What Remains

by Sarah Brocious

  “Might not be as young as I used to be, but I still have a few good years,” he teased. “Though some mornings I’m finding I creak a bit in the knees.”

  I shook my head at him.

  “Agreed,” Terry laughed. “Getting old is hard work.”

  My dad just rolled his eyes. “Twice your age and you don’t hear me complaining.”

  “You don’t hear him, but I do,” my mom spoke up.

  Her voice was so soft and sweet it softened the blow, but still had us laughing at my dad’s expression. He reached over to touch my mom’s hand and the expression softened. “Well, I still have a few good years left in me, too.”

  I bit the inside of my cheek, suddenly jealous of my own parents. To have what they have! I blinked back tears and looked to Max. His eyes were still on me.

  “After lunch we’ll take that ride?” His deep voice was low and gentle.

  I nodded.

  Chapter 6 Memory Lane

  The wind in my hair felt wonderful. The view of the countryside was healing…and the presence of the man beside me was all too disconcerting. My thoughts raced back to the many times we had flown down these back roads with the music playing, holding hands, willing the car faster. Young love is an experience that never fades from memory.

  I studied Max now, as his concentration was taken up by his driving. He looked at peace. His lips were turned up in a smile. He seemed genuinely happy.

  All those years ago, I would have cuddled into his side, set my head to his shoulder and asked him what he was smiling about. I was horrified to realize I wanted to do just that right now. I looked away from him so as not to give in to that urge.

  We soon arrived at an all too familiar spot. Max pulled off onto the side of the road and gave me a grin. “You want to see if the view has changed?”

  I couldn’t help a smile.

  He hurried out of the car and to my side, opening the door, still wearing that grin. I took his hand as he helped me out. It was a gentle calloused hand, and he didn’t let go, even when I was safely out.

  He led me up the rocky embankment to the top of the hill.

  I laughed when I beheld the view. I let go of his hand and set it over my heart. The rolling hills before me may have altered with the years of wind and rain, but it was still the prettiest view for miles. I felt warmth in my chest and tears in my eyes.

  “Well?” He was watching me. “Has it changed?”

  “I’ve missed it,” I whispered. I sat down in the grass, unable to take my eyes from the picture before me. He sat down with me.

  “I’ve missed you,” he whispered. “Being here with you. Being anywhere with you.”

  I didn’t know what to say to that. I felt the same, but should I be feeling that way?

  “I come up all the time,” he said softly. “Even in the winter.” He peaked over at me and grinned. “It’s a better view at this moment than It has been in a very long time.”

  He reached again for my hand.

  I met his gaze. “Max…”

  “Hadley…” he mocked softly. “It’s not okay to hold your hand?” He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the back gently.

  How did one say no to that? His hazel eyes held me captive. “If all that I believe to be true is, than, no it’s not supposed to be okay.”

  He squeezed my hand. “You said you would let me explain.”

  I yielded, giving him a nod.

  “What was my sin?” His eyes lowered back to my hand, as if he was terrified of what I would say. He rubbed his thumb gently across my knuckles.

  “I said I would let you explain.” My fingers itched to touch the top of that dark, downturned head. I wanted to comfort him, but that was ludicrous. He remained silent, waiting for my answer. “You cheated,” I whispered.

  He hesitated, and then lifted those eyes back to mine. I felt my resolve melting. There was pain and vulnerability there. He swallowed hard and then seemed ready to charge right in. “I didn’t cheat on you.” The hand around mine tightened. “I would never have cheated on you.”

  I wanted to argue the facts, but bit the inside of my cheek. I had to let him speak.

  “I know what it looked like and I would have thought me guilty, too.” He bowed his head. “Tell me what you remember. And I will tell you what really happened.”

  I gave in to the desire and reached with my free hand to touch his dark hair. I let my fingers trail trough the softness. He glanced up with surprise at my affectionate action. Quickly I pulled away.

  “Please, Hadley.”

