Fosters: Blackhawk

by L. Ann Marie

  Rob is standing there. Shit. "I didn't mean to startle you."

  "You shouldn't be in here." I'm pissed.

  "I just wanted to see where your pretty head would be sleeping. You know, get a mental picture." He has a smile but it's fake. I have nothing to say to that so I just look at him. He turns and walks to the center of the room. I follow but stay away from him. "I love the colors, it's comforting and strong."

  "Why are you here Rob?" I'm more comfortable in here but still not letting my guard down.

  He walks to me stopping right in front of me. "You're making me crazy. I can't stop thinking about you and me in that bed." He bends to kiss me. I step back and he steps with me putting his mouth on my lips. I grab his hand and duck. Twisting around I bring his hand up his back.

  "Telling you you shouldn't be in here didn't work, stepping away from you didn't work, does this work for you Rob?" I'm screaming at him.

  "What the fuck CJ. It was just a kiss." He's breathing hard. I pull his hand up higher.

  I'm pissed now, the slimy bastard. "Saying seeing me in that bed with you was just a kiss? I am not some little girl you can overwhelm with you fake friggin charm. You were NOT invited here. You have no right saying those things to me. Get out and wait until we extend an invitation. This is a group home. ALL ARE NOT WELCOME ANYTIME THEY CHOOSE!" I scream and push him toward the door.

  Oh fuck! Danny is standing there. "I got this CJ. Good job keeping you safe." He pulls Rob out by his vest. I sit on the bed. Oh shit that wasn't good. Are they all going to think they can get appreciation from me?

  "No CJ that's just Rob. He is no danger to you." Christian sits by me taking my hand.

  I look at him. "Did you see this?" He friggin nods. "You should have told me."

  "No, telling you made it worse. You handled it right. The MC won't hurt you CJ. They make life better for you and us." He's so friggin grown up.

  I hug him. "That wasn't the trouble was it?" He shakes his head no. Fuck!

  Rob

  Holy fuck she's a hellcat! I can't do anything but let her break my fuckin arm. I started this and I knew it was wrong. She's got me acting fuckin nuts. After she screams bloody murder she pushes me. Fuck, I stumble at the sight of Danny standing there. What the fuck? Is he interested in her too? Fuckin Kate is going to love this.

  He pulls me out by my fuckin vest. "Let me go Brother I'm leaving."

  "I don't think I will Rob. Not until we're outside and I can see you." He pushes me out the door and off the fuckin porch.

  "What the fuck? It was just a kiss." I tell him standing up. He watches me.

  "I don't know what the fuck that was but telling her you wanted to see you both in her bed isn't just a fuckin kiss." He's fuckin pissed.

  I need to calm him down so he doesn't shoot me or put me in the fuckin hospital. "Brother, I didn't know you were interested. I wouldn't have come over."

  His hand hits my face. Fuck I didn't even see him move. I hold my face. "You should know me better than that Rob. Never, would I disrespect Kate that way. You crossed that line coming here. Just like she said, this is a group home; you need background clearance in order to be here with the kids. You walked into a woman's bedroom uninvited, you wouldn't take no for an answer. What the fuck are you thinking?"

  Fuck! "I did, I did all that but she never said no. She took a step back but never said no."

  "The fuck Rob, semantics? The step back was the no. When the fuck did you start this shit? You of all people know what crossing that line is. We trust you with our families and now learn that you have no boundaries?" He looks shocked.

  "Fuck Danny it's not like that. She never said no to me, she just went off." I put my hand up and he steps away.

  He shakes his head as if to clear it. "I'm not doing this here. Call Pres, tell him we need to meet tonight at Security." He fuckin turns and walks away. Fuck!

  CJ

  Danny stands at my door. He's watching Christian. "This wasn't it buddy?" Christian says no. He looks at me. "No MC is in your house without permission from you. You are not obligated to let anyone in. The top officers have clear CORY's. I'll have Digs email you the list of clear Brothers. If you’re not comfortable with them just tell them. They won't set foot in the door. Yeah?"

  "Yeah. Thank you." I take in a breath and smile down at Christian.

