Rayne's Return (Hearts of ICARUS Book 3)

by Laura Jo Phillips

  “I really feel that way,” Rayne said calmly. “I don’t want another day to go by without us being linked.”

  “Not that I’m complaining, but why?” Con asked. “You didn’t seem to want to discuss it before.”

  “When the subject came up before something inside of me warned me that the time wasn’t right. I didn’t remember why, which is why I didn’t want to discuss it. I wanted to link with you more than I can say, but I couldn’t and I had no explanation for it.”

  “And now?” Landor asked.

  “Now I know that it was because I was afraid, but I don’t have to be afraid any more.”

  “Afraid of what?”

  She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back against the headboard. “Does it matter?”

  “Yes, it matters,” Landor replied. “A great deal, in fact.”

  “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”

  “No, we’re not.”

  Rayne nearly smiled. She knew them well enough by now to know that if she asked them to let it go, they would. They’d be unhappy about it, but they’d do it if that was what she wanted.

  “I was afraid that if I died when my other self on the Facility was destroyed, that you three would die too, if we were linked. I hoped that since it was so…,” she paused, shook her head, and started over. “Since you didn’t have too much trouble staying away from me for all those years after learning that I was your berezi, I hoped that it wouldn’t be much different for you if I died, so long as we weren’t linked.”

  “Do you think it was easy for us to stay away from you?” Ari asked.

  “I don’t have any idea what it was like for you,” she said. “I just know that you did it, and I hoped that if I died, you’d be able to do it again.”

  “Whether we could or not is irrelevant,” Landor said. “We’d never let you travel to the next plane alone, Rayne. Not ever. Linked or not.”

  “We made that promise to each other from the beginning,” Con said.

  “The beginning?” she asked.

  “Right after we discovered that you were our berezi.”

  “That was the first time,” Ari said. “We renewed the promise when you turned eighteen.”

  “I don’t understand,” Rayne said. “You didn’t even know me. Why would you make a promise like that?”

  “Our soul belongs with your soul, Rayne,” Landor said. “We were made to be together, our souls were meant to be linked. Once we’d found you, there was nothing that could have convinced us to remain on this plane while you traveled to another. Now that we know you, and love you, our feelings on the subject are even stronger.”

  “I love you three just as much, and I don’t even want to imagine a single day without you. I thought I was protecting you, but I understand now that I was wrong. Seeing Salene’s pain, and fear, and regret was an eye opener. I suddenly realized that I had it all backward.”

  “Backward?” Ari asked, confused. “What did you have backward?”

  “Not linking won’t make it easier for those left behind if one of us dies. Linking does.”

  “While we agree that not linking won’t make anything easier, I’m afraid we still don’t understand what it is you’re trying to tell us,” Landor said.

  “Salene regrets not linking with the Gryphons because now, if one of them dies, their souls won’t be linked together the way they’re meant to be. They’ll be set adrift.” She swallowed hard. “They’ll be separate, and alone.” She took a deep breath to clear the tears from her throat. “I don’t want that to happen to her, or the Gryphons, and I don’t want it to happen to us, either. I want to know from this day forward that if one of us passes to the next plane, we won’t get lost. We’ll be able to wait for each other because our souls will be connected together as one, and no force on any plane is capable of tearing a soul apart against one’s will.”

  “Thank you, Rayne,” Landor said. “I wish I had more eloquent words than that, but I don’t. We’ll never forget this moment.”

  “Nor will I,” she said, then took another deep breath. “So, what next?”

  “That will depend on you,” Con said. “If everything goes as we expect, our bodies, and our mating fangs, will respond to whatever your body needs.”

  She nodded, but that wasn’t what she meant. “I know, but I was wondering more about how long the self-healing will take, and whether or not I’ll be able to feel pain when it’s done, and if I’ll have time to bathe before we get to the linking part.”

  “Ah,” Landor said, frowning thoughtfully. “In that case, I don’t know, I’m not sure, and I have no idea.”