  I hesitated, but he was so sweetly expectant. I would never be able to say no to him. “That night?”

  He moved closer. “Yes. That night…that day. What Logan told you.”

  “I remember we had a date that night and you didn’t show up. I figured you were working at the shop, or maybe your car had broken down. I walked up to the shop and Terry was there.” I shrugged. “He told me you had gotten a call.” I tore my eyes from his.

  “Do you know who called me?”

  I shrugged. “I assume it was Bethany.”

  He cleared his throat, but didn’t argue. “And then?”

  “Terry and I found that you were over in the next town…at Sandy’s Tavern.”

  “Who called you?”

  “Logan.”

  He nodded. ”I had always wondered how you had known to find me there.”

  I frowned at him. “And how you got caught?”

  His eyes softened. “I went to the tavern,” he whispered. “I went for Logan. He said he needed help that he needed to talk to me.”

  His words confused me. “When I got there, you weren’t with Logan. You were getting in your car with Bethany. You didn’t even acknowledge me.”

  He sighed. “I know. And I wish to this day that I had stopped to explain.”

  I pulled my hand away. “Explain why you were with another woman?” I fought tears.

  “Hadley.”

  I shook my head.

  “You were young. I can understand why Logan’s twisting of the story could be believable. What I can’t understand is how you could just take him at his word without talking to me.” He gently took my face in his hands. “Hadley?”

  “I went to her house the next day,” I whispered. “Before Logan told me the truth. I saw it with my own eyes. You were in her arms, Max. You allowed her kiss.” I trembled, remembering the betrayal I had felt.

  He swallowed hard and shook his head. “Yes I allowed a kiss…and that was all. Hadley…”

  “She was pregnant, Max!” I pushed his hands away. “It takes more than a kiss for that to happen.”

  “I comforted her. That is all. I drove her home because she was drunk and I stayed because I was afraid if I left she wouldn’t make it through the night. I probably should have taken her to the hospital. I’m certain she had alcohol poisoning. I was saying goodbye and she kissed me.“

  “Logan said the two of you had been sneaking off…behind my back. He said you had given up on me because I wouldn’t…because we hadn’t…”

  He shook his head. “I would never have done that. Don’t you know me at all?”

  I shrugged. “Logan said he was taking a trip and I should come, just to get away. So I went.”

  “Without a word,” he accused. “I had no idea what you had seen…what you were thinking.”

  “So you didn’t know that I knew you were cheating? I’m supposed to feel bad for that?”

  He ran his hands through his hair. “I didn’t do anything wrong. I know how it looked, but, Hadley, I didn’t.”

  My heart slammed in my chest. “When you didn’t come after me, I figured you were better off…and I was better off. “ I wiped at a tear. “After being on the road those few days with Logan, I figured…why not a few weeks? A month?” I stared out on the beautiful view, which now was blurred with tears. “And then I found out about Bethany being with child…and that you were caring for her.”

  “She
had no one to care for her, Hadley.” His voice was sad. “Logan called me, said you planned to stay with him. I decided to make something of myself.”

  “You moved in with her…you gave her your name.” Tears spilled down my cheeks now.

  “The child wasn’t mine,” he whispered.

  “Your mom said the same,” I whispered back.

  “He was Logan’s.”

  My heart sank. And it felt as though reality shifted. “What?”

  “Logan called me to the tavern that night after meeting Bethany there. He said he needed my help that Bethany was pregnant and he was going to lose it. When I got there, they were arguing. He was saying he was too young to be saddled with her and the child. She was drunk and inconsolable. I tried to talk sense into them. Logan walked away…must have been when he called you and Terry.”

  My heart sank further.

  “I told Logan he needed to man up and take care of what was his. He didn’t like what I said I guess. I offered to take Bethany home and let him think.“ He reached for my hand. “I saw you there…I knew you were safe with Terry, but I didn’t know Logan would turn things on me. He ran away from her and from the child, and you ran with him.” He took up my hand and turned my wrist. He ran his fingers over the butterfly etched there.

