by Judy Carroll
“Oh, God, Paco, this is where I get torn in two, truly! Earth human, Guardian human — life will be so much easier when we’re all One. As a Guardian I know we have to carry out this work, but I feel so sorry that we are so divided. Just last night I had to do some work on someone up on the disc, and when I entered the clinic he was lying on a table, able to move only his eyes. Knowing we have to restrain them for protection is one thing, but seeing the look of horror and loathing on his face was beyond words.
“I tried my best to communicate, to tell him not to be afraid and that we weren’t going to hurt him, but my thought waves couldn’t penetrate the thick cocoon of fear that surrounded him. I still feel upset just thinking about it. Oh, why can’t more humans be like you, and there are others, actually, who come up on the disc and are free to roam around and ask questions. It’s really quite pleasant then for all of us. Well, at least ones like Kaz and me can hopefully help sort things out down here, with assistance from people like you.”
As he got up to go, Paco put a comforting hand on my shoulder. “As you said a while back, Ali Cat, you and Kaz are ambassadors for your people, so I guess this is just a part of your diplomatic role, helping Earth humans understand and hopefully eventually feel better about the ET contact experience. And you’re right — I have come around to much clearer understanding. Now, I’ve got to run! I’ll be back late this evening if anyone calls.”
“Okay, see you later.”
Two days after Paco had spoken on the phone to Kate’s mother, Maddie, Paco, Kaz and I came together to discuss the situation. After doing a quick check of the computer files on the disc, I’d managed to confirm that this family was being contacted and were beginning to consciously recall significant parts of that contact. Many Earth humans are now being contacted, but most have not opened up enough consciously to remember and perceive the contact experience. Young Kate, like so many of the so-called Star Children, was regularly attending classes up on the disc, which was where she’d picked up her newly acquired abilities in mathematics.
As Paco had gathered from his telephone conversation with her, Maddie was a very friendly, open person who, much to his amazement and relief, reacted quite well to his suggestion that the activity in her home could well be ET initiated. Her reaction was actually one of relief, that here at last was somebody who was willing to believe her, and not immediately assume that she was either imagining things or, to put it in her own words, “completely off her rocker.”
At the same time she expressed amazement that a Catholic Priest, of all people, would be open enough to suggest such a thing. This prompted Paco to reassure her that he had in fact had personal contact experiences himself, as well as having a close relative and also another friend who’d had ongoing encounters with ETs. He then went on to tell her about Kaz, also a mother in a similar situation with a child.
“So,” said Paco, looking from me to Kaz and back again, “what now? Do you want me to arrange a meeting between the three of you?”
“Well,” I shrugged, “that would be the next step I guess. How about you Kaz? Do you feel okay with that?”
“I don’t see why not, but Paco, are you sure she’s ready to talk so openly? I mean to say, what are we going to do? Just jump straight in? I suppose it’ll be fine as long as we don’t let on we’re ETs ourselves. That would freak her out for sure. God I hope she doesn’t pick up on it or ask too many awkward questions.”
“Don’t you worry about that Kaz,” Paco grinned. “Just be your loveable, natural self and light up a cigarette or two in front of her. You could even blow a few smoke rings to introduce a bit of comedy to lighten up the atmosphere. And you, Ali Cat,” he added, turning to me with a wink, “tell her one or two of your favorite jokes and wear that awful t-shirt you got at the parish yard sale — the one with the questionable message printed across the front in large, red capital letters. She’ll never pick up on you two being ETs in a million years, believe me!”
“God, Ali,” said Kaz, turning her back on Paco and directing her remark exclusively to me, “that brother of yours is just brimming over with charm and compliments this morning, isn’t he!” With that she turned back, feigning total oblivion to Paco’s presence, and blew a long, pungent stream of smoke straight at him. His response was to madly flap one hand about in front of his face and clutch his throat with the other, all the while making disgustingly eloquent gagging noises.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, will you two knock it off!” I glared at the pair of them, trying hard not to laugh. “This is serious!”
