Sister Katherine

by Tracy St. John

  Marci squealed right in Katherine’s ear. “We missed you! Are you going to stay with us now?”

  “For a few hours, my sweethearts. Are you all okay?”

  Darci grinned up at her. “We’re fine, Sister.”

  Marci added, “We’re being good. We say our prayers all the time, and I always ask God to look out for you.”

  Katherine laughed. “As you can see, your prayers are being answered.”

  Dark-haired Brenda’s round face registered confusion as she looked Katherine over. “Sister, why are you wearing an Earth Space Fleet uniform?

  Katherine chuckled, trying not to feel self-conscious. “I never got the chance to go back to my cell for a change of clothes. I must say, I feel strange in pants. Tell me, do I look ready to fly a ship now?”

  That earned her some laughter. As the girls chattered away about all that had happened since she’d last seen them, Katherine noted that three of the older nuns had turned away from them. It hurt to see their disapproval, but she consoled herself that she was with her youngsters. That was what really mattered.

  The absence of Mother Superior concerned her, however. When she asked for her whereabouts, thirteen-year-old Alice said, “She got sick, so they made her go see the doctor. I think it’s a Kalquorian doctor they took her to.”

  Katherine checked around for Sister Bernadette, but as before, the second in the convent’s hierarchy was also absent. Sister Cheryl, a youthful-looking 52-year-old with an exuberant temperament, stood nearby as if waiting to greet Katherine.

  Katherine asked her, “It’s not serious?”

  Cheryl waved her hands as if shooing away flies. “It’s her heart again, Sister. Nothing too bad, just a return of the arrhythmia. By the way, you look good in uniform.” She winked, setting off more laughter.

  One of the nuns who had turned away, Sister Ruth, scowled from the corner she’d retreated to. “Why are you speaking to her? She’s been touched by now. Bred.”

  The ebullient Cheryl went steely in an instant. She snapped, “Not by choice. I will not hold what cannot be helped against any of them. We are better served seeing to our own souls and tending the children.”

  Ruth turned away once more, the lines in her face deepened by her obvious disapproval. The dozen nuns who had not withdrawn from Katherine offered her sympathetic, and best of all, understanding smiles. Katherine’s heart warmed to see the majority didn’t hold her being taken as a clan’s mate against her. Tears prickled her eyes at their kindness.

  Marci whispered in her ear, “Why is Sister Ruth mad at you, Sister?”

  Katherine kissed her cheek and set her down. “Because she’s scared. War is a confusing and frightening time. It can be difficult to know how to act or what to do when you find yourself in a situation like ours.”

  Sixteen-year-old Francine sucked on her lower lip as she regarded the Nobek guards at the door. Simdow had departed and the two men did appear friendlier. Well, at least not quite as grumpy, at any rate.

  Francine told Katherine, “The Kalquorians are supposed to be terrible, hellbound people. Instead, they’ve been very kind to us. That’s what confuses me the most. We’ve been praying for them since they’ve treated us so well. Even the mean-looking ones bow and tell us to let them know whatever we require for our comfort.”

  Most of the other aspirants nodded, though a few looked disapproving. Katherine saw an opportunity to share a taste of her own experiences.

  “It’s no different than people of our own race that we’ve met, is it? We have to remember to judge not by where the person comes from or how he looks, but by his actions. Who remembers the parable of the good Samaritan?”

  All of the girls nodded, and a few raised their hands as if they were in the classroom. Darci tugged at Katherine’s shirt. “I know, I know, Sister.”

  “Tell us the story, Darci.”

  Darci took a step back from Katherine so that everyone could see her. Her bright voice rang out with assurance.

  “A man was beaten and robbed and left for dead on the side of the road. A priest of his own people walked by and didn’t help him. A rich man, also of his people, walked by and didn’t help him. But the Samaritan, who was supposed to be an enemy of the beaten man’s race stopped. The Samaritan picked him up and took him to the doctor so he could be made well. And that’s how we’re supposed to be; kind and helpful to even our enemies when they’re in need.”

