The One You Fight For (The Ones Who Got Away)

by Roni Loren

  “So you did.”

  She shrugged. “I wasn’t going to, though they’ll never know. I was feeling pretty rebellious by the end of high school. I was secretly applying to schools that focused on the arts. I was going to move to New York and just deal with the fallout. But after we lost Nia, it all seemed really silly and dumb. Selfish, you know? And I for sure couldn’t leave town.”

  He frowned.

  “Plus, I didn’t want to write or sing anymore anyway. What was there to sing about? I was devastated and angry and needed action. Going into research made sense. It gave me an outlet for all that emotion. It was the right decision.” She said it with such fervor that it sounded as if she was trying to convince him even though he hadn’t passed judgment.

  He pulled her hand up to his mouth and kissed their joined knuckles, a lock of hair falling over his eyes. “The world will be a better place because of your research. That’s something to be proud of.”

  Her breath sagged out of her. “Yeah. It is. If I can get anyone to listen to me.”

  They walked a few more steps in silence. She thought the subject was done, but then Shaw spoke again, casually. “That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t let yourself indulge the other side of your personality sometimes.”

  She’d been lost in her thoughts, and it took a second for her to catch what he’d said. “The other side?”

  They came to a corner with a crosswalk, and he pressed the button for the walk sign before turning to her and tucking his hair behind his ear. “I heard you sing, Taryn. You have a fantastic voice, and you were…I don’t know, captivating onstage. I couldn’t stop watching you. The way you sang that song made me… It made me feel shit because I could tell you were feeling it. It made me want to follow you out and talk to you.” He gave her a wry look. “I don’t want to talk to anyone.”

  Her skin felt too warm, the compliments both pleasing her and making her feel awkward. “Thank you, but that was just one random incident. I sang it with all that emotion because a memory of my sister hit me while I was up there. Which also made me panic and run off the stage, so not exactly a stellar performance.”

  The walk light blinked, and he tugged her hand, leading her across the street. “I think you should sing anyway. You don’t have to make it your job, but it doesn’t hurt to feed that side of yourself, too.”

  She frowned. “Shaw—”

  “I know I’m the last person anyone should be taking life advice from, but I can tell you that when I stopped gymnastics, when I let that part of me slip away, it was bad. I had this hole I kept trying to fill…with drinking, with anger, with a bad relationship. You can’t just shut down a big part of who you are without consequences.” He turned to her when they reached the curb. “Starting the gym, being back in that environment, even in an anonymous way, has made a huge difference. No, I’m not training for the Olympics anymore. That ship has sailed, been lit on fire, and sunk to the bottom of the ocean. But I can still do gymnastics. I can train other people on how to push themselves physically. I can tap into that vein of who I used to be even if I can’t actually be him.” He glanced past her. “You could do that, too. On the side. Write songs. Sing. Just for yourself. Just because it feels good.”

  Taryn stared at him, hearing the fervor in his tone, appreciating the concern, but he didn’t understand. He’d seen what happened. “I can’t.”

  “You can.” He guided her along the sidewalk, walking backward in front of her, a devilish, almost boyish look in his eye. “Taryn Landry, I dare you.”

  He stopped on the sidewalk so suddenly that she almost stumbled into him, but when she heard the music and turned her head, she already knew what she’d see. The Tipsy Hound. She groaned. “You have got to be kidding me. You did not just set a trap. On our first date, no less.”

  He laughed and lifted his palms. “I did no such thing. I was leading us toward my place because my car is there. I was going to drive you back to the gym. But I’m not ready for tonight to be over yet, and if I take you to my place, I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep our agreement to take things slow because”—he pointed to his chest—“depraved. So here’s the perfect solution. One more drink. And a song.”

  “This is not…” Taryn was about to protest some more, to shut this down, but then her eyes landed on the little chalkboard announcing tonight’s theme. She read the title twice. Oh, hell yes. She bit her lip so she wouldn’t smile and give herself away. She schooled her expression into one of haughty confidence. “Fine. You win.”

