Osmosis

by Susan X Meagher

  “You can call any time,” Anna Lisa said. “And I’ll call you every week. I hate the fact that I can’t put you over my knee and spank you to get you to do what I want, but I suppose those days are over.”

  Mia laughed. “You didn’t spank me very often, and I’m absolutely sure it never did any good.”

  “Maybe not. But it made me feel like I was doing something! Sometimes you had me at the end of my rope!”

  “I think the last time you spanked me was when you caught me trying to cross El Camino Real.”

  Anna Lisa looked at Jordan. “That road is basically a highway! And this little one was trying to dash across it in the middle of the road. I spanked her so hard my hand hurt for days!”

  Jordan’s eyes were wide, but Mia was laughing. “I’d gotten off the school bus and was supposed to walk home. But I wanted to cross the street to buy some candy. Mom unexpectedly drove down to get me and the fur flew! I’m surprised she didn’t whack me right then and there!”

  “I would have if I could have!”

  “And you didn’t just hit me with your hand,” Mia said. “When your hand got sore you hit me with a metal spatula. I thought you were gonna kill me! I should never have let you catch me in the kitchen.”

  Anna Lisa laughed along with her daughter. “I’m surprised the neighbors didn’t call the police. I was yelling at you, you were screaming at the top of your lungs … it was mayhem!”

  “It was,” Mia agreed. “Dad was mad at you for hitting me so hard.”

  “I never should have done that while I was so scared and angry. I think that’s why I never did it again.” She patted Mia’s butt. “But I think it made an impression.”

  “It did. It didn’t stop me, though. A couple of weeks later, when I knew you weren’t home, I did it again. I almost got hit by truck, though, so I never did it again.” Mia started to laugh at the befuddled look on her mother’s face. “You should have known by then that the best way to get me to do something was to forbid it.”

  Chuckling, Anna Lisa said, “It’s amazing I have one dark hair on my head. This child made me old before my time!”

  “But … she’s so … easy-going,” Jordan said, looking bewildered.

  “She doesn’t know you very well yet,” Anna Lisa said to her daughter. “Poor thing.”

  The trio ate together, both Mia and Jordan complimenting Anna Lisa on her experimentation. “It’s just a Waldorf salad,” she said. “Simple as pie.”

  “And everything in here is on my approved list?” Jordan asked.

  “Uh-huh. I put the tofu in the blender with lemon juice and a speck of olive oil to make the dressing. It isn’t as good as mayonnaise, but it’s not half bad if I do say so myself.”

  “It’s so much better than a plain green salad,” Jordan said. “But I shouldn’t really have the olive oil.”

  “You’re a young woman,” Anna Lisa said. “And you look like you just stopped growing about ten minutes ago. You need some fat in your diet. Don’t let people tell you what to do when it doesn’t make sense. You have to judge things for yourself. Be your own boss.”

  Jordan smiled at her, then snuck a glance at her lover, who grinned back. “I didn’t get my independent streak from the wind,” Mia said, chuckling.

  After lunch, Mia suggested going for a drive. “I’ve wanted to do that Gold Belt tour I read about,” she said. “I think the roads are all clear now. Anyone up for it?”

  “Sure,” Jordan said. “It’s about time we got out of this apartment. Anna Lisa?”

  “Anything you two want is fine with me. I’ve never been here before.”

  “Neither have we,” Jordan said, chuckling.

  They took Mia’s car after Anna Lisa found out that much of the drive was on gravel roads. “I know how your mind works, Mia,” her mother said. “But the rental car companies check for damage, and I’m not paying for a new … whatever the bottom of the car is called.”

  “Oh, they’d have to get down on the ground to check that. Let’s take the rental and have some fun!”

  “Mia!” Jordan looked at her like she was a stranger. “We can’t do that!”

  “I’m kidding, honey.” She put her arm around her waist to give her a squeeze, and was only slightly upset to see her mother turn her head.

