow our instincts with each other. We have a lot to accomplish in a short time, so we’ll have to just keep working until we find your sheriff. But we’ll be together, and that will give our spirits a chance to feel each other out. I believe we’ll know.”

  That was a frustrating answer, but Garrett had to accept it, especially since they did need to focus on the more pertinent issue. He looked at the clock and winced. It was after three in the morning, and they were supposed to be setting out at six. “We’ve got less than two hours to sleep, you know.”

  She wrinkled her nose, glancing at the clock to confirm. “If I fell asleep right now, only to wake up to an alarm in two hours, I would just be cranky and nauseated. Why don’t you take the bed and get some rest, and I’ll get some coffee going, take care of the animals, and make breakfast?”

  He couldn’t believe she was volunteering to take over the ranch work for him. “That’s not your responsibility, Shakota. Besides, I’m a little too worked up to sleep. Let’s split the difference. You take the kitchen duty, and I’ll deal with the livestock.”

  “Oh, no, you’re not pulling the chauvinistic point of view, that a woman belongs in the kitchen.”

  Garrett gaped. He hadn’t meant that at all. “I didn’t even think of it like that,” he told her. “See? I have no business dating or sleeping with a woman, especially not someone like you. You deserve better.”

  Shakota seemed to relent. “No, Garrett, if our spirits are connected, there is no better match for me.” She slid out of bed, and Garrett enjoyed the view as her nude body swayed in the dim moonlight toward where her clothes had fallen to the floor. “Come on, let’s get moving. Maybe we’ll even get an early start.”

  Grunting with the effort, muscles he rarely used sore from their intimate evening, Garrett climbed off the bed and found a pair of discarded jeans and a thermal shirt, slipped on his boots, and stopped long enough to kiss her cheek as he headed out to the barn. Today could go two ways. He could successfully return Hoyt to Courage and clear the air, or he could go down in flames, losing everything he’d built for himself and a future he now looked forward to.

  Chapter 15

  Shakota was unexpectedly nervous as she beat together eggs, a splash of milk, ham, cheese, and diced bell peppers. She should have been soaring, happier than she’d ever been, but instead, she’d gone into a place where she was thinking too hard and analyzing everything.

  Spirit-mates or not, she was falling for Garrett, and considering what a short time she’d spent with him, she understood exactly why he was a little disconcerted. She’d spent months trying to feel this way about someone, and she’d never come close. It was beautiful and terrifying all at once.

  Still, she could handle that part. She’d always bee
n good at adapting, which is what had made her such a strong person and such a good tracker. She could conform to any situation, including an adjustment to her own needs and emotions. She actually liked the idea of building a relationship with Garrett. He treated her like an equal, something she’d had a hard time getting from the men of her tribe. It was one of the things about the outside world that drew her.

  But in that lay her concern. So many things about this society called to her, and this was where Garrett belonged, on the outskirts but still part of it. At the same time, how could she leave the reservation, knowing she would be leaving her tribe, her mother, and the spirit of her father? She’d have to conform in certain ways, and she wouldn’t have the constant peace of being surrounded by her culture.

  Of course, in some ways, that was preferable. For example, no one would fault her for her strength and determination or for her interest in things deemed to be “masculine.” She could stay here, with Garrett, and breathe in the solace of the nature surrounding her. But could she really remain out here, or would she be drawn back to her home?

  As she poured the eggs in the hot frying pan, she felt overwhelming frustration. Here she was, telling Garrett that the spirit guided you in such things, and yet hers failed to tell her where she belonged. It spoke to her about so many things, but not this, and that made planning to pursue a relationship with this man impossible.

  She would have to decide, and mostly, that meant determining whether or not she could exchange her life on the reservation for a life with Garrett. She doubted she could convince him to live with her out there, and even if she could, she’d be altering the natural course of things for him. He would never feel settled the way he did here, and she doubted he’d play well with others when he saw how they treated her.

  She growled to herself, shoving at the eggs in the pan violently to release some aggression. It shouldn’t be so hard! What was she doing wrong that she couldn’t see the right answer?