  “Good answers,” she laughed. “Would you mind checking to see if I’m still healing?”

  “Of course not,” Landor said. Rayne remained motionless while they sent their Water magic into her. A few moments later they all smiled. “I think you can get up and move around if you like. Do you really want to take a bath?”

  “Weeble touched me, so yes, I do,” Rayne said, pushing herself out of Landor’s lap and inching her way to the edge of the bed without accepting help from her men who were all holding their hands out to her. “Thanks guys, but I got this.” They moved back, giving her room as she swung her legs slowly off the bed, and then stood up. “I think I’d like a sasuna while we’re in the tub,” she said, changing direction.

  “No, I’ll get it,” Ari said, redirecting her toward the bathroom.

  “Thanks,” she said, rewarding him with a brilliant smile. Con ran ahead to start the tub and Landor walked beside Rayne, not rushing her as she slowly crossed the room and entered the bathroom. He helped her to undress, pausing to examine her back which still showed a few faint signs of bruising. After helping her into the tub, Ari handed her an icy glass of sasuna, and they all undressed and joined her. For several minutes they all relaxed in the steaming water, lost in their own thoughts.

  “Why are you sad, Rayne?” Ari asked.

  “I’m worried about the Gryphons,” she said. “I’m sorry. This is an important time for us and I shouldn’t be thinking about my sister and her men.”

  “If you weren’t worried about them, you wouldn’t be you,” Landor said.

  “Salene says that they’re alive,” Con said. “Do you not believe her?”

  “Of course I believe her,” she said. “But I know a good bit about the Doftle, and I know a thing or two about male Clan Jasani, too.”

  “What do you mean?” Landor asked.

  “The Doftle go to extraordinary lengths to keep their captives alive,” she said. “There’s no need to worry that they’ll kill the Gryphons because they never will. But, the Doftle are very cautious when it comes to their own safety. They will inflict deliberate, and probably irreparable, damage to the Gryphons if they’re afraid of them, or if they believe them to be a significant threat.”

  “What sort of damage are you talking about?” Ari asked.

  “I couldn’t begin to guess what they’d do to the Gryphons,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest in an unconscious protective gesture. “But I can tell you what they did to Wolef.”

  “If it upsets you too much, then don’t,” Landor said.

  “No, I want you to know this. Everyone has to know what the Doftle are capable of.”

  “All right, Kisu, go on.”

  “The Doftle sent out a distress call for an injured dragon. When Wolef arrived in answer to that call they ambushed him, hitting him with dozens of tranquilizer darts all at once. While he was unconscious they cut into his brain, forever taking away his ability to move his own body. They didn’t even wait to see if he could be subdued by some other means. They knew he was strong, powerful, and magical, all of which made him far too dangerous to them. They wanted his living body. They didn’t care about anything else. Their intention was to destroy Wolef’s mind entirely and they believed that they’d succeeded. They never knew his mind was still intact.”

  “That’s…I don’t know what
to call it,” Ari said. “There’s no word I know of to accurately describe that.”

  “I know,” Rayne said. “Which is why I’m worried. You know as well as I do that if given the slightest, slimmest chance, the Gryphons will act aggressively against the Doftle. When and if they do, the Doftle may decide that their brains make them too dangerous.”

  “Your concern is certainly understandable,” Landor said. “If there was any way for us to warn them against such behavior, we would, but as it is, all we can do is try to get to them as quickly as possible.”

  “I know,” Rayne said, then made herself set that subject aside. “I have a question.”

  “Which is?” Ari asked.

  “When we’re finished with this, after we get the Gryphons and return home to Jasan, what happens then?”

  “What happens?” Landor asked blankly. “I’m not sure I understand what it is you’re asking.”

  “I know that you do work for ICARUS, traveling all over the Thousand Worlds, and if that’s what you want to keep doing then of course that’s what you should do. I’m just curious about what I’ll do. Will I go with you, or will I have to stay on Jasan while you’re gone?”

