Batteries Not Included: A Romantic Comedy

by Christa Lynn

  “Try these on, I’ll be right back,” she says as the door closes.

  I look at the first one, it’s a thirty-four B, “Sarah, it’s the wrong size.”

  “No, it isn’t, you always get these a size smaller.”

  “What the fuck? No, you’ve got it all wrong,” I say as she tosses a skimpy tank top over the door.

  “Just try it,” she groans as she walks off again. I pull my t-shirt off and my old ragged pink bra and stuff my boobs into the too small scrap of lace. The tops of my breasts hang over the top of the bra with my nipples showing.

  “Oh, hell no,” I say, taking the bra off. “Sarah!” I call out, but a sales assistant appears.

  “Can I help you?”

  “Yes, can you get me one of these in a thirty-four C? My friend got me the wrong size.”

  “Of course,” she says as she takes the bra over the door. I stand there in front of the mirror with no shirt on, my hands covering my tits. I start to scan the walls hoping there’s no peephole. I shake off the thought of being watched and wait for the saleswoman to bring me back the right size bra.

  “Here ya go,” she says as she dangles three bras over the door. “I brought a few others for you to check out too.”

  “Thank you,” I say as I take the skimpy lace bras and try them on, one by one.

  “How’s it going, girl?” I hear Sarah outside. I have on the one she brought me in the beginning, only in the right size. I like it, it shows off my shape, and it matches the vibrating panties entirely. “Open the door,” Sarah says.

  I crack the door just enough for her to see, but she pushes it open and marches right into my fitting room. “Girl, nice tits,” she says as she reaches up.

  “Down, girl,” I smack her hands down.

  “See I told you to go a size smaller, pushes those babies right up and over the top.”

  “Right, you’re so smart,” I heckle her.

  “Where did you get these?” she asks as her fingers trace the underwire of a white lacy bra.

  “Salesperson,” I say as I try and motion her out of the fitting room.

  “Hmm,” she responds as she exits as quickly as she walked in.

  “Freak,” I mumble. I try on the other bras and decide on the black one and a white one, for another time. I pay for them, and they wrap them up in the pink paper and send us on our way. “Where to now?”

  “Shoe store,” I groan as I follow her down the mall. She knows where she’s going, so I let her lead the way. We walk into this mall store; the music is blaring, and all of the employees are dancing as they work.

  “Good God,” I say as I scan the wall full of dangerous and horrible shoes.

  “What color shirt are you wearing?” Sarah asks me.

  “I have no idea,” I say in a fog as I stare at these ridiculously high heels. “People walk in these things?”

  “Not for long.” She smirks.

  “Sarah, I can’t …”

  “Oh, yes you can, and you will. Which ones do you like?”

  “These,” I point to a pair of pale pink ballerina type shoes.

  “Um, not sexy, Shel.”

  “Maybe not, but they’re comfy,” I say as I fold the shoe over. “Nice flexible sole, soft leather.”

  “Shelby! Snap out of it! We’re here to turn you into a sexy woman, not a cute little girl.”

  “But I like cute little girls,” I feign a cry. “Fine, I guess since I bought a black bra, a black shirt is needed. So, black shoes.”

  “Wrong, all black calls for a splash of color,” she says as she runs her finger down a sexy red, strappy sandal.

  “Red? Doesn’t that mean you’re a prostitute in some countries?”

  “Maybe,” she says as she grins, holding the shoe like she’s getting her picture taken with it.

  “Ugh, fine. Do you have this in a size six and a half?” I ask the salesperson, with my fingers crossed behind her back that they don’t have my size.

  “Let me see, I’ll be right back.” She turns and heads to the back room, quickly returning with a box.

  “Damn it,” I groan, but I slip the shoe on, and unfortunately it fits. I walk around the door, trying to keep my balance. “Ugh, my feet are going to kill me before this night is over,” I continue to complain.

  “Oh, suck it up, buttercup. You’ll be fine, they’ll be tucked behind Nash’s ears in no time.”

  “Either that or he’ll be carrying me,” I say as I slip them off and tuck them back into the box. “I’ll take them, I guess,” I say as Sarah smiles so bright. She’s enjoying this, watching me suffer.