With decorum finally restored and Kaz’s cigarette disposed of, Paco turned to her. “Kaz, what about you? Ali tells me you have children who are also involved in all of this. But I suppose as a Guardian yourself, it’s been easier for you to deal with the situation. At least you know what’s going on.”
“Actually, I didn’t at first. Unlike our Ali Cat here, I only came to conscious realization of who and what I am quite recently. I’ve always been vaguely aware through dream experiences of having contact with the ones known down here as the Greys, but this never worried or frightened me, it was just part of life, and the encounters were always positive. I tried to do my own investigations by reading up on the subject, but found many books to be quite off-putting, because ET contact seems to be generally viewed from either the ego perspective or the fear perspective.”
“How do you mean?” Paco asked.
“Well,” Kaz explained, “in ego-centered cases, the contactees see themselves as being specially chosen, usually by very perfect, totally human-looking Space Brothers, to spread ‘the message’ to the rest of humankind in order to ‘save the planet.’ They often seem to end up with a cult-like following, and it’s all too airy-fairy for my liking, not being into that sort of thing. Even the Space Brother image has never appealed to me. I always felt much more comfortable with the Greys, and now I know why — I am one!
“The fear-oriented contacts, on the other hand, always seemed to involve negative encounters with the so-called Greys, which also never felt right and in fact upset me a lot. These were, after all, the very ones I was having contact with, and during those contact experiences there was always so much love, and a deep sense of family connection between us. I clearly recall one such ‘dream’ encounter in which my Teacher enfolded me in his arms, wrapping his big, black cloak around me and giving me a hug. The feeling of love, total understanding and complete acceptance that passed between us was beyond words, and waking up to find myself alone and back here on Earth caused a deep sadness to remain with me for days after.
“Reading these books only made me doubt and question myself and to feel disempowered and uncomfortable. What used to go through my mind was that, if these beings were really demons, and as bad and negative as all these books were saying, and I felt so good and comfortable with them, then I too must be bad and negative on some deeper layer of my psyche. I knew very well that I wasn’t, but it was still disempowering and damaging to my self-esteem.”
Paco turned to me and said, “Ali, you’ve been through this sort of thing too, haven’t you?”
“I sure have! And it is very disempowering until you manage to bring the two parts of yourself — the Guardian part and the Earth human part — together. Once you’re able to do this consciously, you come to realize that what the so-called ‘abductees’ are going through in their seemingly negative and frightening contacts with ‘Greys’ is virtually a shamanic experience. It’s really all about what they need to clear internally in order to allow themselves to move forward — to expand and awaken spiritually. But there are far too many so-called experts on the encounter experience out there who simply refuse to acknowledge this, and that is where the crux of the problem lies.”
“Okay, so what you’re saying is that despite how seemingly frightening their experience seems at the time, the ones they think of as ‘Greys’ are really helping them. In fact, it’s a bit like a mother smacking her child to stop them rea
ching out to put their hand on a hot stove. Although the smack may cause hurt, both physically and also to their ego, it’s still a heck of a lot better than the potential serious injury that could result if the child weren’t given that correction by the mother.”
“Yes,” I answered, “that’s actually a really good way of putting it. Seemingly frightening contact with our people will be of benefit to Earth humans in the long run. Our job is to help people break free of the limitations of fear and disempowerment imposed on them by the Controllers. This breaking free is often not an easy or pleasant experience, but it is most necessary to awaken human consciousness to a state of more expanded awareness. It’s similar to a tribal rite of passage where the youth are exposed to realities beyond this one and they are forever changed.”
“Now,” Kaz put in, “what are we going to do about Maddie and Kate? I think you should call Maddie back, Paco, and arrange for the three of us to visit her. You need to be there, at least this first time, in your official capacity as a priest and also as the one they first approached for help. And I think she’ll feel better if we meet in her home. That way too we can get a feel of the place, you know, check out the energies of the family.”