  His eyebrows arched. “Really?”

  “If”—she raised a finger—“you agree to help me out if I need it.”

  He smiled. “Of course. If you get freaked out again, I’ll be right there to get you off the stage. But I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

  He wasn’t getting her point. Good. She grabbed his hand, keeping his back to the sign. “All right. Let’s get this over with.”

  Shaw followed her into the dark interior, and the scent of the place—beer and barbecue potato chips—was becoming oddly familiar to her, something she maybe should be worried about. No one was onstage yet, and music from an old jukebox was playing. Shaw grabbed a table and ordered drinks for both of them. Taryn went off in search of Kaleb. When she found him, his face brightened. “Hey, you’re becoming a regular.”

  “Seems so,” she said. “Good chips.”

  “Family recipe. You gonna sing?” he asked. “It’s only karaoke tonight, but we’re trying out a new theme. You’ll need—”

  “Yeah, I know. I saw. I thought it’d be fun. But I was wondering if you could help me with something first…”

  Kaleb didn’t hesitate. “Sure, what’d you have in mind?”

  A few minutes later, Taryn returned to the table to find Shaw sipping his beer, the bowl of potato chips half-empty. He looked up. “All set?”

  “Yep.” She revealed what she’d been holding behind her back and plopped the cowboy hat on his head. “We’re all set.”

  Shaw looked up at the brim of the hat. “Uh…what’s this? Undisclosed cowboy fantasies?”

  “You do look good in a hat.” She slid into her chair. “But no. Since you were so eager to participate tonight, I figured you were aware of what was required.”

  “Required?” His gaze turned wary.

  She smiled sweetly, victoriously. “It’s country-duets karaoke. We’ll be singing ‘Islands in the Stream.’ I’ll be Dolly, and you can be Kenny. We’re up first.”

  Shaw’s posture stiffened as if he’d sat on a hot stove. “A duet? Oh, hell no. I didn’t realize that was the theme. That was not the deal. I don’t sing. And I can’t…I can’t be onstage in front of people.”

  “I can barely see you under that big-ass hat. Plus, I signed you up as Lucas. If you’re not up for it, we can go because I’m not singing solo on duet night. It’s not allowed.”

  He narrowed his eyes. “You’re getting around the dare.”

  Yes. Yes, she was. Winning.

  “I am a professor. Don’t take a smart woman out on a date if you don’t want to risk being outsmarted.” She smiled and patted his hand, digging deep and finding a Dolly accent. “Better luck next time, darlin’.”

  He watched her, a look of challenge coming into his eyes as she picked up her beer and took a long, victorious sip. I am woman, watch me gloat.

  “Ready to go?” she asked.

  Kaleb went to the stage. “Please welcome our first singers tonight. Lucas and Jamez!”

  One lady applauded. Everyone else ignored the announcement. Taryn pulled out her wallet and left money for the drinks so they could bail, but Shaw’s hand covered hers, pinning the bills to the table. “No way. You’re not wiggling out of this on a technicality. Come on, Dolly. We’ve got a song to sing.”

  Her eyes widened. “No, come on. You know you don’t want to do this. Admit
you lost.”

  Shaw took her hand and pulled her to her feet. “Nope. This is happening. You’re a professor. Well, I’m a former champion athlete. I don’t like to lose.”

  No, no, no. He wasn’t supposed to say yes. Taryn had to move her feet quickly to keep up. She suspected she’d pushed the man too far, and with a few drinks in him, he wasn’t thinking logically. They couldn’t do this.

  But they were still walking. She’d played poker with him, and he’d called her bluff.

  He led her onto the stage and then let go of her to step out of the main spotlight. He faced her, angling himself to be able to see the screen behind her that would play the lyrics.

  Taryn wanted to run, but the opening bars of the song were already starting. Shaw eyed the scrolling lyrics and put the microphone near his mouth. “Baby, when I met you…”

  Oh no.

  This was happening.

