Be My Reason: A BWWM Romance (Make It Marriage Book 10)

by Nia Arthurs

  “Come on, Heath.” Kastle leans back. “Brenna won’t kiss and tell.”

  “And I will?”

  “You’re easier to read.” He grins.

  “I’m not playing this game with you, Kastle.” I lean against the wall and frown.

  “Bro, relax. I’m just messing with you. The Make It Marriage women didn’t even bet. There was a unanimous vote that you and Brenna were into each other. And with Glory totally on board, there’s nothing in your way.”

  “You’re wrong.”

  “Come on. You can be happy for once, Heath. You deserve that.”

  “No. It’s not—I’m not even sure Brenna’s still in this after today.”

  “What?” Kastle’s brow wrinkles in concern.

  I shake my head. “I tried to tell myself that it wouldn’t get complicated, but it is. There’s no running from that.”

  “Because of…” He nods subtly to the hospital room where Glory and Mercy are.

  “No. It’s not that. Brenna adores Glory. I think she likes her more than she likes me right now.”

  “Then what’s the problem?”

  “Everything else.” I lean my head back against the door.

  “Talk to me.”

  “Mom paid Glory’s hospital bills.”

  Kastle’s entire body stiffens. “What did she want?”

  “If I said it was just to help?”

  “I’d say you’re an idiot.”

  “Maybe I am.”

  Kastle narrows his eyes at me. “Don’t, Heath.”

  I know exactly what he’s warning me against.

  Because this is mom.

  This is mom meddling with Glory.

  My brother and I raised my daughter. We both did. Two of us.

  He shows her love in different ways. In ways he can afford. It’s different. But the love is the same.

  Kastle would die for her. And Glory knows. Even at eight years old, she knows that if I’m gone, Kastle will step in as her father.

  Our dad never entered the equation. He might have given her life, but he wouldn’t lay his life down for her. He had the opportunity and refused. Now, he doesn’t exist to her.

  “If mom gets involved…” Kastle’s voice is as grave as a funeral home.

  “She won’t.”

  “But if she does,” his eyes are hard, “she’ll be as messy as possible.”

  “I know what mom is like. You don’t have to remind me.”

  “You still haven’t told me what she wanted.”

  “To pull me back into the company.”

  Kastle’s face flushes with hurt. “She wants to fight with me using you?”

  “I told her no.” I scrub my cheek with the heel of my hand. “I’m not interested.”

  “Mom doesn’t offer deals people can say no to.” Kastle stares intently at me.

  “I’ll be careful.”

  “And dad?”

  I shrug. “Scheming. He learned that from mom. I don’t know which of the two of them will hurt me the most.”

  “I’m sorry.” Kastle lowers his head. “I’m really sorry, Heath.”

  “I just want my daughter to be happy and safe and healthy.” My voice cracks. “I want to build my business so that I can provide for my family. And I want… I want a simple kind of love. No drama, no complications.” I glance at my brother with a wistful smile. “Think that’s too much to ask for?”

  “No, man. It’s not. But the simple things are sometimes the hardest to hold on to.”

  “Yeah.”

  We go silent.

  At that moment, footsteps thud down the hallway.

  I glance up, expecting the doctor. Instead, there’s a man in a suit staring at me.

  My fingers curl into fists. “Can I help you?”

  “Heath Jameson,” he shoves a document at me, “this is your final warning.”

  “Who the hell are you?” Kastle moves to grab the guy.

  I stop him.

  Without batting an eyelash, the stranger flutters the document. “From your father.”

  I snap the paper from him. “What are these?”

  Instead of answering, he heads back down the hallway.

  “Hey!” Kastle yells, moving forward as if he’ll chase the stranger. At the last minute, he swerves toward me. “What does it say?”

  I skim the documents and the blood drains from my face.

  “Heath, what is it?” Kastle hovers close behind me.

  I grip the papers until they crumple as anger singes my veins. “Dad’s going to file for custody.”

