Secrets and Sacrifice: A Christian Romance (The Shadows Series Book 4)

by Juliette Duncan

Brianna sniffed again. “Ten.”

  Rosemary pulled her close and rocked her. “Poor wee lassie." Her voice was soothing, like the sound of a dove cooing to its young. “There’s no need to talk about it now, lassie, but when you're ready, I’m a good listener.”

  Brianna was tempted, but she wasn't ready. Straightening, she blew her nose and slowly lifted her eyes to Rosemary's. “Thank you.”

  "You're welcome, sweetheart. Would you like some shortbread? Handmade by the girls, and it's very good." Rosemary held the plate out to her.

  Brianna took a piece and nibbled it. Rosemary was right, it was really good.

  “Do you like cooking, Brianna?”

  Brianna blinked. “I've not done any, so I don't know."

  “Would you like to learn?”

  Brianna blinked again. “I’ve never thought about it, but maybe.”

  Rosemary smiled as she took a bite of shortbread and settled back further on the couch, balancing her cup and saucer with one hand. "I think you'll like it here, Brianna. It's a place where hurts from the past can be slowly healed. Daniel will give you a full run down on the programme this afternoon with the other new students." She glanced towards the door as two girls stopped in the doorway. One was thin and had shoulder-length brown hair and very narrow, arched eyebrows. The other girl had dark hair and pale skin, and a heart tattooed on her neck. Rosemary's face expanded into a beaming smile as she extended her hand to the two girls. “Come in, lassies, and meet your new room-mate."

  The two girls stepped into the room. Rosemary put her tea cup down and patted spots on either side of her on the couch. As the girls sat, Rosemary placed her arm around the thin girl on her left. “Brianna, this is Maggie. Maggie comes from London, and has been with us just under a week.”

  Maggie gave Brianna a half smile and fiddled nervously with her hands.

  Rosemary then placed her arm around the other girl, the dark-haired girl with the tattoo. “And this is Susan, and she comes from Glasgow. She’s been here just under a week as well.”

  “Hi-ya.” Susan sounded just like Rosemary, and her smile was warmer than Maggie’s.

  “Hi.” Brianna gave a small smile before lowering her eyes.

  “I’ve been telling Brianna a little about the place, and she’s seen your room, but hasn’t unpacked yet." She patted both their legs. "Why don't we head back there and I can leave you girls to help Brianna settle in before you meet with Daniel?” Rosemary smiled at them both, her double chin wobbling as she turned her head.

  The two girls agreed and they stood, waiting for Brianna to do the same.

  Brianna swallowed hard. She was just getting used to being with Rosemary, and now she was expected to spend time with girls she didn't know. She wasn't ready for this, but seemed she had no choice.

  “Where are you from, Brianna?” Susan asked in her Scottish burr as they walked along the hallway together.

  “Belfast.” It was all Brianna could manage.

  “You’re going to love it here. It’s such a cool place, and the people are great. Wait…” Susan turned and placed her hand on Brianna’s shoulder. “Daniel’s your brother, isn’t he?”

  Brianna's shoulders slumped. She didn't want to be known as the manager’s sister, but it seemed everyone knew already. She sighed. What did it matter? “Yes, but I hardly know him. Last time I saw him, I was ten.”

  "Really? Wow!"

  They reached the room before Susan could say more. Rosemary glanced at her watch as she stopped in front of them. “Okay girls, you’ve got half an hour before you need to meet Daniel down in the meeting room.” Turning to Brianna, Rosemary rubbed her arm. “Are you okay, lassie?” Her eyes were soft and warm as she met Brianna’s gaze.

  Brianna sucked in a breath. Was she okay? She really didn't know, but surprisingly, in the few short moments she’d spent with Susan and Maggie, something had clicked with Susan in particular, and for the first time in a long time, Brianna thought she might end up having a friend. She nodded, giving Rosemary the biggest smile she'd given anyone in a long time. “I think so.”

  “That’s grand, lassie." She pulled Brianna in for another hug before releasing her. "I’ll see you there soon. Have fun!" She turned and bustled down the hallway, leaving the girls alone with each other for the first time.

