Secrets and Sacrifice: A Christian Romance (The Shadows Series Book 4)

by Juliette Duncan

  She found the nearest train station and ran into the toilets where she retched violently into the putrid bowl until nothing was left in her stomach. How long she remained there she had no idea. Finally, she cleaned herself up and made her way home.

  Aunt Hilda wasn’t in the kitchen. Strange, since she was always there. Grace breathed a sigh of relief and went straight to her room, closing the door behind her. Brianna lay on the bed, curled in a ball and sobbing. Her clothes were ripped and strewn over the edge of the bed and the floor.

  Grace’s heart pounded again. Throwing her bag down, she bent over Brianna, turning her over slowly. She peered into Bibi's eyes. “Bibi, what’s happened?” Grace could barely speak.

  Brianna’s sobs increased, and Grace gently pulled her up and hugged her until she settled. Grace had a feeling she knew what had happened. Uncle Dougall had finally had his way. Her blood boiled. She’d report the brute to the police. But when Brianna finally spoke, and whispered “the boys”, Grace could hardly believe it. She pulled Brianna closer and hugged her tighter.

  “Both of them?” Grace asked quietly.

  Brianna nodded.

  Grace’s chest heaved with anger. If only she’d come straight home from school, this wouldn’t have happened. “I’m going to report them.”

  Brianna shook her head. “No…please don’t.” Her voice was barely a whisper.

  “Why not, for heaven’s sake? They’ve raped you, Brianna!”

  A fresh round of sobs assailed her, and Grace pulled her close once more. “Well, I’m going to tell Aunt Hilda for a start.” Grace gently laid Brianna back on the bed and tucked a blanket around her. “I’ll come back and clean you up in a minute.”

  Grace left the room and strode into the kitchen. This time Aunt Hilda was there, and she had a smirk on her face. Grace's blood boiled. She strode straight up to her and stood over her. She was already a foot taller than her aunt. “Do you know what your boys have just done?” She didn’t recognise the voice coming out of her mouth, it was so determined and full of hate and anger.

  Aunt Hilda didn’t reply, but she held her ground and met Grace’s angry gaze.

  “Well, do you?” Grace stepped closer. “I’ll tell you what they’ve done. They’ve just raped Brianna, that’s what. And I’m off to report them.”

  Aunt Hilda laughed. “You do that, missy, and I’ll tell them who planted that bomb.”

  Grace sucked in a breath and stopped dead. She stared at Aunt Hilda. How did she know? Grace’s whole world crumbled. They couldn’t stay here a moment longer.

  She gave Aunt Hilda one final stare and then turned and fled.

  “Come on Bibi, we’ve got to get out of here.” She helped Brianna up, quickly cleaned her, and helped her dress.

  “What’s happened, Grace? Why do we need to go?” Brianna’s voice was weak and weary.

  “Trust me, you don’t want to know. We just need to get out of here.” Grace pulled a bag from under the bed and quickly threw in as much as she could. Changing out of her school uniform, she climbed into a pair of jeans and put on her thickest shirt and jacket. “Okay, let’s go.” As she pushed Brianna out the door, she glanced in the bin. A heavy weight landed in the pit of her stomach. The scrunched up piece of paper she'd tossed away in disgust wasn't there.

  She swallowed hard. It was too late. They snuck out the back door and into the narrow lane-way that ran behind the houses. Darkness had set in along with the chill of the night. Grace had no idea where they’d go. They just had to get as far away as possible. And quickly.

  Dogs barked as they passed behind each of the neighbouring houses. Grace wished they’d stop. Would Aunt Hilda come after them? Or worse still, would she send the boys? Grace’s heart was already thumping, but the thought of facing those two disgusting vile creatures made her blood boil. She dragged Brianna along with her until they reached the end of the lane. They headed the opposite way they’d normally go, and weaved in and out of the lanes running through the area until they reached the main road out of town. Grace put out her thumb and hoped they’d be picked up by someone quickly, praying that whoever picked them up wouldn’t take advantage of two young girls out on their own on a cold winter’s night.

  Brianna stirred, bringing Grace back to the present. Brianna rubbed her eyes as she pulled herself up onto her pillows.

  “Good morning, Bibi. Did you sleep okay?” Grace forced herself to sound normal.