“No problem, Kaz,” Paco grinned, giving her a mock salute, “you’re the boss on this one!”
top/bot
Chapter 34 Maddie
The following Monday afternoon found Kaz, Paco and me seated around Maddie’s kitchen table as she busied herself trying to make coffee. The poor lady’s nervousness was almost tangible, and it was obvious from the dark circles under her eyes that she hadn’t slept very well the night before. In fact I got a distinct impression that she’d missed an awful lot of sleep for quite some time.
Paco had called her a day or two before to organize our visit, which was arranged for a time when her husband and daughter would be at work and school. We’d all agreed that it would be better to talk to her on her own, at least for this first time. Maddie worked part-time, but this was one of her days off. A broken cup, two dropped teaspoons and a spilt carton of milk later, Kaz the eternal mother could stand it no longer. Stepping quietly to Maddie’s side, she put a comforting arm around her. “Come on, darl’,” she coaxed gently, “sit down, I’ll make the coffee.”
“I….I’m so sorry.” Maddie stammered, almost on the verge of tears. “I really don’t know what’s wrong with me. Despite all that’s happened here over the past six months I’ve managed to stay reasonably calm. A couple of times in the middle of the night with Kate I thought I was going to lose it — but I didn’t — I got through it; both of us got through it. But now, now I’ve finally found someone to talk to who’ll believe me — now I lose it!” With that she burst into a torrent of tears.
I’ve never been all that good with emotional humans, but Kaz’s hands were full with coffee-making, and it wasn’t really appropriate for Paco to give her a hug, so I put my arms around her to provide a shoulder to cry on. She took full advantage of it, sobbing her heart out while I desperately tried to remember if I had a tissue or handkerchief on me. Sensing my dilemma, Paco came to my rescue with a paper towel. We eventually managed to calm her down and get her seated at the table, and Kaz put a strong cup of coffee in front of her, encouraging her to take a sip, assuring her it would make her feel better. Paco meanwhile, ever practical, left the kitchen only to reappear moments later with a half-bottle of brandy he’d found somewhere.
“Here you go, Maddie.” he patted her on the shoulder and poured a generous dollop into her coffee. “This’ll make you feel better!”
“Just watch him, love,” said Kaz with a cheeky wink, “he’ll have you up dancing on the table yet.” Unable to resist Kaz’s warmth and humor, a smile spread across Maddie’s face and she visibly relaxed, probably for the first time in ages. After a few sips of brandy-laced coffee, she looked a whole lot better, but taking our cue from Paco we didn’t press her. She needed to feel comfortable and relaxed with us, so the three of us just made small talk for a while, letting her settle and allowing her the space to get her thoughts in order. It was only then that Paco began, very gently, “So Maddie, has anything else happened here since we spoke the other day?”
Watching her closely I noticed her hands begin to tremble slightly as she answered, “Yes, as a matter of fact, there was some ‘activity’ last night. As you can probably see, I didn’t get much sleep.”
Paco gave her an encouraging look. “Do you want to tell us about it?”
“Well, really,” she shrugged, “there’s not much to tell — just a strange, bright light coming in through the skylight in the lounge, then the TV started going funny again, as is always happening lately. Lucky it seems to right itself by the next day or we’d be paying out a fortune in repair bills. Then about midnight Kate came in crying to Geoff and me with the usual story of a black-clad figure in her room. She was absolutely terrified, so it took a while to calm her down, then she insisted that she couldn’t sleep on her own, so Geoff went into her room, as usual, and she settled down with me.”
“And did your husband get a good night’s sleep in Kate’s room?” Paco enquired.
“Actually, no,” Maddie replied, on the verge of tears again. “He could feel a presence there, and he couldn’t sleep. Then at some point he awoke with a fright thinking someone, or something was touching him on the foot.”
“So he’s open to all of this and aware that something is really going on? He doesn’t dismiss it as an over-active imagination on Kate’s part?”
