Boss Daddy: A Secret Baby Romance

by Black, Natasha L.

  It made me feel good to hear them in there. Not just because I didn’t feel so alone in my situation with Jordan and the baby, but also because of the friendship I’d found in them.

  I filled a tray with the pot, cups with tea bags, and a plate of cookies and brought it into the living room. Setting it on the coffee table, I curled back into the corner of the couch and draped my blanket over my lap.

  “So,” Becca said, looking at Ava, then at me. “Have you told Jordan yet?”

  “Ah, so now the truth comes out,” I said with a teasing lift of my eyebrow as I poured hot water into my cup. “The real reason you came over here.”

  “No, we really did want to check on you,” Becca started.

  “Yes,” Ava said, nodding.

  “I told him,” I said.

  “So?” Ava asked. “How did it go? How did he react?”

  I let out a sigh, some of the humor draining away from me. “I mean, he took it better than I could have imagined. Really. There was a misunderstanding with the phones, and he actually drove all the way back here just to talk to me about it. He was really sweet and supportive. Said he was happy about it.”

  “So why do you look less than pleased?” Becca asked.

  “Because he’s still in Portland,” I said. “I know I’m being selfish and maybe a little ridiculous. But I just hate that he’s there. And he has no idea when he’s going to come back. He told me today he got an apartment.”

  Ava nodded. “I heard about that. But just because he thought he would be more comfortable having his own place than being in the hotel all the time.”

  “And you’re allowed to be a little selfish right now,” Becca said. “It’s not like you’re just clinging to him because you’re needy. You want him here because you’re carrying his child. That makes sense. I can’t even imagine having Tyler away from me while I was pregnant. Even when he didn’t know. I just wanted him around. Even when I acted like I didn’t.”

  Ava laughed. “I remember those days. At least you told him. I’m really glad you didn’t try to hide it. I know it wasn’t easy, but you did the right thing. And I’m really glad Jordan took it so well. I figured he might. I’ve known him pretty much his whole life. He’s a good man.”

  “Yes, he is,” I said. “I just miss him. And even though he’s only ninety minutes away, he’s so busy right now, he can’t really drop things and come back when I want him to.”

  They nodded empathetically and sipped their tea as I poured out everything that happened between us and Ethan’s threats. There wasn’t any hesitation, nothing holding me back from telling them everything. I realized then just how close I had gotten to these two women. Other than Samantha, they were the closest, truest friends I had ever had.

  But when they looped back to talking about Portland, I moved the conversation on as quickly as I could. I didn’t want to talk about him wanting me to move to Portland or my hesitation. I needed to figure out what I thought about it first.

  35

  Jordan

  Another long night. Another cold sweat. Another nightmare that woke me up when it got too real and I felt like screaming and thrashing at things that turned out to not be there. I sat up, my chest heaving as I tried to take in enough oxygen to fill my lungs. My eyes darted around the room, looking for the shadow men that had just been chasing me in the dream. Listening for the cries of the baby locked in the room alone. Searching for Hannah’s body.

  None of them were there. I knew that. But I had to try, or else I would go mad.

  I got out of the bed and looked around, opening the sliding door and stepping out onto the balcony. I was only wearing boxers, but I didn’t care. Being on the middle floor of a hotel at seven in the morning meant that I was likely invisible to the people going about the beginnings of their day. I sat down on the cold concrete and put my head in my hands. I had to get a grip. I had to figure this out.

  It had been two weeks since I had been around Hannah. In those two weeks I might have slept through the night once.

  When Hannah was by my side at night, I would sleep all the way through. I didn’t have nightmares with her. I barely dreamed at all. Usually, I would fall so deeply into sleep that the next thing I was conscious of was waking up, smelling her skin and kissing her shoulder or the top of her head. Without her, I was a mess.

  Our last real conversation was me telling her I was getting an apartment and asking her to move in with me. I knew it was a lot. I knew it was soon. But she was carrying my child. The rules were out the window, and we were making it up as we went along. But she acted so weird when I asked.

  She was independent, and I knew that. I loved that. But for the past two weeks, our conversations were brittle and depthless. They felt more like checking in, making sure the other was alive. None of them lasted more than five minutes before one of us would find a reason to get off. Usually, it was either that we were going to work or going to bed. As much as I wanted to talk to her, I couldn’t think of anything to say. Everything I wanted to say would start a fight.

  She was going to share her space with a baby soon. Why couldn’t she share a space with me? I turned it over and over in my mind but never brought it up. It had to be enough that I got to talk to her at all.

  Matt was able to move into his apartment almost immediately, but I had to wait the two weeks for mine. It meant I was at the hotel alone, and that made it worse. Being at an apartment alone was one thing, but a hotel was something wholly different and far lonelier. It meant coming into a building full of people, all on vacations or work trips or dates. All of them with someone to hold or with a purpose for work. For me it was just surviving until the next day.