  Katherine nodded her approval. “Very good.”

  Brenda asked, “So the Kalquorians are kind of like Samaritans? Even though we’re their enemies and they’ve made us their prisoners, they will be nice to us?”

  “I think so, if we don’t make trouble for them. From the ones I’ve spoken to, they are very protective of youngsters and elders. They take your safety and well-being seriously.”

  Ashley asked, “What’s going to happen to us, Sister?”

  Katherine was glad she had comforting answers for them, answers that were truthful as far as she knew. “There are plans to end the war soon. Whether Earth or Kalquor wins, the Kalquorians are committed to sending you all home as soon as possible.”

  Marci clapped her hands. “Home to the convent? Will you be going back too?”

  Katherine met Sister Cheryl’s eyes. Her gaze and those of the other nuns who were apparently still friendly to Katherine told her they knew what was at stake. They knew even if she could return to Europa or Earth, she would be executed. Katherine wondered if they knew they faced the same fates. She swallowed a lump in her throat.

  Keeping her tone even, Katherine said, “No, sweetheart. I can’t go back to the convent ever.”

  The joy drained out of the child’s face. However, tough little Marci didn’t cry. Instead, her jaw tightened and she said with absolute determination, “Then I don’t want to go back either. Can I stay with you?”

  Katherine smiled. She adored her girls, but if she could pick only two to keep, it would be this one and her sister.

  She told Marci, “I think you’ll probably go home to your grandmother, sweetheart.”

  Darci moved close to cling. “Grandma’s sick. She can’t take care of us anymore.”

  Marci added, “I love you, Sister. I want to stay with you.”

  Katherine blinked against the sting in her eyes. “I love you too. All of you. But it’s just not possible. You have families and lives on Earth. Your place is there.”

  Many of the girls looked morose over this news. In most cases, they had ended up on Europa due to parents who couldn’t be bothered with their care, like Brenda’s. Or they had been cloistered because family couldn’t physically mind them, like Darci and Marci’s grandmother. Their worries for what the future held and that Katherine wouldn’t be there to soothe their fears was apparent.

  Katherine made herself smile though she could feel tears waiting to be spilled. “No sad faces, not when God loves us so much and we have our lives to be grateful for. Let’s all pray for Mother Superior, and then we can sing or play games. Okay?”

  They responded to her, as they always did. Little ones answered eagerly to love, and Katherine felt gratitude she could offer them some small relief from their worries.

  She sat down in a chair. Marci cuddled in her lap, as she often did. They all gathered close, seeking warmth and courage as Katherine led them in a prayer.

  * * * *

  Simdow knew Miv and Vadef had pulled extra shift hours the same as he. He couldn’t help but chuckle when he ran into the pair making their way down the corridor to where the convent younglings were being kept.

  “Some timing, huh?” Vadef grinned.

  “I hope Katherine hasn’t given up on us,” Miv grouched. “This preparation for invasion stuff is taking entirely too much of my time.”

  “We’re not even a part of the actual offensive.” Simdow sighed. “What I wouldn’t give to be on destroyer right now, ready to claim some of the glory for ending this war.”

  “You’ll get your chance,
my Dramok,” Miv smiled. “You are an excellent officer. I have no doubt the way you handled things when Captain Tranis was injured will result in a commendation and the post of your choice.”

  Simdow nodded, but he thought it might be a long time before he would get his chance to be part of a glorious battle as the first officer on a destroyer. The war would end within a matter of days one way or the other, and he’d have spent it all skulking about as part of a spyship crew.

  The trio reached the rec room. The two Nobeks acting as sentries snapped to attention at Simdow’s approach. In a shocking breach of command etiquette, one guard imperiously motioned to the first officer’s clan to be quiet.