  “What was I to think?”

  He met my gaze. The sadness in his eyes wounded me. “You could have believed the best in me. You could have talked to me.”

  “The circumstances fell so perfectly into order…” The fight was starting to drain from me. His words were sinking in and they rang true.

  “I would never have hurt you that way, Hadley. I felt like you gave up on me.”

  I pulled in a breath. “Why didn’t anyone tell me?”

  “I asked Terry to keep quiet and let you have your space.” He shrugged. “Then you and Logan got married and I thought that maybe you were happy, so what was the point?”

  “I wasn’t happy,” I whispered.

  He drew a finger gently down my cheek. His touch sent shivers right through me. “I would have come for you.”

  “But you were with her…”

  He nodded. “And we lost the first…Logan’s. A few years later came Mady.” He smiled. “Best part of all this.”

  “And then she left?”

  He nodded. “Didn’t hurt near as much as you leaving, though. I knew Bethany had it in her…”

  I buried my face into my hands. I felt his arms go about me. “I messed up,” I cried softly.

  “Come here,” he whispered.

  I crawled into his lap and wrapped my arms around his neck. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to do. His strong arms encircled me and he buried his face into my neck.

  “Take a step with me,” he implored.

  I pulled back to study him. His warm eyes studied me back. “What do you mean?”

  “We are different people now. I love who we were. But lets see who we are now…together.”

  My heart slammed against my ribs. “Okay,” I whispered.

  “I know you have a lot to process.” His hand brushed down the length of my hair. “I’m in no rush, Hadley.” He drew in a breath. “I’ll wait for you.”

  I sighed out a breath, and pulled gently from his arms, wiping my tear covered cheeks. I smiled shyly at him and nodded.

  He smiled back with that crooked boyish grin. His eyes softened and he leaned closer. “I would love to kiss you right now.” His fingers tipped my chin, so that he had my full attention.

  I felt that rush and my heart stalled in my chest.

  He moved closer and I closed my eyes.

  “But I think I will wait just a bit longer.”

  His voice washed over me with its warm tones. That deep sound reverberated in my chest. I opened my eyes with delayed surprise and I found him just looking at me. That look! I should have kept my eyes closed because my disappointment deepened. He was holding back, and that made me want his kiss even more. “W-why?” I hated how unsteady my voice sounded.

  He shrugged with that devilish look still in his eyes. “I know the old Hadley loved my kiss. I’m just getting to know this new Hadley.”

  I frowned. He chuckled.

  “What?” He grinned, making the look in his eyes even more devastating.

  Did he want to make me a simpering fool? Well, I was no longer the young girl he remembered. “Nothing.” I shook my head and shrugged. “But I do hope you have improved from the last time.”

  His jaw dropped.

  I couldn’t hold up my own act with that look of shock on his face. It was adorable. I started to laugh.

  He lifted his brow. And shook his head. “Careful, little girl.”

  I smiled. “I’m not scared of you.” I started when he jumped to his feet.

  He grasped my wrists and pulled me quickly to my feet, before putting me right up and over his shoulder. “Just remember, I’m bigger and stronger,” the timbre in his voice had deepened. He started back to the car.

  I tried not to struggle too much. I should feel offense at his caveman display, but something in the action was way beyond attractive. It was kinda hot! But I would never tell him that. The strength he displayed with his sure-footed jaunted down the steep hill he had just helped me up was impressive.

  “Where are we going?” I yelped.

  He adjusted his stance, and altered my position on his shoulder, so he could open the car door. “Away from here, or I’ll end up doing more than kissing your smart mouth.”

  I smiled, knowing he couldn’t see it. “Yeah, like I’d let that happen.”

  His dark laugh sent warmth through me. “Your story.”

  He dropped me gently back into the passenger seat. I felt dizzy for a moment, but when that cleared I glared back at the handsome devil grinning at me. “My story?”

