Bad Dad

by Sloane Howell

  “Logan, get off the bed and come over here.”

  Janet stared lasers at me. Logan buried his head in her ribs and shook his head violently. He sobbed into her back.

  “Now, Son.”

  I glanced out through the door and Joe stood there. He looked away like he hadn’t expected me to catch him watching. His face was somber. The guy had a soft spot for his nephew and was probably figuring out how to deal with it.

  “Landon, he’s not—”

  I held up a finger at Janet. I didn’t want to be rude to her. She was like a mother to me and she’d done so much for us. But she didn’t know anything about being a man. She didn’t know the extent of what we were about to walk into and face as a family. She didn’t know what would need to be done if Sid killed me in the ring. I kept Logan’s innocence alive for as long as I could, but he was going to grow up early. Life dealt him that hand.

  I stared at her. “I need you to leave the room.”

  She shook her head and gripped Logan. It tore me apart on the inside, but I couldn’t show any weakness. It would only hurt him in the long run, or even cost him his life. I ground my teeth and looked at the wall. “Please don’t make this more difficult than it needs to be.”

  She looked back and forth at Logan and me, and then stood up from the bed.

  “No! Janet! Don’t leave me.” Logan pawed at her as she stood up. Tears streamed from both of their eyes. Logan’s face was pink and swollen.

  It was a butcher knife to the chest. All he wanted was comfort and it was being ripped away from him.

  Janet covered her mouth and walked out of the room, bawling. “I’m sorry.”

  He curled up in a ball with his arms around his knees and rocked back and forth. “Please! Janet! Come back!”

  I shot Joe a glance that said, please go check on her. He nodded like he understood, even though I knew she was going to take off in her car. Regardless, Joe went after her.

  I held my hands up and started toward Logan. “It’s just me, buddy.”

  He couldn’t stop crying. “Why did Uncle Joe do that to you?”

  I didn’t know my heart could break any harder, but I had to stay strong for him. “You weren’t supposed to see that. I’m sorry.”

  “I-I’m scared. Y-you scared me out th-there.” He sniffled and lifted his shoulder to his nose.

  I walked up to his bed and leaned down so that we were face to face. “Son, you need to get over that. It’s only going to get worse. Do you understand me?”

  He shook his head.

  “I need you to be strong right now. That’s life, okay?” I pointed out toward the front yard. “That’s our life right now. I have to be able to count on you if something happens to me. Do you understand? Bad things happen sometimes, and we can’t control the world. It will get better, but right now we have to deal with it.”

  His lip quivered, but his sobs tapered off. I needed to give him something. Give him a role and responsibility. I needed to give him some answers too, if I wanted his trust.

  “It’s time to be a man. Can you do that?”

  He nodded at me a little. I wanted to hug him so damn bad, but I needed him strong. I needed him to be fucking iron. Because it was going to be a miracle if I survived, and he had to be able to take care of himself. Take care of Cora and Janet.

  “Good.” I sat down on the edge of the bed.

  Logan wiped some tears from the corners of his eyes.

  “I put it off as long as I could.” I looked up at the ceiling and then back at him. “But this.” I waved a finger back and forth at us. Spoke through a clenched jaw. “This is who we are, big man. We are warriors. What you saw out in the yard. You have that same thing inside of you.” I pointed at his chest. “And we protect the people we love. Even if it makes them mad at us, or scares them. We have to be strong and fierce for them. Do you understand?”

  He nodded again. “Y-yes, S-sir.”

  “Can you be a warrior? If something happens to me? Can you step up and take control of our family? Take care of Janet and Cora?”

  The tears became less frequent and so did the sniffles. “Yes, Sir.”

  “Then it’s time for you to know some things.”

  His face lit up through the remaining tears. “Really?”

  “Really. You want to know about your mom, right?”

  He sprang across the bed next to me. It was still amazing to me how quickly the emotions of children could change. So extreme. “More than anything.”

