Sister Katherine

by Tracy St. John

  “I couldn’t give up my children. I’d find a way,” Katherine insisted.

  “You’ve never seen a Nobek child’s savagery,” Miv told her. “We possess no ability to think of long-term consequences of our actions. With a determination to get what we want when we want it by any means possible, younglings of my breed are even dangerous to adults who don’t know how to direct our energies. We require constant supervision and concentrated vigilance by teams of guardians.”

  Katherine tried to wrap her mind around what he told her. He’d apparently been through it himself. Far from arguing against the practice, Miv wholeheartedly advocated it.

  “How often did you get to see your parents after you were sent off?” she asked.

  “After about a month of training to control the worst of my temper, we visited back and forth every couple of weeks.” He smiled encouragingly. “There are many visits and holidays. It’s not like Nobeks are shut away, never to be seen again. Family is still a big part of a young Nobek’s life. In fact, a certain number of visits a year are compulsory.”

  Katherine relaxed somewhat. “Well, that’s a little better. Some of my girls can go for over a year or more without family visits. It’s awful. If you saw how they cry—”

  She stopped talking. She’d seen far too much hurt from the girls cast aside for one reason or another, forced to live the colorless lives of work and prayer at the convent. Fourteen-year-old Brenda in particular had her heart broken on a regular basis as her parents continuously put off seeing her. They assuaged guilty consciences by sending gifts from the many places they visited. Katherine had gone into more than one private rage over hearing the latest vacation Brenda’s mother and father had taken rather than spending time with a very lonely daughter.

  Thinking about how one of her girls suffered unjustly from parental apathy made Katherine’s throat tight and her eyes prickle with unshed tears. Discerning her upset, Simdow scooped her in his arms and sat her in his lap to cuddle.

  He whispered in her ear, “Our children will be so lucky to have a mother like you. They will always know how much they mean to you.”

  There was something in his expression. Katherine saw the haunted look in his eyes and knew a dark knowledge lurked there. A terrible knowing.

  She said, “You’re not a Nobek. You weren’t sent away.”

  Simdow swallowed. “Actually, I was. My mother died giving birth to me, and my Nobek father never forgave me for it. He despises me to this day. My other fathers grew so concerned over how his attitude would affect me that they put me in a boarding school. I saw very little of them, less than how often a Nobek child sees his parents.”

  Katherine’s heart broke over the pain in his face. Her big, strong Dramok knew the exact same torment her little ones lived with. “Simdow, I am so sorry. No one deserves to be punished for what they couldn’t help.”

  He found a smile. “Fortunately, I had someone like you at my school. One of my instructors, an elder Dramok, took an interest in me. He brought me to his home for celebrations and holidays. His Matara was infertile, as so many are, and his clan kind of adopted me informally. I ended up with parents, though not the ones nature gave me.”

  “Did you ever fix things with your real parents? Your Nobek father?”

  Simdow shook his head. “When he looks at me, all he sees is the woman he loved and lost. He has never gotten past that, and nothing I have ever accomplished has warmed his heart towards me. If I visit my biological parent clan, it is with the understanding he and I don’t meet.”

  Miv said, “The clan that Simdow looks to, his former teacher’s clan, has treated him like a son. Just as you treat these children of Europa as if they were yours.”

  Simdow nodded. “I consider myself lucky to have found the parents of my heart. Your girls are also lucky.”

  Katherine thought she might be the fortunate one. She’d found a man who knew the very pain her little ones had gone through. He would never let it happen to his own children. Even if they did have Nobek sons who had to be sent away for schooling, they would know their parents loved them.

  The whole clan was a gift, she realized. Vadef had received more love and care than most and searched for a way to repay it. Miv understood loyalty to family and would defend his to the death. She couldn’t have found better men to spend her life with. To have children of her own with.

  She arched a brow at the three in warning. “I will want many, many sons and daughters. Many. And did I mention a large number of children are what I expect you to give me?”