  She froze for a moment, the screen behind him flashing her upcoming lyrics, but hearing Shaw’s singing voice threw her for a loop. Her attention was locked on him. He looked unsure of himself, but he wasn’t half bad, and somehow the cowboy hat didn’t look out of place, even though he’d told her at dinner he was a fan of rock. He finished his opening lyrics and looked at her, something sweet in his eyes. A nudge. A vote of confidence.

  That was when it hit her. He was doing this for her. The last thing Shaw wanted to do was be onstage in front of people, but he’d gotten up there for her. Not because of the dare. Not to win.

  Her heart squeezed at the thought, and a surge of bravery swelled in her. She was being ridiculous. This was a nowhere bar with people who were barely paying attention. It was karaoke. No one cared if she messed up. In fact, they probably hoped she would. This was supposed to be fun. Everything didn’t have to be so damn serious all the time. She’d forgotten that part.

  She lifted the microphone and didn’t bother looking at the screen. The words came to her without her reaching for them, written on her childhood memory wall and forever imprinted. Her dad loved country-western music and used to play it around the house all the time, driving her classical-music-loving mother crazy. Dolly was one of her daddy’s favorites. The words tumbled off Taryn’s lips with a faux country accent. This song was so wrong for her raspy voice, it was comical, but she found herself getting into it.

  The beaming smile that appeared on Shaw’s face when she started singing almost made her knees go out from under her. He tipped his hat to her and sang along, messing up some of the lyrics when he forgot to look at the screen, but he didn’t seem to care. They got to the chorus, and she found she’d crossed the stage to get closer to him. The audience disappeared. She and Shaw held eye contact and sang about sailing away together to another world.

  In that moment, that was what it felt like. Being in another world, one untouched by her current drama and their complicated past. They were just two people on a date, singing a ridiculous song and having fun.

  Her tight muscles loosened, her throat opened up. Soon, she was singing and doing Dolly some justice. Shaw pulled her to the edge of the spotlight onstage and tugged her close, his smile mischievous as he sang. He’d won the bet. She didn’t care. When the line about making love with each other came around again, her skin heated and his eyes darkened.

  They sang their way through the chorus on autopilot, their gazes locked. And when the song ended and they didn’t move, it startled her to hear actual applause. Some guy in the audience called out, “You gonna kiss her or what?”

  Taryn laughed, but Shaw set the microphone aside and caught her chin in his hand. He dipped down and kissed her like no one was watching, nearly knocking his borrowed hat off his head.

  A whistle of appreciation came from the audience, and Kaleb came back on the stage. “Well, folks. I’m not sure who’s going to top that. Let’s hear it for Lucas and Jamez!”

  Shaw was still looking at her with hunger in his eyes, and she had to take a breath before she could speak. She lowered her microphone. “You should probably let me go now.”

  “I…cannot at this moment. We need to wait for the lights to go off.”

  Her lips parted, and she forced herself not to look down. Man, she wanted to look down. But her body was at least safely blocking him from the crowd. “You realize I will never ever let you live it down that you got turned on by a Dolly song.”

  The hand on her waist flexed. “Professor, this has nothing to do with Dolly.”

  The spotlights dimmed and she stepped closer, gasping when the steel length of his erection brushed against her thigh. She wet her lips. “Sha…Lucas.”

  “Yes.”

  “This whole plan about taking it slow…”

  “Yeah?”

  “Is really overrated.”

  “Epically.”

  They hurried down the steps on the side of the darkened stage, almost tripping over each other in their haste. Shaw pulled off the cowboy hat and tossed it on a nearby table. They were out the door in a flash. This time when they crossed the street, they didn’t bother waiting for the walk signal.

  Chapter

  Seventeen

  Taryn’s back hit Shaw’s front door with enough force to rattle it. Now that they’d decided to do this, it was as if neither of them could tolerate one more millisecond of not touching each other. Shaw kissed the curve of her neck, his hand cradling the back of her head, as the other hand fumbled for his keys.