  “Okay then.” I started to hug him, but instead I held out a hand. “You’re a man, now. You’re a warrior.”

  He reached out and gripped my hand with a firm handshake. The kid was going to be okay.

  “Your mom’s name was Miranda, and she was one of the best friends I ever had.” I inhaled a deep breath. I hadn’t said her name out loud in so long. Not even Gus or Janet knew it.

  “Was she your wife?”

  “No, no. I’ve never been married, buddy.”

  “Did you love her?”

  “In a way. Not the way I love Cora. I loved your mom like a best friend. And she loved me the same way. Nothing more. It’s called platonic. I love your Uncle Joe and Janet the same way.”

  I decided to just let Logan ask the questions at his own pace.

  “How’d you meet?”

  “I met her on the street in San Francisco. It was in a place called the Tenderloin district. Not a good area to be at night. Very rough neighborhood. I didn’t know any better. I’d just snuck into the United States a few months after I’d escaped.”

  “How’d you escape the island?”

  “One story at a time, okay? And I’m sworn to secrecy on that one. I made promises to people.”

  “Okay.”

  “Your mom saw me a few blocks down in the bad area of town and ran down to warn me. I was wandering around and didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know what she was talking about. On our way out, two guys tried to rob us at knife point.”

  Logan grinned. “That doesn’t sound smart. Robbing you?”

  I shook my head. “Nope. They weren’t very bright. And I didn’t know anything about laws or how to behave in public.”

  Logan looked down at the bed.

  I nudged him with my elbow. “I didn’t kill them, geez.”

  He glanced back up and smiled.

  “You watch too many movies, buddy. Movies aren’t real life. In the real world, you do things the best way you can. And quietly so that nobody finds you. You don’t beat someone to death in public when they try to rob you. You disarm them and injure them bad enough to make sure they don’t bother you again. And you do it in the most efficient way possible.”

  Logan nodded.

  “Explosions look good on TV. But if you blow up half a city block to kill someone, people don’t forget that. Police come looking for you. I didn’t want to be found. Criminals that get beat up and injured don’t call the cops on you. But if you kill them, people go looking for the person that did it.”

  Logan grinned.

  “So, I disarmed them and broke one of the guy’s arms and one of the other guy’s ankles. Your mother was grateful. Made friends with me. Took me to her apartment. I wasn’t always the way I am, you know? I was a lot like your Uncle Joe out there. Worse than him, really. You know how he seems kind of weird sometimes? The things he says and does?”

  Logan laughed. “Oh yeah.”

  “I was like that. She called me a robot. Your mom taught me how to get along with people. How to survive. How to be a friend. How to watch the way people reacted and the way they spoke. I didn’t know how to do those things. I didn’t go to school and live around people the way you do.”

  “What was she like?”

  I smiled and stared at Logan’s face. I could see Miranda in him every day. I missed her. “You’re a lot like her, big man. So kind. Both of you have huge hearts. The biggest.” I tapped his chest. “Wanted to help out everyone she met. Calm. Thought abou
t things really hard before she would make up her mind. She’d listen to you and actually hear what you were saying, you know?”

  “Was she pretty?”

  “Very pretty. Inside and out. The nicest person you’d ever meet.” I sighed. I hadn’t thought that hard about Miranda in a long time. I wished I had a picture to show him.

  “So, was she your girlfriend at least? Like Ms. Chapman?”

  “No.” I shook my head. “We were just friends. But she took me in, let me live with her. Let me hide out for a long time. Got me a job. She told me I’d never make it in the world without social skills. You know? Being able to get along with other people. She taught me how to see the world and live in it. She told me about love and how to treat a woman when I fell in love with one. It was almost like I was a project for her, but it turned into a great friendship.”

  “What happened to her? Do you think she’ll ever come see me?”

  All the air left my lungs. “Logan, buddy. I—” I clapped a hand on his shoulder. Tried to fight back tears and stay strong for him. “I—”

  The front door burst open.

