Bellissimo Lotta (Beautiful Struggle): Companion Novel to Bellissimo Fortuna (The Family Trilogy Book 2)

by Lunsford, Leigh Ann

  “I know. I just hope you’re leaving with me.”

  “Look at me,” I grab his face, “you know me, I wouldn’t do that.”

  “I know, gorgeous. It’s just harder than I thought. I’m gonna ask something else and see if you can give it to me.”

  “Okay.”

  “This week…don’t let him get in here,” he taps my head, “he’s got a place here,” tapping my heart, “but I can’t change that. Stay with me this week, and let’s enjoy ourselves. Can you give me that?”

  “Yes.” I have no hesitation. Each time he asks for another thing I willingly give it to him. His temperament so even keeled, and he gives me time to adjust to what he’s asking of me and the fact he takes this much care with me shows me loud and clear what kind of man he is. I just hope he’s one I can keep.

  “Let’s go. Showtime, gorgeous.” I swallow the dread that’s worked its way inside me and follow his lead. I vow to get my brother alone and squash his dreams of more children when I crush his tiny dick. I hope Callie is okay with having one child.

  The first few days pass without incident. There is a stilted politeness when Dakota and Heath are in close proximity, and we all work overtime to ease it. I don’t think they will ever be friends, but if I end up with Heath, Dakota will always be a part of our life. He’s Bronson’s best friend, Angelo’s godfather, and they’ll have to figure out a way to get along.

  Lynsey has been a great buffer and doesn’t seem to mind that she is paired with Dakota in a lot of the activities. We try and mix it up; I’ve been on the back of the jet ski with Bronson and Callie with Heath or Dakota. I’ve made sure to not put myself in a situation where I’m alone with Dakota. It would be unfair to all of us. Not here.

  Dinner and drinks are flowing, laughter and friendships are combining. I look around the table and it’s so familiar and so new with the additions of Heath and Lynsey. Six years ago the four of us created a bond, we did everything together and in a way that’s what I thought our future would be. I see it was small-minded and unrealistic, but I still have that twinge of pain for letting go of the dream. The perfect world.

  Callie and Bronson get up to dance; Heath stands and grabs my hand leading me out behind them. ‘Burning House’ by Cam is playing, and my eyes gravitate towards Dakota. It’s so wrong being in Heath’s arms while staring at another. The same man who has an unspoken hold over me. I’m playing with fire, and no matter what someone is going to get hurt. Lynsey reaches over and tries to pull Dakota to the bar, and he brushes her off. She turns to me and shakes her head. I break my eye contact with Dakota and hope she distracts him. When the song is over, I notice he’s still in the same spot, boring holes into me.

  I grab Heath’s hand, “Let’s go back to the room.” I’m going to hell. To avoid my feelings and a confrontation with Dakota, I’m running again, but this time I’m using Heath.

  Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own.

  ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

  Chapter 26

  Heath

  She thinks I don’t know why she dragged me off the dance floor and to our room like she was on fire. I felt every emotion flooding her body. She trembled against me while I held her in my arms, and she was fighting the desire to go to him. Her body betrayed her, and her eyes deceived her. The shadows are back, more prominent than ever. She looks at me, but doesn’t see me, not all of me. That fucker holds her prisoner, and I can’t breach the cell he placed her in. I know before this night ends I’ll lose her. She is running scared, and I’m her safe place. It should piss me off she’s using me like this, but it elates me. I’ve become someone she turns to, even in her subconscious. I’m going to have to set her free to allow her make this choice. I thought if I was slow and steady with her she would come to realize what we could have, but I didn’t take into consideration how deep his claws had sunk into her. After all the scars he created inside her, she allows him to rip through those and latch tighter. That ride is going to be hell, and I just hope in the end I’m there to catch her when she gets thrown off . . . before it’s too late and the damage is incorrigible.

