What Remains

by Sarah Brocious

Her eyes lit. “You live here? Uncle Terry lives here too!” She looked at me with awe and I was relieved to know that my family would know to whom she belonged.

  “Terry is my brother,” I announced proudly.

  This also seemed to please her.

  “Now, Mady, I would feel a whole lot better if I knew your family was okay with you being here.”

  “It’s okay,” she tried to assure me.

  I smiled. She was so darn cute. “Once I have your parent’s permission, you can swing. I just would really like to know who you belong to.” I pushed a strand of hair from her eyes.

  “She’s mine.”

  Madeline and I started at the voice. I was turned speechless, but she responded by giggling and swinging her legs.

  “Hey, Hadley,” he said softly. Those hazel eyes held me captive as he stepped up onto the porch.

  I blinked and tried to swallow. “Hello, Max.” I heard the tremor in my voice. Had he just said she was his?

  “Hey, Daddy.”

  “Hey, doll,” he murmured, turning his eyes from me. “You were supposed to stay in the yard.”

  Madeline’s legs stopped swinging. She looked at him warily trying to figure out if she was in trouble or not. “I saw this lady on the swing. I thought it was Mrs. Wright. But then I got up here and it wasn’t.”

  His brow raised high. “Not an excuse. You ask first.”

  She nodded. “Yes, Daddy.” Her lip trembled. “But can I stay?” She looked to me. “She’s Uncle Terry’s sissy.”

  That crooked grin appeared on his lips. It affected me as much now as it had then. “Yeah, I know who she is, doll.” He looked to me and the look on his face was pure affection. “I’ve known Hadley for a good long while.”

  My brain gave permission for my stomach to release more butterflies. I wanted to ask him to stop looking at me like that. No, affectionate glances were definitely not allowable. “She…she’s okay staying here. She’s not bothering me at all.” I nervously adjusted the messy ponytail and inwardly grimaced at my appearance. It was his first time seeing me in all these years and I looked a hot mess.

  He looked amused at my action, as if reading my mind. “I need to get her cleaned up anyway. We are heading to a party. Picnic down at the lake.” He paused and cleared his throat as if suddenly embarrassed. Sudden memories at that lake flashed through my brain and I tamped them down. “Thank you, though.” He reached a hand out to Madeline and she hopped down and grabbed it.

  “I want to stay, Daddy,” she complained.

  He ignored her. “Thanks for watching out for her. Mady, tell Hadley thank you.”

  Madeline gave a winning grin. “Thanks, Hadley.”

  I smiled back. “You are most welcome.”

  Max turned her about and sent her in the direction of the stairs. He threw me another glance. “Good seeing you.” He gave a nod and turned to go.

  “I…I saw you fixing the car. That car. Y…you still like to restore. It’s beautiful…” my voice trailed off. I had grasped for anything because I feared him leaving my presence. How fickle was I? And I had just admitted to him that I was spying on him.

  It worked, though. He stopped and shoved his hands into his pockets as if bashful. “Yeah, thanks. She’s a Shelby Cobra…1965.” He glanced toward said car. “My Papa had it in his garage for years and when he passed, I got it.” A sudden sadness washed over his face.

  I wanted to go to him. The feeling was so strong, that I had to grip the swing just to prevent myself from making a scene. “I’m sorry. I just found out,” I said softly.

  He shrugged. “Yeah, you’ve missed a lot,” he murmured.

  I bit my lip against a retort. Something like, “I wasn’t here because of your actions” wanted to escape. But I held my tongue.

  There was silence between us for a moment and then he cleared his throat. “Was good seeing you,” he repeated his earlier words. The hazels were gentle. He patted one of the porch posts. “Good memories on this old porch.”

  I smiled. Late nights sitting out on the steps with Max and Terry when we were little and then nights out on the porch with just Max, stealing kisses. Good memories indeed. “Was a long time ago, Max.”

  He nodded. “Yeah, it was.” He patted the post again, turning shy suddenly. “You look great, Hadley,” he murmured. The crooked grin flashed and then he was heading down the stairs. He grabbed Madeline up and over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, making her squeal with delight.

