Batteries Not Included: A Romantic Comedy

by Christa Lynn

  I decide to keep my mouth shut and just let her run with her stories about last night. I try to engage in conversation with her, but my mind is on Nash. I thought I had gotten over him, but seeing him this morning and now knowing who Jade is has given me a new perspective. I just wish I hadn’t run from him and avoided him for this long.

  “Earth to Shelby,” I hear Sarah from across the table. “What’s got your face tied up in knots?”

  “What?” I say, snapping back to reality.

  “You’re a million miles away. Are my Dean stories that annoying?” She laughs.

  “Of course not, though you don’t have to get into so much detail.” I giggle. Sarah has no filter and has no problems telling me all about Dean and his sexual prowess. “Keep a little bit to yourself, would ya?”

  “Fine, but my evening with Dean isn’t what’s on your mind. Come on, Shel, spill it.”

  “I ran into Nash this morning.”

  “Didn’t you run into him last night too?” She smirks.

  “No, but I did find out you invited him. I never saw him actually.”

  “He didn’t speak?”

  “No, he watched me. Brought me a couple of beers, but I never noticed him.”

  “That’s kinda hot. Creepy, but hot. Tell me more,” she says as she rests her chin on her folded hands, smirking like only Sarah can. “Where did you run into him?”

  “At the coffee shop, I spilled my coffee on him.”

  “Oh, you’re good.”

  “Stop it.” I laugh. “I didn’t do it on purpose.”

  “Sure you didn’t. So, what happened?”

  “We talked.”

  “And?”

  “And, we’re having dinner tomorrow night,” I say. Sarah squeals and jumps up and down in her seat like a kid in a candy store. “Shelby’s gonna get laid …” she sings, a little louder than she should in a public place.

  “Settle down,” I say, wanting to slide under the table and hide my embarrassment. Typically, I’m the one that likes to embarrass her, but it seems lately we’ve flipped roles.

  “So, are you guys going to pick up where you left off?”

  “I don’t know, we’ll see how dinner goes. One day at a time,” I say.

  “I still can’t believe he didn’t speak last night. I invited him for a reason.”

  “Yeah, a reason you still haven’t filled me in on.”

  “I know how you feel about him, and I’d hoped that you’d spend the evening with him instead of Frank.”

  I laugh. “Even Frank won’t come near me right now.”

  “Well, now maybe you won’t need him anymore.”

  “Oh, he’ll always be close to my heart, a piece of me. He’s always there for me when I need him, and doesn’t run away when I don’t need him.” I laugh. “How did you find him anyway?”

  “Ran into him at Beer Knobs; apparently, he’s a regular there.”

  “Right, no wonder you wanted to have my party there.”

  “I knew he would probably be there anyway, so there was a good chance you’d run into each other.”

  “You like meddling in my affairs, don’t you?”

  “You’re such an easy target.”

  “Thanks, I think,” I say as I sip on my wine. We finish dinner and go on our separate ways, as she has a real date with Dean. I’m a little jealous, but at the same time, I’m nervous about tomorrow when I’ll see Nash again.

  As I walk up the front steps, there’s a small package lying on the doorstep. “I don’t remember ordering anything,” I say as I pick up the little envelope. I walk inside and stare at the package, unsure if I should open it or not. I decide to wait and set it down, but my phone dings.

  Unknown number: “Open it.”

  “Who is this?”

  “Nash, program my number in and open the damn package.”

  “Geez, bossy much?”

  “You have no idea.”

  “I’m scared.” And I know he has no idea just how afraid I am. Can we actually go back to where we were after this much time has passed?

  “I’m waiting.”

  “Fine, hold on.” I grab the package and open the seal, “Oh, my God,” I say out loud.

  “Where did you get these?”

  “Swiped them from you a long time ago. You haven’t missed them?”

  “No.” I type as I hold the battery-operated vibrating panties that Sarah gave me a few months ago.

  “Was Sarah behind this?”

  “Maybe.”

  “I’m gonna kill her.”

  “No, you aren’t. Just have them on and be ready at seven tomorrow night. And yes, I will check to make sure you have them on. Oh, and I have the remote.”