  “Landon!” Janet shrieked. Her footsteps pounded the floor. “Landon!”

  “Back here. What is it?”

  I flew from the bed and ran out into the hallway. Janet met me in the middle. Joe was right on her heels.

  “It’s Cora—we have to—she—" Janet practically hyperventilated in the hallway, like she was having a panic attack.

  CHAPTER 32

  Landon Lane

  ROCKS FLEW OUT FROM UNDER the tires of my car and sprayed all over the yard. I fishtailed around in reverse, then shifted into drive and punched it down the driveway. Joe was in the passenger seat.

  “There was an accident. One mile away on the country highway.”

  That’s all the information Janet was able to get out before Joe and I tore after the car. Joe rolled the window down and muted the radio. “I hear them. Up ahead.”

  About the time he said it I saw the flashing red and blue lights peppering the trees and glowing up into the sky. I floored it.

  We pulled up on the scene and there was a news van parked on the shoulder with one police car. An ambulance rambled toward the accident roughly a mile down the road with a firetruck hot on its tail. The only emergency vehicles in Desire.

  We skidded to a stop behind the news van and I saw Cora’s car upside down by the irrigation ditch, halfway down the slope.

  Joe and I ran up, and there was a reporter and a cameraman. He was filming the car while Cora screamed from the driver’s seat.

  Screaming was good. It meant she was alive.

  I ran by and smashed the camera with one swipe of my arm. Shattered it all over the shoulder of the road.

  “Hey!” said the reporter.

  Joe was on my heels.

  We clambered down the side of the ditch with expert precision. When we got next to the overturned Prius it slid farther down, closer to the creek. The water was about three feet deep judging from a glance.

  “Cora!”

  “Landon! Help me, please! I can’t get out of the car!”

  “Are you hurt?”

  “My arm. I think it’s broken. I can’t get the seatbelt off.”

  Joe and I eased our way toward the Prius. Steam and radiator fluid hissed from the busted hood. Oil spilled out of the car and the smell of burned rubber saturated the air. My feet were unsteady on the muddy ground. The grass mushed down into the mire each time I took a step and the Prius was slowly sliding against the softened terrain. When I stopped at the door to bend over, it lurched toward the creek, as if even the slightest vibration might send it straight into the water. Some of the water began to spill through the passenger side window.

  Shit!

  “Careful!” I glared back at Joe.

  He nodded in affirmation, his eyes working over the scene and taking in the same information.

  “Stay calm. Don’t jerk. No sudden movements.”

  I lowered my head down to look inside. Cora had a gash across her brow. She was inverted, and a rivulet of blood streamed down into her hair in a bright red streak. The cut appeared shallow and non-threatening, but a large volume of crimson spilled from it because of all the blood vessels near the surface of the skin on the forehead. The airbag had deployed during the roll over and hung from the steering wheel like a deflated balloon.

  “Please get me out of here. Please!”

  “Shh. Cora, you have to stay calm. Don’t move. Just breathe, okay?” I nodded at her. A psychological technique to get her to agree.

  I stood up and looked at Joe.

  He stared back.

  The car jerked again toward the water.

  I dropped to my stomach to get another look inside of it. The ambulance and firetruck pulled up. Footsteps pounded in my ears. “Don’t move! Don’t come down here!”

  If they ran down the ditch the car might slide into the water. Even the slightest movement could give it just the momentum it needed. I stared at Cora and the water rose up into her hair. It was filling up the top of the car. She could easily drown within a minute if it slid any farther into the middle. I didn’t have a knife to cut her loose.

  The water was murky. I couldn’t see into it. If I tried for the seatbelt and the car submerged into the water I didn’t know if I’d be able to get her out in time. Everything was upside down.

  I looked at Joe. He nodded.

  I eased my hand in through the window. “This is going to hurt. I’m sorry.” I gently pulled the top of the strap in front of her face.

