Searching for Tomorrow (Tomorrows)

by Kathryn McNeill Crane

  “Liam, are you okay? Talk to me.” Don’t panic, Wrynn. He heard the message and he’s upset. You’ve got to help him calm down and talk about her.

  He doesn’t move a muscle outside of his trembling hands. He just stares at the answering machine.

  “Liam, Bubby, you’re scaring me. Come on in the kitchen and have a seat before you fall down. I know it hurts to hear her voice, but please let me explain what I know.”

  The girls choose that exact moment to make their grand entrance. They giggle and prance, and Maggie exclaims, “De pwince is here. Pwince Unka Liam is here.”

  It breaks my heart to have to put a halt to their play, but by the look on Liam’s face, now just isn’t the time. I lead the girls to the playroom and tell them that Uncle Liam is feeling sick. They readily agree to set up a tea party just in case Prince Uncle Liam feels up to joining them in a little bit. As I walk back to the kitchen, I notice that the front door is cracked open, and Liam is no longer leaning against the wall. When I hear the rumble of Tripp’s old truck, I know that Liam has run away, just as he did once before.

  Chapter Ten

  Past

  After the events of 9/11, Tripp had made a few phone calls to find out what he needed to do to enlist in the Army. Since our school administered the ASVAB (Armed Services Vocational Assessment Battery) at the end of our junior year, he wouldn’t have to worry about taking that test again. He had already spoken with Papa and Dad, and had decided to enlist in Infantry. He wasn’t sure where that would take him, and we were both anxious to learn as much as possible. Neither of us knew what to expect at the recruiting office, either, but I guess we were getting ready to find out.

  “Are you sure you don’t want to just go to the post office and register for the Selective Service?” I smiled up at Tripp as he held the door open for me to go into the recruiting office.

  “Come on, now. You know I’ve made up my mind. I know this isn’t what you want, but this is what I need. I just wish you could get it through your head that I’m not leaving you.” Tripp’s voice showed a hint of anxiety, and I could tell that my whining was starting to get on his nerves a little.

  “You’re right. I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again.”

  Tripp chuckled at that. “Uhm, Wrynn, not true, so don’t even say it. I have a feeling that I am going to be hearing about this, daily, for the next six months. We’ll just have to find something else for you to concentrate on.”

  We both stopped just inside the door and looked around. Plain was one word that could describe it. Utilitarian was another. The carpet was thin and old, the walls were a drab grey and needed a fresh coat of paint, and the furniture looked to be rejects from an old office building. That was not what I expected at all. For some reason, I had it in my head that the office would be pleasant. After all, if someone were willing to sign his life away, shouldn’t the place be brighter, more encouraging? It was obvious from the looks of this place that the government wasn’t spending much tax money here.

  Against the far wall were several dented filing cabinets, a printer that looked to be ancient, and three mismatched desks. Of the three, only one was occupied. As we stepped further into the room, a woman stood and greeted us.

  “Hi, I’m Staff Sergeant Plane. How can I help you today?” Tripp and I glanced at each other, and I shrugged my shoulders. I knew that I certainly had not expected a woman to greet us. I was definitely not a sexist by any means, but the concept of women in the military, except in the medical field, was still a little new to me. Having lived a fairly sheltered life, I had a hard time imagining myself in a uniform, but even more, I had no desire to do so.

  “I’m Channing Kennedy Tidwell, III. I believe we’ve spoken on the phone about my enlisting in the Army today. When I was in here last month, I spoke to a Staff Sergeant Markum, and he started a file on me.” Tripp spoke the words in a rare solemn voice. He obviously understood the magnitude of the commitment he intended to make.