  Brianna shrugged. “Same as usual.”

  “I know, Bibi.” And Grace did know. Neither of them had had a good night’s sleep since that fateful day. They were each tormented by their own demons, they’d just handled them in different ways. Grace became so obsessed with study she stayed up late each night cramming for her next exam. Brianna turned to drugs. But now Brianna had the opportunity for a fresh start, and Grace hoped she’d grasp it with both hands. For both their sakes.

  “I don’t want to do this, Grace.” Tears rolled down Brianna’s cheeks.

  Grace slipped out of bed and climbed in with Brianna, wrapping her arms around her like she used to do. “Give it a chance, Bibi, you’ve got nothing to lose.”

  As they lay in each other's arms, Grace tried to erase from her memory the horror of what she'd done, but it was no use. She knew she'd be tormented forever. It was her punishment.

  A short while later, once they’d woken again and freshened up, Grace and Brianna made their way down the hallway to the kitchen where the children's happy voices could be heard.

  Grace peeked in before entering. Dillon’s little face lit up as he caught sight of her. He hopped out of his chair and ran over to her, hugging her around the middle.

  “Steady on, Dillon,” Lizzy called out from her seat opposite James and Clare. “Give your auntie some space.”

  “It’s okay, Lizzy.” Grace smiled at her as she leaned down and hugged Dillon.

  Dillon grabbed Brianna’s hand, and walked between the two of them to the table. “You sit here, Auntie Grace, and you sit here, Auntie…” He glanced at Brianna before looking to his mother.

  “Brianna,” Lizzy said.

  Dillon turned his focus back to Brianna. “Bianna.”

  Everyone laughed. Dillon’s face dropped.

  Grace gently hugged the little boy. “It’s okay. Dillon. I call her ‘Bibi’. I’m sure she won’t mind if you call her that too.”

  “Auntie Bibi.” He flashed a charming smile at Brianna.

  Brianna’s lips lifted at the edges into a small smile. Even Brianna couldn't help but warm to this little boy.

  As Grace and Brianna took seats on either side of Dillon, Lizzy stood and collected the children’s dirty breakfast dishes and carried them to the sink. “What can I get you for breakfast? There’s cereal and toast, or I can cook eggs… whatever you like.”

  “Just toast and tea for me, thanks Lizzy,” Grace replied. She could never stomach breakfast. What she needed was a cigarette and a stiff drink.

  “Same for me, thanks,” Brianna added quickly.

  “Did you sleep well? I hope the beds were comfy.” Lizzy popped two pieces of bread into the toaster and turned on the kettle.

  Grace blew out a breath and smiled. “The bed was great, thanks. Took a while to get to sleep, but that’s normal.” So normal that I haven’t had a good night’s sleep since before that horrible day… Just as well she'd learned to survive on next to no sleep.

  “The mountain air should fix that pretty quickly.” Lizzy flashed her a quick smile as she grabbed the toast. Smoke drifted into the air and the smell of burnt toast reached Grace's nostrils. “Just as well I don’t do most of the cooking here.” Lizzy tossed the burned pieces into the bin and started again.

  After breakfast, Mia, the children’s nanny, came to take the children outside. “Come and play with us, Auntie Grace and Auntie Bibi,” Dillon called over his shoulder as Mia led them out the door.

  Grace laughed. “Maybe later, Dillon. Have fun!”

  Once on the
ir own, Lizzy poured herself another cup of tea and sat down, letting out a contented sigh.

  “They’re lovely kids, Lizzy.” Grace smiled warmly at her. She really meant it.

  “Thank you.” Lizzy returned Grace’s smile. “They can be hard work sometimes, but we love them to bits.” She took a sip of her tea and placed her cup on the table. “So, Brianna, are you ready to see your new quarters?”

  Brianna’s face paled. Grace squeezed her hand. “She’ll be fine, Lizzy." Grace turned her head and gave Brianna an encouraging smile. "Won’t you, Bibi?”

  Brianna’s shoulders slumped. Grace drew a slow breath. This was Brianna's last chance to start a new life. She had to take it. She narrowed her eyes at Brianna and pursed her lips. “She’s ready.”