  The men laughed. “Are you hinting at something, my Matara?” Vadef chuckled. “Because I’m not quite sure I’m getting what you mean.”

  Miv waggled his eyebrows at Katherine. He didn’t do silly very well, but Katherine laughed anyway at his attempt. “I vote we get in some practice in making those children.”

  Simdow added. “Lots of practice.”

  Katherine wrapped her arms around the Dramok’s neck. “Starting now.”

  “With no delay whatsoever.”

  Simdow’s kiss woke her body with a vengeance. The feeling of his tongue filling her mouth, stroking its softness, brought heat immediately. She moaned and writhed against him, wanting him to want her. Katherine was still too new at lovemaking to know exactly what would pleasure Simdow the most, but the feeling of him swelling against her hip let her know she was on the right track.

  Simdow broke the kiss and stared into her eyes. “What will you give me to make the first of these children, my Matara?”

  The darkness in his gaze warned her he might be asking for more than she knew. Yet Katherine trusted Simdow. She trusted all three men. With only the slightest quiver in her voice, she told him, “Anything. Everything.”

  “All right. Then we’ll start by you showing me everything.”

  Simdow nodded to his clanmates and the three men began undressing Katherine. Her slippers and the uniform were pulled from her body. They were careful, not rough at all, but they made her naked with a quickness that nearly made her resist.

  “Let’s clear this table,” Simdow said when they had her shivering on his lively lap. “I want her on it.”

  Vadef and Miv cleared the dishes in record time. Katherine noticed their expressions had become as avid as Simdow’s. Even her Imdiko had a somewhat menacing cast to his usually gentle demeanor. Far from scaring her, as she thought it should have, it made the excitement in her gut churn harder.

  Simdow stood, lifting her from his lap and laying her softly on the table as soon as it had been emptied. Her knees hung over the small surface.

  “Hold her,” he said. “I want her open so I can see everything.”

  Vadef and Miv stood on either side of the table. The Nobek grasped one wrist and held it against the hard, flat surface. Using the other arm, he scooped Katherine’s leg and held it to his torso. Vadef copied the pose from his side.

  They made her defenseless and open, just as Simdow had commanded. Flagrantly open. Utterly revealed. Katherine gasped at the blatant way they exposed her. She couldn’t help but struggle, desperate to cover herself.

  “My Matara, what are you doing?” Simdow asked. His tone was soft, but his eyes on her were steely.

  “It’s too much, Simdow,” she said. “I can’t – I can’t be like this.”

  “But you can. Your husbands wish it of you.”

  “Please, Simdow.”

  “I want to look at you. All of you. Why would you deny me that?”

  Katherine opened her mouth to reply and discovered she had no response. Her mind searched frantically for a reason why they had to let her go so she could conceal herself. It came up with nothing but one weak answer.

  “I’m uncomfortable this way,” she whimpered. “I feel too exposed.”

  “Are Vadef and Miv hurting you holding you like that?” Simdow asked. His voice remained gentle and utterly reasonable.

  “They – no, not physically.” Tears sprang to Katherine’s eye
s. “It’s just that I’m so naked.”

  Simdow smiled. “You are naked. Completely naked. And beautiful. I want to look at you this way. I want to take all your beauty in.”

  “I can’t.” A tear slid from the corner of Katherine’s eye, losing itself in her hair. “I’ve been told for too long what a sin it is. I’m scared.”

  Simdow reached to rub the tear track away with a calloused thumb. “I know you are. It’s something I’m going to push you past, my love. You’re going to have to be frightened and uncomfortable, but I insist that you do this for you as well as for me.”

  “Simdow—”

  “Hush.” His tone brooked no further argument, surprising Katherine into silence. “I will be firm but not cruel to you, my Matara, though you might debate me on that. You cannot hide yourself from me. We have our entire lives to spend together, so openness is required in everything.”

  Simdow leaned over her, his still clothed body making contact with hers. Despite her anxieties, Katherine softened under his kiss. His lips played over hers, his tongue tasting her with delicacy. In contradiction to the exquisite near daintiness of the kiss, violent passion surged through Katherine. She jerked against the warmth of the strong frame covering her.

