Boss Daddy: A Secret Baby Romance

by Black, Natasha L.

  Being stuck in Portland was going to be terrible. I knew that. There had to be some way out of it. If I could talk to Tom and tell him what was going on, maybe we could find a way, but we both were wary of telling people just yet. We needed to plan how we were going to do it. I agreed with that, it just didn’t make it easier.

  When I pulled into the bar, right from the road, I took a second to try and calm my nerves before I went in. Matt was pretty intuitive, and if I looked off, he would know. I grabbed one of my bottles of water and downed it while trying to steady my nerves and focus on the work ahead.

  It was still wild to me that we’d opened already. Things had moved so quickly, I hadn’t even really had time to process it.

  I sighed and got out of the car, walking in just before five. The bar would be open at seven, but Matt and some of the other crew were already inside. Matt had called to ask where I had gone when I left work, so he knew I wasn’t coming in too early, and I expected him to be surly again. Instead, as I closed the door behind me and locked it, he popped his head up over the counter of the bar with a wide smile.

  “Hey, brother,” he said. “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah,” I said, keeping my eyes down so I didn’t make eye contact, “just had some stuff to take care of. Sorry I’m late.”

  “It’s all good,” he said, shockingly cheery. “The place wasn’t in too bad a shape when we closed up last night, and I couldn’t sleep anyway, so I came in early and tidied up. Last night was great, wasn’t it?”

  “It was,” I said, making my way back down the hall toward the office. I swung the door open and hung my jacket before heading back to the floor. “So, same plan as last night?”

  “I think so,” Matt said. “Though I don’t think you will need to be behind the bar at all. Cris and Lamont don’t seem to need any help. Maybe you could help get the food out of the kitchen? We got a little behind a couple times last night.”

  “Sounds good,” I said. “You going to make it all night on no sleep?”

  “If something smells funny, just come check and make sure I didn’t fall asleep on the stove,” Matt said.

  I laughed. At least his mood seemed to have done a one-eighty, which was good. I didn’t know if I would be able to handle a full night of Cranky Matt.

  “Will do,” I said.

  “Alright, well, I have some prep work in the kitchen. Want to help me?” he asked.

  “As long as you make me one of those buffalo sandwiches. I’m starving.”

  “Deal,” Matt said, and I followed him into the kitchen to prepare for the night.

  The night went really well for the most part. Only occasionally did someone seem like they might have had one too many drinks before coming in or needed to be cut off at the bar, but they were generally amiable about it. The bouncers had much less to do, and the business was packed but not as hectic as opening night. The customers seemed to be in a good mood, and the waitstaff was excited by how well they were being tipped, so they were doing great.

  I found it difficult not to blurt out to Matt what was spinning through my head, but I was able to make it. Part of the ability to make it through was that Matt seemed to be enjoying himself quite a bit. Multiple times he left the kitchen and ambled around the floor, greeting customers, and generally having a good time. Portland seemed to have rubbed off on him, all thanks to one night out, and I felt like it would actually be difficult to get him to go back to Astoria. At least as long as things kept going well.

  I needed to talk to someone, and Matt probably wasn’t it. As I wiped down a table and turned it over, I thought about how Hannah was probably at home, alone, with my baby inside her and no one to help her or protect her. It drove me mad, and I could feel futile urges of protective rage fill up inside me with no outlet. I couldn’t be angry or mean or sad. I had to just get on with the job and try not to screw up the new bar with my attitude.

  When the night finally ended and we closed up shop with little fuss, I turned to Matt, who was talking animatedly with Cris. I walked over to them, putting on my jacket and checking for my keys. Matt looked over at me, seeing me in my jacket, and looked at me curiously.

  “You heading out?” he asked.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Long day going back and forth. Need some sleep. You should get some rest, too, you know.”

  “I know,” Matt said. “Can’t pour from an empty cup. I’ll get out of here soon.”

  “Alright,” I said. “I’m out.”

  “Hey, make sure you get up earlyish tomorrow. I have something we need to go do,” Matt said as I walked away. Rather than ask what it was, I simply pointed my finger up in the air and kept walking away, acknowledging I heard him without turning around.

  I got into my car and drove to the hotel, thoughts of Hannah and my baby swirling. I hadn’t been able to get them off my mind all night, and I had come to the decision that something needed to change. I wasn’t going to be able to leave Hannah alone during her pregnancy for so long. It just wouldn’t happen. There was only one person to talk to about that, and I needed to just find the confidence and make the call. When I woke up in the morning, I was going to give Tom a ring and sort this whole thing out.

  I fell into my bed just after four and slept like a rock until my alarm went off at noon. Not thirty seconds later, there was a knock on my door.

  “Hang on,” I said, getting up and sliding into my shirt. I opened the door to the grinning face of Matt, a coffee in hand.

  “I said earlyish,” he said. “Noon is not earlyish. Why are you still asleep?”

  “I’m not asleep. I’m standing here,” I said, taking the coffee.

  “That was mine, but fine,” he said, coming in and going directly to my coffee maker to make a replacement. “I’ve been thinking.”