  The scenic drive gobbled up the entire afternoon. Since none of them had experienced much of the inherent beauty of Colorado Springs they pulled off at every opportunity to get out and smell the crisp, clean air and marvel at the stark but alluring grandeur of the scenery. It was getting dark when they drew near Colorado Springs and Anna Lisa said, “Let me treat you to dinner. Where’s your favorite restaurant?”

  “Uhm …” Mia looked at Jordan. “Have we been anywhere besides the place at the end of the street?”

  “No, I don’t think we have. I guess we’re not very good resources.”

  “You two have honestly not been out for a good dinner?”

  “No. We eat at home,” Mia said. “We don’t like to throw our money away.”

  “Have you even heard of any nice places?”

  “No. None of the other women go out, either. We’re all poor.” Mia’s face lit up in a bright smile. “I know someone who’s not, though.” She pulled her cell phone out of her jacket and handed it to Jordan. “Call Jamie and ask her where to eat. She’ll know.”

  Dialing, Jordan asked, “Has she been here before?”

  “Doesn’t matter. She’ll know.”

  As expected, Jamie made a few recommendations. She had to resort to the Internet to pull it off, but Mia knew her friend would never disappoint when it came to finding a restaurant. They decided on a place that specialized in seafood, since that was Jordan’s usual protein. The place was nice … much nicer than Mia would have ever chosen to spend their money on. “We could go someplace less expensive,” she whispered to her mother while the man at the reservations desk discretely assessed them.

  “Don’t be silly. Since when do you even notice how much things cost?”

  “Since I have to pay for them. We try to live on $200 a week.”

  The maitre d’hotel began to lead them to a table, and when they were seated, Anna Lisa said, “You live on $200 a week?”

  “We try to,” Jordan said. “But it usually ends up closer to $250.”

  “You only spend $250 a week?” Anna Lisa gaped. “$250 for food and entertainment?”

  “No,” Mia said. “For everything. Rent, utilities, cell phone, gas, car insurance, food … everything.”

  “You spent more than that on clothes in Berkeley.”

  Mia shrugged. “I’m not going to run through Jordan’s savings, Mom. We do all right.”

  “But you’re not doing anything fun! You don’t go out and enjoy this beautiful town!”

  “We’ll go out more now that it’s warm. We can go hiking and do things like that. And there are things at the university that are really cheap.”

  “Mia, I don’t want you to live like a pauper.” She reached into her purse and took out her wallet. “I’m giving you back your charge cards.”

  But Mia didn’t reach for them. “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea. I … don’t want to feel like you’re …” She looked away and shook her head. “It’s not a good idea.”

  The waiter came and delivered water and menus, and before he had taken two steps Anna Lisa said, “You don’t want to feel like I’m what?”

  “Nothing,” Mia said. She felt Jordan’s hand grasp her knee and give it a gentle squeeze.

  “You have something to say. Now say it!”

  “I don’t want to argue,” Mia said quietly. “And I don’t want everyone in this place to hear us.”

  “Fine,” Anna Lisa whispered. “Then tell me what’s on your mind.”

  Mia shot a look at Jordan, then met her mother’s gaze. “I know you don’t approve of … us. You don’t want me to live here, and you think I’m making a big mistake. I don’t want to take your money and com
e to rely on it again. I think it’s better if we keep it clean between us.”

  “Clean? What does that mean?”

  “It means,” Mia said, scooting her chair closer to her mother’s, “that we have to learn how to be more like … friends. If you give me money that gives you a right to say how I spend it. I don’t want it to be like that again.”

  “You’d rather live in that terrible apartment?”

  Mia saw Jordan start to slump in her chair. She knew her partner hated to be involved in any kind of argument, so she decided to stop it before it began. “New topic,” she said. “We can talk about anything but finances.”

  “But …!”

  “Later, Mom. We can talk later. But I won’t talk about this during dinner. You’re being very generous and I don’t want to ruin the best meal I’ve had since I’ve been here!”

  Despite Mia’s edict, the mood at the table was fairly upbeat. Both she and Jordan raved so exuberantly over the well-prepared meal that Anna Lisa wasn’t able to stay angry. Jordan ate very slowly, even though Mia teased her about her pace. “You normally eat so fast that sparks fly.”