  “Joy.”

  “You’ll love it. Trust me, beauty.”

  “I don’t trust anyone right now.”

  Then my phone rings, NASH appearing on the screen. “Hey,” I coo into the speaker.

  “Hey, beauty, you ready for our date tomorrow night?”

  “Not sure after opening this package.”

  “Well, get ready.” He laughs. “It’s going to be a night you’ll never forget. We have a lot of lost time to make up for, and I plan to make your night.”

  “Wow, not even sure what to say to that,” I respond as my body tingles just from the sound of his voice, and of course the memories of our weekend at Fripp. I know what he can do, and it’s been a long time.

  “No need to say anything, I heard your breath hitch.”

  “Still cocky, I see.”

  “Most definitely. So, what are you doing?”

  “I just got in from dinner with Sarah.”

  “Ahh, what are you wearing?” I know where this is going. I’m not doing this over the phone again, at least, that’s what I tell myself.

  “A chastity belt,” I reply, trying to be funny.

  “Well, that’s just not right. We’ll have to alleviate that problem, take it off.”

  “No, I can’t.”

  “No? Why not?”

  “There’s a padlock on it, and I don’t have the key.”

  “I think I have one, I’ll be right over.” He laughs.

  “Hold on there, Romeo. Tomorrow night. And, aren’t you still on shift?”

  “Yeah, but the guys are asleep, and I’m horny.”

  “Well, you’ll just have to use your hand tonight,” I say.

  “My dick is bored of my hand, I want your hands. I want your mouth, and I want that steaming hot pussy.” My core clenches at his dirty talk.

  “Patience, Nash.”

  “Fuck that, I’m out of patience. Tomorrow night, you’re mine. And if I have any say in it, you’ll stay mine.”

  “One day at a time, Nash.” I try to change the subject, but he’s determined.

  “Are your nipples hard?” he asks quietly. So much for changing the subject.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” I tease.

  “Damn it, woman, humor me, would ya? I’m boxed into a fire station with a bunch of dudes and … and I’ve missed you.

  “I’ve missed you too.” I finally sit down at the kitchen table.

  “Are you in your bedroom?”

  “No, the kitchen.”

  “Where’s Frank?”

  Oh, God, he knows what I’ve nicknamed my vibrator. “Who?”

  “Don’t play dumb with me, where’s your vibrator?”

  “Up in my room.”

  “Go get it, I’ll wait.”

  I can’t believe I’m going to do this again, but that voice in my ear and the remembrance of our weekend together has my body on high alert. I start up the stairs, and in my haste, I stub my toe. “Oh, fuck!” I cry out, then hop up the stairs and grab Frank from my bedside table. I turn it on, hoping the batteries aren’t dead, and they’re not, so I carefully go back down to the kitchen, trying not to fall down the stairs.

  As I get close to the phone, I hear Nash calling my name. “I’m here,” I say, out of breath.
/>   “What happened? I heard you cuss.”

  “I’m fine, just stubbed my toe,” I say, and he laughs a little. “Look, you’re gonna have to not be so worried about me or overly protective, it’ll drive me crazy.”

  “Oh, I’ll drive you crazy all right, get naked and put your feet up on the kitchen table.”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “I don’t joke when it comes to an orgasm, Shelby.” My pussy clenches, and I feel myself getting wet over his words. But Nash can do that to me, get me so aroused off of his words that I don’t know what to do with myself. But I need to fight this, so I lean back in the chair and cross my legs, I’m not falling for this.

  Or am I?

  “Now, I asked you a question earlier.”

  “Oh, what was that?”

  “Are your nipples hard?”

  “I’m not having phone sex with you, Nash.”

  “Then why did you go get your vibrator?”

  “Who says I did?”

  “Turn it on, Shel. Let me hear it.”

  This guy …

  “It’s upstairs,” I lie.

  “Why are you fighting this? I hear your breathing, you’re as turned on as I am.”

  “And you’re in a room full of dudes, you need to watch yourself.”