  “That’s dangerous,” I quipped. I was proud of myself for that one, considering I was still mostly asleep until half the coffee was in me.

  “Funny,” he said. “I’ve been thinking we need to go apartment hunting today.”

  “Eh,” I said. He was right, and I knew it, but I just didn’t want to face it. I didn’t want to find an apartment in Portland. That seemed too concrete, too final. “I suppose so.”

  “You sound thrilled,” Matt said.

  “Yeah, well, I just woke up.”

  “So, you were asleep.”

  “Can we just not?” I asked.

  “Get your clothes on. I’ll be back in twenty minutes and we can head out.”

  I grimaced into my coffee but kept drinking. It was terrible stuff, but it did the job. Eventually, I downed it and got up, stretching for a few minutes and doing a two-minute workout. It wasn’t going to be enough for the day, but I had to do something or else I’d feel off all day. After that, I hopped in for a five-minute shower, got dressed, and was ready to go when Matt knocked again.

  “I am genuinely impressed,” he said as I opened the door and walked out. “I had it at about eighty percent chance you lay back down to go to sleep.”

  “Can’t,” I said. “Marines. Once you’re up, you’re up.”

  “Ahh, yes, the desert,” he said. Matt was probably the only person in the world who could poke fun at that and I wouldn’t get offended. I knew he respected my choice to go, but he also liked to rib me for being dramatic. It was how he dealt with being uncomfortable. We had never talked about my time there, and he had never asked. The others had, but never Matt. He just poked fun at me, and I laughed. It was understood.

  The first place we visited was awful, but the next few weren’t so bad. One, just a couple blocks from the bar, bowled Matt over, and I could see he was about thirty seconds from saying yes when I took him aside.

  “Hey,” I said. “I don’t want you to get offended, but I think we should have separate places.”

  “Oh?” Matt asked. “Planning on having a string of ladies over you don’t want your little brother screwing up? I get it.”

  “No, it’s not that,” I said, smil
ing. “I just… I don’t know if Hannah is going to want to come up and spend some time up here, and I have nightmares, and neither one of us do well living with other people. You almost threw your last roommate off the roof, remember?”

  “Well, he was on the roof playing a bagpipe at three in the morning. No jury would have convicted me.”

  “That might be true, but you and I both know we’d be at each other’s throats if we lived together and worked together all the time.”

  “Yeah,” Matt said. “But I’m getting a place here. My only rule is you can’t be more than five miles from here. That way we can coordinate easily even if there’s bad weather.”

  “Deal,” I said. “Now go get your keys.”

  Matt walked away and finished up with the agent, taking an apartment on the top floor.

  It took three other places before I gave up and accepted an apartment just a few blocks away from Matt and a little further down from the bar. It gave me a better walk in the morning, which I liked, and it kept Matt and me from being on top of each other. I hated hurting his feelings, but he knew it was true. I was never good living with anyone.

  Hannah was the only exception.

  Settling on an apartment felt like betrayal. The only time I ever felt okay was when Hannah was wrapped up in my arms. Signing a lease in Portland felt like I was giving up on that being my reality anytime soon.

  34

  Hannah

  I was hoping that I would get used to Jordan being gone. Maybe it would be one of those things where it was really difficult at first, but if I could just get through the first day or two, it would be easier. Then I would get used to it and it wouldn’t be anywhere near as hard.

  Then when those first couple of days passed and it wasn’t any easier, I told myself that I was going to give myself permission to pull the pregnancy card for the first time. I was missing Jordan for two. That meant I just had to get through a couple of more days, and then things would settle down.

  As it turned out, that logic didn’t work, either. I got through those next couple of days, and it wasn’t any easier. If anything, it was actually harder. The longer he was away, the more I missed him. That didn’t bode well. Especially considering we were looking at a six-month separation. And that was if they got someone to run the place that they trusted to leave there in that time.

  I didn’t want to be that woman. The kind of woman who absolutely had to have a man close by every second or expected him to change his life to fit mine. After all, I hadn’t been willing to change mine for him yet. I couldn’t expect anything different from him.

  No matter how much I wanted to.

  A week after he left again, it was my day off. My plan was to go to the library to put some finishing touches on the mural, but when I woke up, it was pouring. The rain didn’t let up through my daily communion with the bathroom floor, shower, or breakfast of tea and dry toast. By the time I’d gotten through two terrifying true crime documentaries I probably shouldn’t be watching, I figured the trip to the library was officially out.

  That meant I got to resort to plan B for my day off: comfortable clothes, my favorite blanket, and some time curled up on the couch with a stack of books and the remote in close reach. Usually by the afternoon my appetite was back, and I had a few hours without waves of nausea, so I put together lunch and brought it into the living room with me.

  It didn’t take long before I was missing Jordan too much not to call him. He sounded tired when he answered the phone.

  “You doing okay?” I asked.

  “Yeah,” he said, sounding like he was trying to swallow down a yawn. “I knew this was going to be a lot of work, but it’s been harder than I was expecting. I don’t remember it being like this when we opened the first place.”