  I let her lead me to the room, and once inside, she is on me faster than I can shut the door. Her fear is leading her, and she’s trying to dodge it at every turn. She walked into my life after so many years, and I saw my future. She challenged everything I knew; her fierceness wasn’t the way we were raised, but she threw caution to the wind and was just herself. Feisty, unsure, and beautiful. I wanted to hold her and never let her go, obstacles in our path make that feat impossible. Her lips attack my neck, pulling my shirt up and trying to get it over my head. She drops to her knees and that’s almost my unfastening. I look down with every intention of pulling her up, but her eyes hold a fire that singes me. Her silent challenge is begging me to let her to continue. Her strength is beautiful, but the vulnerability behind it is my undoing. I don’t want to resist her, I don’t want to make her stop but I have to. I could allow her to give me this pleasure and she’d take it as win, a sign as to where she is supposed to be . . . but I won’t. I’ll keep her safe, even from herself in this moment.

  “Stop, Bianca.” She doesn’t. Her tongue darts out and drags down my stomach making the muscles tense and my cock jump.

  “Don’t want to,” she pants.

  I wrench free of her grasp and step away. “Not like this.”

  “You won’t have sex with me, you give me what I want, but I can’t return the favor. You’re hard for me. Tell me you want me but don’t do anything to prove it. I’m not a virgin, Heath. All signs point to you getting it somewhere else.”

  My control snaps. I want to throttle her, but I have no words. “Jesus.” My breath is restricted. My chin drops to my chest, trying to grasp the hilarity of this situation, but there isn’t any coming to me. My arms cross over my chest and I give in to the feelings I’m trying to suppress. “He did a fucking number on you. I’ve never led you to believe I’d cheat. I’m. Not. Him.” I can’t look at her so I turn to the window to avert my gaze. I hold up my hand halting whatever shit she was about to launch from her mouth. “He robbed you of a lot but the worst one is trust, Bianca. Not the trust you don’t have in me, but the trust in yourself. He shredded that, and you can’t trust yourself to see what is right in front of you. I’m right fucking here, and you stare at him while I hold you in my arms. You give him the pieces you withhold from me. That’s bullshit. If I could take away what he did to you, I would. I’d absorb that shit so deep inside me it could never touch you again, but I can’t.”

  “This has nothing to do with him.”

  “It has everything to do with him. And you. You wanted to come up here and fuck me to chase his memory from your mind. I’ve never treated you like that. Never put you in that situation. I thought I was doing the noble thing, showing you how it could be in a solid relationship, but I was wrong. You need to remove him from your system. You need to see that for yourself. I can’t stop you from doing what your heart is telling you to do. I just know you have to do this. You need to take back the part of you he stripped from you. You have to fight for it, and I can’t do it for you.”

  “Wh-what a-are you saying?”

  “I’m going home . . . as soon as I can catch a flight. You spend the rest of your time here moping, getting mad at me, and staying angry with him. You keep living in denial. Or you wake the fuck up, quit hiding and running, and claw yourself out of this cage you put yourself in.”

  “You’re leaving? You swore you weren’t like him.” That one hurt.

  “I’m not like him. I didn’t bring you here to use you. I’ve never pushed you, and I’ve never asked for more than you could give me. He loves you, I’ll give him that, but he fucked up. Instead of knowing what was in front of him he tossed it aside and when it was gone he realized it. That’s the difference. I know what I have in front of me, and I’d do anything for you. Even letting you be happy somewhere else.” I slam the door, and I don�
��t look back. I make my way to the lobby and get some help getting me the fuck off this island.

  The entire flight home I reason with God, begging him to let her make the choice I want her to make, the one I feel in my bones. I spend the other half telling him to ignore my greed and lead her to the choice that makes her happy. I hope those two are one in the same.

  Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.

  ~Emily Brontë

  Chapter 27

  Callie

  The day I dreamed of since I was six.

  The day he told me he’d be waiting for me at the end of the aisle.

  It’s here and he is waiting.