  I watched them down the sidewalk, up their driveway, and into the house. The whole time my mind trying to grasp the fact that Max Brandon was a dad.

  My mom made an appearance. “You going to get dressed?”

  My brow furrowed. “Why?”

  “Terry met with Mr. Doakes to give him his car but the shop will be closed today. Closed up because of the picnic at the lake. He’ll be back soon and its already late morning. It will be nice to be by the lake, have some food, some fellowship. The whole town will be there.”

  I grimaced, remembering Ana’s announcement at the cafe. “Mom, I don’t think I’m up for it.”

  She frowned. “Get dressed, young lady. I’ve already told several you will be there. It would be rude not to show up.”

  I sighed when I saw the determination in my Mom’s eyes. There was no fighting it. I was going to that picnic.

  Chapter 4 Towns and Their Picnics

  This was an all too familiar, the scene before me. A hundred times, if not more, I had beheld it. There were tables set up and folding chairs tucked underneath a safe distance from the waters edge. There were several grills sending off smoke and smells of deliciousness. A few tables off to the side were covered in the likes of potato salad, green bean casserole, baked beans, macaroni, rolls, desserts, and so many other edible delights. The people. These people were familiar, older, but familiar. There were groups of chatterers and even a ball game started already. Children and adults alike were in the water…splashes and laughter for everyone. I smiled at the familiarity. I shouldn’t have fought about coming. I needed this.

  I followed closely to my mom, clutching the apple pie, still warm, with hot pads. She led me directly to the dessert section and motioned where I was to leave it. She carried her own treasure, coleslaw, to its proper destination. My dad, not too far behind, had a large platter heaping with fried chicken. I had smelled mom cooking it earlier but had assumed it was for this evening’s dinner. I salivated over it now and it was just barely lunchtime.

  Hands free, I wiped my damp hands on my sundress and then adjusted the tie at my neck. I was glad I had decided on putting my hair up and wearing my bathing suit underneath; it was getting toasty.

  Several greetings were thrown my way as well as looks of surprise and delight. It felt good to have such a reception. That was until I laid eyes on Logan’s parents. A chill ran through me.

  Janelle Stark eyed me now as if I were a pile of garbage. My ex mother in law had no love for me. Neither did Isaac Stark, though he didn’t have as much hatred in his eyes as his wife. I don’t know why I hadn’t anticipated them being here. I had heard more than enough over the phone about what a waste I had been for Logan.

  I offered a small smile that faltered.

  “Don’t mind them.” Terry had arrived and was at my shoulder now. “They don’t know what trash their own son is. You can’t fault them that. Logan is a good liar. You should know that better than anyone. Just forgive them and move on and thank the heavens you are no longer related to them.” He nudged my shoulder with his own.

  I smiled, thankful for the brother I had been blessed with.

  “You gonna swim?” he asked, already pulling his shirt over his head.

  I looked out on the cool lake, feeling a drop of sweat roll down the back of my neck. “Tempting, but shouldn’t I maybe visit?”

  Terry’s answer was to shove a beach towel into my arms. “Lets go.” He set out on a jog toward the waters edge, flipped off his shoes, tossed his towel and
shirt onto the bank, and waded right in. He was just waist deep when he dove full on into the depths.

  I followed with a bit more decorum and laid my towel out gently. I slipped out of my shoes and freed myself of the sundress. I felt self conscious in my blue one piece, but that faded quickly as I stepped into the coolness of the water. Memories came with the freezing cold. I shivered and gingerly made my way out to the deeper portion. I envied Terry, who was already enjoying his swim.

  A sudden burst of freezing water flung upon me shocked me. I gasped and sputtered, ready for a fight.

  “Nothings changed, still afraid of a little water!” Hazel eyes came into view when I had cleared the droplets from my eyes. Max Brandon was laughing at me.

  He was also very shirtless. It was not an unpleasant view; broad shoulders and lean torso. I didn’t even stop to consider if it was proper looking at him this way. I noted unfamiliar tattoos along his chest and arms. And as he reached up to run fingers through his hair, his raised left arm gave me an uninhibited view of the dark angel and my name, still etched in his side.