  “You’re trying to change the reputation,” I said. “You have something that was already so popular to live up to, and the name traveled.”

  “That’s true,” he said. “It’s a lot to live up to. I couldn’t believe how many people showed up for the grand opening from Astoria. They drove all the way to Portland to stand in line just to be there for the opening because they like the first location so much.”

  “That’s pretty amazing, though, when you think about it. These people enjoy The Hollow so much they went ninety minutes out of their way to support the new location. They want to feel like a part of it.”

  “It is. I just hope we’re living up to their expectations.”

  “I’m sure you are,” I said.

  “I’m sorry. I’m sitting here going on about what I’m doing, and I didn’t even ask how you are,” he said.

  “It’s okay.”

  “No, it’s not. How are you feeling? How’s everything going?” he asked.

  “Pretty much the same. Still dealing with being sick throughout the day, but I probably have a few weeks of that ahead of me still. I’m just trying to get through it and find ways to deal with it. I made an appointment with the doctor, but it’s not until next week.”

  “It will be exciting to find out everything.”

  That wasn’t exactly the response I was hoping for. It made a heavy feeling start forming in my stomach.

  “Do you think you’re going to be home for it?” I asked.

  He hesitated. “I’m not sure. Actually, there’s something I should tell you. I got an apartment here in Portland.”

  My heart sank. “You did?”

  “Tom arranged for it. He said we couldn’t just keep staying at the hotel when we were down here. That I needed to have a place to settle in so I could really focus on the bar,” Jordan said.

  So many emotions went through my mind, I didn’t know where my thoughts were going to land. I couldn’t really say I was surprised at the development. After all, Tom had been insisting on him moving down to Portland. Even though Jordan was resistant to the idea, it was the plan.

  Even if he didn’t make the move permanent, it was obvious he would be there frequently and for potentially long stretches of time. It made sense for him to have a home base there rather than always staying at the hotel. I still didn’t know how to feel about it. So instead of trying to come up with an emotion, I swallowed hard.

  “Do you still think it’ll only be six months?” I asked.

  “I don’t know. Everything is still up in the air. But maybe you could come check it out sometime soon. I think you would really like it here. The area around the apartment is really nice. It’s great for walking around and people-watching. I think you would enjoy it. Then, if you did, maybe you would stay for longer.”

  He was trying to be nonchalant about it, but the question hung heavily between us. It reminded me of the argument we had before he left. Just like then, I wasn’t willing to back down.

  “I just started getting settled in Astoria,” I said. “Moving out here from New York was huge. I’m still trying to get used to it and really find my way here. I’m really comfortable and happy here, and I’m not ready to just pick up and move all over again. Besides, I like having my own place. I never have before. I’ve always been surrounded by people and suffocated by what they want from me.”

  “You think I would suffocate you?”

  “That’s not what I’m saying, Jordan,” I said. “This isn’t about you. This is about me. I told you from the beginning leaving New York and coming all the way out here was about me reclaiming my life. I didn’t want to be controlled anymore.”

  “So, now I’m controlling, too,” he said.

  “Stop it. You’re twisting my words. I just said this isn’t about you. I just can’t be expected to make decisions like this so fast, or to just give up everything I’ve started to build here already. I wasn’t expecting any of this. Right now, I just need to take one step at a time,” I said.

  Jordan let out a long breath. “I know. I’m sorry. It’s just… Never mind. You’re right.”

  His words fell off into tense silence. We tried to pick the conversation back up, but it was weird a
nd awkward. Finally, I told him I was going to take a nap, and he agreed he needed to get ready to go to the bar. We stumbled our way through a tense goodbye and got off the phone.

  I curled up on the couch and brought the blanket down over me, just wanting to close my eyes for a little while. It seemed the tiredness Samantha warned me about was setting in more now, and I didn’t want it to catch up with me too much. I had only just relaxed when someone knocked on the door.

  It couldn’t be Jordan. As dramatic as that would be, I doubted he would have that whole conversation with me while on his way to my house and not tell me. The payoff of showing up at my door wasn’t really enough to justify that.

  Wrapping the blanket around myself, I went over to the door and peeked out. I was surprised to see Becca and Ava standing outside. They smiled at me when I opened the door, but their expressions turned to concern when they saw the blanket.

  “Are you okay?” Ava asked.

  “What’s wrong?” Becca asked.

  I shook my head. “I was just resting a little. I’m fine. What are you two doing here?”

  Becca glanced over at Ava. “We just thought we would stop by and check on you. See how you’re doing.”

  “Come on in,” I said. They followed me inside, and I brought them into the living room. “Anybody want some tea? Ava?”

  “Sounds good,” she said. “This little one is causing me some trouble this time around. It wasn’t so bad last time.”

  “I’m with you there,” I said. “I mean, I don’t have any prior experience, but so far, it’s a doozy.”

  The women laughed as I headed into the kitchen to put the pot on to heat. I could hear them in the living room talking about Becca’s pregnancy and the symptoms she went through. She laughed, saying how she didn’t believe Tyler didn’t catch on. She was sure there were days when it was so obvious.