  Staff Sergeant Plane stepped from behind her desk while giving me a strange look. I could only imagine the sight she saw. I was sure that my eyes were swollen, my nose red, and my cheeks puffy from all the tears I had shed. Her uniform gave her an intimidating air, and I couldn’t help but shrink back against Tripp. Her royal blue dress pants had a gold stripe that covered the length, and the crease ironed so neatly that it seemed to stand at attention. Where I had expected her to wear some sort of boot, her shoes were actually a basic black laced loafer with a shine so bright that I could probably see my reflection if I were to get close enough to the daunting woman. Her long-sleeved white shirt was as crisp as the pants, with a strange little pleat pressed vertically through the front pockets. Her accessories, if one in the Army would even call them that, were an ordinary black tie and belt with a brass buckle.

  As she walked towards us, I couldn’t help but notice the air of self-confidence that she gave off, and I could tell by looking at her that she was very proud of her job and her service to our country. Based on the number of small ribbons and pins on her left pocket, she was obviously good at her job. I had no idea what the medals were for, but I had a feeling that I would be learning what each one stood for, sooner rather than later.

  She held her hand out, first to shake Tripp’s, and then she turned and extended it to me. As I shook her hand, she said, “I understand where you are with all of this. I know it’s hard to think about him leaving, but I’ll tell you right now, there are only a few places that he will go that you can’t follow. With Army families stationed around the world, they will become your family and support because they understand exactly what is happening. Instead of worrying about him leaving, be excited about going with him, seeing new places, and meeting new people.”

  She gave my hand an extra squeeze, almost as if to reassure me that Tripp was making the right decision. Walking over to one of the other desks, she said, “Let’s see if we can locate your file and see what all we need to get done today. I know that you’ve brought several forms in already, so we just need to find out what is missing.”

  When she found the file, she told us to have a seat in front of her desk and began sorting through the papers. “I see you’ve taken the ASVAB, and you scored pretty high. Congratulations on that. It will open more opportunities for you down the line. Ah, a current physical. That’s great. It says here that you play football and baseball. The discipline you’ve learned with those and the physical strength you’ve gained will help you. I won’t say that Basic Training will be easier for you, but in the past, athletes have shown to have better endurance than others because of the way you practice and work out. There are just a few more things I need to get from you today.”

  If I were honest with myself, I started to tune the conversation out completely. It’s not as if I could contribute to the technical parts anyway. I gave Tripp a nod, stood from my seat, and wandered over to the posters hanging on the wall. I didn’t even try to pretend that I understood what was happening, but maybe if I made an effort, I could bring myself to support the man I loved and possibly learn a little in the process.

  The poster of Uncle Sam brought a small smile to my face. Very little about him had changed over the years. His presence there was almost comforting. The photo of the soldier in camouflage was what truly caught my attention. His head was high and his posture was straight, and as I stared into his eyes, I could see him as my Tripp. I could imagine him dressed in the grey patterned uniform, pride beaming in his eyes as he held his body firmly at attention. I felt pride well up inside me, and realized that if nothing else, he would be a mighty fine specimen for my eyes to behold.

  The next picture showed a young man in a dress uniform. Like Staff Sergeant Plane’s, this one was meticulously pressed and creased. It dawned on me that I would soon see Tripp in something very similar to this. I hope he doesn’t expect me to be able to iron that good. Oh Lord, what if I scorch it? Hmmm, I wonder if the Army will teach him how to do that, and then he can teach m
e. I almost giggled at the path my thoughts were taking. My thoughts had drifted to taking care of him, making sure his clothes were ready for the day. He had always taken such good care of me, and I hoped that I could do the same for him. The next several months would be hard, but knowing that he would still be there to help me through it made it much more bearable.

  I stopped to check out the other posters in the office, and I could place Tripp in each one. My fears, though at times irrational, were not altogether unfounded. War happened. Soldiers were wounded, or worse, killed. Families faced separation daily throughout the different branches of the military. Someone had to do that job, and the fact that Tripp would willingly volunteer to serve our country and face being away from me, let me know just how important it was to him.

  I was so lost in my thoughts that when a warm arm wrapped around my waist, it startled me and I jumped. I turned to face a beaming Tripp, pride stamped on his face. He gave me a quick kiss, picked me up, and spun me around in circles. As my feet touched the ground, he whispered, “It’s official, babe. I’m in the Army now.” Then he pulled me close to him and wrapped me tight in his protective embrace. Life would change for both of us soon, and we would have to make sure that we were prepared to face whatever tomorrow laid at our feet.