  “This is just soooo good. I don’t know how they kept this salmon so moist without any butter or oil.”

  “You don’t need anything on a good piece of fish,” Anna Lisa said. “As long as it’s very fresh, just a little lemon is perfect. Do you have a good fish store?”

  “There might be one, but we don’t go there,” Mia said. “We just go to the local grocery store. I only buy fish if it’s on sale.”

  “It’s on sale because it’s old! Don’t ever buy fish on sale, honey!”

  “It’s the only way we can afford it, Mom. It’s not spoiled or anything. It’s just usually pretty boring stuff. Frozen whitefish or turbot. Nothing very exotic.”

  Anna Lisa opened her mouth to speak, then shut it. She turned to Jordan. “Tell me about this traveling you two are going to be doing.”

  “Oh! Uhm … well, we’re going to Moscow in two weeks.”

  “That sounds exciting. How long will you be there?”

  “Almost a week … including two travel days.”

  Frowning, Anna Lisa said, “Only five days then. Well, you can still see a lot in five days. Moscow is a big city, but if you plan well you can get a good feel for it.”

  “I don’t think we’ll be able to see much, Mom. At least Jordan won’t.”

  “But … why?”

  “I won’t have anytime,” Jordan said. “We’ll play every day, and we won’t know what time we’ll be playing until the day before the match. If we play late, we go early to watch the other match, and if we play early, we stay to watch the other match.”

  “But that won’t give you any time at all! You’re going all that way just to be in a gym?”

  Giving her a half-smile, Jordan nodded. “I’ve traveled a lot during my career, and just about all I can describe are airports and gyms. They have some very nice ones in Italy.”

  “You honestly don’t get to do any sight-seeing?”

  “Not really. And if we do … it’s something arranged for us. You know … for publicity. Volleyball is a big sport in Russia, so they’ll probably troop us somewhere for a photo-op.”

  “What will you do, Mia?” Anna Lisa asked.

  “I’ll look around a little. But I want to go to Jordan’s matches. So I’ll try to go to a museum or something before or after she plays.”

  “You’ll be able to go to some interesting restaurants won’t you? After your games?”

  Jordan shook her head. “I’ll have to eat with the team. They keep us on a short leash when we tour. They’re always afraid we’ll eat something that disagrees with us.”

  “But … that’s the point of travel! Doing something different!”

  “This isn’t really travel,” Jordan said, looking a little puzzled. “We’re just playing volleyball in a different place. It’s all about the game. But Mia can do whatever she wants. I’d love for her to really get out and see the city. It’s fine with me if she doesn’t come to any of the matches.”

  “Jordan! Why would I travel half-way around the world and not come to your games?”

  “I want you to do what makes you happy,” Jordan said, staring into her eyes. “Whatever that is. If you want to go on some all-day tours … that’s what I want you to do.”

  Gazing back into her eyes, Mia smiled, shaking her head. “You’re not getting rid of me. Even in Moscow, I’ll be sitting there watching your every move.”

  “You …” Anna Lisa make a dismissive gesture with her hand when both women looked at her. “Never mind. I just hope you both have a good time. Your father and I went to Russia for a few days when we went to an international law conference a couple of years ago, Mia. I’ll let you know the names of a few places I really enjoyed.”

  “Thanks, Mom. I’ll figure out a way to get a little tourist action in. But Jordan’s what I’m most interested in seeing.”

  On the way back to their apartment, Anna Lisa said, “Can I talk you into going to church with me in the morning, honey?”

  Mia started to cough, then it became apparent that she was choking. She pulled over and Jordan slapped her on the back. “Whew!” She leaned her head back and said, “You almost killed me.”

  “I’ll go if you don’t want to, Mia,” Jordan said, her expression a mixture of bafflement and concern.

  Laughing, Mia said, “My mother hasn’t been to church since I was born!” She turned and stared at Anna Lisa, who was sitting placidly in the back seat. “What’s going on?”

  Her mother shrugged her shoulders. “I was moping around the house a few weeks ago and had the urge to go. It’d been a while …”

  “A while! You stopped going before you got married!”