  “Okay, one more stop,” she says as we re-enter the mall.

  “Great, what now?” I’m really starting to regret asking for her help.

  “With those legs, you will not hide them behind jeans.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Lacy black top, cute short black skirt and those red heels? Jeez, I’d fuck you.” She laughs.

  “Ha ha, hysterical,” I say as we walk into Macy’s and she starts rummaging through racks until she finds what she calls the perfect skirt. Then she finds the perfect black top, and I’m all set. “I’m gonna look like I belong on the street corner, Sarah.” I sigh as we walk back to her car.

  “Trust me, Shel. He’s gonna love it. And he’s gonna fuck you six ways to Sunday with you dressed like this.”

  “Has it ever occurred to you that maybe this isn’t all about sex?”

  “Oh, I know, but it’s the best part.” She smiles. We stop and grab a cup of coffee on the way home, and she drops me off at the back door. “Take pics and text me!” she says as she drives away.

  “I’ll get right on that.” I groan as I walk inside and toss my bags on the sofa.

  I glance at the clock and see that it’s already five o’clock, which means I have two hours to get ready, or to change my mind and throw on jeans and tennis shoes. Sarah would kill me, though, and I have to exact my revenge on Nash. After what he pulled in my kitchen last night, I have to make all these slutty clothes worth it.

  I shower and curl my hair, adding a dark red lipstick. So red it’ll leave a mark on his cock. I slip these vibrating panties on under my skirt, and I feel ridiculous, but I refuse to give in and not put them on. Nash will only hold me down and slide them up my legs, and all I want is for him to slide them down. I descend the stairs barefoot, because … heels. All I need is to trip over myself and end up on my head at the bottom. That’ll ruin a good night quick.

  I sit down and rub my hands together. “Why am I so nervous?” I ask myself. But before I can answer, I hear Nash’s truck rumble to the front and the door slam. “Shit,” I say as I slip on the stupid shoes and wobble my way to the door. “Get it together Shel,” I give myself a vote of confidence as I pass by the hall mirror. I stare at myself for a second and then get into character as if I’m auditioning for a movie.

  “Holy mother of God,” Nash groans as I open the door. His eyes travel from my red lips to my red shoes, and he shifts a little, but he shakes it off and steps forward and presses his lips to my neck. “Beauty,” he moans against my ear, “you know how to tempt a man, don’t you?”

  “You like?” I ask innocently as he grinds his now hard cock against my hip.

  “Fuck yeah, I like,” he says as these stupid panties come to life and I jump out of my skin. “Good girl, now let’s go.” He takes my hand and leads me down the steps to the street, slowly, so I don’t break my neck. These heels better be worth it in the end.

  He helps me into his monster truck and closes the door, adjusting his cock as he walks to the driver side. But as he opens the door, these fucking panties go off again. I left off a soft moan, and he smirks, but he climbs into the driver seat and the engine roars to life. Before he pulls off, he turns to me and runs his hand up my inner thigh, but stops before he gets to glory. I suck in a breath at his touch, and he leans into me, “Tease,” he smiles before putting the truck into gear and pulling
off into traffic.

  “You’re one to talk,” I argue. “Leaving me like you did last night.” I sigh, remembering how he made me come so quick.

  “You should have done what I asked,” he responds as the panties go off again. This time he leaves them on the entire drive. I squirm in my seat as I try to increase the pressure, but as we pull into the riverfront, they stop. I let off a huff of frustration, and he doesn’t say a word. He gets out and comes to my side and seductively lifts me out of the truck, my body sliding down his. “You feel that?” he groans as he thrusts his hips against me. “That’s what you do to me,” he moans.

  I let out a whimper, and he kisses me, collecting my moans with his tongue. We walk into the restaurant, and the hostess walks us to the back corner where it’s dark. I immediately see my opportunity to get my revenge as we’re seated. The table is small and cozy, so he sits across from me. We order, and while we wait, I pounce by kicking off my shoe and propping it between his legs, massaging his balls with my foot.