  Landor, Con and Ari exchanged looks, something she was growing accustomed to. Then Landor turned to her. “We’ve had a long time to prepare for our future with you, Rayne. We purchased a large bit of farm land that includes a mountain overlooking a forest with a big freshwater lake, all within a few hours of Dracon Ranch. We built a house on the mountain for us, but we kept it rather small. Kitchen, living room, master bedroom and one guest room. An office for us, a music room for you, and a nursery. We know we’ll all want more rooms, hopefully many more rooms, but we thought you’d like to take part in deciding where the additions will be and how they’ll look. The foundation and the existing structure are designed so that many more rooms can be added.”

  “It sounds wonderful,” Rayne said, picturing it in her mind. “We’ll live there? All the time?”

  “Yes,” Landor said. “We never intended to continue our work for ICARUS after claiming you. That’s why we didn’t sign a contract with them. Our priority is you, Rayne and like you, we want a family. We’ve waited a long time, and we intend to be there, with you, raising our children together.”

  “Oh yeah?” she asked with a mischievous sparkle in her eye. “Does that include diaper changing duties?”

  They all laughed. “It includes diapers, drool, spit up, long sleepless nights and endless exhausting days,” Landor said. “We want it all, Rayne. Every single moment. Our only concern now is that we don’t want our enthusiasm to make you feel rushed. Our future is in sight. We can wait.”

  “I don’t think you could rush me even if you tried since I have no desire to wait.” They all looked at her intently. “What?”

  “Do you mean that, Rayne?” Ari asked.

  “Absolutely,” she said, then dropped her eyes. “If you guys want to wait a bit, I’ll understand, of course.”

  “No, no no no and no,” Con said emphatically. “Landor?”

  “You know we don’t have the power to…change…anything, Con.”

  “I know, but we can look,” Con said. “Just to see if it’s possible.”

  “Yes, we can do that,” Landor said. “What do you think, Rayne?”

  “I think I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  “We want to take a peek to see if pregnancy is possible right now,” Landor said.

  “Oh yes, please do check,” she said excitedly.

  “Try to relax,” Landor said, pleased to see that her excitement was equal to their own.

  “Okay okay, I’m relaxing.”

  “No, you’re not,” Landor laughed. “Try to be still anyway.”

  “I can do that,” she said, then leaned back and went perfectly still. She watched as an expression of utter calm came over their faces. A few moments later they blinked and both Ari and Con looked at Landor and frowned.

  “Frowns aren’t good,” she said worriedly. “What is it?”

  “Nothing bad,” Con said quickly. “We just aren’t sure.”

  “I’m afraid we don’t have any experience in this, something we should have thought of before getting our hopes up,” Landor said. “We think things look…right.”

  “Oh well,” Rayne said. “I guess we’ll just have to hope for the best and wait to see, like most people.”

  “We’re just glad that you want the things we want,” Ari said.

  “Me too,” Rayne replied. She raised one hand to brush the hair back from her face, then lowered it halfway back to the water before pausing. She turned it over, her eyes traveling over the myriad scars that marred her skin. They didn’t stand out too much since she was still very pale, but she was an outdoor girl. When they got home and she started getting a little sunshine, that would change. “I wonder, do you think the conversion will take away my scars?”

  “We don’t know,” Landor said quietly, trying to gauge her feelings as they watched her. “You and your sisters are the eldest of the Clan Jasani females, and you’re still young. To our knowledge there’ve been only three conversions of Clan born females so far and there was no mention of scars in the reports.”

  “Well, I guess we’ll see, won’t we,” she said, lowering her arm back into the water.

  “Do they bother you so much?” Ari asked. “The scars?”

  “Yes, and no,” she said, frowning as she tried to understand her own feelings. “I’m vain enough to wish I didn’t look like I went through a shredder, but what bothers me most is what they remind me of.”

