What Hurts The Most 3

by Tynessa

  “Ke’ it wasn’t like that,” she said softly. I narrowed my eyes and stare at her before asking what was it like. Every time a mothafucka cheat, the first thing they holla is, it wasn’t like that. “I just went over there to talk and that was it,” she explained. Of course, I wasn’t trying to hear that.

  “I guess I played myself. I knew you wasn’t over that nigga and here I am thinking I could change the way you feel about him.” The mug I was giving Asia was something serious. I was really hurt, because I was ready to give her everything I had in me, knowing she was still in love with this dude. That’s what my ass gets for falling in love quickly.

  “But you’re the one I wanna be with, Ke’. I’ve told you that so many times, but you’re so busy thinking I still want Jay that you can’t see how I really feel about you,” Asia tried to get loud with me. My thing is, why was she so upset and self-justifying if nothing was going on between them?

  “Maybe because every time I question you about the shit, you get all defensive or quiet.”

  “Because I’m tired of you hitting me with 21 questions of this shit. Either you’re going to trust me or you can bounce, but I will not continue to get grilled about to same shit,” Asia fussed as tears rolled down her face. I didn’t know if she was crying from guilt, or if she was actually telling the truth.

  “Come here,” I reached out for her. Pulling her into my arms, I hugged Asia tightly. “I’m sorry baby, and I promise I will try to do better. I just hate the feeling that I’m being played,” I said as I kissed the top of her head. Asia didn’t say anything back and after a while, I pulled my cell from my pocket and hit Lo up, letting him know I was in and ready for whatever.

  Chapter 24

  Unexpected Surprises!

  Quintez

  I was in one of the most peaceful naps when my phone began to ring, startling me. At first I thought I was dreaming, until the caller hung and seemed to have called back, then Grisela nudged me.

  “Who keeps calling you?” she asked sleepily, as if I should’ve known who the persistent caller was.

  “I don’t know. Shit, I’m right here sleep just like yo’ ass,” I answered Grisela’s crazy ass question as I reached over on the nightstand and snatched my phone up. Getting off the bed, I looked at the time, then walked in the bathroom to take a piss. I couldn’t believe Grisela and me had slept for almost four hours. All I had been doing for the past two weeks was sleeping.

  “Yo? What the fuck you want? Why you keep blowing up my shit like you crazy?” I asked Bree once she answered. “I thought I made myself clear that I didn’t want shit else to do with you,” I continued to roar in anger. I guess she thought I was playing with her.

  “I know and I’m sorry for everything, Tez. I never meant to hurt you. Brittani was supposed to be our daughter. You and mines, not Lo’s!” Bree said regretfully. I didn’t feel sorry for her one bit, and she could save that shit she was spitting.

  “Yeah, I hear you talking, and evidently you had some type of feelings for him being that ya’ll engaged.” I heard Bree on the other end of the phone suck in air like she was shocked that I’d just said that. I knew she was probably wondering how I could have known about her and Lo being engaged, but both of those fools knew it wasn’t much going on around in the Atlanta area that got past me. Jay and me had this shit on lock.

  “And don’t worry about how I found out, because all that is irrelevant. I could really care less about it, to be honest with you,” I let her know before she started with apologizing.

  “I know you don’t care Tez,” Bree stated sadly. I surely hope she wasn’t expecting me to feel sorry for her.

  “So what are you calling me for back to back? What the fuck do you want?” I asked as I leaned back on the bathroom counter. I already knew Grisela’s jealous ass was probably out there ear-hustling. That chick was so jealous it was ridiculous. I swear, I couldn’t even piss in private.

  “I already know I’ll never get you back, and I was going to take this secret with me to the grave, but I think you should know the truth. I know I’m laying my life on the line right now, but I have nothing to live for at this point,” Bree paused. Suddenly, she belched loudly, right in my damn ear.

  “Are you drunk, Bree?” I asked.

  “Maybe,” was her reply. It’s funny that when she first called, she sounded so sober but now she was sloppy drunk—it sounded like it anyways.

  “Man, tell me what you have to tell me so you can sleep that shit off, because you’re talking crazy right now. Fuck you mean you don’t have shit to live for? Don’t you have a lil girl that needs you?”