  Twenty-Seven

  Brenna

  I work through lunch because I’m too upset to eat. My fight with Heath knocked the wind out of my sails and, if I was unable to focus before, it’s an even bigger struggle now.

  My fault. I knew this was where we would end up before we started.

  We’re both too stubborn to give up on something we believe in. The fact that we’re standing in direct opposition to one another should have been a big, fat red flag to the face. Stay away. Do not approach.

  I deserve this pain.

  This anxiety.

  This crushing hole in my chest.

  And if I were smart, I’d probably take a giant step back now.

  But I can’t.

  Heath’s gotten under my skin. The thought of never talking to him again, never sitting in an ice cream parlor with him and Glory, never smiling and laughing and feeling like I’m a part of a family again—I don’t want to live in a world without that.

  You can’t have everything, Brenna.

  Why? Why the hell can’t I?

  It’s not like life has been kind to me. It’s not like I grew up in a mansion with parents who were cold but rich enough to make me forget. It’s not like I have a billionaire brother to fall back on if I stumble. It’s not like my family’s connections can get me a leg up if my business doesn’t work out.

  Heath can find another way.

  He has so many nets to fall back on that he’d bounce to a higher level if he fell.

  I don’t have any of that.

  Why do I have to give up?

  Why do I have to suffer?

  My chest hurts and I throw my pencil down, giving up on the notes in front of me. Maybe some coffee will restore my energy. At the very least, I should put some food in my stomach even if I’m not hungry.

  Grabbing my purse, I swing it over my head and march out of the reference section. On the way, I bump into the librarian who works on this floor.

  “Sorry,” I mumble, starting to walk away.

  “You’re Miss B, right?” She arches an eyebrow. “The lady who does the children’s book reading sometimes?”

  “Yes.” I give her a curious look.

  “I was just about to bring this to you.” She hands me a note.

  “Who’s it from?”

  “Your biggest fan.” She taps the paper with a smile. “At least that’s what it says.”

  I study the note and notice a child-like scrawl in pencil.

  Inside is a simple note.

  Miss B, I need to talk to you. I’ll be waiting in front of our favorite story.

  It’s signed in Glory’s childlike flourish.

  My heart expands and burns all at the same time.

  “Thank you,” I croak to the librarian.

  “No problem.” She returns to her work, not batting an eyelash as I sprint through the hallway, my heels clicking loudly on the wooden floor.

  I thump up the stairs and pass the librarian in charge of the children’s section.

  “Brenna!” She calls my name. “I wasn’t sure if you were still here.”

  “Hi. I’m kind of in a rush.”

  She gestures to the left. “Glory’s that way.”

  I nod my thanks and head over.

  Mercy’s standing in the doorway when I draw near. Her smile is warm, even if it is tinged with a little sadness.

  I don’t know why, but the moment I see h
er, I reach out. She accepts the hug, pulling me into herself. She smells like powder and mint. It reminds me of my grandmother, and I hold on a beat longer than I should.

  When I lean back, she squeezes my wrist. “You look as awful as Heath does.”

  “Just what every woman wants to hear.” I laugh softly and my gaze sweeps the room.

  Bookshelves. Posters. Tiny yellow, red and green tables.

  There.

  Hunched over a book about African empresses is a little girl with brown skin and beautiful braided hair. Today, she’s wearing a ladybug jumpsuit.

  “She just came from the hospital,” Mercy explains, seeing where my eyes have landed. “She’s tired and cranky, but she insisted on coming here. She really wanted to see you.”

  My heart cinches and I realize that I’ve fallen in love with this little girl as much as I have with Heath.

  I take a step forward.

  Then stop.

  I don’t deserve to be in her life.

  I don’t deserve to look her in the eye.

  I’m struggling to give up the farmhouse.

  It’s hard for me.

  Someone less selfish would have given up on that fight a long time ago.

  “What’s wrong?” Mercy asks.