  "CJ I need an incident report on what happened. It doesn't have to be elaborate just what happened." I nod and get up.

  I just put my pen down when Brantley yells 'dinner'. I laugh when I see the table. It's set and decorated for our dinner. There's even a cake in the middle with a big one on it. I bring the page to Danny and hug him. "Please tell them we say thank you." He nods and calls his boys. Jessie and Darren hug me.

  Little Ben waits until I finish signing to Darren. He hugs me last. "You'll be happy here CJ. Trust in the Brotherhood. We'll help when you need it." He waits for me to acknowledge that. When my brain stops being stunned I nod. Friggin kids are too much. Everyone yells thank you's and goodbyes. I slump down in my chair. Holy crap this has been a hell of a day.

  Christian laughs on the side of me. "Glad you're not still swearing." He says softly. Friggin kids. Everyone is laughing and talking at the same time. After cake we clean up. Our well-oiled machine works perfect; cleanup is a breeze with the dining room closer to the kitchen.

  I tell the kids to start showers but they drag me to their bathroom. It's a friggin three shower locker room with friggin lockers for their soaps and towels. There are even two urinals and two stalls. I laugh with tears falling down. Holy shit. I clean my face and go back downstairs. This is surreal. Where here but it feels like a dream. Joey is happy to hang in her room; she found a new laptop on her desk. I find deals on eBay for their computers and games but everything I get is old. She's got a brand new laptop and I'm excited for her. She deserves every bit of it.

  I laugh and go to the office. I need to look at the file that is marked 'house'. The computer is a huge touchscreen. I love it. I read through the file amazed at all the features and handbooks that are in there.

  I click on the file named 'from Danny'. He lists everything he told me today that I was too overwhelmed to hear. We'll have no electric bill. Dry, paper goods and office supplies will be delivered on the first of every month. He writes that I attach the list (in another file) with the items I need checked to the email giving conformation that it's ok to deliver on the day specified, he says sometimes weather changes the delivery date. There's a card in my top drawer for gas (from the Baxter's), and the MC garage will do regular maintenance on the van, they'll call with a reminder. I keep reading with tears falling. He lists the structural work that was done and the codes to the locked rooms. A cleaning company will call me this week to setup cleaning when the kids are in school. They will come once a week thanks to the Women's Center. Cakes for birthdays will be supplied by the Bakery; they need a couple of days advance warning. The jewelry and clothing store has a five hundred dollar credit for me every year. The PD and Club will restock toys and outdoor activities every Christmas and the Security Office will keep our technology updated.

  I scroll down and sob. They're going to work on the other house next week. He's putting an addition of a common room downstairs and two bedrooms upstairs. He needs room for Cindy's bathroom and a supply room. They will get the same services from the Club that this house does. Holy shit. I laugh thinking it’s a good thing the rapist picked my house. I am so fuckin off it’s not funny.

  "I'm not sure if you’re laughing or crying."

  I jump a friggin foot off the chair. My knee hits the top. "Fuck! Mo you scared me." I say rubbing my knee. "I'm doing both. The MC and Baxter's are friggin unbelievable. They're our new sponsors." I don't share more with him; finances aren't shared with the assistants.

  He nods and sits. "So I met Rob, who is this Cloud the boys are telling me about?" He says it normal but I get a shiver. He's looking at me weird. I've never dated while he's been here
so maybe this is him concerned.

  "Cloud is the man I'm seeing. Rob is the man, that wants to be the man, I'm seeing." I guess he wasn't here earlier when I was screaming at Rob. I’m not going to get into my personal life with him. He already lives here and sees enough.

  “That’s it, just the guy you’re seeing? I’ve been gone a week and the house is brand fuckin new and you have two guys chasing you around. Someone paid for all this stuff. What did you have to do for it CJ. I would have helped if you were having trouble.” He says pissed.

  “What the hell Mo? I don’t owe you explanations. You’re an assistant in my house not my father. I don’t owe anyone anything and I certainly don’t owe you explanations! I would have told you what happened if you would have just asked. I’m not going through this twice in one day so you’ll have to wait on the story. Right now I’m busy reading about the updates for the City house. I’ll see you tomorrow afternoon when you’re on.” I take a deep breath and look back at my monitor making believe he left. He finally does leave and I slump in my chair. What the hell is going on lately? Everyone has lost their friggin minds. Maybe it is something in the water.