  “Like I said,” Anna Lisa continued, looking at Jordan, “It had been a while, but I remembered how much I used to enjoy going to church. I decided it was silly to let a little argument keep me from doing something I liked.”

  Jordan cast a nervous glance at her partner. “Uhm … sounds good to me.”

  “You went to Mass?” Mia asked again.

  Anna Lisa laughed. “Of course not! The Catholic Church could hand out gold bouillon instead of communion and I wouldn’t step foot into one of those dumps! I went to a nice Unitarian Universalist church. I don’t know much about it, but it doesn’t even seem Christian. They don’t mention God.”

  “Oh. Well, I guess I don’t have to call in an exorcist,” Mia chuckled. “I’ll go with you if you’re sure I don’t have to confess my sins or anything.”

  “I’ll go, too,” Jordan repeated.

  “No way! That’s the last thing you want to do on Sunday morning. That’s your only day to sleep in.”

  “I don’t mind. Really.”

  “I’ll go, Mom, but Jordan’s gonna stay home and sleep.”

  “How about breakfast?” Anna Lisa said to Jordan. “We can come get you after church.”

  “Great. That’ll be great,” Jordan said.

  Anna Lisa chuckled. “Now Mia just has to get out the phone book and figure out where the nearest least Catholic church is!”

  Mia spent a little time on the Internet, searching for a church and easy-to-follow directions. She and Jordan were lying in bed, and she scooted closer when Jordan started stroking her back, languidly letting her hand drift across her skin. “About done?” Jordan asked.

  Turning to look at her, Mia saw not desire in the clear blue eyes, but utter fatigue. She nodded and saved the page of directions so she could take another look at it in the morning. Quickly shutting down her computer, Mia set it on the floor and shifted so she and Jordan were face to face. She extended her arms, and Jordan slid into them, resting her head on Mia’s breast. “Very tired,” Jordan said, her voice soft and slow.

  “Go to sleep, baby. You’ve had a long day.” She could tell Jordan was fighting to stay awake, so Mia started to massage her back—a surefire knockout recipe. “Close th
ose pretty eyes and listen to my heart beat.”

  Jordan started to breathe heavily, but her body jerked roughly just a minute later. “Are you okay?” she asked, her voice sounding anxious to Mia’s trained ears.

  “Sure. Sure I am. There’s nothing to worry about, Jordy. Just close your eyes and sleep.”

  “But …” Jordan extricated herself from the embrace and looked into Mia’s eyes. “Are you sure? I know today was hard for you. Don’t feel like you have to keep things to yourself. If you’re upset, we can talk about it.”

  Mia gazed at her, finding her stomach doing a flip when she looked into her lover’s eyes. Jordan was so sincere, so concerned for her that it nearly made her light-headed. “Today was tough,” she admitted, “but it was good, too. Seeing my mom made me feel her love again.” She pulled Jordan down and kissed her. “I’ve missed her and my dad so much that it’s too much for me to … I don’t know … I guess … take it all in. You know?”

  “Yeah.” Jordan kissed her, moving her lips slowly and softly all across Mia’s face. “I know, honey.”

  “It’s gonna take me a little while to think about everything she said and how we interacted. But that isn’t bad. It’s gonna be good in the long run.” Mia looked into Jordan’s eyes and was touched to see so much empathy in them. She knew that Jordan didn’t really have any idea how it felt to have such a strong pull towards and aversion to her mother, but Jordan knew her well enough to be able to experience it second-hand. She pressed her lips to her partner’s. “Sleep now. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

  “Sure?” In seconds, Jordan was snuggling against Mia again, getting into her favorite sleep position.

  Mia kissed her golden hair. “Positive. I want you to sleep for at least ten hours. You’ve got to let this beautiful body repair itself.” She rubbed her hand along Jordan’s flank, feeling her ribs and hip bone right under the skin. “You don’t have much fuel in this pretty tank.”

  “Mmm.” Jordan sighed and snuggled closer, a contented smile on her face. “I love you.”