  Chapter 17

  For the next half hour, Susan and Maggie helped Brianna unpack and set up her area of the room. Brianna discovered that Susan had been trying to kick her drug habit for the last two years without success, and it was her mother who’d heard about the Elim Community and arranged for her to come. She’d been clean for three weeks, and was eager to be clean for the rest of her life. Maggie’s problem was different. She’d been brought up in foster care all her life, and didn’t seem to fit anywhere. A care worker from the local parish recommended the Elim Community to her. Brianna found herself opening up with the girls. She told them she’d been on drugs since she was sixteen, and that it was her sister who’d brought her here in the hope of getting her clean. She didn’t tell them about being raped or losing her baby. Some secrets were just too deep.

  “It’s time to go,” Susan said as she glanced at the clock beside the door. “We can help you finish later, Brianna.”

  The girls headed along the hallway and down another spiral staircase similar to the one Brianna had gone up earlier. Brianna had no idea where they went after that. The building was full of narrow hallways that twisted and turned and went up and down, but finally they arrived in a room that looked much like a classroom, except that the chairs were placed in a semi-circle and not straight rows. Daniel looked up as the girls entered.

  Brianna hung back, but Susan grabbed her hand and pulled her in. Brianna's heart raced again. What was she doing here? This was crazy. Brianna O’Connor in a classroom, with Daniel, her brother, as teacher? She shook her head and blinked. She must be dreaming. But no, Daniel strode over to her, and taking one of her hands, kissed her on the cheek. Her face grew warm. Why would he embarrass her in front of everyone like that?

  He smiled easily, and his eyes sparkled. “Brianna, great to see you.” She felt like hiding. He then turned to Susan and Maggie. “And good to see you both.” He gave them a warm smile but didn’t hug or kiss them. “The boys are on their way, but in the meantime, take a seat.”

  Just as they were sitting, two young men entered. Brianna’s eyes popped. Brayden McCafferty! What's he doing here? The boy all the girls crushed on in school… the boy everyone expected to go places, to be someone. She peered at him… yes, it's him, but he's different. His eyes were dull and lifeless, and his head hung low, but she would have known him anywhere. Every night in that horrid room Aunt Hilda had called their bedroom she'd dreamed about him as she and Grace huddled together to keep warm, but now he was in front of her, all she wanted to do was hide.

  “Boys, come on in.” Daniel waved Brayden and the other young man in and clapped both of them on the back.

  As Daniel introduced everyone, Brianna’s heart pounded. What if Brayden recognised her? What would happen then? But there was no recognition in his face. Brayden didn’t remember her. Brianna breathed a sigh of relief.

  Grace had said that their brother had a way with people. Brianna wasn’t sure what Grace had meant by that until now, but when Daniel stood in the front of the room, all eyes were on him. Even Brayden’s.

  He cleared his throat. “Well, good morning, everyone.” His eyes and voice were bright. “Most of you have been here for a few days already, and I hope you’ve started to settle in, but now you’re all here, it’s time to kick off properly. Welcome to Elim Community, a place of hope and new beginnings.” He paused and caught each student's eye as his gaze travelled around the room. “We’ve all messed up. You and me, both. I’ve been where you are today, and okay, I’m not perfect by a long shot, just ask my wife, but I can assure you that my life now is so much better than it was just a few years ago. What we have here in this community is a place where yo
u won’t be judged. You’ll be offered hope, love and understanding, and you’ll have the opportunity to learn skills that will help you live a more fulfilling life than you’ve ever dreamed possible.” Daniel took a mouthful of water, and pulling his chair closer to everyone, leaned forward.

  As Brianna listened to Daniel, she caught a little of his infectious enthusiasm. Her heart quickened. Maybe, just maybe, this place might hold the answers to questions she didn’t even know she was asking.

  Daniel angled his head. “What makes us different from other places you might have been to? For a start, you’re living in a beautiful mansion in the Scottish Highlands. That has to be different.” He chuckled. “But apart from that, being away from the city and your normal environment helps give a different perspective on life. How many of you have ever sat on the top of a mountain you’ve spent all morning climbing and gazed out into the distance in awe?” He waited, but no one claimed they had. In fact, they all shook their heads. “How many of you have rowed along a loch in the early morning when the water’s so still and glassy you can't tell where the loch ends and the mountains begin?" They all shook their heads again. “And how many of you have had someone you can talk to who’ll listen without judging or trying to tell you what to do?” His voice had an infinitely compassionate tone, and all eyes were fixed on him.

