Monkey Madness

by Anna Wilson

  ‘It is me. Mo,’ said the voice in a harsh whisper.

  Felix clambered out of his sleeping bag and hurried to the tent door, which was already open. How had Mo opened it without him hearing? The zip had been so loud last night.

  Felix cautiously stuck his head through the gap. ‘Hello, Mo. Are you OK? I heard a voice saying “Go away” just now. Was that you?’

  Mo chuckled. ‘You are a funny boy,’ she said. ‘That was the Go-Away Bird, of course.’

  ‘What?’ Felix was puzzled. What tall story was Mo telling now?

  ‘The Go-Away Bird,’ Mo repeated impatiently. ‘It is another name for the Grey Lourie, because that is the sound that it makes. You are to come out right now, Felix. Daddy has made some breakfast. We need to get going.’

  ‘OK, I’m coming,’ he whispered to Mo.

  Felix swung his head torch round to Mum who was stirring and making little grunting noises.

  ‘Whassat?’ Mum mumbled grumpily. She propped herself up on one elbow and squinted into the torchlight.

  ‘Sorry, Mum,’ said Felix. ‘It’s time to get up. I’m going to get some breakfast.’

  ‘Mugdfgfg,’ said Mum and turned over in her sleeping bag.

  Zed let out a humungous snore, and Mum grunted again.

  Felix sighed. He could not understand why the grown-ups were not leaping out of bed. They were going on a Real Life Safari, for goodness sake!

  Bibi was standing by the fire as Felix emerged from the tent. He saw a golden glow coming from the fire, and also light was coming from behind the tents. Felix turned and gasped. The sun was appearing over the edge of the horizon, in a semicircle of flames, mirroring the campfire. Felix looked up and saw that above him the sky was still dark. He could still make out thousands and thousands of stars in the inky-blue sky, in spite of the sun rising before him. He looked back at the sun and saw it had already risen a little further.

  He peered back at his tent. He thought he saw some movement, but he could not be certain in the half-light. What had been jumping on it earlier? Was it Mo, mucking about? It couldn’t have been that Go-Away Bird, could it? Or lion cubs? But lions didn’t climb trees, he was pretty certain of that . . .

  Bibi broke into his thoughts, putting a warm hand on his shoulder. ‘The sun appears to set and rise fast here, because we are near the equator,’ he explained. ‘Now come and have some hot chocolate or some redbush tea to warm you. The mornings are cold.’

  Felix followed Bibi gratefully to the fire. It certainly was chilly. The night before he had been too hot in his sleeping bag and had lain on top of it, but during the night he had had to sneak into it as the temperature had fallen.

  Mo was full of energy, rushing around finding plates and mugs and chattering wildly about the day’s plans.

  ‘We are going to have a proper breakfast later,’ she said. ‘Can you wake your lazybones of a mother and that snoring uncle of yours? We must get on the road, mustn’t we, Daddy?’

  ‘Well, I am sorry to have held you all up,’ said Mum. ‘I’ve been looking for my hat and sunglasses. I can’t seem to find them.’

  Mo sniggered. ‘You do not need your sunglasses! It is dark!’

  ‘I might need them later . . .’ Mum muttered.

  ‘Hey, sorry about the snoring, dude,’ said Zed, who was following close behind. He had a serious bed-head: his long, snaky blond hair seemed to have a life of its own this morning, and his face looked a bit crinkled, like a scrunched-up crisp packet. He rubbed his cheeks, yawned and stretched. ‘Oh, man, a campfire breakfast! This is the life. Hey, did you hear that banging on the tent earlier, Feels?’

  ‘Yes,’ Felix said, grateful his uncle had brought up the subject. ‘What do you think it was?’

  Zed shrugged. ‘Dunno, but whatever it was, they came back after you got up – jumping and sliding and cackling.’

  Bibi took a slurp of his hot, sweet tea and said, ‘Monkeys again, probably.’

  Mo nodded. ‘Oh, yes. I saw them before I came to wake you. They are always doing this: jumping out of the trees and on to the tents. They think the tents are there for them – like our slide in the school playground,’ she added with a grin.

  ‘Oh!’ said Felix. He wished now that he had been brave enough to get outside the tent to take a look. ‘Mo,’ he said, sidling up to her so that the adults could not hear, ‘I need to ask you about the monkeys—’

  ‘Time to go,’ Bibi said suddenly. He kicked earth over the flames of the campfire. ‘Mo will stay here with Elvis. We will come back in the middle of the morning and you can have showers and a second, proper breakfast then.’