“Oh, no, Father Lopez! Geoff has no problem believing us. He’s seen the figures and the lights himself, but he just doesn’t know how to deal with it, and often won’t even discuss it. This makes it really hard for me. It’s as if he’s in some kind of denial, and so usually leaves me to deal with the situation on my own, but now I’m totally worn out. I can’t take it any more and neither can Kate.” Tears welled in her eyes and I reached out and took her hand, assuring her that now we were here and she was not alone anymore with her problem.
Then I sensed a wave of emotion from Kaz, and I was surprised to see her eyes bright with tears that she was obviously struggling hard to control. I was aware of the fact that she’d been through some similar dramas with her young son Ben, but thought that now, with full understanding of who and what she was, this would have been resolved — but obviously not. Maddie’s dilemma was stirring things up again for her.
Then the moment passed as Maddie turned to Paco with a question. ‘Father, what I still don’t understand is how you can be so sure the activity here isn’t being caused by poltergeists, or evil spirits of some sort. After all, the figures we see are all dressed in black, and with hats or hoods pulled down so we can’t see their faces. What makes you think they’re aliens, and how do you know that they’re not evil?”
I inwardly winced at the word “alien.” How I hated this term that conjured up such feelings of ‘them and us,’ when in truth we are all One. Luckily Paco was there to step in calmly and answer her question, because at that moment I was struggling with my own unresolved issues.
“Well, Maddie,” he replied, “I began to suspect it was ET activity by a couple of things you told me. Admittedly there are very close parallels between what people call poltergeists, and ET contact. For example the electrical interference, and the strange noises and lights; but the fact that it actually got worse after your friend cleansed the house with Reiki was mainly what made me think of ETs. Ali here has been doing Reiki for many years. In fact, she teaches it and has used it successfully on several occasions to clear negative energy in the form of ghosts out of houses, haven’t you, Ali?”
“Yes!” I answered, turning to Maddie to explain. “Reiki is a very potent high-frequency energy that clears negativity and brings good vibes back into a house or wherever there’s a problem with disharmonized energy. It doesn’t hurt the ghost, but rather heals and rebalances its energy, which in turn releases it so it can move on to where it’s supposed to
be. If it were a ghost or some sort of negative poltergeist energy causing your problems, Reiki would definitely have eliminated it. The ET visitors, however, love it, because they’re also of a higher-vibrational frequency and, in fact, they’re attracted by it, recognizing it for what it is.”
“So,” Paco continued, “that’s one of the reasons why I think it’s ET contact that we’re dealing with here, and the way you describe the figures as being dressed all in black with a hat or hood pulled down over their faces. All of us, myself included, have had close encounters with the ETs known on Earth as the Greys, or ‘Zetas.’ They’re the ones with the sometimes small, but also sometimes very tall, thin bodies, long, triangular-shaped faces and very large, dark, almond-shaped eyes.
“The reason they cloak themselves in black and cover their faces is for disguise. They know how scared people, and particularly children, could be to see them as they are, so they cover themselves to lessen the shock of their appearance. Once you become more accustomed to their presence, they gradually lift the hat or hood back to let you see them properly. I don’t think they even realize how potentially scary they look, dressed like that, but they do know humans would be afraid of their strange physical appearance. They’re very aware of how much difficulty some humans have with anyone who looks different.”
“But for heaven’s sake,” Maddie protested, “why do they dress in black? Why not in white? People associate black with evil, death and misfortune, whereas white is associated with goodness and purity. Don’t they know that?”
“Well, actually, Maddie,” Paco replied, “that doesn’t even apply with all cultures on Earth. In some traditions it’s the other way around. And anyway, look at us priests and nuns — we traditionally wear black, but we aren’t associated with evil, death and misfortune — at least hopefully not!” he added with a grin, and turning to me. “Ali, you know more about the Grey teachers than I do. Is there any special significance in their choice of black clothes?”