  “Then let them remind you of your courage, and strength, and determination,” Con said. “Let them remind you that no matter the odds, no matter the circumstances, you never gave up and you never gave in.”

  “If our children have even a fraction of your heart, and will, and honor, they will be the most blessed children on all of Jasan,” Ari said.

  “They’re going to be amazing, that’s for certain,” Landor said. “I cannot wait to meet them.”

  “Thank you, guys,” Rayne said, touched almost beyond words. “I can’t wait to meet them, either.”

  “Now that we’ve destroyed the Facility, and isolated the Controller on board,” Landor said, “it should be safe for you to be yourself, right?”

  “Yes, I think so,” Rayne said, smiling. “No more contacts, and no more brown hair.”

  “Will you return to your natural color?” Ari asked. “And length?”

  “That’s what I planned,” Rayne said. “Did you have something else in mind?”

  “No!” Ari exclaimed, then smiled. “Sorry. It’s just that I’ve had dreams in which your long silky curls played a major role. I’ve heard that living your fantasies is never as exciting as the fantasies themselves, but I’m looking forward to finding out for myself whether or not that’s true.”

  “So am I, now. Unfortunately, it’s not easy to use that hair wand on yourself. My arms get tired really fast, so it might take a few weeks to get it back to what it was before.”

  “That’s all right,” Ari said, waggling his eyebrows. “Anticipation isn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

  “Yes it is,” Con said. “Anticipation is just a fancy word for waiting, and I don’t like waiting. I vote that we take turns with that hair wand until Rayne’s hair is back the way it should be.”

  “Good idea,” Ari said at once. “You got my vote.”

  “You get my vote as well,” Landor said, then held up one finger. “But only if we can make it a little longer than it was.”

  “Done,” Ari and Con said at once.

  Rayne laughed again, then raised one hand to her throat and began rubbing at the scar there. After a moment she frowned, then used her other hand to scratch at a scar on her shoulder while still scratching the one on her throat.

  “What’s happening?” Landor asked, moving closer and leaning down so he could see her face.

  �
��I just feel itchy.”

  “Itchy?” Con asked in surprise.

  “Yeah, this scar on my throat itches like crazy, and so does this other one,” she said, scratching hard enough to raise red welts on her skin. Before Landor could begin to contemplate the reason for her sudden itchiness, it escalated. Within moments she was scratching frantically at herself, her hands flying from one scar to another, in some places breaking the skin with her blunt nails. Her distress grew as fast as the itching until she had tears streaming down her face that she couldn’t stop scratching long enough to wipe away.

  Not knowing what else to do, Landor picked her up and carried her out of the tub. Con hurried ahead, grabbed a towel, shook it out, and laid it on the counter. Landor set her down on it and reached for another towel to dry her off with. By then Rayne was making soft, whimpering sounds that she didn’t even notice as she struggled to reach all of the places on her body that itched.

  “Look!” Con said in surprise, pointing at her throat. One of Rayne’s hands flew to her throat while the other scratched at a long scar that spanned her stomach from her right hip to the middle of her left ribcage.

  “What?” she asked. “What is it?”

  “Nothing,” Con said. “I mean, there’s no scar there now.”

  Rayne’s eyes widened in surprise even as she realized that the itching on her throat was gone. She immediately resumed scratching at other scars on her arms and stomach and legs, but she was reining in her panic now that she suspected what was happening. “Are any of the other scars going away?”

  “Yes, that big one on your shoulder, and that long one on your stomach are gone,” Landor said. “Others are fading as I watch.”

  “At this rate, the itching shouldn’t last much longer,” Ari said.

  “No, it’s a lot better already,” Rayne said, her scratching becoming less frantic. Landor and Con began rubbing her all over with towels, which helped a lot. A short while later she took a deep breath and relaxed. “It’s gone now,” she said, looking down out herself in wonder. She turned her hands and arms over, shaking her head in surprise. Even the scratches and welts she’d inflicted on herself were gone. “I guess this answers my question about scars.”