  Felix was disappointed that Mo wouldn’t be coming too. Still, he couldn’t stay disappointed for long: up at dawn with monkeys jumping on your tent and birds chattering all around you; toast by a campfire and a grown-up telling you there would be a second breakfast later in the morning . . . How could anyone be anything but one hundred and ten per cent happy, living this sort of life?

  Bibi loaded some boxes and large plastic containers of water into the special safari jeep, which Elvis had driven to the camp ahead of them. Then, urging them to grab jumpers and blankets, he told everyone to get on board.

  ‘We are going to try and find some lion,’ he said. ‘So keep your eyes open. If you see anything, tell me and I will stop.’

  Mo waved as they climbed in – Mum in the back, Zed and Felix in the middle behind Bibi. The sides of the jeep were open, ‘So that you can see the animals clearly,’ Bibi told them.

  ‘Why can’t you come too?’ Felix called out to Mo.

  She shook her head and pulled a face. ‘Because my daddy has set me some schoolwork to do. And I must help Elvis,’ she said, quickly sticking her tongue out once Bibi’s back was turned.

  ‘What a shame,’ said Mum quietly.

  ‘Yes, it is,’ said Felix. ‘See you later then.’ He shivered. His legs were cold in his shorts.

  ‘Here, man,’ said Zed. ‘Snuggle up next to me.’ He pulled a light woollen blanket from the back of the jeep and laid it over their legs, putting his arm around his nephew.

  Using his own language, Bibi called out what could have been a list of instructions to Elvis and Mo. Then he started up the jeep and pulled away from the camp and out, into the bush.

  Felix rested his head in the crook of Zed’s arm and closed his eyes for a second so that he could soak up the sounds and smells around him. The inside of his nose felt dry; from breathing in all the dust, he supposed. There was another smell in the air: a kind of refreshing, lemony tang, and faint animal odours too, which reminded him of the smell of the horse dung which was sometimes left behind in the middle of the road at home.

  ‘Bibi.’ He leaned forward. ‘What is that lemon-type smell?’

  Bibi shouted above the noise of the engine. ‘It is sage,’ he said.

  ‘Yum,’ said Zed. ‘Sage and onion – delicious!’

  Bibi laughed. ‘No, we do not eat this type of sage! It is used for keeping the mosquitoes away in traditional medicine.’

  Felix thought this sounded like an excellent idea. ‘Wow! Can we stop and pick some? We could use it instead of those disgusting pills Mum’s making us take.’

  Mum leaned over from her seat in the back. ‘No way!’ she said. ‘No disrespect, Bibi,’ she added hastily. ‘But we are not used to African mosquitoes. I would prefer it if you took the medicine, Felix.’

  ‘Yeah, Feels,’ Zed added. ‘Your mum is right.’

  ‘Ooh,’ Felix slumped back against his uncle.

  ‘You must listen to your mother,’ said Bibi. ‘Here, we use both traditional and modern medicine.’

  Suddenly there was a tremendous riot of cackling in front of the jeep. Bibi swung the steering wheel to the right and came to a stop. ‘Guinea fowl!’ he exclaimed.

  ‘Look!’ Zed pointed at the cluster of birds ahead. Their plumage was dark grey, speckled with lighter grey spots and their heads were a bright red and blue.

  Fe
lix immediately reached for his camera. ‘Why are the birds making so much noise?’ he asked, as he focused on them.

  ‘Because of us, I’d expect,’ said Mum.

  ‘No, no, this is exciting, man!’ said Zed. ‘Guinea fowl kick up a fuss like that when there’s lions around . . . “lion around”, get it? Lions, “lion” around – lying around!’

  Mum snarled like a lion herself. ‘Yes, Clive,’ she said. ‘We get it. It’s just not that funny.’

  Bibi turned. ‘Zed is right. Guinea fowl are very good guards. They will tell you if any big cat is in the area,’ he said. ‘People sometimes keep them in the villages to protect their chickens from dogs and jackals too.’

  Felix’s face lit up. ‘Can you get guinea fowl in England?’ he asked Zed.

  His uncle nodded. ‘Yeah. My mate Piggy had some to protect his chickens from foxes.’