  I go up and check on my little boys, it’s their bedtime. I wonder how this is going to work with them all in the same room. Walking in the door I see it will work perfect. Danny thought of everything. Soft light is lighting the floor under every house. The plank walkway is lit the same. Light is on in all the houses.

  Walking over to my little guys I climb up in their house. “I love your new house J’s.”

  They laugh. “We do too.” Jacob says. “We have a safe room. Danny said only you know about it so we’ll always be safe.” He sounds so happy.

  I kiss his head then Jeremy’s. “That’s right my little men. You go in your room when you need it. No matter what, that room will keep you safe. It only works when no one else knows about it. So make sure you keep it to yourselves.” They look so serious I laugh and hug them. “It’s time for bed; do you think you’ll be ok here tonight?”

  “Yes, Christian is right over there. He’s leaving his door open for us. We could go in the safe room if we get scared. We’re ok CJ.” Jacob says, they’re both smiling.

  “I love you my little men. You’re getting to be big boys. I’m not going to be able to call you little boys anymore.” I hug them sliding out of their house. They look so proud; I’m going to have to work on that. I go to Taylor’s house and peek in, he’s reading. I lean in and kiss his cheek. He smiles looking up at me. “Goodnight Taylor. I’m so excited for you; they put a lamp for you to read.”

  “They thought of everything CJ. It’s an awesome room. Night.” He smiles watching me. It must be a good book.

  I go to Brantley’s house and climb in. “Love your house Brantley. It’s your favorite color.”

  He smiles moving over to me laying his head on my shoulder. “It’s perfect. Thank you CJ. I’m so happy I can’t even tell you what it feels like.”

  I laugh, “I feel the same thing Brantley. I’m happy for you and your new things. You all deserve every bit of it.”

  He hugs me. I lay with him for a few minutes. He’s comfortable not saying anything so we don’t. He rolls over and I climb out. I lean back in kissing his head. “I love you Brantley.” I whisper.

  Christian is watching me when I turn around. He has a sweet smile on his face. He’s going to be a handsome man with his dirty blonde hair and light green eyes. He moves so I can climb in. “Everyone is happy with their new houses. I just told Brantley you all deserve them. I’m happy for you Christian.”

  “Everyone is happy for you too. Cloud is a good man CJ. He helped make this happen. It’s the nicest thing to happen to us since you.” He says putting his head on my shoulder. “You have to be careful CJ. Something changed.” His voice goes low.

  “Can you give me something to help me understand?” My body breaks out in goose bumps.

  “It’s too big for me. I can’t get it. I’m sorry.” His voice catches. I hold him tight.

  “We’ll all be ok Christian. It will all be ok.” I don’t want him upset all night. He doesn’t hardly sleep now. “I love you little man.”

  “I love you too CJ. I need to go see Joey early.” He moves to sit.

  I roll out of the house and walk down the stairs with him. We go in to see Joey. She’s in her pj’s and in bed already. Her bed is sitting up and a tray is in front of her. I laugh. The back of the carriage is open with a bar attached to the floor and wall and room for her chair. Another bar is hung from the ceiling for her to grab and pull herself into bed. Unfrigginbelievable! “I did it all myself CJ.” She says so excited. I hug her and tell her I see that. “I even did my treatment. I can do everything now.”

  “You tell me if you need help once and a while. I’ll still need the numbers to record.” I don’t want her to think she has to do it alone.

  She has a big smile on. “The book is in there. I put the numbers in it.”

  She’s so friggin proud I laugh. “My princess is growing up. I’m not sure I like it.”

  “You love it.” Christian says.

  “Friggin kid. Get out of my head.” I tell him. Joey laughs. “I love you Joey. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  She kisses my cheek and says goodnight. I leave them to say their good nights and head back to the office. I just finish the calendar for the house deliveries and maintenance when Mo comes in with a cup of tea. I watch him wondering what this is about. “Since I pissed you off I thought I’d make a peace offering.” He smiles but it doesn’t feel right.