  She screamed as it tightened against her broken arm.

  I’d have given anything in the world to take the pain away from her. Feel it for her. Absorb it all. There’s nothing worse in the world than seeing someone you love in pain, and nothing you can do to relieve them of it. “Bite down.”

  She panted and grimaced and stared at my hand.

  I wanted to yell at her to do it. I wanted to fix the problem, do what I’d been trained to do. Like I’d done for Logan when he gashed his knee open. Tears streamed down Cora’s face, and I remembered Janet’s words. “He’s not a soldier.”

  My stare softened, and I exhaled a breath. “Babe?”

  Cora’s breathing slowed.

  “Babe, look at me.”

  She glanced over, and I showed her how much I loved her with just my eyes. How much I wanted to help and protect her. “We don’t have much time. I need you to bite down on this. Can you do that?”

  She nodded and stared, like she’d forgotten she was just in a car accident with a broken arm and water rising up to her face. She bit down on the belt.

  “Good, babe. Good. I will get you out of there. I promise.”

  Joe had already stood and then crouched down next to the car. I rose to my feet and did the same.

  We wedged our hands under the roof. It was hard to get a good grip on it because of the slick metal. Two men our size would’ve been able to lift the car easily on dry land, but the bottom of it was sitting in a foot of water. The irrigation creek had to have added an extra thousand pounds to the car’s weight, easily.

  “Babe, are you there? You with me?”

  “Y-yes,” she mumbled with the seatbelt between her teeth.

  “Okay. We’re going to get you out of there. I love you.” I paused. “And I’m sorry.”

  “Land—”

  I nodded at Joe. Our legs exploded into the ground and the car lifted up about eight inches until the buoyancy stopped aiding us and gravity worked against us. I strained, and my quads threatened to burst out of my skin. I could feel my heart beating in the side of my neck. My feet shot sideways in the soft creek bed and everything crashed back down. I was lucky the vehicle hadn’t come down on me. Waves rocked back and forth and smashed against Cora’s face.

  She howled in pain from the impact and then coughed and gagged on the water.

  The car slid into the middle of the irrigation ditch about three feet
farther out. It started to sink.

  “No!” I screamed.

  Joe and I ferociously waded through it. It came up to about mid-thigh. Half the car was submerged. It was going to weigh at least three times as much or more if we tried to lift it. It’d overtaken Cora. I couldn’t even see her face. Bubbles rose to the surface. She was fighting, struggling, taking water into her lungs. Everything you shouldn’t do when you’re drowning. The water roiled where she was thrashing below the surface. She had seconds left, if any. She had no training on what to do. Panic was the number one reason people drowned.

  I felt something solid beneath me. The bottom of the ditch was lined with large rocks. “Plant your feet on the rocks!”

  Panic flooded my brain. A surge of adrenaline built in my legs. I heard Janet’s car pull up, but it sounded a thousand yards away.

  I reached down into the water that was nearly up to my waist. Joe did the same. The large boulders provided space between them. Enough to get a better grip on the roof of the car.

  Paramedics and firemen footsteps hammered the ground behind us. They ran down the hill toward the water. There wasn’t time though. We couldn’t wait on more men to help us lift.

  A fire lit in my stomach. I stared over at Joe and he was already in a crouched position again. We made eye contact and knew what needed done. He had a look about him that I’d never seen on his face before.

  Panic.

  We had one shot. It had to be right then. A violent burst of force to lift the car up through close to three feet of water and then shove it over. Water weight wasn’t like stationary weight. It rocked and shifted violently with each movement. Billions or trillions of molecules each trying to go their own direction independently. It should’ve been impossible. It was impossible.

  But the look in Joe’s eyes and the way I stared at him—fuck impossibilities, fuck the laws of physics. That was Cora in the car. It was our Cora. All of ours. We couldn’t fail her.

  Joe counted it out. Time set itself in slow motion.