  Mum could see where this was heading and interrupted quickly, ‘Felix, I have told you before – we are not having chickens, and we are CERTAINLY not having guinea fowl. We have enough animals.’

  ‘What animals do you have, Felix?’ Bibi asked him kindly.

  Felix replied solemnly, ‘I have a dog and a cat and a hamster and I did have a goldfish before someone flushed him down the loo – it wasn’t me,’ he added quickly.

  Bibi chuckled, then he said, ‘Ah, but it is good to have a dog. I once had a puppy which I loved very much. He saved my life, but he did not manage to save himself.’ He looked suddenly very sad.

  Zed sighed heavily. ‘Oh, man, I remember that story.’

  ‘Tell me!’ said Felix.

  Bibi glanced quickly at Zed. ‘I don’t know . . .’

  ‘Pur-leeeeese!’ Felix pleaded.

  ‘It is a very sad story, little dude,’ Zed warned him. ‘You have to realize life is tough here in Africa.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Bibi. ‘Please remember this was a matter of life and death. I had no choice . . .’

  ‘OK,’ Felix promised.

  Bibi began, ‘I was on my way to school in my canoe—’

  ‘You canoed to school?’ Felix cut in. ‘Wow! Mum, can we—?’

  ‘No!’ Mum laughed.

  ‘But Mum, we could go along the canal!’

  Zed nodded. ‘A great way to put Green before the Machine, sis,’ he said. ‘I’m always telling you driving is bad for the environment.’

  ‘Why don’t we let Bibi finish his story?’ said Mum.

  ‘You might be put off canoeing for life,’ Bibi said. ‘I had to canoe to school – it was the only way. I used to take my puppy with me . . .’

  Felix gasped with delight.

  Then Bibi said, ‘One day, I saw something floating in the water. It seemed to be coming closer and closer and I realized it was a crocodile! Well, Felix, what would you have done?’

  Felix, wide-eyed, said, ‘I would have paddled as fast as I could to get to the other side.’

  Bibi shook his head. ‘Not possible. The crocodile swims so much faster than a boy can paddle. So, any more ideas? I will give you a clue. Either both myself and the puppy could get eaten by the crocodile, or . . .’

  Mum groaned. ‘No! You didn’t?’

  Felix suddenly understood. ‘You – you threw the puppy to the crocodile?’ he said, his voice small.

  Bibi nodded. ‘It was the saddest thing I have ever done. But imagine how sad my parents would have been to lose me and the puppy? This way, only one of us was sacrificed. This is what life is like in Africa, Felix. It can be hard.’

  Felix’s throat was dry. He could not think of anything to say.

  Zed put his arm around him and gave him a squeeze.

  Bibi hastily turned his attention back to the road and said, ‘I think we should see what the guinea fowl were warning us about, don’t you?’

  He drove on, causing the birds to scatter from the path. The jeep went careering through the scrubby landscape, jolting and jarring over dips and ruts in the ground.

  ‘Safari Rule Number One,’ said Bibi. ‘Do not leave the road.’

  He immediately swerved off the road and into the bush.

  ‘Whooah!’ Mum shouted, as she was thrown to left and right. ‘What’s happening?’

  Bibi looked over his shoulder and grinned. ‘Safari Rule Number Two – ignore Rule Number One!’ he cried, stepping on the accelerator.

  ‘I-I d-don’t like thiiiis,’ Mum said. Her voice wobbled in time to the shaking of the vehicle and her face was white. ‘Clive, ask him to stop!’

  But as soon as she said this, Bibi braked and slowed right down, saying, ‘Lion tracks! Shhh!’

  Felix thought it was a bit silly being told to ‘shh’ when the jeep engine was making so much noise, but then something occurred to him. ‘We’re not being ch-chased by l-lions, are we?’ His voice sounded bumpy too.

  ‘WHA-AT?’ Mum cried.

  Bibi called back. ‘Do not worry, Mma. It is we who are doing the chasing – look down and you will see tracks going away from us. At this time of day, the lions will be hunting – for animals, not humans,’ he added hastily.

  Felix tried to look over the side of the jeep, but he was not sure what lion tracks would look like in this dusty earth. How could Bibi have spotted them while driving along? He added this to his ever-lengthening Mental List of things he wanted to ask about later.

  Bibi began driving again, but more carefully this time.

  ‘Lean in, dude,’ Zed whispered into Felix’s ear.