  Chapter 16

  Brianna’s heart thudded as she walked between Grace and Lizzy along a gravel pathway leading to the students’ quarters in the huge stone mansion. Never in her wildest dreams had she imagined she’d be living in a place like this, but would she fit in? She doubted it. It was too nice a place for the likes of her. She was more at home in a gutter or a dingy apartment than a grand place like this.

  Lizzy directed them towards a side door made of heavy timber. The door stood open, and they followed Lizzy up a spiral staircase. Brianna paused half way to catch her breath.

  “Are you okay, Bibi?” Grace stopped behind her.

  Brianna nodded. She held one hand against her chest and took several deep breaths. A pleasant aroma wafted down and tickled her nose. She’d expected the mansion to smell like some of the buildings she’d lived in, dank and musty, but this smell was different… it was nice. She drew a deep breath and continued on.

  At the top of the staircase, a bunch of fresh flowers sat in a beautiful painted vase on a highly polished timber dresser. That's where the smell came from. Brianna's gaze turned to the area to the right of the staircase. A bookcase filled one wall, and an old piano another, but her attention was caught by the three over-sized couches covered with lap rugs and brightly coloured cushions, and the large coffee table sitting between them. A pile of magazines sat on one corner of the table, and on another corner, a pile of board games. Another smaller bunch of perfumed flowers sat in the middle, making it cosy and inviting.

  The couches faced a large open fireplace, and Brianna could imagine herself curled up on one of those comfy couches, flicking through a magazine in front of a roaring fire. There was something about this room, and a sense of serenity flowed through her. Three large, religious posters hung on the far wall. She didn't have many thoughts either way about religion, but she hadn't seen much good come out of it. Grace, on the other hand, never hesitated to tell anyone who'd listen that she didn't believe in a God who'd let the mother of eight young children die an untimely death. If pushed, Brianna tended to agree.

  “Ah, there you are.” The kindly lady from last night bustled towards them, reminding Brianna a little of that lady at the first place she and Grace stayed at on their trip, but this lady seemed much nicer. Before Brianna could remember her name, the lady held her arms out and drew Brianna to her ample chest. “Ah Brianna, lassie, so good to see you. I hope you slept well.” When she released Brianna, the smile on her face was as warm as her voice.

  “Yes, thank you.” Brianna’s voice quivered, and she struggled to say anything more than that, but she liked the lady even though she spoke funny. The lady then hugged Grace and Lizzy with just as much warmth as she'd hugged her.

  “How are you, Rosemary?” Lizzy returned the lady's smile. Rosemary. That's her name...

  “Oh, I’m fine, lassie. How are your wee bairns this morning?”

  “As active as ever, but they’re off with Mia for the day.”

  “And what a jolly lassie she is. But come, we need to show Brianna around.” Rosemary took Brianna’s hand and patted it while she talked. “As you can see, this is the female students' lounge area. There’s a television in the corner, but the reception’s bad and so it barely gets used. But don’t worry, lassie. The girls find they don’t miss it—there’s plenty of other things to do.

  “This hallway leads to the girls’ dormitory.” As Rosemary led the way, she continued chatting. “The kitchen and dining room are downstairs, but the classrooms are further along this hallway, in the front of the building. I’ll show them to you later.” Stopping in front of a closed door, Rosemary squeezed Brianna’s hand. “This is where you’ll be staying.” Her double chin wobbled. “There’s room for four girls, but there’s only three at the moment, including you."

  Brianna’s heart raced. What if they didn't like her?

  Grace's hand settled on her back and Brianna relaxed a little.

  As Rosemary opened the door, Brianna’s eyes widened. She’d expected to see double bunk beds, or at least a row of single beds close together, much like they’d grown up with, but instead, there were four separate areas, each with their own single bed, dresser and wardrobe. Each bed was covered with a soft, thick duvet, and more pillows than she’d know what to do with. On top of each dresser sat a lamp and more fresh flowers. The room was lovely. Tears flooded Brianna’s eyes. She hadn’t felt comfortable in Grace’s modern apartment, but here, in this warm, friendly room, maybe, just maybe, she might be happy.

  “This is your bed over here, Brianna.” Rosemary directed her to the area in the far left hand corner. Brianna gasped as she gazed out at the mountains that seemed so close she could almost reach out and touch them. She stepped closer to the window. In front of the mountain was a lake with row boats tied up to a wharf. This was a dream, surely. It couldn’t be happening to her. She pinched herself to make sure it was real.