  “You know, you’re right. I’ll be right there.” And he hangs up on me. Oh, no he isn’t, he can’t just leave the station, can he? Fuck, fuck, fuck. I look at the clock, and it’s ten p.m. His shift doesn’t end until six a.m., so I imagine it’ll be then before I see him. Lord, he better not show up here at six o’clock or I’ll have to smack him. I decide to send him a text:

  “Don’t you dare come over here.”

  “Too late.”

  “WTF?”

  The doorbell rings. Holy shit! He actually came over here, uninvited. Now, what do I do?

  “Open the door, Shel, I know you’re home,” I hear from outside the door. I look outside the window, and he’s standing there, in his navy t-shirt and cargos, and my mouth starts to water.

  I slowly open the door, and his heated eyes warm my entire body. “I thought I told you to get naked,” he says as he pushes the door open and backs me up against the wall, closing and locking the door behind him. “I don’t have much time, so let’s make the best of it,” he says as his mouth comes crashing down on mine, his tongue invading me before I can catch my breath. “Jesus, I’ve missed this.” His tongue sweeps across my bottom lip, and he sucks it between his teeth as his hand cups my breast. “I knew your nipples were hard, even if you didn’t answer my question.”

  “I didn’t—” But he stops me with his mouth again, his tongue ravaging me as if he’s starving. He lifts my arms above my head and holds them there with one hand, his other quickly unbuttoning my blouse.

  “If you’d gotten naked as I told you, we’d already be fucking.” I suck in a breath. “Now we have to waste time taking your clothes off,” he groans against me. He sucks the skin on my neck before stepping away, my arms still above my head even though he’s not holding them anymore.

  He finishes unbuttoning my blouse and his fingers pluck between my breasts, unsnapping my bra. “Love front clasp bras,” he says has he bends down and captures a nipple between his lips. His and runs up my hip and takes hold of the other one, my panties now soaked. “Are you wet for me?” he asks against my breast.

  “Yes,” I sigh, his fingers now tracing circles down my stomach, causing it to quiver. He runs his fingers between my legs.

  “Holy fuck,” he groans before pressing against my clit. My body feels heavy and weak, but he lifts one leg over his shoulder and plants his face between my thighs. “Fuck I’ve wanted this for so long,” he says as he tugs my panties to the side and slides his tongue between my folds.

  “Holy fuck,” I copy his words, his mouth devouring my cunt. His tongue twirls around my clit as he pushes two fingers deep inside, stroking and making me wetter than I think I’ve ever been. So wet I can feel it

  “That’s it beauty, spill for me.” He says against my pussy as his fingers work deeper and deeper, pulling the orgasm from me. Suddenly he stops and stands up, wiping his mouth on his arm. “Where’s Frank?”

  “Why do you need him?” I ask, he now is tugging me into the kitchen. “Now, sit down and put your feet on the table like a good girl,” he asks, finding Frank on the table. “See, I knew you went and got him, but since you wanted to be bad, you’ll have to be punished,” he says as he flips the switch and Frank rumbles to life.

  Next thing I know, Nash is under my kitchen table between my legs. He tugs my panties off and rubs the vibrator along my lips. “I’m gonna make you come so hard,” he says as he pushes those fingers back in deep and almost rough. He strokes in and out with purpose and reason, the vibrator pressing hard against my clit, but not quite hard enough.

  I feel the beginnings of an orgasm in my toes, and I scoot my ass closer to his face, my head back against the top of the chair. It’s not the most comfortable position, but I need to come so badly I don’t care. He removes the vibe and replaces it with his face, his tongue working overtime on my clit, his finger banging me to a whole new level. As my pussy starts to clench, he pulls back and puts Frank back onto my clit, flipping it into high speed. “Oh, fuck,” I groan, his fingers still stroking as my back arches and the waves of orgasm overtake my entire body.

  “That’s it, beauty,” he says as he watches my pussy intently as I come all over his face. “That was fucking amazing,” he says as he presses the vibe inside me, but I push back at the sensitivity. “What? You’re only going to come once tonight?” He pouts.