  “You’re evil, you know that?” He bites his lip. I smile innocently at him, but I don’t stop. His cock gets harder and harder under my foot, so hard that I know if I unzip his slacks, his cock will bounce out and greet me face first. But our food comes, and I remove my foot so we can eat.

  “How was your shift?” I ask, trying to make this date something other than the hot sex we’re bound to have later.

  “Not too bad, two car accidents and a heart attack. We were actually able to get some sleep.”

  “Good, anyone miss you last night?” I ask.

  “Nope.” He grins. “Though I had to jack off in the shower when I got back.”

  “Hmm, I would have liked to have seen that,” I purr, this conversation not going where I planned.

  “You’ll have your chance.”

  We finish eating and go for a walk along the waterfront, it’s a beautiful night with the moon and stars shining over the water. These fucking shoes are about to piss me off, but I must keep them on. For now. We stop along a retaining wall, and Nash backs me up to it, then lifts me on top of it. He places himself between my legs and rests his hands on my legs.

  “I’m so glad I ran into you at the coffee shop, I’ve missed you,” Nash says, a grave look on his face. “I know I should have told you about Jade, but I wasn’t ready. Selfish, I know.”

  “Look, I’m sorry too. I shouldn’t have automatically thought the wrong thing, it’s my fault too for not giving you a chance to tell me.”

  “Let’s make a promise, shall we? No secrets?”

  “Deal,” I say as he leans in and drops a soft kiss on my lips. A cool breeze blows through, and I shiver a little.

  “Are you cold?” he asks, pressing his warm body against me.

  “A little,” I reply. He smirks and starts up the vibrating panties again.

  “Then let me warm you up,” he groans as his fingers travel up my inner thigh again, this time not stopping until he slips his fingers inside them, pushing his middle finger inside me. “Damn, you’re wet already.”

  He starts to finger fuck me slowly, deliberately as those panties continue to vibrate. I reach down, pressing my hand against his now hardening cock. I slowly unzip his pants, and as I imagined in the restaurant, his cock springs free and right into my hands.

  He pulls me forward just a little, and before I can protest, he slides my panties to the side, pushing into me, stilling as I suck him in. “Fuck, I’ve missed this,” he whispers in my ear.

  “We’re outside,” I remind him. He pulls back and looks around.

  “We’re all alone, but we’ll have to make this quick,” he says as he pumps in and out. Suddenly, the speed increases on the panties, and I’m quickly close to coming. “That’s it, baby, come all over my cock.”

  My ankles are wrapped around his waist as he fucks me good and hard, and as I feel the beginnings of my orgasm, he stills and comes with me.

  “Fuck that was quick,” he breathes against my neck, but he slowly pulls out of me and tucks himself back into his pants, then repositions my panties and turns them off.

  “I don’t even know where you live,” I announce.

  “Well come on, I’ll show you,” he says as he slowly lifts me down off of the retaining wall. As we turn to make our way down the riverwalk, I hear my name called from one of the homes across the street. “Shelby?”

  I turn and instantly recognize the man outside smoking a cigarette. “Hello Mr. Anderson, how are you?” I say as I tentatively walk up to him. I’ve just been fucked down the street, and now my biggest client appears out of nowhere.

  “I’m doing well, thank you,” he says while he takes in my attire. He’s only seen me business conservative, so I’m a little uncomfortable. “Nash, how’ve you been?” he asks Nash, shaking his hand.

  “Good, sir,” he responds. I know he’s probably known in this community, but unsure how he knows Mr. Anderson.

  “Good, thanks for sending Shelby my way, son. She’s on top of my campaign, and I’m very pleased.”

  Nash’s eyes open and he steps back. “Wait, how do you two know each other?” I ask.

  “His dad and I went to college together. Nash here knew I was looking for an advertising firm and recommended you.”

  “I thought I got this account on my own,” I ask Nash, the guilt filling his eyes.

  “I just pushed him in the right direction,” he says as he swallows hard. He knows he’s in trouble.

  “I busted my ass for that account!” I bark. “I want to succeed on my own, Nash, I don’t need anyone interfering and propelling me to the top.”