  “She supposed to have been yours, Tez! I don’t want a baby by Lo,” Bree sobbed. I just shook my head and rolled my eyes upwards. She was beginning to get on my nerves now, and I was about to hang up.

  “Well it’s a little too late for that. She’s here now and ain’t nothing you can do about it. Now what you gotta tell me?” I just wished she go ahead and get to the point of calling me. I didn’t have time to play Doctor Phil while she vented. Fuck I look like?!

  “I-I’m sorry Tez. Lo kept putting in my head that you never loved me and was always cheating on me with every bitch that had a pussy. He said you would never love me and I would never mean shit to you,” Bree broke down crying. I was still standing in the bathroom looking confused as hell, wondering where all this was coming from. “Why would you tell him that about me, Tez?” she asked.

  “What? I never told Lo that shit! Come on now Bree, listen to yourself. When have you known me to talk about my relationship status with the next nigga? If I felt that way about you, then trust and believe, you wouldn’t have had half the shit you had. When I got locked up, I left you a black card to make sure you was straight. I left you with the house and cars. Hell, my chick now don’t even have half the shit you had back then. So don’t even come to me and tell me what some punk ass hating ass mothafucker done told you. You stupid for even believing all that bullshit!” I said heatedly. This ho had me thirty-right hot.

  “But at the time, I wasn’t thinking about all that. All I knew was some bitch came to me claiming you was her babydaddy and I lost it. So already dealing with that gave me all the reasons to believe what Lo was saying. I knew how close ya’ll was and I know how niggas talk.”

  “Man what do you want Bree, because I ain’t about to go down this road with you. It happened and ain’t shit we can do to change it. Don’t get drunk, get in your feelings, and call me with this bullshit because I don’t wanna hear it. I’m not about to feel sorry for you because obviously you’re where you wanna be.” I was just about to hang up right in her face when she said something that grabbed my attention.

  “Lo set you up!”

  Slowly, I placed the phone back to my ear, not wanting to believe what she’d just said; but on the other hand, I believed the shit without a doubt. I knew how Lo got down, but because we was getting this paper together and he was like my brother, I never thought he would turn his back and betray me the way he had been.

  “What you talking about Bree?”

  “Think about it Tez. All the other times you made trips out of town, Lo was right there with you. The one day he chose to stay at home, you get arrested. Hmm, you think that’s a coincidence? Nope!” Bree asked and answered her own question. My dumb ass never even thought about that shit. Bree hiccupped and continued talking.

  “Yup! You know usually you wouldn’t tell me where you were going or whatever, but that one day in particular, Lo came over and dicked me down real good,” she bragged right before bursting out with laughter. “Not better than you though, baby.”

  Rolling my eyes upwards, I sighed deeply. Pissed would’ve been an understatement.

  “When me and Lo finished fucking, he once again let me know that you didn’t want me and alot of other bull crap you supposedly had said to him. Just so happened, you must’ve changed up where you and whoever was meeting at and didn’t inform him. Lo had me to call you up
and start an argument, so he could get the information and get your ass thrown in jail forever,” Bree confessed. At first, I couldn’t say shit. I just stared at the wall in anger. Two of the mothafuckas I trusted the most betrayed me in the worst fucking way possible.

  “But I never told you where I were,” I said silently as I thought back. “Was my phone tapped?” That was the only thing I could come up with.

  “Ding, Ding, Ding! Sure was baby,” Bree laughed as she took a swallow of whatever it was she was drinking. “I regretted it a little afterwards, but Lo had me brainwashed. He had me thinking no one wanted me but him, and we would be a family. That’s what I wanted with you. All I wanted was a family, Tez.”

  “So you two dirty mothafuckas set me up, huh?” I asked calmly. It took every bone in me to keep my composure. I wanted to hop in my ride and go put two bullets in her shit. Unfortunately, I wouldn’t even touch Bree. Yeah, she did me dirty but I wouldn’t take her away from her daughter. Losing your mother isn’t a good feeling.

  “We did! But Tez, just know that no matter what I did, it didn’t take away from the love that I have for you. I just wish one day, you would forgive me and we could—”

  Click.