  ‘Why?’ Felix asked. ‘Would a lion jump on top of me?’

  ‘Ooohh,’ Mum quavered.

  ‘No, no. I meant cos of the sharp thorns on some of these bushes,’ Zed said, hugging Felix into him a little more tightly. ‘Don’t be scared, sis,’ he added to Mum. ‘Bibi wouldn’t take us into danger. Just do what he says and everything will be sweet.’

  That’s when Felix saw them: two lionesses with four – no, six! – cubs.

  This is more than ‘sweet’, he thought, as wonder rose up from his belly and squeezed his chest. This is magic! He trained the camera on them.

  ‘Oh, man!’ breathed Zed.

  Bibi brought the jeep to a standstill. Then he turned to his passengers and beamed. ‘I will leave the engine turning over. The lions see us as one big animal. As long as we stay in the jeep, we are safe. We can get away fast, if we need to.’

  Felix filmed the cubs rolling around and playing like kittens. The lionesses stared back at Felix, gazing right into the camera, lazily flicking their tails and occasionally yawning, showing off huge powerful teeth. Felix felt his heart pounding.

  He couldn’t help thinking only one thing was missing from this amazing morning: he wished Flo was there to share the scene with him.

  The rest of the morning was just as wonderful, although they did not see any more big cats. Felix was secretly hoping to see a leopard, as he knew from his Big Book of Safari Facts that this was the hardest cat to find.

  ‘They sleep in the trees and even drag their prey up there to eat because they are Completely Camouflaged under the foliage and light that filters through the leaves,’ he told Zed earnestly.

  They saw so many other wonderful things, though, that it didn’t matter about not seeing a leopard. At one point they came across a clearing where a family of banded mongoose, just like Kabelo, were digging in giant pinky-red termite mounds, squabbling with each other and chasing and nipping at each other’s tails.

  ‘How did you get hold of Kabelo to give him to Mo?’ Felix asked Bibi at one point. ‘They move so fast!’

  Bibi chuckled. ‘I hope you are not thinking of trying to catch a pet for yourself,’ he said.

  Felix flushed a deep red, and dipped his face so that the visor on his baseball cap hid his cheeks. ‘It’s just that I can’t see how you could have done it.’

  ‘I did not catch him exactly,’ said Bibi. ‘I found him when he was very sick. He could have died if I had not taken him to the sanctuary where they care for the animals that are ill.’

&n
bsp; ‘You take wild animals to a vet?’ asked Mum in disbelief.

  ‘Sometimes we have to – there are specially trained vets who have to come into the reserve occasionally to help sick animals. Usually it is not for a creature like a mongoose, as the mongoose is not a protected animal. We do have to let nature take its course. But I love animals so much, if I see a sick animal and I can safely help it, I will always try,’ said Bibi. He chuckled. ‘I made my father so cross when I was young! He was a hunter and he did not see the point of helping animals to get better. I was always bringing creatures home and hiding them in the village and in our hut. My father would say, “One day you will be a man and you will not be able to do this any more. You will be a hunter like me.” But then I studied and passed my exams to work in conservation, and that is how I became a game driver. I never wanted to grow up to kill things like my father.’

  Felix was amazed at this story. ‘So you saved Kabelo?’

  Bibi nodded. ‘Yes. But the problem was that he got used to humans. Now he will not go back to the wild. So really, I think it was not a very sensible thing to do.’

  ‘Did you hear that, Felix?’ Mum said, glaring at him. ‘So don’t go getting any ideas!’

  ‘Yeah, but it was kind, man,’ said Zed admiringly.

  ‘Yes,’ said Felix. ‘It was.’

  They stayed watching the mongoose family for a while longer. Felix thought it was funny how much like human children they were. He imagined Sophie Disbry and Millie Hampton as the two cross, bossy mongoose, jabbering at the smaller ones. Then a bigger, even bossier one came along and split up the group. That’s Flo, Felix said to himself.

  ‘Time to head back for a proper second breakfast!’ Bibi announced.

  ‘Already?’ Felix was sure they had only just started out on their drive.

  ‘Too right, man!’ said Zed, making a big show of rubbing his tummy. ‘I’m starving. It’s nearly eleven o’clock.’

  Bibi turned the jeep around and they headed back to the camp. They passed a herd of zebra grazing. While Felix was filming them, some giraffes lolloped by, their ridiculously long necks waving like bulrushes.