  “Can I have it all?” I stare at Glory’s back. “Can I have everything I want without feeling guilty about it?”

  Mercy sighs. “You and Heath are so stubborn. I honestly—” She pins her lips into a firm line. “When we die, the people left behind aren’t going to remember the houses we tore down or built.” Her eyes sharpen on me. “They’re not going to remember what we avoided.”

  I flinch.

  “They’re going to remember what you overcame. What you gave up to be there for them.” She nods to Glory. “They’re going to remember how you loved them. How your words, your actions and your sacrifices changed their lives. I don’t care about the farmhouse. Right now, a little girl’s heart is breaking and she’s looking at you to put it back together. And I am telling you,” she lowers her voice firmly, “if you’re going to second-guess this and waver at every turn, you need to walk away now. Glory doesn’t need any more uncertainty in her life.”

  My eyes return to the little girl. “I want to be there for her.”

  Mercy studies me. “Is it that simple?”

  “No.” I shake my head. “But it’s all that matters. I’ll figure out the rest later.” Striding past her, I walk up to Glory and touch her back.

  She whirls around. The moment she sees me, she throws her arms around my waist and hugs me tight. “Miss B.”

  “Hi, sweetie.” I brush my hand over her braids.

  Tears roll down her face. “Miss B, no one’s telling me anything. I feel like everyone is lying to me and I…” She gasps for breath. “I don’t understand why. Why can’t I see my grampa and grandma? Why don’t I have a mom like everyone else? Why is dad treating me like I’m a baby?”

  “He’s trying so hard to protect you.” I hug her close and rock her from side to side. “I know it’s tough right now, but it’s going to be okay.”

  She pulls back. “What if he never tells me anything?”

  “Maybe.” I mull the question over. “But I don’t think he will. He just wants to make sure you can handle it.”

  “I can.” She lifts her chin confidently.

  “Sweetie, the truth hurts sometimes.” I wipe her tears. “It stings and it burns. And he doesn’t want you to go through that. He doesn’t want you to feel pain because the best way to torture a father is to hurt the people he loves.” I kneel in front of her. “You know how much your dad loves you.”

  She nods, her chest heaving. “Even if it hurts, I’d still want to know.”

  I still want to know.

  Her words strike me deep in my chest.

  Conflict tears me out from the inside.

  I lied to Heath.

  “Did anything interesting happen yesterday?”

  My heart drops like a stone.

  Damn it.

  The way he asked that question—

  The look in his eyes—

  In hindsight, it’s so clear.

  Heath knows.

  “I think…” Glory straightens. Tears dry on her brown cheeks. “I’ll give daddy a little more time. Will he trust me eventually?”

  “Of course.” I kiss her forehead.

  As I hold Glory close, despair burns in my chest. If I have to lose something, it can’t be this family, but being a part of their lives will require letting go of the farmhouse.

  Can I sacrifice what I want to protect what I need?

  Twenty-Eight

  Heath

  The door bangs against the wall as I storm into my father’s office. He rises slowly, as if he’d been expecting me. The green eyes I inherited from him fasten on my face and his lips curl up in a slow smile.

  “The hell do you think you’re doing?” I hiss, throwing the custody papers at him.

  “I’m doing what is necessary.” Dad barely glances at the documents as they flutter around his desk.

  My chest rises and falls.

  I struggle to keep my anger in check.

  This man is my father.

  This man is Glory’s father.

  I need to remember that. Beating his face in won’t solve any problems and it won’t make me feel better either. Violence will just give dad fodder to accuse me of being mentally unfit to take care of my daughter. I can’t hand him an opportunity to have what he wants.

  Stay calm, Heath.

  “I know what you’re doing.” I bite out. “It won’t work.”

  “What am I doing, son?”

  I flinch at the term ‘son’. “You’re trying to instigate me. Trying to start a fight so you can use that as an excuse to take Glory away.”