  I ended the call on her mothafucking ass because she had done said enough. I sat here for a little while, shaking my head from left to right. All I could think about was smoking that nigga Lo. Bruh was a hater, forreal. I never wanted to end somebody’s life so fucking badly. Finally, I took a deep breath before exhaling and walking out the bathroom.

  “Oh, so you’re finally off the phone with your bitch?” said Grisela as soon as I opened the door. I just shook my head and walked past her.

  “I ain’t got time for your nosey insecure ass right now,” I let her know as I headed over to the bed and begun putting on my pants, followed by my shoes.

  “I’m pretty sure you don’t, Tez.” When Grisela started speaking that Spanish shit, I knew she was pissed. That was the only time she spoke it around me.

  “Speak English, nigga. You always talking all that shit in Spanish because you know I don’t understand what you saying. I’ma start knocking the shit out of you,” I said. Out of nowhere, Grisela was pushing past me, running to the restroom. At first, I thought she was thinking maybe I was about to lay her ass out with the look I was giving her, but when I heard her throwing up, I became concerned.

  “Are you okay?” I slowly opened the bathroom door to find her hovering over the commode. She was looking pale with teary eyes.

  “No,” Grisela said as she puked once again in the toilet. Holding her hair back, I sat on the edge of the tub and rubbed her back. Once she was done, she sat on the floor and leaned against the wall with her knees to her chest, and cried. “I’m pregnant, Tez.”

  When those three words left Grisela’s mouth, it was like all the air had been sucked out of my body. I couldn’t move or speak. My body felt paralyzed. I didn’t want any kids at the moment. I had too much going on right now. Hell, my life was on the line. So much shit was going on that Grisela wasn’t aware of. Even with all that, I couldn’t bring myself to tell her to abort the baby. I would be less than a man to do that.

  Taking a deep breath, I said, “Don’t sweat it lil mama, we’ll get through it,” then I kissed the top of her forehead and lifted her off the floor. Carrying her back into the bedroom, I place her on the bed and covered her up. “Try to get some rest. I have to go make a run. I’ll call and check up on you later,” I told her, then turned to walk away.

  “I love you, Tez,” Grisela said. I stopped dead in my tracks before turning to face her. I gave her a half smile and nodded my head up and down. I could tell she meant what she’d just said, but I didn’t have those same feelings for her and I wasn’t one to say shit that I didn’t mean.

  “Get some rest,” was all I said back before walking out the room and headed to front door.

  Chapter 25

  Don’t Judge Me!

  Bree

  Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I took a long swallow of the Grey Goose I’d been drinking right out the bottle. Ever since that SOB Lo left here, it seemed that my life had changed overnight. One day I loved Tez with all my heart, then out of nowhere, here comes Lo sweeping me off my feet with all his lies.

  Truth be told, I never loved Lo as much as I put on. Lo never completely had my heart, because Tez still and always would hold the key to it. I was just so hurt with all the bullshit Lo was telling me, and dealing with Tez’s infidelity, that I helped Lo betray him.

  One night of pleasure caused me to lose someone that meant so much to me, and if Tez would say the word, as bad as it might sound, I would sign over all my rights to my daughter just to have him back in my life. After all, we were supposed to be a family anyway. Ya’ll just don’t understand how much I love that man! I know you’re probably thinking I don’t, being that I slept with his right hand, but I do. Don’t judge me until you’ve walked in my shoes.

  “Mommy, Mommy. I’m hungry,” I heard Brittani say from behind me. I just stared at her in the mirror, looking just like her ugly ass daddy. I was disgusted.

  Taking a long sip of my Goose, I ignored her as I dialed Tez’s number for the umpteen time since he hung up on me. I’d been calling him and Lo back to back, only for them to send me to the voicemail. Well, Lo’s phone would ring then roll over, but it seemed Tez blocked my number because his shit wasn’t even ringing no more.

  “Argghhhh,” I yelled out as I threw the phone into the wall, then punched the mirror. Instantly, blood gushed out of my cut hand and the mirror shattered. I heard my daughter screaming and crying, and that shit pissed me off more.