  Simple is how we kept it. No elaborate shenanigans. Him, Bianca, Gianna, Dakota, Lynsey, and me. In the backyard of the family house, looking over the water we’ve always considered ours.

  Bianca didn’t bring Heath, and she hasn’t said a word regarding him. She’s like Fort Knox when it comes to her personal life, right now. Other than the first night she broke down, cussed everyone with a dick and swore off men. She went as far as to suggest she and Lynsey become lesbians, but neither one of them were gung-ho with that idea. She’s doesn’t whine or talk about things unless you force her, and then your odds are fifty-fifty at best that she’ll open up. You know she’s hurt, but she’ll plaster her defenses, wearing them like an armored suit, and give you a factual description of the case in point but nothing else.

  Angelo is walking down the aisle with me, not to give me away but to unite us together. Lynsey walks down the aisle followed by Bianca. I grab my little guy’s hand, and we begin our journey.

  Each step I take is one step closer to the future he promised me and true to his word, he’s delivering. I stare into the eyes that make all my fears disappear, take the hand that has always held me up, and stand next to the man who loves me more than his own life.

  I don’t hear most of what the priest says, my focus captivated by Bronson and the way his eyes keep watching Angelo and I, like he’s in disbelief this day is here.

  “The couple decided to speak from their hearts today. Callie, you may begin.”

  I take a deep breath, not out of fear but because I have so much to say to this man I’m afraid I’ll run out of oxygen. “Bronson, I was yours before I knew what belonging to someone was. You shielded me, picked me up when I fell, wiped the tears before you’d ever allow them to fall. You haven’t let go of me or my heart since. I want to thank you for loving me because in your love I’ve been able to become a mother I’m proud of, a friend who is loyal, and a partner that will forever put you before me. In your love I’ve been able to love myself. You showed me how to give and how to receive love. You’ve been my everything for seventeen years and on that day I told you I was going to marry you, you didn’t flinch, didn’t try to persuade me any differently. You weren’t afraid or freaked like most kids would be; you accepted it and made me a believer of a silly childhood dream. I asked you not too long ago why you loved me and the reasons you gave me filled my heart to capacity, and it was just that simple . . . love. I love our love; I love you, and promise I always will. The love we had as children grew to an undeniable love in high school and college. It remained solid when things challenged it, and it has grown so much sometimes it terrifies me because without your love, without you by my side, I’m not whole. You hold my heart, and I give you my love, everyday.”

  He bends his head down and touches his lips to mine, resting his head against my forehead. Closing his eyes, “I love you,” he whispers.

  The priest clears his throat. “It’s your turn, Bronson.” He places his mouth against my temple and lets it rest there for a moment before standing tall and capturing my attention.

  In all the world, there is no heart for me like yours. In all the world, there is no love for you like mine.

  ~Maya Angelou

  Chapter 28

  Bronson

  She’s a grown-up vision of the day I took the hinges off the door to get to her.

  The day she declared she would marry me.

  Now as she walks towards me with her red hair blowing in the wind, holding our son’s hand, every dream I have ever had comes to fruition. The same son she fought tooth and nail to get back to me when I had given up hope.

  I came close to losing my future, and I won’t allow myself to be in that situation again. When I thought I had lost her for good, it was my wake-up call, and I won’t allow anything to separate us again.

  Dakota claps my shoulder, and I focus on her, fight myself from going to her and carrying both of them down the aisle so they get here faster. The pressure he’s forcing on my shoulder gets tighter, holding me in place. I shoot him a grin, and my heart has a stabling pain as I remember the empty spot next to him.

  We decided to only have Dakota stand up for me, leaving a lone spot in remembrance of my dad. Without his support and standing up for us all those years ago, we wouldn’t be where we are today.

  Her words threaten to bring me to my knees. I don’t deserve half of what she just said to me, I fell short so many times, broke promises I made her, and like Callie is, she just accepted my flaws and my reasons. Opened her arms and heart wider.