  I helped Matt move in and then went to the store to get a couple of air mattresses. Matt’s place was already furnished, but mine wasn’t, and I didn’t plan on putting a bunch of stuff in it. Matt chose a two-bedroom spot and had a bed for me in case I needed to stay for some reason, and I returned the favor by buying an extra mattress for him. He laughed at the idea, but I could see he appreciated it anyway. It was a token, but it was something to show him I thought about him, too. We were there for each other.

  Now that he seemed to be getting along and had people to talk to, things were moving along pretty well for him.

  I wished I was happy. But I couldn’t be, not with Hannah back in Astoria. Not with me moving into an apartment I didn’t want in a city I didn’t want to be in.

  It was pretty early in the day, and I had already made my call to Tom. There wasn’t much to move, so I figured I would be done and set up before Tom called me back. My furniture was simply the air mattresses, a futon that I found at a thrift store three buildings down that was twenty bucks, a nightstand, and a television. I didn’t watch a lot of TV, especially since I was usually at work when anything good was on, but having it there meant I could plug in my streaming stick and watch stuff to go to bed to. Or, more often, I could put it on in the background when I was awake so I didn’t feel so alone.

  When everything was inside, Matt headed back to his own place to get ready for work, and I hooked up the streaming stick to get something on while I put away my clothes in the closet. It was a studio, so everything was in one big room, aside from the bathroom and the closet on one wall. I preferred it that way if I was alone. I could see everything. If I woke up in the middle of the night, there were no rooms for me to assume someone was in. Less broken doorknobs that way.

  I had only just started getting my clothes in the closet when my phone rang. I ran to grab it off the nightstand where it sat charging, hoping it was and simultaneously hoping it wasn’t Hannah. I wanted to talk to her. I wanted to have fun with her over the phone. But I didn’t want to hear that distance in her voice, that hesitation of knowing that I wanted her there with me and she didn’t want to come.

  Instead, Tom’s name flashed across the screen. I swiped to open it and cleared my throat.

  “Hey, Tom.”

  “Jordan, what’s up?
I saw you called,” he said.

  “You know, I don’t really remember why I called,” I lied. Suddenly with him on the phone with me, it didn’t make any sense to talk to him about it. I couldn’t tell him about Hannah being pregnant right after I signed a lease on an apartment. What was he going to do? How could he fix it? He couldn’t. All it would do is put him in an awkward position and make him feel guilty.

  “Oh,” Tom said. “Because I heard your voicemail and it seemed like you wanted to speak to me about something important. Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah.” I paused. How much was I willing to lie to my brother? How much was I willing to lie to myself? “I’m just missing home, I think. Not used to not having everyone around. Look, I’ve got to get going. I still need a shower before I head into the bar.”

  There was silence on the other end for a moment. “Alright,” he said, finally. “If there was something going on, you could tell me, you know.”

  “I know.”

  “Well, if you happen to remember what it was,” Tom said, “just call me back on the cell. If I don’t answer, call the office number and have them page me.”

  “Will do,” I said. “Thanks, Tom.”

  “Sure. Have a good one,” he said, and I hung up.

  I stood staring at the closet for a few moments before tossing the hanger back on the air mattress and going to the door to put on my shoes. I was halfway down the street before I realized exactly what it was I was doing. I was knocking on Matt’s door before I knew what I was going to say.

  “Hey,” Matt said as he opened the door. His expression fell from pleasantly surprised to worried when he got a look at my face. “What’s going on, dude?”

  “Can I come in?”

  “Mi casa, su casa, come on,” he said, and I walked inside. He shut the door behind me as I paced in his living room. “Jordan, what’s going on, man?”

  “I think… I think I need to take a few days off to get my stuff. Like, really pack it all up and just make the move up here, you know? Looking around my room, it was nuts, man. I can’t live with air mattresses and a futon. I need to just bite the bullet and move up here, like you did.” The words all spilled out of me without much of a breath between them. Matt stared at me with his hands on his hips. It was his Superman stance, and I used to make fun of him for it all the time. Anytime he was presented with something he didn’t know how to handle, he stood like he was a superhero and waited until he figured it out.

  “Sure,” he said finally. “I think I can handle that. Do you need to leave now?”

  “No, I can close tonight. I think I’ll leave in the morning, though,” I said.

  “Alright,” Matt said. “I can handle that. No problem. We have a good staff. I should make it a couple days without you, but you better come back.”

  I laughed. “I will.” I didn’t know if I believed it, but I said it anyway.

  Later that night, I helped close the bar with little fanfare. Business was down from the past week or so, but still busy. The novelty of being brand-new had mostly worn off. Matt didn’t seem worried, so I didn’t stress it. I had other things to do.

  That night, more so than any of the others, I had a hard time sleeping. When I did, I felt like I could smell Hannah’s skin beside me, and I slept like a rock. But I kept waking up to her not being there beside me on the rapidly deflating mattress and struggled to go back to sleep.

  36

  Hannah

  I put down my paintbrush and took a step back so I could take in the entire mural. A smile came to my face. It was finally finished. I had to admit, there were a few moments there when it felt a little touch and go. So much had been going on in my life, I worried I might not be able to accomplish what I hoped I would when the library asked me to do the piece.