  “Hm.” Dad strokes his chin. His beard used to be short and well-groomed. Always. The same way mom pestered Kastle about always being ‘camera-ready’, she was on him to look his best.

  During filming, dad got his hair dyed every month so all the greys were out of sight. He had his beard professionally washed, conditioned, and styled.

  But now, all his grey hairs are showing.

  Now, his beard is growing full.

  And that scares me more than I’ll ever freaking admit. It means dad is doing what he wants now. It means mom really has lost her ability to put a leash on him.

  Dad laughs softly. “That’s a good plan. A better one than I came up with. Make you angry and use that against you.” He shuffles his hand around his desk and picks up his phone. “Why didn’t I think of it?”

  “Are you writing that down?” I gawk.

  “Well, a good idea is a good idea. No matter where it came from.”

  I snatch the cell phone and slam it on the desk. “I already told you that you and your goons aren’t to come anywhere near Glory.”

  “She looked right at me, you know.” Dad’s smile carries a hint of sadness. He leans against his desk and crosses his ankles. “That day at the party. She looked right at me and she called me ‘grampa’.” Dad plays with the hem of his shirt and there’s a slight tremble to his fingers. “You ever had your heart shattered to pieces in a moment? Not a gradual feeling but an immediate and painful break. You ever had that?”

  “I’m not doing this with you. I said what I had to say. If you push, dad, I will push back.” I turn to the door.

  “That’s the way I felt when I looked at my daughter from the distance. That’s what I felt when our eyes caught, and she smiled like she was smiling at a stranger.”

  I reach out to twist the knob.

  “I want to see her. Please.”

  My back stiffens. My fingers fall away from the door. “You threaten me and then you ask for favors?”

  “Let’s not drag this into court, Heath.”

  My legs carry me swiftly across the room. “You sure are doing a lot of crap for someone who’s so hesitant to fight with me.”

&nb
sp; “These are warning shots, son. Don’t you think I would have pulled the trigger if I wanted to by now?” He shakes his head. “I’ve got all the pieces right where I want them. Your little girlfriend’s even handing over all her research to me.”

  I stiffen when he mentions Brenna. “Don’t touch my people, dad. This is my warning to you.”

  “I want to meet Glory. In person. I want an introduction,” dad says. “Let me just… let me talk to her.”

  “And tell her what, dad?” My nostrils flare. My voice climbs. “That I’m her uncle? That ‘grampa’ is actually her biological father? Do I tell her that you cheated on your wife in the office when you thought no one could see? That her mother never loved you and you never loved her? Exactly what should that introduction sound like, dad?”

  His chin hits his chest. At least he has the decency to look ashamed. “I haven’t figured that part out yet.”

  “And you never need to.”

  “Heath,” Dad’s voice is a quiet warning, “I’m trying my best to go about this in a way that won’t hurt you or Glory. I’m well aware of what’s at stake.”

  “No. You have no idea what my baby will lose if you decide to have a conscience eight years too late. Glory is not a weapon you can wield to show your independence. She’s not some pawn in a game that you don’t care if you lose. She is the most precious, bright, and beautiful person I know. She is my life. And you do not get to waltz in and make demands because you broke a condom in her mother.”

  Dad thumps his chest with a fist as tears gather in his eyes. “You’re right. All of what you said is right. But if you’d just take a minute, we could agree on—we could work something out.”

  “There is nothing to work out. I don’t know what your angle is and I don’t care to know. My job as her father, the job you gave up when it was inconvenient to you, is to protect her. To die for her. I don’t care who gets in my way. Even if that person is you.”

  “I know you’re working with your mother,” dad says quietly.

  “What does that have to do with—”

  “You’d really side with her over me?”

  I tip my chin to the ceiling, suddenly exhausted. There’s a reason I left this family, this life, behind. All the money, the power, the games they play—I couldn’t keep up. I didn’t want to. The life I seek is simple. A family. A wife. A home. Glory’s good health. A dog. Laughter in the morning.