  Getting a look into the room that housed the children and elders, Simdow at once understood his subordinate’s breaking of protocol. A number of small cots had been brought into the room, and bodies lay sleeping in the dimmed environs. All but Katherine, who sat in a chair, holding a tiny, dark-skinned child in her arms. Simdow recognized the youngling pixie’s face as the one who had challenged Miv. As Katherine quietly sang to her, the little girl’s eyelids slitted open every few seconds. It was as if the babe was too exhausted to keep herself awake, yet she couldn’t rest for assuring herself of Katherine’s continued presence.

  The guard who’d warned them to be silent leaned close to whisper to Simdow. “My apologies, Commander, but the littlest one had a nightmare. She is just now being soothed back to sleep.”

  Simdow nodded. “Thank you for warning us.”

  Miv smiled as he watched Katherine rock the child. “That’s my little warrior sister,” he told the others, as proud as if the babe had been his actual blood.

  Vadef smirked. “Even warriors need comfort now and again.”

  Miv pulled a face at the Imdiko, who only grinned bigger. Simdow had to fight to keep from laughing out loud at the pair.

  He looked at Katherine again, who had not yet noted their arrival. Her pale face was like a beacon of illumination in the darkened room, seeming to have been lit from some internal source. Her expression was tender with love so absolute it made something in Simdow’s chest and stomach ache.

  His Matara looked perfect tending the little girl who had finally succumbed to sleep. And that look on her face … had he ever seen anyone look so adoringly at another person?

  I’m taking her away from this. From these little ones she’s devoted to.

  Guilt filled Simdow. Katherine had much to give. These children, sent away by their families for whatever reasons, needed that love she offered without hesitation. Simdow knew that kind of need. He’d been sent away by his own fathers at a young age to face the world alone. A kind clan had been his saving grace when they accepted him into their lives as an informally adopted son. He’d gotten the love he needed from their childless Matara who had treated him as the boy she’d not been able to carry.

  He was taking that kind of support from these children, these who had been cast aside as he had been. Simdow’s heart cried out against it.

  What could he do? He had his orders. He had clanned Katherine, and clanning was for life. Even if that hadn’t been a factor, Simdow was well aware he needed and loved her as the children did.

  Simdow had not realized the depth of his feelings for Katherine until this moment. He’d known he loved her, but he hadn’t realized how intense the adoration had become. Not until he’d seen her with that same devotion on her face centered on a needful child.

  Simdow’s heart filled even as it broke. Katherine was his, and there was no giving her back even if he could bear to let her go. Yet shame overcame him, shame that he had stolen her from those whose wants exceeded his own. And what of Katherine herself, who would have to leave the babes behind, knowing how hard their lives would become without her care?

  I have to make this right. I have to figure out something that will fix this somehow.

  For the life of him, Simdow could not see how it would be possible.

  Chapter 13

  Leaving the children and nuns under the watchful eyes of the Kalquorian guards, Katherine returned to the quarters her clan had claimed. Vadef immediately began rooting through the tiny kitchenette’s food options, frowning over the contents of the pantry and cooling unit. Packages of chicken, beef, pasta, fruit, and chopped vegetables left him looking helpless.

  Katherine laughed gently at his inability to discern what to do with Earther food. “Let me,” she offered. “I’m no master chef, but I don’t burn water either.”

  She prepared a meal of skillet beef stroganoff, delighted to find all the ingredients she needed to make the dish. Fortunately the quarters’ rightful occupant had apparently preferred eating in rather than frequenting the mess hall. There were even a few beers in the cooling unit, which she gave to her clanmates to try.

  “Not as much alcohol as you might like,” she teased, thinking of their story of Miv’s homemade spirits. “But at least you won’t be impaired and get in trouble with Commander Lidon.”

  “Thank the ancestors,” Miv muttered. “I’m glad I’ve never had to meet that man in the fighting circle.”

  Katherine cooked twice as much as an Earther-sized foursome might eat, and the men easily polished off the meal. That left her to hunt up some pre-baked cookies to satisfy their appetites. They praised her cooking as if they’d dined at the finest restaurant.