  He winked. “We both know how you get after a few kisses, Hadley.”

  It was my turn to let my jaw drop.

  Chapter 7 Laying Roots

  It may sound funny to say I wanted to lay down roots in a town I had grown up in, but that was exactly what I wanted to do. All but a few of my old roots had been severed. Max was right; we were two different people. I needed to reestablish myself.

  I needed stability. I needed a job.

  I entered Mrs. Winston’s café Monday morning, sidled up to the counter, and wasted no time. “I’d like that job,” I said confidently.

  Mrs. Winston grinned and threw an apron at me.

  I laughed in surprise. “Now?”

  “No time like the present, Hadley girl.” She tilted her head toward the back. “Come.”

  I tied the apron around my waist as I followed her. I was kind of happy she jumped right in. I had made a choice and she wasn’t about to let me change my mind.

  “Ana waits on the tables and booths mostly. I run between register, counter, and kitchen. You can imagine that gets crazy, even in this little town. This here is our cook Cy…he doesn’t talk all that much, but he makes a mean burger.” She patted the shoulder of the silver haired man at the stove. It was breakfast time and he was flipping pancakes and frying eggs.

  Cy gave me a friendly grin. I tried to see any familiarity but failed.

  “Cy moved here a few years ago,” Mrs. Winston spoke up, as if reading my mind. “We’re lucky to have him.”

  “Joey, our busboy comes in after twelve in the summer and after school when that rolls around. I will need more coverage for him and at the counters if you don’t mind. Dishes…busing tables, taking orders, and the like.”

  “Don’t mind at all.” I shook my head, trying not to grimace at the dishes. Ughhh, dishes.

  She smiled brightly. “Ana will be glad you are here. I’m glad you are.” She gave me a quick hug, grabbed a menu, and shoved it at me. “It’s not much of a menu, but learn it all. Some are quite particular.” She winked and started back toward the front.

  I was getting tired just watching her. She never stopped. She pointed at
the coffee pots as we exited the back. “Those pots? Always clean, always fresh, and mostly always full, okay?”

  I nodded, still hugging the menu.

  “I could have you follow Ana about for today. She is coming in after breakfast. She had an appointment.” She stopped suddenly. “You can stay, yes?” She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I got so excited you said yes to the job that I forgot to ask. I really hadn’t expected you so soon.”

  I smiled. “I will call my mom and let her know, but yes…I can stay.”

  She hugged me again. “We are slow today. So how about this? I’m gonna set you at the end of the counter with the menu. I’m gonna pour you some coffee and you can start memorizing.”

  I nodded. “Sounds like a good start.”

  It would be fun to sip, memorize, and people watch from my little perch at the end. I set the menu before me and started to scan the items before me.

  “Black?”

  I smiled up at her. “Perfect.” And after the first sip, my words rang true…it was a perfect cup of coffee. I focused on the menu, but continued to get distracted when the bell above the door jangled. Pieces of my past trickled through.

  It was a good part of my past. It was the happy kid days. I really had a good childhood. It was just that little hiccup at the end and then the major mistake…Logan.

  He would definitely have an opinion about me returning to my past. “My phone,” I sighed, remembering it sat on the charger in my room. I hadn’t checked it for any messages. I dreaded turning it on. I was okay in the land of denial for right now.

  I leaned over the counter and reached for the phone on the back wall, so I could call my mom. She would be delighted by the change of events.

  I had just hung up, when the bell jangled again. I plopped down in my seat and picked up the menu again.

  “You boys are early today. Breakfast instead of lunch?” Mrs. Winston greeted.

  “Mom fed me breakfast. I was opting for lunch, but this guy here was suddenly hungry.”

  I glanced up quickly, recognizing my brothers’ voice. He wasn’t alone.

  Max Brandon’s eyes were on me. My face warmed.

  “Yeah, I think his want of breakfast had something to do with him seeing my sister come in here, but…”