  Simdow rose up to look at her. His fingers stroked through her hair, and he lifted a handful of curls to examine the golden tresses. He put the soft tendrils against his face, inhaling and rubbing his cheek against them with a smile of pleasure.

  Next, he rubbed his thumb lightly over her forehead, tracing the light worry line that moved across it. His lips brushed along the length of that, as if he would kiss away the events that had placed the crease there.

  The Dramok examined Katherine’s face minutely, memorizing each detail. The intensity of his gaze when it found her eyes made her close them.

  “No, Katherine. Look at me.”

  The command in his voice gave her no escape. She squirmed but obeyed, feeling just as exposed with him looking into her eyes as with all the secrets of her body disclosed.

  Simdow stared for some time, forcing her to endure the probing look. Katherine felt as if he could read her every thought. She discovered that being naked wasn’t something that could happen with just her body. It was as if she lay bare to the soul itself. She almost wished he would do something to hurt her instead. Pain was more easily borne than this profound contact of the eyes.

  After what was probably no more than two minutes but felt more like two centuries, Simdow smiled and kissed her lips. “Good girl,” he praised. “That was difficult for you, but you won through. I am pleased.”

  Tension fled Katherine’s body, to be replaced by a glow of happiness at his approval. She didn’t question the sense of accomplishment, not when Simdow acknowledged her success at what on the surface would seem a simple thing to do. All that mattered was his proud smile.

  He continued to examine her. Having his eyes on her throat, shoulders, and upper chest didn’t concern Katherine. She shivered at his kiss on the hollow of her throat, delighting in the chills it gave her. The scratchiness of his tongue traversing the length of her collarbones excited her too.

  Simdow moved down to her breasts, and she flushed with renewed embarrassment to have something so personal available for his scrutiny. Yet it wasn’t nearly as uncomfortable as when he’d stared into her eyes. Katherine frowned at herself. How could that be so?

  The discomfiture lessened even more as Simdow touched her breasts. He cupped his large hands around them, as if to test their weight against each other. His touch was incredibly warm and the heat sank into her flesh, burrowing deep into the mounds. It somehow traveled downward from there, pooling in the well of her belly.

  The Dramok squeezed slowly, his gaze rising to her face as he did so. The simmer in her guts rose in temperature as the demanding touch tightened. When his grip made her flesh ache, Katherine caught her breath. A little whimper escaped, and Simdow held that tension, neither loosening nor clutching harder.

  “Does it hurt?” he asked her.

  “A little.”

  “Do you want me to stop?”

  Katherine thought about that. She was completely under his control, unable to defend herself in any way. Simdow could hurt her if he chose to. Katherine didn’t mind pain. She dealt it to herself through scourging, enjoying the release it gave her. The endorphins that rose to combat the pain made her feel floaty and serene. The tiny discomfort Simdow offered now went beyond that. It made the lava bubbling in her guts roil all the more. The question was, how far might Simdow go?

  The more important consideration was that telling him to stop might make him think she didn’t trust him. Katherine felt sure she did. The only way to prove that to herself and Simdow was to abdicate all control. To completely surrender herself to him.

  Katherine held his gaze. “I want you to do whatever you think is best and will make you happy with me.”

  One eyebrow lifted. “I might test you on that, my Matara. Dramoks as a rule like to master their sexual partners. They like their command over the others proven.”

  Her heart skipped a beat at his words. The sensation of boiling within her stomach increased, bubbling over until her juices spilled out of her sex. A throb of purest want stole any resistance from her consciousness.

  “I am yours,” Katherine whispered to Simdow.

  His grip on her breasts tightened, his fingertips dimpling deep into the giving flesh. The smarting gave way to distress, and Katherine moaned. Even as she suffered her back arched, offering the alabaster mounds for his punishment. Moisture surged from her womanhood, confirming her delight at being Simdow’s for the taking.