  “Shelby, it wasn’t like that,” he says as he steps forward, but I’m angry right now, and I need a minute. I slip my shoes off and pick them up, “Please take me home,” I ask. “Never mind, I’ll call Sarah to come get me. You two look like you have some catching up to do.” And I turn and walk away.

  I worked hard to get where I am, how dare he interfere! “Shelby wait!” I hear him running up behind me. “Don’t be mad.”

  “Mad? I’m not mad, I’m disappointed. I wanted that account, but Michelle and I worked hard to get it, and then I find out you made it happen?”

  “Relax, he was going to hire you anyway. It just helped that I know you.”

  “You don’t know me, and I don’t really know you, do I?”

  “You know more about me than I’ve ever let anyone else know.”

  I sigh, dejected. I know I’m overreacting, he did say I had the account anyway … but still, I don’t like secrets. “Didn’t you just say something earlier about secrets? Well, you neglected to fill me in on this one.”

  “I’m sorry, Shel. I didn’t think it was a big deal.”

  “A big deal? It’s my job, Nash. And I’m damn good at it.”

  “I know, that’s why he hired you.”

  “Is that the only reason? What are we doing here, Nash?” I ask, totally rolling off the deep end.

  “I was going to tell you, but you never came back to the hospital.”

  “Ah, so it’s my fault, huh? Try again,” I bark. “I need some time, Nash,” I say as I walk away from what could be the biggest love of my life. And even though this was a small secret, isn’t that how it all starts? Little secrets turn into larger lies. That’s why I like my bubble, no secrets, and no lies.

  I walk barefoot to the main road and sit down on a bench. I pull out my phone and get ready to call Sarah when I hear a young girl scream.

  Chapter 21

  I stand up and look around, and across the street, I see smoke, with flames licking out of an upstairs window. “Nash!” I scream. “Nash!” I run back around and see him walking with his hands in his pocket. He hears me scream, and he looks up, “Nash, hurry!” I yell and run back toward the street, pulling out my cell to call nine-one-one.

  “What is it?” he asks, but then the little girl screams again, and he looks up, the flames reflecting in his eyes. “Stay here, call nine-one-one,” h
e says as he runs toward the house.

  “Nash, no!” I yell because he has no equipment. He’ll burn up in that house.

  “Nine one one, what’s your emergency?”

  “Yeah, there’s a house on fire. On Lockwood Street, across from the river.”

  “Okay, ma’am, is there anyone inside?”

  “I think so, I hear a young girl crying. And my boyfriend just ran inside to help,” I cry.

  “Ma’am, did you say someone just went inside?”

  “Yes, Nash. He’s CFP, but he’s in street clothes. Please hurry!”

  “Stay on the phone with me, help is on the way.”

  “Okay.” I don’t say anything else. I just watch and pray Nash comes out of there. I hear the sirens off in the distance, but he hasn’t come out yet. Smoke is billowing out of the roof line, and I listen to a crash, suddenly the roof no longer exists. I flash back to my own house burning to the ground, and I instinctively run toward the house in my bare feet, my shoes long gone.

  But as I get in front of the house, the fire trucks pull up, and I see Ray. “Ray! Nash went inside!”

  “What?” he says out of breath after he runs up to me.

  “Nash saw the fire and heard a little girl crying. He ran in to get her,” I cry as he speaks into his chest microphone and announces that one of their own is inside, as well as other people. They hook up the hydrant and start wheeling off the hose, and Ray and another guy walk into the front door, but the rest of the roof collapses and they back off, waiting for an opening.

  I sit down on the curb and watch and cry. “I’m bad luck,” I cry. I walked away from Nash, and then pushed him to go inside of that burning house. If he dies, I’ll wear his blood on my hands forever. I stare at the house, and the glow of the flames hypnotizes me, and as the smoke clears, I see him. He stumbles over the rubble, carrying the young girl who has a towel over her face.

  “Oh, my God,” I cry out. He hands the girl over to another EMT as Ray hands him a fire suit, but he spots me before he goes back inside. He stares at me before taking the back end of the hose, and they start putting out the fire.