  “Ok.”

  He puts the cup in front of me and sits down. “I’m sorry CJ. I stepped over the line and shouldn’t have questioned you.”

  “You’re right. Thank you for the tea.” I say. I’m not sure what else to say. I don’t want to set precedence by explaining myself to him so I don’t say anything.

  “Well, I’ll let you get back to work.” He gets up and leaves.

  “That went well.” I say to no one. Cloud should be here soon. I smile and take a sip of the tea. It tastes different and I wonder if it’s new. There was so much stuff in the kitchen that has to be it. I’m wondering how Cloud’s day went and smile. I’m sitting here daydreaming like a teenager. I get push pins to put up my calendar and stand.

  Shit I’m dizzy. It hits me. Fuckin Mo. Unusual. Danny said to watch out for that. Using the wall I get to the doorway holding on. My legs don’t want to hold me. Shit! Tess said my body won’t work. I can’t make it back to the safe room. Making it out I want to cry out for help but my mouth isn’t working. I hold the wall and go as far as I can before my legs give out. Falling I try to crawl to the end of the wall pulling myself into the middle so the camera can see me. The phone rings in my office. Fuck. My brain is working but the rest of me isn’t. I hear someone on the stairs. I hope it’s Christian.

  Mo comes around the corner. “My little spitfire is ready for me.” He sounds fuckin happy. I want to kill him. “Let’s get you into bed. Your room is so pretty CJ. Just what I pictured when we make love.”

  Tears come out of my eyes. Too grown up for Christian. He lifts me holding me against his chest. He’s short but stocky in stature and strong. He lays me on the bed in my new room. I don’t want this to be in my memory as the first time I’m in my bed. I can’t move my body. I wish I could bite him. He moves me around until he’s satisfied with my position. I feel him touching me. I close my eyes. Please Cloud hurry. I keep the chant going in my head. He’s undressing me.

  “Oh no my redheaded she devil. You’re looking at me or I’ll get the kids to come and watch.” I open my eyes. Fuckin dick head. Tears are blurring my view. I think, that’s something at least. I hear the helicopter. Please Cloud hurry. I pick up my chant again. “A whole year I’ve been waiting and you decide you’re ready when I’m away. You are mine. No one puts their cock in that tight pussy before me. You haven’t been with anyone since that moron left you.” He rolls me to get my
shirt off. I feel like I’m seeing a movie. I’m rolled back and he moves away. Thank God. “I love when you get mad. Your eyes flash, your face gets red and you spit your words out like fire. It always gets me hard. I would have liked bending you over your desk but the bed works too. It’s such a pretty room CJ.” He comes back in my line of sight, he’s undressed. Fuck! I’m trying to will my arms to move. This can’t be happening. There’s a crash. Please be Cloud. He looks to the doorway and lifts his hands up. Please be Cloud. I hear a man I don’t know. Fuck I’m naked and can’t move.

  “Please make a move so I can shoot your fuckin ass.” A deep voice says.

  Someone is covering me. He’s blond and beautiful. Tears blur my vision again. “CJ Cloud will be here in a minute. He had to shut the helicopter down. My name is Jamie Baxter; my brother Kevin is cuffing the man right now. If you understand blink twice for yes.” I blink for him. Please understand. “Your body is not working but you understand everything that’s happening?” I blink twice. “Good girl. A doctor is on the way.” Thank God!

  Cloud comes in. “CJ.” He doesn’t say anything else.

  “Date rape drugs. She sees and understands everything that’s happening but can’t move her body. Two blinks for yes.” Jamie tells him.

  I hear a crash and Mo yells. A minute passes and Cloud gathers the blanket and lifts me up. “I’m sorry. We got back later than I thought. Rich called Jamie from Security. It’s going to be ok CJ.” He’s rocking me but I only see it. I can’t feel anything anymore. I hear motorcycles.

  I keep my eyes on Cloud. People are talking and moving around the room but I’m trying to talk to him in my head. Sally comes in, “CJ I’m going to sleep upstairs and keep the kids calm, by morning the drug will have worn off.”