  As we walked out to the truck, I leaned into Tripp, drawing warmth and strength from him. I knew that I would need to support him in his dreams, and never once let him think that I wasn’t proud of the man he was becoming. I would need to bury my fears until I reached the point that I could handle them better. I needed to show him my love, not my concern or worry. I knew that I could do this, because loving him was easy.

  The deal was sealed. My Tripp would leave me for the Army not long after we graduated. I was bound and determined to make the very best of our last six months together. After all, when he left, there was no guarantee that he would be coming back again. While I never once doubted his love for me, I also knew that neither of us had spent much time apart for the last ten years. Would he find something he liked better in his travels outside of our little town? Other than my family, he really had nothing to hold him to Highlands. And after all these years of knowing without doubt that he was the one for me, I didn’t want or need to be worrying about these things. I could only pray that I was strong enough to be the person Tripp needed me to be. Please God, don’t let my doubts and insecurities ruin our last six months together.

  After finishing his business at the recruiting office, Tripp decided that he needed to get some food in me. We stopped in Franklin at Vito’s Pizza because Tripp knew just how much I loved their white pie with vegetables. It started out fairly somber with each of our thoughts going in a million directions. He tried to keep the conversation light and definitely off that subject. Even though I didn’t really feel like eating, I chose not to argue when Tripp put a small piece on my plate. When I picked up the slice and took a small bite, the flavors exploded in my mouth and reminded me that even though Tripp had fixed us a plate, after just one bite, I hadn’t finished breakfast.

  “’Is is goo’ bu’ ho’.” I tried to speak, but the hot cheese burned the roof of my mouth and no matter how many times I tried to bite through it, I still managed to string it on my chin. I grabbed my napkin to wipe it away, but Tripp beat me to it.

  He put his hands on my cheeks and used his thumbs to wipe the stray cheese away. “Baby, this pizza is a symbol of my undying love for you.” That stinker grinned at me, and I knew he recognized the confused look on my face.

  “Okay, this is gonna be good, isn’t it? Just how is pizza a symbol of your undying love for me?” At this point, I was desperately willing to grab on to just about anything.

  Tripp puffed up his chest and flexed the muscles in his arm. “Seriously? It’s veggies, babe. How many teenage studs would sacrifice meat on a pizza for a girl? See, that right there? True love.”

  “Sweetie, that is soooo cheesy. Get it? Cheesy?” I let out a quick laugh. “I crack myself up.” I covered his hands with my own and turned my head so that I could place a small kiss on his palm. “But thanks. I know exactly what you’re doing, and it’s working.” That boy knew me like the back of his hand. Silly, corny jokes got me every time, so what better way to improve my mood?

  Tripp rolled his eyes at my attempt to be funny. Between the two of us, he was definitely the comedian. His sense of humor was one of the many things that I loved about him, and he was always able to put a smile on my face. Tripp snuck a glance at his watch. “Come on, we need to eat and get out of here. It’s already half past noon. I’ve got plans for today, and trust me when I say that you don’t want to miss this.”

  I squealed. I absolutely loved surprises, and Tripp’s were the best. Of course, his normally included chocolate and you couldn’t go wrong giving this girl that. I finished my slice of pizza in record time, and before I knew it, we were in the truck making the drive back towards Highlands.

  Highlands is smack dab in the middle of nowhere, so if you planned to do anything other than just hang out, you had to drive somewhere else to do it. In traveling on all of our different adventures, we had shared some great times, lots of laughs, and plenty of moving conversations in the front seat of this truck. One of the great things about my relationship with Tripp was that he and I could talk openly and honestly about anything. We didn’t keep secrets between us. Something had been bothering me about Liam, and now was the perfect time to ask questions. I hadn’t broached the subject with him, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he had said anything to Tripp about it. Since Liam didn’t come with us, I decided to ask if my brother had confided in him.