  Turning to face Brittani, I grabbed my Goose and turned it up. I then grabbed a piece of the shattered mirror and staggered over to her. I stood over her as she looked up at me, still crying and screaming. Finally, I lifted her by the arm and brought the mirror piece to her neck.

  “Shut the fuck up, now!” I shouted. As I held it to her neck, my hands were shaking uncontrollably, and my heart felt as if it was about to jump out my chest. Tears were falling rapidly as I stared in my frightened daughter’s face. She looked scared for her dear life, and it broke my heart.

  Dropping the glass, I fell to the floor with Brittani in my arms and hugged her tightly. I couldn’t believe I was actually standing there with a fucking broken glass piece to my child’s neck. That shit made me cry harder. Pulling back, I smoothed her hair and clothes and tried to calm her down. She was crying hysterically.

  “Mama sorry baby. I’m so sorry Brittani, I love you so much.” I kissed all over her bloody face from the cut on my hand.

  “I want Shay-Shay,” Brittani wept over and over. I stared at her little ass and wanted to slap the shit out of her. How dare she cry for that bitch when I’m right here?

  “Brittani, I’m your mother, not Shay,” I said, but she wasn’t trying to hear that.

  After what seemed like forever of me trying to calm her down, I failed. Brittani wanted that chick and let it be known. How could I be upset when I was just standing there about to end her life? Getting off the floor, I grabbed my car keys, my bottle of Goose, and Brittani by her arm again. Since she wanted to cry for Shay, then I was taking her to the bitch. Maybe she would be better off with the broad, anyways.

  When I pulled up to Shay’s house, I hopped out and grabbed Brittani from the front seat. I didn’t even bother strapping her down. Once I had her out the car, I took her to the porch and kissed her right on the lips. We were both crying and drenched in blood. I must’ve cut myself badly because the shit was still bleeding, yet I didn’t feel shit because of the amount of alcohol I’d had. It had my body numb.

  “I love you so much baby, and don’t let anyone tell you any different. You’re my heart and—” I was saying right before the front door swung open and out walked Shay.

  “What in the hell are you doing here?” Shay asked me then out of nowhere, she started screaming and hollering. “What
did you do to her, Bree? Are you fucking crazy?” Pushing me out the way, she snatched Brittani up and began looking over her body.

  All I could do was back away as the tears continued to fall from my eyes. I wasn’t fit to take care of my daughter. After the shit I had just confessed to Tez, I knew he would be ending my life sooner rather than later. If he didn’t, then Lo would surely do it.

  “She wanted you, so I brought her to you!” was all I said as I turned and staggered to my car. I was sloppy drunk. On the way back home, I finished up the last of my Goose before tossing the bottle out the window. When I pulled into my driveway, I reached in my glove compartment, pulled out my .45, and went inside my house.

  “Lord, please watch over my daughter and keep her out of harm’s way. Lord, please watch over me and forgive me of my sins,” I said as I laid across my bed on my back while staring up at the ceiling. I cried and prayed as I asked the Lord to not judge me for my actions. With that being said, I closed my eyes and pulled the trigger to the .45 I held with shaky hands.

  Chapter 26

  Is This The End?

  Kacey

  Pulling into the apartment complex that Tan and me stayed in, I shut off the engine and leaned my head back against the headrest. My life was so much better before I went to prison. All these years I’d been so confused as to how I ended up selling to an undercover—which was a guy that Lo put on.

  That nigga kicked it to Jay like the guy I was dealing to was someone that he did business with. I should’ve known something was up when Lo all of a sudden had plans the day before the drop. I didn’t think nothing of it though, and now I know that’s where I fucked up at. Today when I saw that nigga holding a conversation with the same mothafucka that I was supposed to selling to, that just so happened to turn out to be a damn undercover cop, I knew then that the bastard had done set me up.

  I wanted to get out my whip and beat the brakes off Lo. Nah, scratch that; this one time, I wanted to kill both Lo and the cop myself. None of the shit I was going through right now would’ve ever happened if I wouldn’t have went to jail. All this shit was Lo’s fault. I called Jay up and informed him of what was in front of me, and he told me to stay put until he sent someone over. I didn’t know what Jay was about to do, but he assured me that he was going to handle it. He knew I didn’t like getting my hands dirty. so I trusted his words.