  Grace stood behind her, placing her arm around Brianna’s shoulders. “It’s lovely, isn’t it, Bibi?”

  All Brianna could do was nod as more tears slipped down her cheeks.

  Rosemary handed her a tissue. “There, there, lassie. It has that effect on all of us.” She chuckled. “The other two lassies are eager to meet you. They’ll be back from morning duties shortly, but let’s have a cup of tea and a chat while we wait.”

  “I’ll leave you to it, Rosemary.” Lizzy leaned down and placed a kiss on Rosemary’s cheek before turning to Grace, arching an eyebrow towards the door. “Come with me?”

  Brianna’s eyes shot open. As much as she liked Rosemary, she didn't want to be left alone with her. She held her hand out to Grace and pleaded with her eyes for Grace to stay.

  Grace held Brianna’s gaze for a second, but then tore it away and looked at Lizzy. “Yes, I'll come with you.” She placed Brianna’s bag on the bed and then stepped closer to Brianna, brushing the tears off her cheek with her hand. “You’ll be fine, Bibi. I'll be back soon." She squeezed her hand, and then turned and left with Lizzy.

  Brianna crumpled. How could Grace just leave her like that? Tears stung her eyes again, and her bottom lip quivered.

  Rosemary closed the gap between them, drawing Brianna into a hug, and smoothing Brianna's hair with her hand. “You’ll be fine, lassie. The first day is always the hardest.” Her voice was soft and kind. Rosemary pulled a white, scented handkerchief out of her pocket and gave it to Brianna.

  Brianna sniffed, then blew her nose. She drew a steadying breath and lifted her head slowly to meet Rosemary's kind gaze. She managed a small, tentative smile. “Thank you.” Her voice was no more than a whisper.

  “You're more than welcome, lassie. Come now, leave your unpacking until later. Let’s go and have that cup of tea.”

  Rosemary guided Brianna into another room at the far end of the hallway, passing two more rooms along the way that Rosemary told her were the other girls’ rooms. “We have beds for twelve girls altogether, and this my office.”

  Brianna followed her into a room that looked more like a sitting room than an office. A small desk sat in one corner, but two comfy looking couches, positioned at right angles and both with a view of distant mountains, grabbed Brianna’s attention.

 
“Take a seat, Brianna. I’ll put the kettle on.” Rosemary opened a cupboard and pulled out a kettle, two large mugs and a tea pot. She placed three heaped teaspoons of tea leaves into the pot before joining Brianna on the opposite couch.

  “So, what do you know about the place, Brianna?" Rosemary gave her an easy smile as she perched on the edge of the couch.

  Brianna shrugged. “Not much."

  Rosemary chuckled. "Well, you're in for a treat." Her face expanded into a beaming grin. “There are so many things to do here. It’s a wonderful place to learn new skills. Most of the girls love the cooking lessons, and some prefer gardening to piano, but there are so many options, and you can try them all to start with and see what you prefer.”

  The kettle whistled and Rosemary bounced up and turned it off. She poured the steaming water into the teapot, and then placed a colourful tea cosy over it, just like Mam used to do. The sudden memory brought tears to Brianna's eyes. She rarely thought of Mam, but when she did, she always grew sad. She missed Mam so much. Why did she have to die? She brushed her tears away quickly with the handkerchief before Rosemary could see them.

  Rosemary poured two mugs of tea, placing them, along with a jug of milk and a sugar pot, on a small table between them. As she looked up, her expression changed. She sat beside Brianna, placing her arm around her shoulder. “What's wrong, lassie?” Her voice was gentle and soft.

  Tears returned to Brianna's eyes. She clenched her hands and tried to squeeze them back. She wasn't a cry baby. What was she doing? She sucked in a breath and gulped. “It's nothing."

  "Ach, lassie, if you don't want to talk, that's fine, but something's unsettling you, I can see it in your wee, bonnie face." Rosemary spoke in a gentle voice with a lilting Scottish burr, and as she brushed Brianna's face lightly with her warm fingertips, tears streamed down Brianna's face.

  Sniffing, Brianna lowered her eyes and balled the handkerchief in her hands. "Mam had a tea pot and cosy just like yours."

  “How old were you when she died?”