  “Has Liam said anything to you about the new girl?” A couple of weeks ago, we got a new classmate in school. Her name was Lara Feldstein, and she was a knock out. She stood somewhere around six feet tall, and I swear I felt like a midget when I was around her. Something about her drew me in though. She was very reserved, and although the dark circles around her eyes made her appear to be exhausted, her sweet spirit and friendly nature made me want to know her better.

  A couple of days ago, the guys and I were walking down the hall at school, and we overheard one of the jocks teasing her about being an Amazon woman. Liam’s reaction was almost comical. With fire flashing in his eyes, he cornered that dude so fast that it made me feel dizzy. It seemed that someone had finally captured my brother’s attention. Of course, that only made me want to know more about her.

  “Well, he hasn’t said much other than he thinks that she’s beautiful. There’s something going on there, but he can’t quite figure it out. I’m sure that Liam will open up about it as soon as he does. I will say that I think it’s great that he’s found someone who interests him.”

  I agreed, of course. I would love for Liam to find someone to love. If he decided to pursue this Lara, you’d better believe that I would quickly be learning more about her. No chick was going to jerk my brother around, and I wanted to make sure she was good enough for him.

  While I sat lost in my thoughts, we had made steady progress towards home. When Tripp pulled into the parking lot at Bryson’s, I couldn’t help but be a little confused. Bryson’s was the locally owned and operated grocery store. While the selection was nowhere close to what you would find at a larger store, the warm friendly atmosphere, immaculately clean and orderly aisles, and excellent customer service more than made up for anything it could have lacked. “Uhm, why are we stopping here? Did my mom need us to pick up something for her?”

  “Well, kinda. She’s ordered something for us from the deli, and we just need to make a quick stop to pick it up. Then we’re going to do a little hiking. You can change your shoes while I’m in the store. Everything you need is in the green bag. I’ll be right back.” With that, he closed the truck door and headed into the store.

  I turned around and leaned over into the backseat to grab my bag, and what I saw confused me. Not only was my green one back there, but also my blue sack, Tripp’s black du
ffel and two garment bags. Now my curiosity was really piqued. My love of surprises was the only thing that kept me from looking to see what was in them. I knew that Tripp would let me know when he was ready. I grabbed the green one and turned back around, in a hurry to see just what his plans were.

  When I opened it, the first thing I noticed was the smell of Tripp’s cologne. Lying there on top was his favorite Highlanders sweatshirt. Yeah, I had my own sweatshirts, but there was just something warm and comforting about wearing one of Tripp’s. He was always sending Liam or my mom into my room to nab back my latest acquisitions. Seriously, though, I thought it gave him a little thrill to see me wearing his tees and sweats. I was pretty sure he enjoyed smelling my fragrance on his clothes as much as I enjoyed his scent on them. With a huge grin on my face, I slipped the sweatshirt on over my head. As I was hugging it to my body, Tripp startled me when he opened his door to get back in the truck.

  “I see that grin. I figured you might want to wear a piece of me today.” That smug look of satisfaction on his face, man, that was hot.

  I crooked my finger and gave him a little ‘come hither’ look, and before I could blink, he had pulled me across the seat, into his arms, and his lips were on mine in record time. Now, don’t get me wrong. I always felt a thrill, no, more like a stampede of wild buffalo going through me, when he kissed me, but there was something different this time. I swear I could almost taste his excitement. He had this hyper energy going on and I was starting to feed off it.

  He pulled back from that kiss and his eyes were glowing. “Mmm, a man could really get used to that. That was better than meatloaf, chocolate cake, and Co’ Cola all in one. Lip. Smacking. Good.” Then he leaned in for one more.

  When he pulled away this time, nervous energy had him all but bouncing off the seat. He kind of reminded me of a little boy who had just unwrapped the Daisy Red Ryder BB Gun that he’d been begging Santa for, for years. His grin all but split his face wide open and, I had to admit, his excitement was contagious.