  “I can’t again. Not yet, I need to catch my breath,” I say as he crawls out from under the table and stands next to me as I put my feet on the floor. I spy the large bulge in his pants, and his hand finds it as he adjusts himself.

  “Now, next time I tell you to get naked, you get naked. Understood?” he says as he kisses me, and I taste my own essence. “Now, I’ll see you tomorrow at seven, be ready. And don’t forget the panties.” He smirks as he walks out of my kitchen, and out of the house. I’m left at my kitchen table with sticky thighs and out of breath.

  “Guess I’d better do what he says, or he’ll torture me again.” I smile. Because that was pure, sweet pain. And I can’t wait to see what else he’s got in mind, though I need to come up with some sort of revenge. He’s not going to torture me and get away with it. Two can play at this game, and I can damn sure bet I’ll win.

  I hope, anyway.

  Chapter 20

  As I stand inside my closet looking for something to wear tonight, I realize I’m way out of my league. If I’m going to get revenge on Nash, I need something hot. Something sexy. But as I stare at what’s hanging in my closet, I realize I need help. Hopefully, Sarah isn’t busy doing Dean and can come give me a hand.

  “Help!” I send her a quick text.

  “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, but…help!”

  “I’m on my way!”

  “Wait, what’s going on?” she replies again.

  “Hot date, need help.”

  I set the phone down and grab my tennis shoes and throw on a pair of jeans and t-shirt. We are going to have to go shopping, and I hate shopping, but it has to be done. Fifteen minutes later, Sarah bursts through my door in a frantic state and quickly climbs the stairs to my room.

  “Did you say hot date?” she asks as the door almost comes off its hinge.

  “Easy girl, I just built this place. Don’t go tearing it down on me.” I laugh.

  “Sorry, but did you say hot date?” she says, looking me up and down. “Oh, girl, you do need help.” She smirks. “To the mall!” she announces and leaves like some fucking superhero. I follow her down, and we jump in her car and head straight to the mall.

  “I don’t wanna go in,” I say, sulking in her car.

  “I’ve never understood how any woman doesn’t want to shop. Particularly for se
xy things for her man.”

  “I don’t usually have a man,” I say.

  “Because you don’t dress sexy enough. Tonight, though, you’re gonna knock his socks off. Where are you going anyway?”

  “Fuck, I have no idea,” I say as I pull my phone out.

  “Where are we going tonight?” I text him, knowing he’s probably asleep after his long shift.

  “Well hello, beauty. Sleep well?”

  “I did, yes. What about you?”

  “It’s hard to sleep with a hard-on.”

  “Sorry about that, you ran out before I could alleviate that little problem. Now, where are we going tonight?”

  “It’s a surprise.”

  “Nice, how am I supposed to dress?”

  “Won’t matter for long.”

  “Gosh, this guy is so frustrating,” I groan as I tuck my phone in my purse and get out of the car, slamming the door.

  “What did he say?” Sarah asks as she falls in line beside me as we head into Macy’s.

  “That it doesn’t matter, I won’t be dressed for long.”

  “Ooh, a secret rendezvous. I know what you need,” she says as I follow her like a lost puppy through Macy’s and into the mall. “There.” She points to Victoria’s Secret.

  “Oh, but I’m supposed—” I cut myself off. How do I tell her he wants me to wear those stupid vibrating panties that she bought me?

  “Supposed to what?”

  Ah, hell. “I’m expected to wear those vibrating panties you tried to force on me months ago, and Nash lifted them from you.”

  She jumps and claps like a little girl.

  “Stop that,” I say.

  “That’s good, though, they’re black and lacy. We’ll just find the pushup bra from hell, with a low-cut top and some three-inch fuck-me pumps. Throw those on with your tightest jeans, and you’ll be good to go. Casual but sexy.”

  “You want me to break my ankle? You know I don’t wear heels.”

  “Well, you are tonight,” she barks as we walk into Victoria’s Secret and she stalks straight for the bras. “What size are you?”

  “Thirty-four C,” I say as I cringe at what she’s looking at. She hands me three lacy black push-up bras and pushes me toward the fitting room.