  “Callie, call it fate or destiny, from the day you skipped in the door side by side with Bianca, I knew you would impact my life. I haven’t always been the man you needed, but you have always been the woman I love. I’ll love you until my last breath. You’ve given me seventeen years, and I can’t wait to claim the next sixty. Not only was your heart the most precious gift you gave me, you added the unbelievable when you gave me Angelo. You’re the only woman I want to be a mother to our children, and the only woman I want to wake up with and fall asleep next to. There are times when you yell at me, but you love with the same fierceness. We work. It’s just that simple. I want to walk beside you. If you need me to lead sometimes, I’ll take that. I want to watch your eyes crinkle with laughter and happiness, and I want to be the reason for those reactions. I want you to need me just as much as I need you. I’m a shell of a man without you and like I told you that day . . . today I was the man at the end of the aisle waiting for you. Anticipating our next journey together as husband and wife, and I’m honored you chose me. Choosing you isn’t a choice . . . it’s the reason for my existence. I love you.”

  Stepping to her, I cup her cheek and seal our vows with a kiss, promising a future.

  She’s my wife.

  She’s my life.

  I kept trying to make it go away but how do you kill a feeling?

  ~Dan Humphrey

  Chapter 29

  Dakota

  I stared at Bianca throughout the entire ceremony, just wanting to catch a glimpse of her eyes; they’ve always told me everything I needed to know. If they are bright gold, she’s feeling mischievous and with her you don’t know what to expect. When they morph to an amber color that means she’s upset, and then there is that molten gold, like fall leaves, that’s the color I strive for. It means she’s happy, and I love putting that emotion inside of her. I haven’t done much of that lately.

  I step back and watch Callie and Bronson finish their first dance. Now it’s my turn to take my girl in my arms, and she has to endure it for the duration of the song. I don’t know how that will help me, but I’ll try anything. She’s refused all deliveries, texts and calls since Turks and Caicos two weeks ago. I knew she and Heath had a fight because I saw him storm out of their room, and he disappeared the rest of the trip. Callie told me he went home but to leave it alone.

  ‘Fall’ by Ed Sheeran is what the attendants, really just Bianca and I, are dancing to. I pull her to me and let my head fall to her shoulder and feel grounded.

  “Not here, Dakota. Don’t make me cause a scene on this dance floor.” Her eyes don’t have the life I’m used to seeing. The murky color swirling behind them isn’t one I’m used to seeing. I have to think quickly. I saw Callie’s face while Bronson poured his heart out, and girls like tha
t.

  “Can we talk?”

  “Not here.”

  I grab her hand and pull her off the dance floor. I lead her inside to the media room where we spent so much time, created memories. I need all the help I can get. “What the hell, Dakota? This is their wedding.”

  “I need to make a vow to you. A promise. Just listen to me.” When she doesn’t leave I take it as a yes.

  I’ve got to give her everything I have.

  I’ve got to remind her why she loved me.

  Show her how perfect we are together.

  “This is my Hail Mary, Bianca. I don’t have anything after this. You. Are. My. World. I know I shattered yours, and I’d do anything to change that day. I’d trade places with you and endure it over and over as long as you didn’t have to go through one ounce of the shit I gave you. It wasn’t always like that. We were perfect together. I waited for you to get over your fear of love and when you did, what happened?”

  “You loved me. You showed me how it could be, how I needed it to be.”

  “Let me do that again. Please. I’ll do whatever you want. Whatever you need.” Her eyes close, and I see her chest heave. I have to go for it. “I’ve had more chances than I deserve, than anyone deserves. One chance is all it takes with you because to let you go, to lose you isn’t something I can live with. You gave me that first chance, and we were happy. One more chance, let me prove to you that I was worth the risk when you were sixteen, seventeen, and today at twenty-three. Let me love you. Sposami?”

  “You did not just ask me to marry you. Are you fucking crazy, Dakota?”