  “I’m not afraid,” I sputtered out. “It’s just cold.”

  “This?” He sent a splash my way. “This isn’t cold. Baby,” he grunted. A grin teased and finally broke out on his face.

  “I don’t see you hurrying in.”

  The hazels twinkled and Max pushed past me and under the waters surface in an instant. I watched for him to emerge and when he did, he turned back to me. “Baby.”

  I unfolded my arms and felt my stubbornness rise. “Not a baby,” I mumbled, taking a breath and diving under. The coolness only shocked me for an instant but turned quickly to pleasure. When I broke the surface, only feet from him, I stuck out my tongue.

  His laugh did funny things to me, so I kicked my legs to get as far from him as I could. Terry was yelling for me to hurry anyway.

  “So I was wrong. You aren’t a baby.” He was keeping up with me easily.

  I wanted to feel frustrated, but I couldn’t. He was being so…well, Max…amicable and sweet and teasing. All of those things were the man I remembered. I needed him to not be so Max. I needed him to be distant and guilty; the way I had been picturing him the last eight years.

  We reached Terry, who looked pleased to see the two of us together, and treaded water as we glanced back at the shore.

  “Remember the last time we were all out at the lake together?” Terry asked with reminiscence in his voice. “We all camped out with Ana and Derek and Logan? We were celebrating Ana’s and Hadley’s graduation.”

  Terry and Max had graduated four years prior. Being of age, they had purchased beer and snuck it to us. I’d felt so grown up that night.

  “It was a good night,” Max agreed.

  “Yeah, you and Ley snuck off as I recall, leaving us for hours. What was that all about?” Terry had a mischievous look on his face and he splashed water into Max’s face.

  I felt my neck get hot.

  “Went for a walk is all,” Max defended. The corner of his mouth tipped up. “It was a really great walk, though.”

  I met his gaze and felt warmth shoot all through me. Quickly I dipped under the water to hide my embarrassment. I didn’t want to talk about that walk with my brother. I didn’t want to think of being wrapped up with Max, his lips against my neck in the dark cover of the trees. I didn’t want to remember my fingers in his hair or his body pressed to mine. Our hearts were racing and sanity was leaving us behind. I didn’t want to remember the words spoken that night and the promises that were uttered and then soon broken. I had almost given myself to him that night and he had almost taken what I was offering. We had stopped though by some miracle. Our hearts slowed down and we just talked for hours, making plans for our future; a future that wasn’t to be.

  I gasped, breaking the surface. I would have stayed down under the water all day if my lungs had allowed.

  Terry gave me a strange look. “What was that all about?”

  Max knew. He cleared his throat. “Its Hadley’s way of saying, lets change the subject.” He grinned at me. “Right?”

  I half laughed. “Yes, lets change the subject.” I lifted my brows to Max. “So, Max, how is Bethany?”

  Max’s happy countenance fell.

  “Ley,” Terry admonished.

  “No, really, I’m curious,” I pushed. “Last time I heard, you guys were getting married and having babies…” something in me had broken. I willed myself not to start crying. Maybe the memory of that night and what could have been caused the out lash. He didn’t have a right to be trying to treat me like we were starting up where we finished that night. I didn’t want his smiles, his teasing, and his affectionate glances. He had broken my heart.

  Max’s jaw flexed as though he was controlling the words that wanted to come out. “My queue to leave,” he said softly.

  “Max, don’t go,” Terry sighed. “She doesn’t know.”

  “I know enough,” I whispered. “You stay, Max. I’m leaving.” I started to swim away.

  “You’re good at leaving,” Max said gruffly.

  I turned to look at him and I saw hurt. My heart jerked. I saw true hurt in those amazing eyes. I shook my head and turned away, swimming back to shore. No, he didn’t get to act hurt. It was my heart that was broken.

  I walked up onto the bank, flopped down on my back on my towel, and covered my eyes with my arm. I felt deflated.

  “Look at my Hadley girl, all grown up now aren’t you?”

  I lifted my arm to peek up and then couldn’t help my smile. “Hey, Mrs. Brandon.”