  “You’ve all come here because you’ve tried other places or programmes, but nothing so far has worked. You’re still struggling with your demons, whatever they are, and you've come here, possibly as a last resort." He smiled. "We don’t offer any guarantees, but we know that if you’re committed to turning your life around, it’s more than possible to do that here. We’re a Christian community, but we don’t force religion down your throat. We expect you to go to classes where you'll have the chance to find out what Christianity is all about, but then it’s up to you to make the decision. You won’t be judged either way. You’ll also meet with either David or Rosemary at least once a day to chat about how you're doing. They’re great people, and you’ll find them both easy to talk to." He took a sip of water. "Our programme also includes outdoor and indoor activities, such as hiking, rowing, abseiling, sailing, metal work, carpentry, gardening, cooking, piano lessons, painting… basically whatever you want to learn, you can learn here.

  “We also expect students to work for several hours a day to help cover their board. Apart from daily chores, we have several small businesses running, and you’ll be assigned on a roster basis to help out with each of them in turn.” Daniel paused, letting his gaze travel around the students again. “So, you’ll be kept busy, but what you get out of this place will depend on how much effort you put in. I have great hopes for all of you.” He smiled at them before glancing towards the door. “And now, here are David, Rosemary, Ryan and Emily. Let me introduce each of them properly."

  The four staff members briefly spoke as Daniel introduced them one at a time. When Rosemary stood and smiled at Brianna, warmth trickled through Brianna's body.

  “Okay, then,” Daniel said once the staff members had finished. “Lunch, and then you get to choose an activity. Ryan’s running a beginner abseiling class, and Emily's holding a cooking class. Shepherd’s Pie's on the menu, and I believe we'll be eating that for dinner.”

  Emily nodded.

  “And then after that, you’ll have some free time, and after dinner we’ll have our first class. Sound good?” Daniel glanced around the group as he stood.

  Everyone nodded, apart from Brayden.

  “What are you going to choose, Brianna?” Susan asked as they walked to the dining room together.

  That was a good question, but since she had no idea what abseiling was, there really wasn't an option. “Cooking.”

  Susan smiled broadly and linked her arm through Brianna's. “Me too.”

  Maggie walked ahead with Rosemary, and Brianna felt a pang of jealousy run through her.

  The afternoon passed, and Brianna enjoyed her first cooking class ever. Emily was a patient teacher, and Brianna was proud of the pie she’d made—she hoped everyone would like it. During her spare time, she finished unpacking and settled into her room.

  Later, sitting in the classroom and hearing Daniel talk about God and Jesus, it was like a switch flicked in her mind. Daniel said to forget all they’d heard and been taught about religion. Jesus had come to offer peace, hope and forgiveness, and all the fighting over religion just showed how many people had missed the true message. Over the coming weeks they’d be studying the Gospel of John, but any questions they had along the way would also be addressed. They all left with their very own copy of the New Testament.

  Brianna glanced at Brayden as the students shared supper after class. The other boys chatted together, but he barely said a word. What happened to you, Brayden McCafferty?

  Meanwhile, Grace spent the morning with Lizzy and helped with her jobs, all the while keeping a lookout for Ryan. Her pulse quickened when she caught a glimpse of him just before lunch as he jumped out of his truck and sprinted into what Lizzy told her was the meeting room.

  “I saw you looking at him, Grace.” Lizzy's face twisted in an amused grin, and her eyes sparkled.

  “No I wasn’t.” Grace turned quickly and composed herself.

  “I hope you do better than that in court.” Lizzy chuckled. “Still no one special in your life?”

  Grace shook her head slowly. There never will be…

  “He’s a nice man. You should get to know him.”

  Letting out a sigh, Grace's shoulders slumped. But Ryan had been a soldier and had probably killed a hundred times more people than she had. Maybe she could risk it. She drew a breath. “We'll see."