  Anguish pulsed from her breasts before Katherine uttered a cry of real pain. Simdow immediately stopped, easing off just enough for the throbbing to return to a more delightful level. Katherine panted, awash in exhilaration. It hurt and felt so right at the same time. She couldn’t have explained why even if Simdow had demanded to know in that new commanding voice.

  “Look at you,” he whispered, his smile deliciously wicked. “Eyes dilated and glazed, your cries filled with pain and pleasure all at once. My Matara, I knew you were a gift. I did not realize how much of one until just now.”

  She whimpered in disappointment when his grasping hands eased their exacting demands. Simdow stroked the aching orbs then traced the line where they met with her ribcage. He also sketched the reddened outlines of his handprints on her flesh. Katherine shuddered with delight.

  “It makes me wonder about your practice of scourging,” Simdow mused. “You do seem to enjoy pain for pain’s sake.”

  “I thought about that before now.” Miv’s voice brought Katherine partway out of her haze. He and Vadef had been so quiet while Simdow played with her that they’d faded to the background.

  Simdow considered his clanmate. “What have you been thinking?”

  “Katherine is dedicated to the belief that her god is all-loving and forgiving. In that light, it makes no sense to me that she should take such drastic steps to expunge her sins as self-flogging. I think she does it for the pure enjoyment.”

  Simdow tilted his head as he looked at Katherine. “My Matara, is there any truth to Miv’s suspicions?”

  Katherine swallowed. Would they think her mad for her need for pain? She attempted to fudge the truth.

  “Just because God forgives all does not mean I shouldn’t be punished for my sins.”

  “You should also be punished for not being forthright with your Dramok,” Simdow said. The severity in his tone made Katherine wince. Not because he frightened her, but because she’d disappointed him.

  He prodded her. “Try answering my question again.”

  She shrank into herself, but it never occurred to her to not give him the truth this time. It was the humiliation of admitting what was truly in her head that made her cringe. “I like the pain. It takes me out of my head. I think it’s the endorphin kick. It’s like when you bite me, but not as powerful.�
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  “There is nothing wrong with that.”

  Katherine checked his expression. Simdow had made his statement matter-of-factly, and displayed none of the disgust she’d expected to see. “You really think so? I’ve never heard of anyone enjoying pain before.”

  “Many do. All three of us do, to differing extents.”

  Miv chuckled. “I don’t know of any Nobek who doesn’t like pain. We feed on it. It sharpens our minds, makes everything more focused. We have a saying in fact, a mantra we repeat when we are in torment: ‘Pain is my friend. Pain gives me a challenge to show I have overcome and will continue to do so. I worship my pain, and I invite it to give me strength.’”

  Vadef grinned at him. “No wonder your opponents in the fighting circle never submitted. You had to knock or choke them unconscious.”

  “Pain is no excuse for surrender.” Miv returned the grin.

  Simdow kept his attention on Katherine. “You see? Our reasons for liking pain may not all exactly match, but they are all valid.”

  “I thought you’d believe me crazy for wanting hurt.”

  Simdow shook his head. “Not at all. In fact, it will allow me to test your surrender all the more, and I like that.”

  Katherine’s eyes widened, and her sex spasmed in excited reaction to his words. More than ever, she felt how Miv and Vadef held her helpless for Simdow.

  He nodded, as if guessing her thoughts. His fingertips swirled around her areolas, making the peaks stiffen. Watching her with those searching eyes, Simdow captured the taut nubs in the pincers of his grip. He squeezed slowly, letting the pressure build to an ache and then pain. Katherine gasped as the initial sting turned to a scorching flash that drove straight to her clitoris. It made her insides seethe. Her cry rang out, and Simdow eased the grip.

  Katherine moaned that he had stopped. She was beginning to find that strangely quiet place that torment always drove her to. More than that, the sweet rhapsody of bliss was joined by carnal provocation.

  “More, my Matara?” Simdow asked.

  “Please. Please, my Dramok,” Katherine gasped. “Much more.”