  Evelyn Brandon sat down on the towel next to me, as I sat up. She didn’t even think twice about putting her arm around my wet form. She set a kiss against my temple and took a long studying look into my eyes. “How are you, darling?”

  Maybe it was the joy of seeing her or the honest need to just let it out. Whatever the reason was, I burst into tears. I was mortified by my reaction to her question, but I couldn’t stop the tears.

  Evelyn wrapped both arms around me and let me have my breakdown.

  “I heard it was pretty tough. Not fair what happened to you, Hadley girl.” She shushed and patted my back. “He never deserved you. I wished we could have stopped your leaving.”

  I looked up at her. “We?”

  She nodded. “Max and I.”

  “But Max…” I shook my head and wiped angrily at my tears. “Max is why I left.”

  Her gaze softened. “Because he was not honest with you,” Evelyn whispered. “I know. I told him to set you straight. You have to understand that what happened with Bethany was not something Max had planned.”

  I could feel my brow wrinkling. “Where is Bethany?” I glanced over my shoulder as if expecting her to be standing there.

  “She and Max were divorced a few years back.”

  I blinked in surprise. “But Madeline? “

  Evelyn smiled. “Max said you had met my granddaughter. She’s a precious little thing, isn’t she?”

  I smiled and nodded.

  “When Bethany left, she left Mady too. She was never cut out to be a mother. I think she only had her because she thought it would earn Max’s affection. He was so happy over that baby. He was made to be a father.”

  I had witness to that in just the few seconds I had seen them together. “But, Mady is maybe four. When I left, Bethany was…she and Max were expecting…”

  “She lost the baby. A little boy.” Evelyn nodded. “And he wasn’t Max’s”

  My heart faltered. “What do you mean?”

  Evelyn looked ready to say something, but bit her lip. “You should talk to Max, Hadley girl.” She set a hand to my cheek. “I’m so happy you’re back. I know the circumstances are not the best, but I’m happy you are here.”

  I wanted answers from her, but we were interrupted when Madeline made an appearance, dropping into her grandmas’ lap.

  “Hey, Hadley,” she greeted.

  I threw her a smile.
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  Madeline looked up at her grandma. “Can I swim now?”

  Evelyn smiled and tucked the little ones hair behind her ears. “I don’t have a suit and daddy is out in the deep.”

  Madeline’s big brown eyes were all disappointment.

  I held out my hand. “Come on, Mady. I think I’m ready to go back in.”

  I got a thankful smile from Evelyn and a happy cry from Madeline, who grabbed my hand up. “One hour, and then lunch?” I asked Evelyn.

  “One hour,” she agreed, kissing the top of her granddaughter’s head.

  Madeline and I scurried into the shallow portion of the water and just like her daddy, the first thing she did was splash me. I laughed and couldn’t help thinking, ‘The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.’

  We played for about a half hour before Max came in from the deep. He grabbed up Madeline. “Time for some teaching,” he laughed. “About time you learned to swim.” He gave me a quick nod. “Thanks for watching her.”

  I nodded back and watched him lead Madeline a little further out.

  Madeline looked back at me. “Daddy, Hadley needs teached too.”

  I laughed and waved to her. “I know how to swim, sweetheart. I will see you later, okay?”

  “Kay,” she shouted back with a happy smile.

  Max gave me half a grin. Something about the way he turned from me just then made me sad. I unconsciously waded out after them.

  Evelyn’s words crept back up. “I told him to set you straight.”

  Why didn’t he set me straight then? What had happened? I bit my lip, steeled my heart and shouted after him. “Max!”

  He looked back over his shoulder.

  I swallowed, ignoring the giddy feeling that came with his gaze. “We need to talk. Is…is that okay?”

  He smiled. “We do need to talk.”

  I nodded. “I…not today. Maybe…”

  “Tomorrow,” he said softly. “Can I take you for a ride?”

  My heart rapped against my ribs. I nodded and managed a weak. “Yes.”

  The pleasure that flashed in his eyes was intoxicating. “I’ll come over after she goes down for her afternoon nap. Mom will keep an eye on her.” He grinned. “I still live with my mom…how lame am I?” he teased.