  “Enough,” she blushed. “It wasn’t anything special at all. I’ll make a huge pot of spaghetti tomorrow. I’ve never seen people eat so much at one sitting.”

  “How was your day with the little ones?” Vadef asked.

  “Oh, we had so much fun,” Katherine enthused. She filled them in about her day of telling stories and playing games. She also shared the outcome of the competition to make their Nobek guards break into smiles. It turned out Marci had been particularly good at that.

  “It’s not that she’s particularly funny,” Katherine giggled. “She’s just so cute. I don’t think a Tragoom could resist her. She asked about you, Miv. She wanted me to tell her big warrior brother hello.”

  “She is an exceptional child,” the Nobek grinned. He seemed quite delighted Marci had inquired about his welfare.

  Katherine knew the men probably didn’t find stories of how she’d spent the day with the little ones particularly interesting, but Vadef and Miv encouraged her to tell them all about it anyway. Only Simdow was quiet, though he watched her with an intensity that made Katherine wonder what was on his mind. She thought she detected sadness in his expression as she talked.

  Finally she asked the Dramok, “Did you have a bad day?”

  He shook his head, finally letting a smile creep out. “Not really. Our mission is proceeding well. Captain Tranis is putting in for me to get a commendation for how I handled things while he was too injured to command.”

  Miv and Vadef responded to this news with cries of delight and thumping Simdow’s chest with their fists. Katherine joined in on the congratulations, though she decided not to pound on him the way the other two did.

  He grinned for real at last, though he tried to shrug it off. “I did my job. It’s not really a big deal.”

  Miv snorted. “Captain Tranis does not go around handing out commendations for people simply meeting the requirements of their jobs. You have to impress him.”

  Simdow’s eyes met Katherine’s. “I’ll tell you what impressed me today; seeing our Matara with the children. I can understand why they adore you so much.”

  “It was a beautiful sight,” Vadef agreed.

  She smiled. “They can’t possibly love me as much as I love them. They are so wonderful.”

  Simdow drew a deep breath, and the sadness returned to his expression. “You will miss them too much when we go. You should have children of your own.”

  Katherine blinked at the abrupt turn of conversation. “I feel like these little ones are mine. They do have rightful parents, though. Sometimes I have to remind myself of that.”

  Her heart weighted wit
h grief. She did feel the girls were part of her, as much as if she’d given birth to them herself. Katherine had known that someday she’d have to give them up. After all, girls on Europa had reached adulthood before and left. They’d commed from time to time, letting Katherine know they were all right and how their lives were developing once back on Earth. Still, her impending move to Kalquor made the coming separation so much more final than before.

  Simdow brushed a strand of hair back from her face. He looked as grave as she felt. “I know they are precious, and a hundred more children would not replace any one of them.” He offered her a conciliatory smile. “You can’t have one hundred babes, but we would give you as many children as you want, my love.”

  Miv blew out a breath. “Hopefully mostly Mataras, Dramoks, and Imdikos.” At Katherine’s questioning look, he explained, “After a certain age, Nobeks have to be sent away to learn to rein in their more violent urges.”

  Katherine stared at him. “Sent away?”

  Simdow nodded. “To training camps. It’s much like how your younglings were sent to the convent for their future good.”

  Katherine frowned. Send her children off to be raised by others? She found it unthinkable. “I’m not sure I like that option.”

  Miv snorted. “It’s not an option so much as a requirement. If you knew how destructive my breed is from childhood through puberty, you would understand. It really is for the good of everyone that Nobeks are taken in hand in such a way. Our caretakers are well-versed in keeping us under control and training us to be fit for society rather than savage animals.”

  “But – but to be taken from your mother and fathers! How can anyone stand that?”

  Miv smiled and patted her hand comfortingly. “I won’t deny it’s difficult. I went wild my first few days in the camp, attacking anyone and anything in my path and insisting they let me go home. As their firstborn, having to let me go devastated my parents even while knowing they could not control my rages.”