  But I kept pushing through, and I had finally just put the final strokes in place. It wasn’t what I had in mind when I first started. Things changed, and my plans grew and altered as the weeks in Astoria marched on. It felt like the longer I lived there and the more I got to know the town, the better I was able to understand what I was creating.

  Aside from that, it resembled what I’d first concocted when I was making the sketches. It felt like so long ago that I saw looking at a blank wall and drawing out my ideas. The images I showed off to Becca were far different than what I ended up with, but I was happy with the final results. It was even better than I had imagined.

  I needed to add another coat of sealant spray to make sure the paint remained intact for as long as possible. But that would have to wait until the next day. The first coat needed a chance to dry and cure, so I decided I would return the next morning to truly finish it off.

  “It looks amazing,” a woman said as she walked past holding the hand of her little child.

  I remembered her as one of the mothers I had seen a few times before while working on the project. I smiled at her.

  “Thank you,” I said. “I’m just finished it up.”

  She nodded. “I’ve been watching the progress. It’s great.”

  “Thank you so much.”

  The little girl tugged on her hand, trying to compel her to the playing field. She laughed and waved at me. I returned the wave and watched them walk away before packing up my tools. I was still smiling from the compliment when I got into the car and drove home.

  Thinking about nothing more than the rumbling of hunger in my stomach, I unlocked the front door. I was considering indulging a particularly strong craving for Indian food as I walked into the house when I noticed something out of the corner of my eye. Stopping in my tracks, I turned to look.

  The movement I noticed was Ethan flipping a pregnancy test around in his hands as he sat on the couch and stared at it. My breath caught in my throat, and heat shot up the back of my neck and onto my cheeks. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest, and cold sweat broke out on my skin.

  Instinctively, my hand went to my pocket to find my phone. Only, it wasn’t there. I remembered I’d stuffed it into my bag along with my paints. That meant it was in the car. My hand moved out of my pocket and brushed briefly across my belly. Thinking about the vulnerable, fragile baby inside, my fear shifted to anger.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked, demanding his attention. “Get out of my house.”

  Ethan looked up at me coolly, unaffected by the intensity of my voice. He glanced down at the pregnancy test again, then at me, holding it up.

  “What’s this?” he asked.

  “You went through my drawers? How dare you.”

  It was the only way he could have gotten the test. As shocked and unsure of my emotions as I was the day I found out I was pregnant, I still wanted to remember it. I’d kept one of the tests I took and tucked it away in my drawer as a memento. Now, Ethan was holding it.

  His face still devoid of emotion and his body language disturbingly calm almost to the point of being subdued, he looked at the plastic stick again.

  “There’s no result on it,” he said.

  “They fade.”

  I couldn’t believe this was happening. It was too surreal to be standing there in my living room, explaining the function of a pregnancy test to Ethan. I still couldn’t figure out how he even got into my house. Now I was wondering what else he had gone through, how much more he violated my space.

  “So?” he asked.

  It wasn’t an entire question, but I knew exactly what he was asking. Part of me hesitated. If I denied it, maybe it would be safer. But on the other hand, maybe not. Besides, I was tired of bending to him. He didn’t control my life anymore. He wasn’t even a part of it. I wanted him gone, and he needed to face reality.

  “I’m pregnant, Ethan.”

  His eyes widened, and he put the test down before standing up like he was going to take a step toward me. I held my ground even though I wanted to get as far away from him as possible.

  “I can’t believe it,” he said. His tone surprised me, sounding almost happ
y. “This is incredible.”

  “What?” I asked.

  “We’re going to have a baby,” he said.

  I shook my head adamantly. “No, Ethan. No, we are not going to have a baby. I’m having a baby. You aren’t the father.”

  “Of course I am.”

  “Listen to me. This is not your baby. This is Jordan’s baby,” I said.

  He shook his head, a look approaching maniacal on his face. “That’s supposed to be our child. We’re supposed to have children together.”

  “No. We aren’t. I broke up with you. It’s over between us. It has been for a long time. You need to move on and leave me alone.”

  “I can’t do that, Hannah. Especially now. You’re pregnant, and I’m going to make it right,” he said.

  He was starting to really scare me. There was something off about his tone. He didn’t sound like he was thinking clearly.

  “What are you talking about?” I asked.

  “You don’t need to worry,” he said. “This is all going to be just fine. I read somewhere that if a woman is married to someone other than the biological father, it doesn’t matter. When the baby is born, the husband is automatically the father. It’s on the birth certificate and everything. No one has to know anything else.”

  “We aren’t getting married,” I said. “You’re being completely crazy.”

  Ethan took a threatening step toward me. His eyes flashed and his expression became angry and bitter. He made a menacing movement that put him between me and access to the front door. I couldn’t get out of the house, but I needed to get away from him. I ran as fast as I could to my room and slammed the door shut.

  My hand shook as I locked the door, then ran into the bathroom and locked myself in there. If I’d been able to fit into the linen closet or in the cabinet under the sink, I probably would have gotten in. I wanted to put as much space and as many obstacles as possible between Ethan and me.