  The hallway was empty, but the security camera tucked into the corner stared back at Taryn, silently judging her lack of decorum. Someone would get quite a show if they watched any of the footage. Right now, she couldn’t find it in herself to care. She groaned as Shaw’s teeth grazed her collarbone, and her nipples hardened in anticipation of him moving lower. Her fingers threaded in his hair, that thick, silky hair. She closed her eyes. “We need to get inside.”

  “Yes. Inside,” he said between kisses. “Inside is good.”

  He finally got hold of the key and jammed it into the lock next to her hip. The door released behind her, making her stumble backward, but he banded an arm around her, keeping her upright. Once they’d crossed the threshold, Shaw kicked the door shut behind them. The apartment was cool and dark, but Taryn’s skin was burning all over. Never before had she felt so desperate to get naked with someone. It felt like end-of-the-world urgency. Like this was the last sex she’d ever get to have, and the clock was ticking. Aliens were descending. Killer viruses had been released. Go! Go! Go!

  “Shaw,” she panted, the plea in her voice borderline embarrassing.

  “Light. We need light. I want to see you,” he said, breaking away briefly. He hit some switches, making the lamps come on. Her chest heaved with urgent breaths as her eyes adjusted to the sudden light. When he turned back to her, the need on his face made every female part of her light up and report for duty. His gaze tracked over her without shame. “God, you’re gorgeous.”

  She smiled, basking in that look of pure want he was sending her way. “Back at you, cowboy.”

  He laughed and gathered her to him. “Now, that is something I’ve definitely never been called.”

  He slid his hands down to her backside, pulling her against him, letting her feel the hard heat of him and how much he wanted her. Her inner muscles tightened, aching. But Shaw didn’t go back to kissing her. His gaze searched her eyes. “Tell me you want this. Tell me I’m not rushing you. Tell me you’re not drunk.”

  “Want it. Not rushing. Not drunk. Have wanted this since I met you.”

  “But now you know who I am. I need to know you’re really okay with this,” he said, holding her close. “Tell me you’re okay, Taryn. When you wake up tomorrow, it’s going to be with me. Not Lucas. Not your trainer. Not a random date. Me.”

  She cupped his jaw, the words pinging through her. “I know. I’m okay. I want this, and I want you.”

&n
bsp; He closed his eyes and released a breath. “Thank God.”

  With that, he slid his hands to her waist and pulled her sweater over her head. When he looked down at her lace-edged bra, he made a guttural sound deep in his throat. “Fuck. Look at you. I want to taste every sweet part of you and then go back for seconds.”

  He cupped her through her bra, drawing a thumb over the sensitive bud, and she let her forehead fall to his shoulder as sensation raced over her skin. “I’m not that sweet.”

  He laughed as his hand slid beneath her bra strap and lowered it down her shoulder. “Good. I like that about you.” He reached around and unhooked her bra, the cool air kissing her skin. “I like a whole lot of things about you, professor.”

  The words wound through her as he walked her deeper into the living room and guided her onto the couch. The leather was cool against her body, her internal furnace dialed to max. He lowered to his knees on the floor beside her. His head dipped down, his tongue tracing over her sensitive nipple, making it tight and achy. The move was simple, but the sensations were so decadent that it was like unlocking a door she hadn’t known she’d sealed. Her neck arched, and she let out an embarrassing shriek.

  She closed her eyes, suddenly self-conscious of the noise. All that shrieking and yelling was only supposed to happen in movie sex, not real life. And all he’d done was put his mouth on her. “Sorry. It’s been a while. I’m…wound up.”

  “Shh. Don’t you dare apologize, baby.” He kissed her breast with featherlight touches, his hand following the tracks. “You have no idea what hearing you does to me.”

  Baby. The endearment made her warm inside because she could tell it’d just slipped out. He wasn’t being so careful with his words anymore. Her eyes stayed closed as he traced a hand up her ribs and palmed her other breast. “Tell me what it does to you.”