  Chapter 18

  One morning, several days later, Grace was sitting outside in the garden wrapped in a blanket, trying to read a John Grisham thriller she'd found amongst all the Christian books on Lizzy’s bookshelf, but she was finding it hard to relax, and was wishing she was back in the courtroom. A movement distracted her, and looking up, Grace saw Brianna coming towards her with a smile on her face. Putting her book down, Grace held out her hand. "Hey, Bibi, this is a nice surprise. How are you?" Pulling Brianna onto the seat beside her, she gave Brianna a big hug.

  “Good. Really good.” Brianna’s eyes were brighter than Grace had ever seen them. Even her voice sounded more alive.

  Grace smiled into Brianna's eyes as she brushed some hair off Brianna's forehead. “That’s great. What have you been doing?”

  Brianna let out a small chuckle. “I've been learning how to cook." Her eyes sparkled as she held out a covered plate. "I made an apple pie this morning, and I brought you some." The proud smile on Brianna's face brought tears to Grace's eyes. Was this the same girl she'd left in Daniel's care just three days ago?

  "It smells wonderful!" Grace lifted the cloth and took a peek.

  Brianna smiled, her eyes glistening. "I've done some painting too, and I've been canoeing on the loch. I didn't even fall in."

  Shaking her head, Grace laughed. "I don't believe it."

  "Here's something you really won't believe." Brianna's expression grew serious and she glanced down at her hands before meeting Grace's gaze. "I've been taking the Bible classes Daniel runs, and he's amazing. You should hear him."

  Grace stiffened. “Don’t tell me they’ve brainwashed you already?”

  “No, Grace. It’s not like that, really. There’s no pressure. We’re allowed to make our own minds up, but I’m starting to understand about God, and how He can fix my life if I let Him. I’ve still got a lot to learn, but so far it makes sense.”

  “Well, it’s great to see you so excited.” Grace smiled at her but let out a sigh. At least she’s off the drugs, for now… “You know I don’t believe in all that, but if you want to, that’s up to you.”

  Brianna grabbed Grace's hand. “You should come to one of Danny’s classes and see for yourself.”

  Grace pursed her lips. “I don’t think so, but thanks.”
/>   “Tomorrow Ryan's taking us hiking, and he said to ask if you wanted to come.”

  Grace’s eyes widened. He hadn't forgotten. “Who’s going?”

  “All the new students. There’s five of us—three girls and two boys. Oh, I forgot to tell you—one of the boys was in my class at school, but he doesn’t remember me.” Brianna’s smile slipped. “He’s not doing too well.”

  “But you are, Bibi, and that's all that matters.” Grace squeezed her hand.

  Sighing, Brianna glanced down at her hands. “Yes, I know, but everyone else is doing well, apart from him.” She looked up, her face brightening. “Danny’s coming too.”

  Grace ran her hand through her hair. “I’ll think about it.” But she'd already made up her mind. She'd go.

  “We’re leaving at nine if you decide to come.” Leaning forward, Brianna gave Grace a hug. “Thanks for bringing me here, Grace.”

  Tears stung her eyes. Was it possible that Bibi was finally getting clean? Straightening, Grace smiled into Brianna's eyes and tucked a stray lock of hair behind her ear. "I'm glad you're happy here, Bibi. I really am."

  Brianna nodded and gulped. "See you in the morning?"

  "Maybe."

  A spark of hope grew inside Grace as Brianna walked away with a spring to her step. It had only been a few days, but already Brianna was a changed person. But would it last?

  Lizzy poked her head out the kitchen door. “Lunch is ready, Grace.”

  "Coming." Grace folded the blanket, picked up her book and headed inside. The children were already seated at the table, as noisy as ever.

  “Come and sit here, Auntie Grace.” Dillon jumped up and grabbed her hand, pulling her towards the seat next to him.

  Grace laughed as she let Dillon drag her along. How could she resist his charm? He was just like his father. “Have you had a good morning?” Grace asked as she sat beside him.

  “Yes, we played lots of games and we did some painting. I did this one for you.” He jumped off his seat again and scrambled through a box of bits and pieces, finally pulling out a folded piece of paper which he handed to her.